How to stop inner tension in its tracks? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 10-14-2013, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have suffered from this my whole life. It's not exactly anxiety, not exactly depression. I remember in 7th grade going to a peer support group for kids having a tough time. I told the counselor how I feel a tightness in my stomach almost all the time. I get irritable, grumpy, and snappy. It's really bad around the PMS time but it's there almost on a daily basis. It steals the joy from my life and often spills over to affect my loved ones. If my buttons are pushed during this time I can get super angry and yell. Most of the time my husband is the focus of this. Clearly I can control the yelling part because I seldom yell at my kids. (To be fair, dh has been the source of a lot of pain and breaking of trust over the years but he doesn't deserve my angry outbursts. I should rise above that behavior.)

 

When my dd2 was very small things got overwhelming. She had a lot of medical problems, and my dd1 was very spirited and challenging, and dh was not emotionally around. I started taking a mild anti-depressant. The knot in my stomach went away! It was liberating. But then so did my intense feelings of spirituality, love, joy and humor. It numbed me somewhat. I made it through her health problems, nursing school, and first year as a nurse on the meds. I finally decided to wean off because I was not ever suicidal-depressed. The meds were making my brain too foggy and I needed to be sharp and alert at work-- I work with very sick peds patients.

 

I weaned off about 9 months ago. I am functional and my brain is sharper and I am feeling more. But that darned tight feeling is back in my stomach and the flares of anger/hurt/irritation/tension is back.

 

How do I get rid of this? I know and practice relaxation, exercise, and all that. But in the heat of the moment when I am in the grocery store or the car or can't sit down and find that quiet place, how do I relax myself inside and get rid of that tight feeling?


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#2 of 7 Old 10-20-2013, 08:27 AM
 
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:Hug USAmma. That sounds challenging! It looks like your post might have been missed, so I'm bumping it up for attention. :bump: Anyone have suggestions to share?


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#3 of 7 Old 10-22-2013, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by HappyHappyMommy View Post
 

:Hug USAmma. That sounds challenging! It looks like your post might have been missed, so I'm bumping it up for attention. :bump: Anyone have suggestions to share?

Thank you. :-) Maybe no one can relate? I have had a good week. I have been carrying a worry stone that has sentimental value to me in my pocket, and I just rub it sometimes and it is allowing me to focus on relaxing. I would love to have other suggestions though. 


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#4 of 7 Old 10-22-2013, 08:52 PM
 
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Have you tried yoga?  I just started a Gentle Yoga class and it has been wonderful.  Also, meditating 10 minutes a day seems to help me.

 

Years ago I was also on anti-depressants.  It. Was. Wonderful.  I smiled ALL the time.  It felt good to be on something that took the edge off...and I just wasn't angry about anything anymore.  A few years later I decided to make some changes.  I took charge of my life and ditched my MD for a naturopath.  The naturopath discovered that I was having some food intolerance and that I was anemic.  As I removed the offending foods from my diet and corrected the anemia, it was then that I decided to quit Zoloft.  It took several months to wean off of it.

 

Since then I have checked in a few times with a therapist.  I've done more than my fair share of reading self-help books and online research to help myself feel better, too.  What I learned was that I matter as a human being.  But, the only person that could be my biggest cheer leader had to be myself. 

 

I like the worry stone idea.  Other things that are great tension relievers are walks outside....rain or shine.  I love my rain pants.  Pets are also amazing tension relievers...

 

Hope this helps.  (((Lots of hugs.)))

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#5 of 7 Old 10-26-2013, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pepin, thank you so much for taking the time to reply and sharing your story. Yoga! I used to practice yoga when I was ttcing #1, who is now almost 13. For some reason I completely forgot about yoga. I was never that great at it but it did help me focus and took away my tension, and may have helped me to become pregnant finally. I will get out my yoga book and get a routine going again. I think it will help me too, when I am awake for half the night on my nights off (I work 12 hour night shifts at a hospital) and the rest of the family is sleeping and I am lonely.


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#6 of 7 Old 10-26-2013, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I will dig out the incense and light it while I stretch, too. Thanks again. :-)


7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#7 of 7 Old 02-02-2014, 09:26 PM
 
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How are you feeling these day?
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