I am struggling.
4 years ago after losing my baby, and my husband, who left me because he couldn't stand how depressed I was, I finally went on an anti depressant (Effexor)
I went from a stay at home, homeschooling mom who had never spent a day away from her kids (2 ds 10 and 8 at the time) to working, and shuttling my kids back and forth to their dads. I managed to keep my house, claw my way back into my old profession, and I met a wonderful man who now lives with us. I share custody but the kids live with me and see their dad every other weekend and every Tuesday night overnights.
I was doing well. I stopped taking the Effexor after being on it for almost 3 years. I've been off it almost a year now, and I think it's maybe been a slow decline back into depression.
I should be happy.
I am miserable.
I am so sad whenever my kids leave. I cry and can barely function. It seems to be getting worse and worse. I don't know if this is normal because things have finally settled in my life and I finally have time to really miss my kids when they go. Maybe I have just been through so much at this point in my life that I just am very damaged. When my kids are with me I feel good, but when they go it just kills me. I miss my family. I miss my kids when they are gone. So much of my life is not what I had hoped and dreamed of. Yet at the same time I have so many wonderful things going on.
I fear losing this relationship with my live in partner. I fear I am too sad too often. He has no kids and he is very even keeled and happy. He also does not support the idea of me taking anti depressants again. However I don't think he understands the magnitude of the trauma I've been through. I don't want to take medication again. But I want to feel better. I'm just not sure how to feel better.
4 years ago after losing my baby, and my husband, who left me because he couldn't stand how depressed I was, I finally went on an anti depressant (Effexor)
I went from a stay at home, homeschooling mom who had never spent a day away from her kids (2 ds 10 and 8 at the time) to working, and shuttling my kids back and forth to their dads. I managed to keep my house, claw my way back into my old profession, and I met a wonderful man who now lives with us. I share custody but the kids live with me and see their dad every other weekend and every Tuesday night overnights.
I was doing well. I stopped taking the Effexor after being on it for almost 3 years. I've been off it almost a year now, and I think it's maybe been a slow decline back into depression.
I should be happy.
I am miserable.
I am so sad whenever my kids leave. I cry and can barely function. It seems to be getting worse and worse. I don't know if this is normal because things have finally settled in my life and I finally have time to really miss my kids when they go. Maybe I have just been through so much at this point in my life that I just am very damaged. When my kids are with me I feel good, but when they go it just kills me. I miss my family. I miss my kids when they are gone. So much of my life is not what I had hoped and dreamed of. Yet at the same time I have so many wonderful things going on.
I fear losing this relationship with my live in partner. I fear I am too sad too often. He has no kids and he is very even keeled and happy. He also does not support the idea of me taking anti depressants again. However I don't think he understands the magnitude of the trauma I've been through. I don't want to take medication again. But I want to feel better. I'm just not sure how to feel better.