Oh thank goodness!
I read your story and I had problems with PPD also specifically a fear of smothering dd #1. I never told my dr. thinking they would hospitalize me!
My kids are older now 5 and 8.
My thoughts have only been happening for a few weeks but I have had similiar thoughts before when changing to a new med or when stressed. I take a mood stabilizer Abilify because I have been (mis)diagnosed as bipolar also.
I really don't think I am.
My mom told me that when I was a kid I worried a lot about accidently hurting my animals, like what if I fell down the stairs while holding the cat.
My oldest daughter has SID, mild autism, and likely OCD.
She was afraid to go to sleep the other night because she thought a mosquito MIGHT have bit her and it might have given her West Nile Virus.
Also my dad and his family (mom, aunt, cousins) appear to have OCD or another anxiety disorder.