trying to stay sane with depressed spouse - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-16-2012, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
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hi everyone!  this is my first post on the mental health forum here.  years ago i kept up with the gentle discipline and unassisted homebirth forums (under a different name).  i'm getting back online because i need an extra layer of support.


it's past my bedtime, really, so this will be short, but essentially i'm married to a man who has suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as i've known him.  like many men, it's sooooo hard for him to even admit that he has any problems, let alone put in the emotional work to dealing with him.  so that's been hell for ten years, but then this year his mother died very suddenly.  it's the first death we've ever had to cope with as adults, and he's just in pieces.  even before this, i was a big caretaker to him.  i've been mostly in charge of working/paying bills, running our home and homeschooling.. i also suffer from anxiety and have developed depressive symptoms over the past five years.


my dh is finally coming to a place where he wants to address his depression (i think because he's really hitting a bottom and knows he has to move up!) . .  is there already a support thread for caretaker spouses of depressed partners?  i just need a place to go with all the various stuff that goes along with this because my best friend's ear is about to fall off! lol!


ok that's all i have for tonight.  if there is already a thread for this, please point me to it.  if not, anyone else out there in the same boat/ with some sage advice?

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#2 of 3 Old 12-27-2012, 02:13 PM
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I am in the boat! My DH has depression, anxiety and addiction issues. He has cycled again and is seriously depressed. One of the hardest parts for me is not personalizing his mood. It's hard to be around someone who is so miserable and acts like they don't like you. He withdrawals, and any interactions are very disengaged. Very little has helped in the past and the things that have held promise are too expensive for the long term treatment which is necessary.

I don't know of a support thread but I would be happy to join one!

~Patti~ rainbow1284.gifMomma to three girls and three boys chicken3.gif, First mother to one girl triadadopt.jpg

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#3 of 3 Old 05-31-2013, 09:21 PM
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Hi there,


I was coming to post something similar... I see that this thread hasn't gotten much response.  There have to be more of us out there!


My husband has struggled with anxiety and depression for seemingly his whole life.  So many issues... Lately it's been really hard because he's been trying to find a new med that works, and so is just angry, sad, depressed, just a mess all the time, and pretty much leaves everything up to me.  I'm having a hard time staying compassionate and not feeling resentful and upset myself. 


As far as getting support, I guess this might not be the place.  I read a book a long time ago called Depression Fallout by Anne Sheffield.  I guess I should reread that one.  Anyway, there's a website with a message board...  I might see if I can find some more people over there!


Best of luck to you!

Mama to a daughter (3/2008) and a son (7/2011)
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