False pregnancy and the anxiety that causes it - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-09-2013, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is embarrassing for me to talk about, but it has plagued me enough times that i need to share it. Over the last 7 years, i've had several false pregnancies--i believe for a few weeks to several months that i am pregnant when i'm actually not. Usually they dont last for more than a month or two, but i had one that lasted for about 7 months. Normally after i get my period and/or several negative hpts i let the idea go, but a few times the "pregnancy symptoms" were so strong that i couldnt let the idea go. And then, unknowingly, i am fueling the belief by focusing on these symptoms, making them more intense than they really are. Sometimes i have imagined there is a baby kicking inside of me when its actually just muscle twitches. It is so, so embarrassing. I know what its like to be pregnant, i've had two full term births with healthy babies. So its not as if i'm ignorant or wishing i could have a baby or anything like that. When i reflect on it i see that i have intense fears around pregnancy and birth, namely that i feel out of control of my body while pregnant.

I had two unassisted births because i cant stand strangers touching me or looking at my naked body, especially while in a vulnerable state. I know that theres always the possibility i might need to go to the hospital with any future babies i may have and that terrifies me. I dont like admitting it but it does. So the fear of being out of control has made me create these fantasies that only serve to humiliate me. The few times when the "pregnancies" lasted longer than a few months, i tried explaining my symptoms to my doctor but she wouldn't take it seriously due to the negative hpts and periods. It makes sense she wouldn't and that should have been a clue, but it often takes me forcing myself to let go of the idea in order to see the truth. Nothing anyone says changes my mind, it has to come from my own realizations. I am frustrated with it and i hope it never happens again. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this before and if they learned anything from it.
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#2 of 3 Old 07-09-2013, 10:46 AM
 
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I've had a bit of trouble with this too. It happened after my first loss, which really depressed me. It took me over a year after that to get pregnant with DS and I can remember thinking so many times that I was pregnant even with a period and negative tests.

I'm sorry I don't have anything to offer. hug2.gif

Maybe someone else will have been through this and resolved it.


tea6.gifcancer-beating wife to caffix.gif DH since 7/4/09, mother to REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifDS 5/1/11 + energy.gifDD 8/21/2013

 

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#3 of 3 Old 07-09-2013, 01:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It helps me to know i'm not alone, thank you. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, too. It is so lonely and depressing.
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