Am i really a bad person ... ? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 05-04-2006, 08:01 AM - Thread Starter
Melda's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 4,501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
nevermind ...
Melda is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 05-05-2006, 12:28 PM
familylove's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not sure why you cut your post short, but I felt pulled to reply.

I'm sure you aren't a bad may feel as though you are, but that is often a mindset or distorted thoughts that produce that feeling.

I hope you'll write more if you need to.
familylove is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 05-05-2006, 12:29 PM
traceface's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: into the woods
Posts: 1,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sure you're not, too. I'm sorry you're struggling right now...
traceface is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 05-09-2006, 08:05 PM
ladybugmama's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel this way often, too. Today is one of those days for me. I hope you're OK. Hugs, mama!

to dh , dd 18 , dd 13 , ds 10 , & ds 6
ladybugmama is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 05-14-2006, 02:22 AM
WuWei's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the moment
Posts: 11,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I, personally, do not believe that there are "good people" and "bad people". I believe that people behave for a reason and sometimes their strategies to meet their needs conflict with other's needs.

It sounds like you feel like you are a bad person. Most people are taught that their behavior equals their value, either in their ability to produce income, or their intellect is their value, or if they 'make others feel good' they are valued. I believe that we all have strong positive and negative emotions and we can choose how we react to our emotions. Our behavior is within our control to a great degree. However, there are many variables (chemical imbalances, nutritional deficiencies, sleep deprivation, emotional distress, physical limitations, etc.) that impair our self-awareness and self-control. Self-esteem is one of those variables which distorts, or supports, our reactions. So, I don't find that judging myself or others as "good" or "bad" serves any practical use in my self-awareness, self-esteem or self-control. Seeking to understand my *reasons*, feelings and needs for my actions helps these goals though.

When I have done things that impacted others in ways that I didn't intend, or are hurtful in some way, I try to understand 'what do I need?', 'what was I feeling?', 'how else can I meet that need or deal with that feeling?'. Also, I apologize for the impact and move on to creating a strategy to change my reaction to my feelings in the future, by meeting my needs in an effective way (for me and for others). I don't expect others to "make me feel good".

HTH, Pat

I have a blog.
WuWei is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off