Ok, so I'm depressed. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:13 AM - Thread Starter
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I admit it. I'm fairly certain I'm clinically depressed. I've thought this for a couple of weeks and have taken some self-assessments which all say I have prominent symptoms.

So now what? I call my doctor and she puts me on meds? Are they really going to do anything? Is it a cop out? Is she going to just feed me a bunch of rationalizations so I feel better about taking the easy way out?

'Cause right now, in my unenlightened, f*ed up state, I feel like a pill isn't going to solve anything. Or worse, maybe it will make me feel really good and I'll be come addicated. I know nothing about anti-depressents.

I was a day late on paying state insurance so I am out of my benefits for December. I doubt I can seek a therapist's help but maybe I can find a support group.

Except I don't know what I'd need support for. I just feel angry, explosive, and withdrawn emotionally most of the time. I yell at my kids, don't enjoy parenting at all these days, hate housecleaning, resent my husband for working..blah blah blah. I can't even stand to be around myself! Ha!

Anyway, I have no idea where to go from here.

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#2 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:32 AM
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Yes, you need to ask for help. From your doctor. You may be surprised at the response you get. At this stage, you sound like you need a little help over the hump, rather than lifelong medication. That is called situationally induced depression. I may be wrong because of course, I do not know you and only have your post to go on. Please take care of yourself and do not be afraid to ask for help. You are obviously very strong in your base self, you asked for help on here, right? Maybe you don't even need meds, or maybe you need anti anxiety meds for a short period (like weeks or a few months) rather than antidepressants. Or maybe you just need to get it out there. Take care and be kind to yourself, you are on the right path, you are questioning whether it's okay to live like this, and, of course, it is not.

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#3 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:32 AM
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Jesse, I'm sorry. Depression sucks.
Do you get some exercise most days, I know hard to do when your depressed (I've been there). Exercise has shown to help with depression. I know some herbs seem to be helpful with depression too. I don't know if that's helpful or if you'll just want to tell me shove my exercise and herbs up my arse.

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#4 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:32 AM
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Good for you for being enlightened enough to know your own state. That is a huge step.

First of all. You can feel better. You will get better. Depression is a disease. It isn't an attitude or something you can will to change. It is a chemical imbalance.

I take and have taken meds for depression in the past. The best way I have to explain it and to explain these sorts of meds to my clients (I am a vet and prescribe anti depressants and anti anxiety med to my dog and cat patients who need them, even in animals, depressed behaviors have been demonstrated to correlate with decreased neurotransmitter levels!) is that the medication will increase the levels of the deficient neurotransmitter(s) in your brain. This in itself will make you feel much better. But the even more beneficial aspect to this is that it will make learning new ways of coping and thinking much easier.

The emotional pathways are linked to our learning pathways. When one is depressed, the other is influenced negatively.

Ultimately, you will need to make the changes in your life and your thinking that will make it possible for you to live in a more emotionally healthy way. Medication is a tool to help you achieve that growth. The idea is to use this tool to help lay down new, healthy neural pathways and then to move on without the need of meds. For many this is possible. The meds are not addictive, though when going off of them, they do need to be tapered to avoid some side effects.

There is no shame to it. The old cliche is that if you were a diabetic, would it be a cop out to take insulin?

I feel that being under supervision of a care provider when taking meds for the first time and with severe depression is important. They will guide you and teach you new ways to approach life and how to grow.

Also once you are feeling more balanced, it will be easier to do other things in your life to boost your emotional health, the healthy eating, the exercise.

Mama, you deserve to feel better. You can feel better. You will feel better.

I can only tell you from my experience, I would probably not be here in this life anymore if it were not for SSRI meds. I have a lot to be thankful for tomorrow on Thanksgiving day, and the fact that my life has been saved and so profoundly changed for the better due to psychiatric and pharmocological intervention is never far from my mind on this day.

Please reach out and make that appointment with your care provider and go to a support group. Depression is so debilitating and it robs us of so much.

Take care Mama.

Much love, ND

Mama to 3 daughters, expecting #4chicken3.gif

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#5 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:37 AM
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Jesse- Medication doesn't have to be the only answer (or even part of getting help). First, is there any way that you can look into finding a therapist in your area? If funds are tight, some therapists will reduce their fees, or put you on a payment schedule. You don't have to live like this, really. There is help out there, even if you don't have the right benefits right now. While you're trying to find someone, start taking really good care of yourself. Pay close attention to your sleep habits. Get more. Taking very good care of yourself physically (part of real self-care) is HUGE. Just the simple act of caring for your body and mind can make a difference. Hang in there. Try to find some help in your area. And try to let go of thinking that medication is the only answer. I'm a big proponent of talk therapy. My best to you.
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#6 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:51 AM
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Kristin- Wife to J, Mommy to B (11), M-S (8), and little J (4) and J&J (7 months)
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#7 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 02:49 AM
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Nothing but a darling.

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg


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#8 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 02:58 AM
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Hugs mama-
You are taking a huge first step by recognizing and acknowleging that SOMETHING is not right! Good for you.
You know what is best for you. Explore your options- do not write anything off.
I send my best.
I plan after I have this baby- to go seek some type of assistance.... i could have wrote your post.
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#9 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 05:27 AM
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Definitely check in with your doctor. But please have him/her do a thyroid panel first (unless you've already done this recently). I was totally messed up, couldn't figure out if I was depressed or not, was always yelling at somebody and then was diagnosed hypothryoid. I begrudgingly took the thyroid meds, and oh my god, I am a normal happy person again.
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#10 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 10:55 AM
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s Jesse . I've been there also and I know how hard it is with kids.

I agree that meds aren't the only solution to depression. It's a very personal choice. They can really help you manage to get to a place where you can do the other stuff that will help you feel well for life, like exercise and eating well and taking time for yourself. But if you can do that stuff without them, then that's great also. Therapy helped me tremendously, and after visiting a couple of them I found a support group that helped me. This is a very personal journey and I wish you wellness at the end of yours.
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#11 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 11:02 AM
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Yes you need to go for help,
As far as going on meds that is completely up to you to decided what is going to be the best corse of action for you.
I have battled depression/bipolar for years and I hate the drug treament but it is what is working for me and has many others....
I am in no way promoting meds because I dont think its right to do that, I just dont want to see you discouraged..
See your doctor talk about the options.
I wish you all the best in recovering.
You have taken the first and harderst step by coming clean with yourself about your mental status. and that mama is a huge step, so you are on your way.
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#12 of 15 Old 11-24-2005, 01:25 PM
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Meds plus "talk therapy" (ie, regular appointments with a therapist) are more successful than either alone. FWIW.

My dh has battled depression for years - he started on meds about five years ago and although he's had some ups and downs, they saved his life. No exaggeration.

He thinks of it like insulin: if his body isn't making the chemicals it needs to function properly, he needs to take medication. It's like a diabetic taking insulin. There's no shame in antidepressants and they can help a LOT. The therapy can help you to retrain your problem solving and your depressed thinking and your therapist can moniter the efficacy of your meds.

You can get better!

Can't give up actin' tough, it's all that I'm made of. Can't scrape together quite enough to ride the bus to the outskirts of the fact that I need love. ~ Neko Case

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#13 of 15 Old 11-25-2005, 12:43 AM
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Jesse et al-
After reading the great responses you've received and re-reading my own, I just want to be clarify myself a bit. I by NO MEANS was poo-pooing medication as a course of action in dealing with depression. I was simply saying that if that is your fear, it does not have to be the ONLY way to treat it. My sister has battled clinical deperession her entire life. Medication saved her life as well. My best to you. And I really liked Penelope's analogy about the insulin. Ditto.
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#14 of 15 Old 12-05-2005, 08:58 PM
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I am sorry that you are depressed. I wish things were easier. Medication can help, but my experience is that it is only when you follow it with cognitive therapy (Feeling Good is a book I recomend). I have been skipping the cognitive therapy part and it shows...

I wish you the best and lots of hugs.

Let's start a support tribe!

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#15 of 15 Old 12-06-2005, 12:45 AM
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I am so sorry you are feeling this way....here is what helped me:

Effexor (I had to take meds because I was so depressed that I stopped eating, sleeping, and moving. They lifted the fog so I could work on my depression doing the following)

Exercise (weights and cardio...usually 1 hou a few times a week)

Church counseling (money was an issue for me with therapists being $100 per hour..this is free and I just lets me express myself once a week to a really nice lady who gives me ideas)

Eat To Live (a book about total nutrition and helath..I totally redid the way I eat...now I eat almost all natual plant foods...walnuts and flax to because they seem to help the brain)

Time alone (this was hard for me to learn, but I have to have time to be introspective and play my guitar and such)

These are just what worked for me but everyone is different....just so you know I am getting off Effexor after winter is over so you don't have to be on meds forever if you start...just long enough to get to the root causes and move on....I hope this helps, Jennifer

Love your neighbor. Say yes to vax.
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