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#1 of 4 Old 08-23-2006, 12:55 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi. I guess I don't really know why I am posting, other than to get my feelings out now before I explode! I have posted here before about my ED and how long I have been struggling with it. I thought it was getting a lot better but now I am anxious, tired, moody, mildly angry all the time, VERY impatient and kind of depressed. I don't know what I should do or if there is anything that I can do to feel better but give in again. I started out struggling with anorexia in high school, then got to the point that I was severely restricting and purging just under 2 years ago. I got pregnant with Evan and stopped cold turkey. I've seen a therapist a few times but it has never worked for me. I always feel like I am fine when I'm there. But anytime I go it's when I'm fine and feeling like it might get bad. The only thing I am worried about is that my son is almost 10 months old and still almost exclusively breastfed. I keep trying to figure out how many calories I can restrict myself to and still maintain my milk supply. I've been seriously considering just eating my normal diet and purging, because even though you only usually get rid of 15% of the calories, that would mean I would lose weight and not look so disgusting. I don't know what to do or if I even want to do anything to stop myself anymore.

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this or even if I am expecting anything. Maybe just looking for someone else to say they've been there too....
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#2 of 4 Old 08-25-2006, 03:53 PM
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i found your thread by doing a search. im at the edge right now. i feel so unhappy and ugly right now because of all the weight i gained while pregnant.
im really scared right now because im kind of fighting myself to try and eat something. i know i have to especially because im tandem nursing...
and its really hard trying to lose this weight the good way when i cant allow myself to count a single calorie or gram of fat... once i start counting its all over...
i just wanted to post so you know youre not alone...

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#3 of 4 Old 09-16-2006, 11:59 PM
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I just found this thread, and wanted you to know that you are not alone in struggling with an ED.

I would suggest that you try a therapist again. If you could find one that specialized in eating disorders, then that would be even better. I have benefitted greatly from the support and guidance of my therapist.

Now, I know it seems like purging would be a good option, calorie wise, weight wise, but as you probably know, the purging itself is actually quite dangerouse. You are risking your life. I also know that these risks do little to deter me when I am really in that ED zone. That is when I turn to my therapist and tell him that I don't want to stop, so I need help in knowing that I have to stop.

Hang in there. You are not alone.
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#4 of 4 Old 09-17-2006, 12:31 AM
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Have you seen a psyciatrist? I know that many mommies here are anti meds and what not but maybe they could help. I would hate to think of the negative affects that your uncontrolled ed will have on your life and the life of your baby. I'm sure you know that you could die and you may be at the point that you don't care , but that should be the warning to you that you need to act on this. Meds might not be the "best" option esp. when bfing, but its alot better than going into heart failer and dying.

Good luck
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