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-   -   Anybody else sad, angry, lonely, depressed? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/317-mental-health/48483-anybody-else-sad-angry-lonely-depressed.html)

Bladestar5 03-18-2003 05:13 PM

Ok, here is a thread for those of you who feel like this:
Anyone?? How is your day? What is making you feel sad, angry, depressed, lonely....

I feel crappy....REALLY lonely, sad, angry...all of them. I just feel like nothing I do or say is right and that I am unwanted here and everywhere else...Please, VENT AWAY!! Let me know I am not alone.

kamalani 03-18-2003 06:14 PM

Bladestar5

There have been so many days when I've felt exactly like you describe. You are not alone.

My feelings started when dh's job transfer required a move to a new state where I knew no one. Top that off with a baby who seemed to cry ALL THE TIME, and you might begin to get the picture. Sometimes, the only light at the end of the tunnel is realizing that it's gotta get better; it can't get any worse. Then, when it does get worse, you can look back on "the good old days." Cherish those moments when you're alone to enjoy simple pleasures...write in a journal, eat some ice cream, watch the sunrise. They can't take it ALL away from you. Don't let 'em.

What's bothering you? What is it that you said that wasn't right? Why do you feel unwanted?

RileysMom 03-18-2003 11:22 PM

We moved to a new city about 3 years ago and I still have no "heart - friends".

Had dd 20 months ago and it was a hard time (she was a 29 week preemie and was in the NICU for 11 weeks) I still struggle with post traumatic stress from the very horrible birth experience (emergency c section)

My dh and I really struggled in our marriage and we did marriage counseling. I thought we had really made progress, but since we stopped the counseling, everything has gotten back to the way it was before (he's quite distant and associates dd and I with "duties" not joy, kwim?)

I've really been struggling the last couple of weeks. I miss my dh at his best. I miss my friends. I have a very minimal support network. All my friends down here just aren't great friends! More like "occasional-lunch-buddies"

I feel you!

Bladestar5 03-19-2003 01:39 AM

Well, it is nice to know I am not alone, and I am sure there are lots of other moms out there that feel the same way, even though they haven't posted it.

Quote:
What's bothering you? What is it that you said that wasn't right? Why do you feel unwanted?
Well, I guess that I have lots of issues going on right now. Here at home, I feel very unappreciated. I know I yell alot, but I need some personal space, and I always have to stop what I am doing to help someone. I feel like I just need some alone time. So, I come here often (probably too often) because there are other moms to talk to. Then when I come here, I get bombarded with flames for giving my opinion when someone asks a question. I am damned if I do...You know the rest. I feel like I should not be my "authentic" self. That is just not me, to lie so someone will think I am perfect in their eyes?: I always thought honesty was the best policy. Ok, so I sometimes have trouble expressing myself, and I probably use the wrong words alot. But then, when I do apologize and explain what I meant, I get flamed, STILL for what I had said before. I feel like I am totally just HATED by everyone here. (maybe not everyone, but there are a few) I feel like I am back in highschool and I just picture the dance that I went to and everyone ganged up on me, and some students told me to go kill myself because they hated me. Ok, so I was a lowly outcast, a lonely, sad kid who needed friends. Was that so bad? I have always tried to keep everyone's best interest (except my own) at hand. I try to be there for everyone, but I don't know what people want from me. I feel really like there are many moms here that just plain hate me. Maybe I am just paranoid. I have a habit of being down on myself, but some of the moms here have really said some hurtful, cruel things to me. I am not going to retaliate and make myself look like a total YOUKNOWWHAT because they have been mean. I would no doubt be kicked off here. But, it is ok if they do?? I just think it is so hard to express how I feel just through typing.
I am just not going to give my feelings on touchy issues anymore. I end up looking bad, because people love to twist words. Besides, I have enough sorrows in my life right now, without having to worry about losing face on the internet.

Lucky Charm 03-19-2003 02:15 AM

Blade, i am frequently angry, irritated, frustrated and impatient.

and although you say you get flamed here at MDC, i dont, at least not alot, but i am dismissed. no matter the subject either.....

i am exhausted, i swear i have been tired since 1987. i am alone all week, with no one except my kids. my husband works long hours. i work weekends, my only time that i am an adult, able to talk with other women, etc. however, the job is stressfull....jaw-crushingly so. sigh. i am also bored. pathetic, right.

still i come here for the company of other moms.
stay true to yourself.

PM 03-19-2003 03:46 AM

Well you all saw my recent posts. I'm sorry you all feel so bad. I don't dismiss any of you - and Bladestar I can never figure out what you're talking about because I've liked the posts I've seen! If I saw you get flamed I would try to help - but I don't read too much around so I've missed them.

Moving is tough - especially with kids! I hope it gets better for those who have moved recently.

I'm doing better emotionally, but physically I'm a mess, and I'm not taking care of it.

And Bladestar - Before I moved out here - I think it was last summer or so - I was getting hate mails re my posts on Activism and re my former location (wrongly relating my location to a certain inevitable snobbiness). Try not to take it to heart. We should pity the women who feel the need to be mean; they have problems.

Lindy 03-19-2003 05:36 PM

Hugs to you Bladestar. I usually just lurk, but I'm here and I like you. So you do have friends. I'm pretty much a loner and I really don't care if people like me or not, I like myself. Don't worry about others, just try to be your own best friend.

kamalani 03-19-2003 05:37 PM


Blade, When I read your last post, I heard you loud and clear. I have also felt unappreciated and bitter because I seem to always stop doing what I'm doing to help someone else. Just be sure you appreciate yourself, because sometimes you'll be the only one who does, but that's OK. Treat yourself well, because if Mama's not happy, then nobody's happy!

Some moms here told me about FlyLady.net to help me get my house in order. It went way beyond that and helped me to jump start my life and get things going in the direction that I wanted them to. You might want to check it out. Fly stands for finally loving yourself.

I also need lots of personal space, and take any opportunity to get it... here on the computer, or elsewhere.

Any issue can be a touchy issue. Keep saying what you want to say. I've also been flamed and dismissed. It's hard to forget it. It just keeps gnawing at me.

You can keep everyone's best interest at hand, and you count, too! If people want something from you, they'll probably ask. If not, consider yourself off the hook.

I agree with sweetbaby, stay true to yourself.

Bladestar5 03-19-2003 05:47 PM

Thanks for the encouraging words. I had tried to put another post here, but something is wrong with my internet or something. I know there are probably people here who just like to start trouble. They ask a question, and I give an honest answer, and they get mad at my answer. Well, it was an opinion, and not intended as medical advice, or a direct order. They shouldn't ask a question if they cannot handle an answer that they don't want I feel like going back to that question and letting them have it, but what good will it do, really? I don't live to please them.....I am sure that the world will not stop spinning just because of me. But, if I rally enough supporters, hmmm...maybe we can all point out that they asked a direct question..... Then I won't be alone!!

kamalani 03-19-2003 05:52 PM

Quote:
I feel like going back to that question and letting them have it, but what good will it do, really?
If you fight fire with fire, you end up with ashes.

Bladestar5 03-19-2003 06:02 PM

True, so very true.

Lucky Charm 03-19-2003 06:34 PM


Bladestar5 03-19-2003 06:51 PM

Like I said in another post, I am thinking of keeping a notebook of the moms I get along with, and what some moms' interests are, and go from there. Then I know who is who. Not to be a psycho stalker , but just to remember who everyone is!! I forget who people are when there are so many of them here!!

brandyalexandr 03-09-2014 09:33 PM

I am so all of these I feel like I am going to explode and who wants to listen - nobody.  I'm not one for the internet because it is hard to describe feelings without hearing the tone or seeing body language, but I thought I'd give it a try.  I used to look forward to the weekends, but now now one days goes into another.  I really don't like TV but between that and books that's it. I do have to force myself  to go out.  When I am in I want to go out and vice versa.  Today I was so upset I didn't know whether I would cry, pass out or get sick.  It's gotten worse  since my aunt or godmother passed away last month and I was close, but that's not the issue, just the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.  

 

I even tried to make a purchase and that ended up to be a problem and became such a mess that the store wrote me and said they wouldn't take my order now.  I can't even make a simple purchase without a disaster.  Maybe this is way too much information, but right now I have no one else and this is how I feel - empty.  Yesterday I didn't get out of bed practically the entire day.  Please don't write and tell me that' not good because I know it.   


anonmother 03-23-2014 04:22 PM

I have been in a similar place. Lack of community, family leads to isolation. Then
we, or I, reach out from a vulnerable place. People often don't respond with kindness. Like sharks sensing blood in the water.
Awful place to be, you aren't alone, others have experienced this. Small solace, I know.
Just, you are in pain, most of us suffer without the support of trusted friends and/ or family. Nothing wrong with you as a person, my two cents.


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