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#1 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 03:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been having some pretty bad anxiety attacks here lately-
like the least bit of something can totally set me off and for the rest of the day I can not function correctly.
I am overwhelmed by all of my responsiblities- which are not more than most women- except that I have an out of town on work husband.- but I just can not seem to handle it all.
The laundry is never caught up- and now the dryer is broke- so that makes that worse. or if it is - it is not put away.
The dishes are never done on time-
The bills are never paid on time it seems- I have a strange avoidance of the post office.
And now the dryer will cost money to fix and we got a 400$ gas bill in the mail today.
I do not feel that I am being the best mom I can be- and am not- because of this and other issues I am having. I so wanted all of this to be worked out before I had kids! And here I am!
I am contemplating going to some form of couseling and taking some medication- cause this has got to stop. I can not go another day like this.
I am completely irrational.- it all piles up and I feel like I am drowning.
Instead of just doing things- i let the stress of all that I have to do freak me out and then I do nothing- not because I am lazy tho- its like I just can't without breaking down- and I refuse to break down!
UGH!
Anyone else or I am sinking alone?
Emilie
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#2 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 05:59 AM
 
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Emilie: No, honey you are not alone. Here I am. there are others too. Have you been to a therapist or someone who has diagnosed your anxiety?? Im not saying you cant be sure yourself whether or not anxiety is controlling your life, just wondering i guess.
I've suffered all my life and finally went on meds with the birth of my second child. At times it's gotten better, but not lately. it seems worse. I think meds can help, sometimes it involves some time and finding the right med. There are other ways to deal as well but im not one who has much experience with anything working well. It is tough. I 've tried natural herbs, I've been taking chinese herbs, My exercise could be better , surely. I really should stay offf the coffee---- I think for me there are other issues, of course. It's like i sabotage myself. I push the edge as far as possible. like tonite. I flipped on dh. I am sure it is over now.
please, get help. do whatever you can.
Im sorry, this is not the best help... Im a bit upset right now.
will post later.
~L
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#3 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 12:03 PM
 
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I'd offer you my life jacket , but I'd sink like a stone if I let go, so here, take my hand instead.

So far 2005 has been a pretty rotten year for me, anxiety attacks and all. I had such high hopes, too.

Since the latest flood hit me I have been trying to cope by focusing on the good things in my life (even when I don't believe them), and by thinking of how much worse things could be (like the Tsunami victims). It kind of just puts my problems in perspective for me.
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#4 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks.
I got a book today on how to be more organized- so maybe that will reduce some of it- now if I could only do it and keep it that way.
I am always worrying about everything- and then I just melt.
Emilie
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#5 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 08:46 PM
 
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If you are like me then you look around at everything that needs to be done and just can't figure out where to start, so you end up doing nothing. I find the only way I can get anything done is just to start on the very first task I see and go from there, wheteher it makes sense or not.
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#6 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 08:52 PM
 
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Hi! Just wanted to lend my support and a suggestion if you are open to it. I have some heavy duty anxiety that seems to run in my family. After my second son was born I seemed to be having troubles with candida. I cut all sugar out of my diet... no refined carbs, no maple syrup , honey or ant substitutes. The extra benifit was that all my anxiety was gone after about a month. I slowly cheated on the diet and the anxiety crept back. I eat really really well usually, but gave in to a ben and jerrys craving. The next two days I had panic attack after panic attack.
I only mention this because it worked so well for me. My energy level is way up. Things seem to be getting done! Drugs may work very well for some people. I try to take care of thing naturally to the best of my ability first. Some pharmecuticals are very powerful and may be hard to wean yourself off of. As you may have seen on the boards many children respond well to dietary changes... the same may work for you.

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#7 of 23 Old 02-03-2005, 08:54 PM
 
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You're not alone at all. I have been through it.

My advice for the anxiety attacks... make sure to breathe through it. not just chest breathing, when you inhale your belly area should expand. I learned this from my doctor and it's helped so much. When I felt one coming on I would sit down, place my hands on my belly so I knew I was doing it right and breathe in as normally as I could. When we have these attacks we tend to increase and shallow our breathing which makes it worse. Some of us even hold our breath at times! This will help with the attack.

Make time in your day for some sort of meditation. It works wonders! Or to write in a journal.

Make a to do list. Nothing to big! Start off by putting 3 items on it, and if you still have energy or get energy later in the day add one or two more and call it a day. As time goes on make the list 5 items etc. If you don't have any energy one day just take 15 mins and work on one area. And then do something else that is less stressful to you. Repeat as you can.

Ask for help. From a trusted friend or family member. Could be to watch your children while you work on something. Could be to make a meal for the family dinner one day. They could also help you clean and you don't feel so alone with it.

I wish you the best! You're in my thoughts!
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#8 of 23 Old 02-04-2005, 12:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am curious how to cut out the refined sugar- I have thought of this- is there a book you could reccomend?
Thanks
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#9 of 23 Old 02-04-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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Hmmm... I don't think that I used any one book. I was just really strict about reading lables. "The yeast connection" has an anti candida diet in it. But cutting out refined sugars takes a commitment if you don't eat a particulary healthy diet in the first place. How do you feel about your diet now?
(Just wanted to say that this may not work for youbut if you are interested in trying alternatives before resorting to drugs, it's worth a shot!)

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#10 of 23 Old 02-04-2005, 01:07 AM
 
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Hey Emilie - sorry, no advice, just wanted to offer a
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#11 of 23 Old 02-04-2005, 01:14 AM
 
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I just took a minuite to think about what you had asked about the sugar free option. I don't eat any packaged food at all ( this may be why it is easier for me) avoid anything with glucose/fructose, corn syrup (there are more that I can't think of) on the label.Most condiments have sugar in them(ketchup is a big culprit) Dont get treats at the bakery... even muffins. Otherwise just try to eat whole foods. Our bodies thank us for it !

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#12 of 23 Old 02-04-2005, 04:47 AM
 
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Emilie - you are so not alone! I have been in a similiar situation - minus the kidlets, but including the working away from home hubby. A few things worked for me:
1) counseling and medication. i was only on meds for 6 months, but they helped. and I think counseling really helped my marriage - it was really hard on my husband to see me so upset, and nothing he could do would help (in fact his efforts to help me seemed to make me cry more!) I got off the meds in order to TTC, and it was hard for about 2 weeks, but it was still worth it IMO.
2) A book called "The feeling good handbook", by David Burns. The book discusses cognitive behavioral therapy, and makes very concrete suggestions about things you can do for yourself to help manage your anxiety, combat procrastination, and deal with lonliness (a big issue for me when DH is on the road). At first I had trouble actually employing any of his techniques, but finally i forced myself, and it has made a big difference.

Please hang in there! I know it's a hard thing to get started, but I promise that it is worth it.
Best of luck to you!!

SAHM to my and and due in summer 2010, married to my best friend.
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#13 of 23 Old 02-07-2005, 12:01 AM
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Oh Emilie Big to you hon!

Years ago, and most of my life prior to that, I suffered from anxuety attacks (not knowing what they were) and stress. When my dear grandfather died in 97, I was newly engaged to DH and it hit me like nothing ever has. I went nuts...I lost it. I couldn't cope, feared life and death, had panic attacks hourly............life scared me. My husband also has dealt with this sort of thing though only the last couple of years, and thankfully because he supported me through my roughest time back then, I am now able to support him. He has needed anti-depressants which he is on and they have helped him alot. But, I couldn't cope with drugs as they made me more freaked.

What I did to help myself out was the Attacking Anxiety program.
The Program and company
It is a cassette tape program and self talking healing. It worked wonders. Within weeks I was able to cope.

I still manage stress better to this day. We've been through the muck over the last year-bankruptcy, money issues thanks to Dh being laid off, a new baby, and in 2002 a miscarriage and move all in one week. I managed through it all.

The best fact that I learned that still helps me survive on a daily basis:

Quote:
"97% of what you fear or dread will NEVER happen, and the other 3% you cannot change so why even worry about it?"

Good luck. Talk to your doctor about seeking more help. You need more YOU time also. You CAN do this and you WILL!
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#14 of 23 Old 02-07-2005, 12:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support.
I do think that cutting refined sugars out of my diet will help as well as other diet changes to go along with that.
I eat alot of pasta, tomatoes and mushrooms, beans and cheese- I am a vegetarian. are any of those bad?
tho i am hooked on pepsi....
thanks
em
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#15 of 23 Old 02-07-2005, 07:47 PM
 
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Emilie-
The first part of healing is talking about it, so congrats!
Some things that helped me:
EXERCISE! studies say it's better than med's! also that it helps you feel comfortable with a racing heartbeat like in an attack... do it outside if possible!
Deep breathing
asking for help and "me" time
seeing a counselor (much trial-and-error involved in finding the right one)
better diet
affirmations
I also had to stop watching any and all tv. I didn't watch it very often to start with, but I realized I had lots of problems if I happened to see some kind of "trigger" on tv.
check out www.mercola.com
for an anxiety method combining tapping on specific points of your body while saying affirmations... they also have diet info and info for parents.
Good luck on your journey-
and remember we're all here with you!
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#16 of 23 Old 02-07-2005, 09:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have started exercising 3-4 times a week at the local YMCA- and actually got a part time job in the babysitting room.
Thanks
Emilie
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#17 of 23 Old 02-11-2005, 09:03 PM
 
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#18 of 23 Old 02-11-2005, 09:12 PM
 
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I have had problems with anxiety off and on during my life. I tend to wake up feeling anxious. It helps me to realize that it's "just anxiety" even if the feeling is so strong that it feels like it could kill me. I do some deep breathing and eat. I think I have more problems if my blood sugar has gotten too low while sleeping. I used to have problems with low blood sugar when I was breastfeeding.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#19 of 23 Old 02-12-2005, 05:42 PM
 
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Moved to new forum Mental Health...

anna kiss partner to jon radical mama to aleks (8/02) and bastian (5/05)
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#20 of 23 Old 02-15-2005, 08:44 PM
 
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hey emilie

i go through bouts of anxiety as well. i totally agree about refined sugars. and the foods you described eating are not the best either. especially if they dominate your diet. i am getting acupuncture and was reccomended that i avoid dairy as well as wheat. and to eat soup and easy to digest foods in general instead. i think its good advice becasue when i am having alot of anxiety its sort of like i am sick, and need the extra comfort.

BUT if you are going to change your diet do it really gradually, and really forgivingly. dont make yourself go cold turkey, and dont give yourself worries over what you ate "wrong".

i am just beginng to change my diet and i feel better. i began by saying " ok just one cookie today...tonight after dinner" and let myself do that for a few days. then when i was ready, i made myself try to have soup for one of my meals. a healthy vegatable soup.

and thats where i am at now. today i had pizza, so thats not the ideal, but i feel fine about it cuz i know its going to be a very slow change. i am completly off refined sugar and coffee! so for you it might be that you let the pepsi go last, or the most gradually...since you are probably comforting yourself with it like i was cookies and coffee...my body is starting to recognise healthy veggie soup and some warm soy milk as a comfrting treat, and thats nice...

sorry this is long just wanted to describe to you what i am doing cuz i think it is really helping me.

another thing that is maybe helping me is to just really do the work to not let myself have obsessive thoughts. when i start worrying i tell myself to remember something mellow...my favorite is to imagine myself in a hot bath. also, i am taking more baths, doing more relaxing things. i am trying to work towards going to bed early WITHOUT reading or some other distraction, so i can teach myself to just LAY THERE and fall asleep.

and yes rescue remedy helps me ALOT in utter panic moments. and, i am doing a current experiment wth watching funny movies... just so i get to laugh more. i dont laugh enough.
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#21 of 23 Old 03-16-2005, 01:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilie
tho i am hooked on pepsi....
thanks
em
thats THE worst, caffine is a huge trigger for most people, and sugar is also not so good. I read that a can of soda has 8 tablespoons of sugar in it. Im sure there are websites that would disagree with that figure, but even if its close its still sick! I quit drinking coke i can actually feel my teeth again!
good luck, anxiety is wicked hard, I remember DH always asking,"what are you having anxiety about?" he never could understand that it was a generalized thing and not always specific to an event.
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#22 of 23 Old 03-23-2005, 03:22 PM
 
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I'm right here with you.I had a huge attack yesterday.I thought it had to do with my blood sugar,which may have had a little to do with it,but I know now it was anxiety.I've had so many things going on,for years,and I have had a very hard time dealing with it all.I live with an alchoholic(dh),my ds was taken from us by CPS for 2 weeks due to his homebirth and he had open heart surgery and we are almost positive he is autistic,my mom just went through treatment for breast cancer,my very special kitty,my Muldey,died,dh was laid off,dd has many issues from all of this and I'm the one who has to hold us all together.I feel like i can't get sick,I can't feel sad or upset because when I do someone gets angry with me(usually my dad,he doesn't show emotions very often,but shows it in other ways such as stomach problems).I very rarely cry,because when I do I am basically pushed away by dh,which makes me even more upset.Dd and ds know when I am very upset,ds will hug me and dd will draw me pictures,but I try to avoid them seeing me that way.

I'm going to try changing my diet,I rarely drink soda and I never drink coffee,I usually drink tons of water so at least I have that already.I'm also going to keep Rescue Remedy on me at all times.Just knowing it was anxiety has helped me.I kind of know what to expect,and what to do when it happens.The breathing a pp mentioned helps a lot.That was how I got to sleep last night.I concentrated on my breathing.I always have a very hard time falling asleep.I worry about everything,from dd's homeschool work,my messy house,ds,dh's drinking.I felt so bad,because I made my mom cry because I have been having these issues for a while now,and never told her.I just didn't want to add to her pain,you know?I have to go,dd needs me.

Student mama to one awesome,talented and unique dd,15 and one amazing, sweet and strong ds,12(born with heart defect Tetralogy of Fallot,also on the autism spectrum),9 cats,and 2 gerbils.
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#23 of 23 Old 03-23-2005, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time. Why did CPS take your son away for a homebirth? We would like to have a homebirth for this baby and now I am scared...
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