It's going to be a beautiful spring! Please join! (Depression support) - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#181 of 217 Old 06-03-2006, 12:43 AM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
to all. Why do we expect the weather to make it al better.


We're broke, having serious money troubles. I'm so depressed, but KNOWi have to hang in there. *sigh* I have to stop letting it control me.
Red is offline  
#182 of 217 Old 06-03-2006, 08:24 AM
 
boomingranny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: electric ladyland
Posts: 549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey there,

You know it's kind of normal to be freaked out when finances aren't going your way. Sometimes the judgement of ourselves in stressful situations just compounds the crap.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time and find some solutions soon.
boomingranny is offline  
#183 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 01:15 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Yeah, I get the "when finances aren't going your way" thing. I just got another letter from the Food Stamps office- no, not an approval, a request for MORE documents- I thought I'd sent out everything they needed last time!

And my ex hasn't paid child support in several months, my credit card is maxed out (from only spending what I should have gotten in cs.) He has GOT to get a job!!

Oh, and my parents are being rather negative about my girls' school. Thursday night they sat down and told me that they're very worried about DD2 and that they think she's "floundering" in this school, and would do so much better in special ed in a public school. Any excuse to bash my choice of a religious school. I finally told them "You're not her parents, I'm her parent, and it's my decision to make."

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#184 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 04:31 AM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,854
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Blech, finances. If money isn't the root of all evil, it's still probably the trigger for a majority of depressive episodes!

I want to gripe, and I think here may be an appropriate place. My mom is stressed: my dad was on hospice at the beginning of the year, we were on a death watch for two months, he started to get better, got on a transplant list, is incredibly stupid (encephalopathic) most of the time and not much fun to be around, she's having to take care of him, manage his meds, give him enemas, clean up after him, she's starting back at work (needs the adult interaction!), the disability payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to, is running out of financial and emotional reserves, and to top it all off is having major arthritic episodes.

So she's a little stressed, right?

Every doctor she sees wants to prescribe antidepressants! The woman is not depressed - she's effing stressed! And distressed! And has every right to be!

I know from depression, and she's not depressed! I'm really really glad that depression as a medical condition is becoming more well known and accepted, but geez louise! When along the way did they stop even trying to distinguish between appropriate circumstancial stress reactions and real depression?

ARGH!

/gripe
Arwyn is offline  
#185 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 10:09 AM
 
boomingranny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: electric ladyland
Posts: 549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
your mom needs a trip to tahiti more than meds!
boomingranny is offline  
#186 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 01:34 PM
 
vamp127's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think we could ALL use a trip to Tahiti!

So when do you want to go?
vamp127 is offline  
#187 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 01:53 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
yeah, let's send MY mom to Tahiti while we're at it- so she can shut up about my parenting decisions!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#188 of 217 Old 06-04-2006, 02:13 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,854
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by boomingranny
your mom needs a trip to tahiti more than meds!
Totally!

What she gets instead is me down here for half a week to help out and provide real company, and sometime in the next month or so, she'll drive my dad down to my aunt's house and leave him with his sister for the weekend while she heads off to the coast (aunt is in Monterey, CA) to pamper herself at a nice B&B or spa or some such.

A month of disability backpay finally came in.

I vote we all take such a cool vacation, if online and in our imaginations if nowhere else! How is Tahiti, anyway? I've never been. (I know Maui is nice, though!)
Arwyn is offline  
#189 of 217 Old 06-11-2006, 06:16 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn
A month of disability backpay finally came in.
Lucky you!!

I'm still waiting on my disability appeal (so I'm getting nada from them right now, but will hopefully get 2-3 years of backpay when they finally pay up.)

Let's see, what else? Ex hasn't paid full child support in 6m because he's unemployed, my credit cards are maxed out, and I have $2.50 in Food Stamps. I usually get more on the 7th of the month, but I was late with paperwork and I haven't gotten them for this month yet.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#190 of 217 Old 06-11-2006, 08:57 PM
 
Arwyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Twitter, RMB, PDX
Posts: 16,854
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I should have specified a month of my MOM'S disability backpay came in. Which does periferally help me, or she'd be even less able to help us out than she is.

Huge, huge s for having to deal with this money crap right now, Ruth. "Those people who love to tell you / money is the root of all the ills / they have never been poor / they have never known the joys / of a welfare Christmas."
Arwyn is offline  
#191 of 217 Old 06-12-2006, 02:27 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
This morning I told my Mom to butt out of my financial business (though not in those exact words.) She said "we should sit down with Dad and discuss your budget and expenses" and I told her no. "I'm 33, not 16 and I don't want you interfering with my finances." "You mean you'd rather pay bank fees than ask us for money?" "YUP!!!!!"

I don't think they have any idea how much they set me back emotionally the last time they "bailed me out" financially. It's not worth it.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#192 of 217 Old 06-12-2006, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
mightymoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mass. Confusion
Posts: 10,940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
I don't think they have any idea how much they set me back emotionally the last time they "bailed me out" financially. It's not worth it.
I can relate sort of. Though its not about finances, I feel like its not worth ever asking my mother for anything because I just end up paying for it later in ways that effect me emotionally. What I really need is their time, helping out watching the kids while I try to unpack all our boxes or get something done, but its not worth asking my mom for help. She keeps saying 'Oh once school is done (she's retiring this year), I'll be able to help you out, etc etc'. Of course she said that about 5 other things in the past few months (once X is over, I'll have time... then X passes and now its once Y is over) and I think she helped me out for about an hour. I don't ask her for it, she just tells me this, I have just learned to take it for what its worth.

I have a personal pet peeve about people who give begrudgingly. Whatever it be, time, money, etc I don't want it if they don't really want to freely give it to me because it fulfills some need of their own to do so. I hate it when people do things for others with the expectation that they'll get something back in return (unless of course this is stated up front) and this includes some sort of appreciation. I DO appreciate what they do for me, but I apparently don't show it in whatever way my mom wants it shown. I never give or do anything for anyone expecting anything in return. It's a gift I give. My mother always expects something in return. Bah.

At least I'm in my own house again. Yay

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
mightymoo is offline  
#193 of 217 Old 06-13-2006, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
mightymoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mass. Confusion
Posts: 10,940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey Ruthla - I like your DDDDC.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
mightymoo is offline  
#194 of 217 Old 06-14-2006, 09:13 PM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH GOT A JOB!!!!




Jeez, I've been too freaked out to even post. Used a redit card to pay a bunch of our bills this month and still couldn't make it. Tomorrow is my birthday and today his bosses secretary called ME to tell ME to send him back. Struck me funny they didn't even ask for him.

Mortgage is late but I should be able to pull it off now. I'll have to borrow against the Credit Card but wil be able to put it back with in a month.



And NO FAAIR sending irritating moms to Tahiti! We go, they stay home. I'd settle for any beach, anywhere! Jsut us moms. *sigh*


Anyone want to sing, We're in the money with me?


Ruthla, hoppe it gets better soon. My x hasn't paid on his arrears isince october. His dd is 27! And he only pays $25 a month, which I could have used!
Red is offline  
#195 of 217 Old 06-14-2006, 09:37 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Tell ya what Red, you sing "we're in the money" and I'll sing with you, but I'll be singing "where is the money'

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#196 of 217 Old 06-15-2006, 10:51 AM
 
boomingranny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: electric ladyland
Posts: 549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my birthday tomorrow too, yay for gemini's and bloom's day!
boomingranny is offline  
#197 of 217 Old 06-25-2006, 12:38 PM
 
vamp127's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Happy Belated Birthday, boomingranny!

So how is everyone doing?

Don't know if you've read my thread in personal growth, but I've recently found out that I may (being the operative word here) have been sexually abused as a child. The therapist feels that it isn't really important if I know for sure, just that I deal with the effects.

I've also started Wellbutrin in addition to the Zoloft. Doesn't seem to have any effect, though. I'm still not sleeping and not really motivated to do anything.

Now at the end of the week, we're heading to the outlaws for the weekend. Ugh.
vamp127 is offline  
#198 of 217 Old 06-29-2006, 09:50 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Ugh Ugh Ugh!!

I was SOOO looking forward to my girls going to camp for a month so I could focus on myself and do some healing. Instead I get to deal with a crabby, whiney preteen with head lice while all her stuff is already at camp so she has almost no clean clothes at home! I checked her head yesterday, it looked clean to me (after lice treatment) but then she spent 2 hours having somebody else pull "most" of the nits from her hair when she went to get checked (hopefully to be able to get to camp.)

I can't deal with this. I have no money to hire somebody to delouse her. Heck, I don't even have money for groceries right now! I still haven't gotten June's food stamps yet, I can't understand what exactly the lady at food stamps wants from the girls' school to process my recertification, my bank is threatening to send my overdrawn account into collections, I'm still not getting SSI, my ex is still unemployed and unable to pay me very much, and I'm starting to feel like my kids would be better off without me. I think they'd be eligable for Social Security payments if I was dead. SS office surely doesn't want to help me while I'm alive.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#199 of 217 Old 06-29-2006, 02:42 PM
 
vamp127's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, ruthla, please don't think that way. Your children would not be better off without you! You are having a really rough time right now and I can't imagine what all the financial stress is doing to your health.

I wish there was something I could do to help. Is there? Care package of food? PM me.
vamp127 is offline  
#200 of 217 Old 06-29-2006, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
mightymoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mass. Confusion
Posts: 10,940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ruthla - I'm sorry things are going so badly. Your kids would definitely not be better off with out you. It might be true that they might get more money at the moment, but they need and love their mom and I guarantee no matter how bad it is none of them would want a little more money over having you with them. Please let us know what we can do to help. Seriously.

I've had a rough couple of days myself. Tuesday afternoon I was rocking my son and he wasn't interested in sleep, so I put him down, he crawled around the other side of the couch (where the stairs are) and was playing down there. So I thought. I heard him scream and I rushed over to see my 1 year old son bounce down the stairs and land at the bottom. It was horrible. He landed on the piece of carpet there rather htan the ceramic tile and amazingly is completely fine - not even a bruise (he rolled down sideways as opposed to head over heels).

I am just traumatized by this though - that we've put off babyproofing the bottom of the stairs, that I let him out of my sight when I knew he could climb up the stairs. I feel like a horrible horrible mother. He could have been killed, I just can't get the vision of him bouncing down those stairs out of my head. : My husband doesn't understand, he just says 'but he's fine' he doesn't get why I'm so upset.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
mightymoo is offline  
#201 of 217 Old 06-29-2006, 05:25 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Sadie

I'm feeling a little bit better now than I was this morning. I took DD over to her school, and the school nurse checked her head and declared her "lice free." Her father is on his way over and will drive her to camp tonight.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#202 of 217 Old 06-30-2006, 08:55 AM
 
vamp127's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 2,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ruthla, glad to hear you're doing better. Keep in mind, though, if there is anything I can do let me know. If you need $$ for groceries, I have points that I can turn in for a giftcard for some grocery stores. I'd be happy to share.

Mightymoo, OMG, my oldest did that once, scared the sh*t out of me! Glad he's ok. Babies are resilient!
vamp127 is offline  
#203 of 217 Old 06-30-2006, 10:58 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
So we drove her to camp last night, and my Mom watched DS so we didn't have to schlepp him along.

I'm glad I got to see the camp- both girls are happy and well cared for. They're being checked daily for lice (yippee!! They're being treated and I dont have to be the one to do it!!)

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#204 of 217 Old 07-01-2006, 07:23 PM
 
frowningfrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Mass.
Posts: 2,461
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I guess its high time I reveal my anguish..
I didnt join the winter thread because I have been denying my depression for a very long time
Now its time to deal.
I am a bipolar 2 person, I have major anxiety, panic attacks although I seam to have them under control, soial anxiety but I have been forcing myself out to meet wonderful MDC moms lately.
I also feel that I have some serious PTSD, but I havent discussed anything with my Psych doc which I plan to next week at my next appt. It has been brewing for 2 yrs. I have held all my emotions in from a serious incident that happend to me. I have never discussed it with ANYONE how I feel about what happend and no one has ever bothered to ask me about it.
I have been falling into a depression for quite a while and I have been denying it for to long. I long spring and summer and I need to get out of this.

I am going away tomorrow with my family and it seams silly of me to join this thread when I know I cant get back to it for 4-5 days ..but I knew if I didnt do it now I wouldnt do it.

I hope you all are doing well on your venture to happiness, and I look forward to breaking my silence!!...

Peace all
frowningfrog is offline  
#205 of 217 Old 07-03-2006, 11:02 PM
 
kittywitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: The Room of Requirement
Posts: 13,484
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Hi all! I just wanted to join in here a little late. I have suffered from depression, OCD, and SAD since I was young. I went off my zoloft when dd#2 was born (I was only on it for 2 months or so) and really have done fine until recently. I am so stressed out that the past few months, I have been worse than usual. I have no energy, I plan all these fun things to do with the kids, but instead they drive me nuts and I find myself yelling and camping on the couch with the computer for hours just trying to get away. Add on finances, and I don't sleep much.

One of the reasons that I went off my zoloft is the stigma by my dh (I'm crazy) and the fact that I became worried about using it while bf after some research. Well, dd is 20 months now, and she certainly will NOT stop bf now, the little fiend, so I was looking at herbs, but those don't look much better! I think that I may ask about it at a future doc appt, but do you think that nursing school or jobs will look down on it?

AP Mom to 5 knit.gifhomeschool.giftoddler.gif
 
  

kittywitty is online now  
#206 of 217 Old 07-04-2006, 09:22 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
(((((Hugs))) FrowningFrog and Desiree

Desiree- future jobs and schools do NOT need to know your medical history. Taking meds isn't going to affect any of that.

As far as BFing on meds, keep in mind that most studies are done on nursing INFANTS, not nursing TODDLERS. A 20mo has a much stronger liver than a newborn, and can safely handle more drugs in the milk than a tiny baby. So the risk of using meds while BF is lower with an older nursling. What are the risks of untreated depression? As far as herbs are concerned, many have not been formally studied as well as pharmacological drugs. This doesn't mean they're less safe, just that the scientific studies haven't been done.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#207 of 217 Old 07-04-2006, 11:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
mightymoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Mass. Confusion
Posts: 10,940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
As far as BFing on meds, keep in mind that most studies are done on nursing INFANTS, not nursing TODDLERS. A 20mo has a much stronger liver than a newborn, and can safely handle more drugs in the milk than a tiny baby. So the risk of using meds while BF is lower with an older nursling. What are the risks of untreated depression? As far as herbs are concerned, many have not been formally studied as well as pharmacological drugs. This doesn't mean they're less safe, just that the scientific studies haven't been done.
Most nursing toddlers probably take in a lesser actual amount of the drug as well, since often toddlers aren't nursing in the volume an infant is - they do it more as a snack or for comfort, etc. Naturally all toddlers vary, I'm sure there are plenty out there that do get quite a bit of milk, but I think in general they would get less of the drug as well.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
mightymoo is offline  
#208 of 217 Old 07-05-2006, 01:00 AM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just checking in to say hi. Without the search function I get lost!


I'm home with just my 18 yo for the summer, looking for ways to keep p her busy.



frowningfrog and dnw826, welcome to the group. I hope things improve for everyone soon.



Uh, dh is working and we're netting LESS than unemployment. : so much for paying those bills! Ah well.
Red is offline  
#209 of 217 Old 07-05-2006, 07:55 PM
 
Tonia80's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello all. Joining here. Have dealt with social anxiety and generalized anxiety for yrs as well as depression. DH just left me a week ago. I am a mess and wish I could go to a dr. and get a prescription though I hate meds but I NEED something for right now as I am alone all day with 3 little ones and no car, no money, etc... But I am trapped here, cannot even get out of the house to get a medicaid application so I can GET to a doctor. DH is playing games and I am hurting and so low. It is so hard since he has been my strength when I have gone through periods like this before so now I do not know where to turn, KWIM? Just scared and lost and lonely here right now.
Tonia80 is offline  
#210 of 217 Old 07-05-2006, 09:36 PM
Red
 
Red's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: at my keyboard, writing my novel.
Posts: 4,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tonia80, I'm so sorry you're going through all that! How horrble that your dh isn't at least lending a hand so you can get help. Do you have a friend or neighbor who could help? (I live in western ma, and will help if I can!)
Red is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off