for you, Mary...
Feeling crappy doesn't help. You DO have the option of cancelling.
But your house is cute and cozy, and you can make it pleasant for YOU, instead of posh and huge and fancy- and that would feel good, right? How can anyone find fault with that? If they do, well how foolish are they?
My mom always said to me in the days when dh and I had little crappy apartments and not much $- you may not have much, but you can ALWAYS be clean (I can hear her say, "Soap and water is cheap!), and you can always make your house a HOME for your family, and pleasant for YOU!
She would know...she was a SAHM, wife of a bluecollar worker, lived in tiny apts. just starting out, (one had an outhouse!), and no matter what, she ALWAYS made her home very cozy and pleasant and clean. When I was growing up our house was not big, nor fancy, but cozy, and clean and safe feeling and THAT is what counts.
Now she is 76 and a widow. Her apt is immaculate and comfortable and very very nice. No matter how dumpy her apts were, wherever she has lived since my father died (she is sort of a "gypsy"-type and moved alot over the years), she just determined to make it work and make it as pleasant as possible. It can be done!
Do you have a neighbor, friend or sibling who can help you clean this afternoon or tonight, and then come back and help you with finishing touches and to set up tomorrow morning? If you make alittle effort at a time, and use what resources you DO have, to do what you want/need to do, well...it can feel good! Might make a difference in your outlook too!
You can have fun with your dd on HER special day and her great granddad and his wife, can take or leave it. It's NOT about them! It's about your dd's special first birthday right? And you will know that you have done the best you could, whether they "get" it or not. YOUR house is YOUR home. It's their privilege to be invited to share this special time with your dd.
I just want it to be ok for you Mama. Please take care and have another
! Remember that you can cancel also. It is an option.
Hopefully someone else will post with better ideas than mine.
Joyce in the mts.