Frustrated and sad - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 09-15-2006, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
StrongSingleMama's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: OR
Posts: 605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have struggled depression and anxiety for years. It has been better at some points of my life and worse at others. I have been on and off Zoloft since I was 17. For the most part it has helped me. First of all I was curious for those of you that also struggle with depression and anxiety what meds you are on and what side effects if any you have had?

I have been feeling really depressed lately. I am pregnant and when I am pregnant I get very moody and have a lot of depression. Some days just feel overwhelming to me. I have a 19 month old daughter and am still taking care of her just fine but dealing with horrible m/s, headaches, exhaustion, depression and anxiety all while trying to keep a house clean, do mountains of laundry and chase after a toddler all day is hard sometimes. I am hesitant to tell my Dr. how I am feeling because I hate taking meds when I am pregnant. I don't even like taking Tylenol. I am not feeling suicidal or anything like that, I am just having a hard time.

Has anyone else gone through this? My husband has had a really hard time understanding how I feel and gets angry with me because of my mood swings and depression. He says I am being dramatic..I am really not trying to be, it is just hard to explain how I feel. In the past I have suffered from social anxiety that is so bad that I've had panic attacks, thrown up, etc. My husband is very outgoing and doesn't understand why I am so shy and why I have such bad social anxiety. My mom isn't any help either. She thinks I am just a negative person and just dwell on my problems and is just so frustrating sometimes. I hate feeling like this.
StrongSingleMama is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 09-15-2006, 04:57 PM
BellinghamCrunchie's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alpha Centauri
Posts: 4,293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a 20-mth old DD and I'm NOT pregnant and I often feel like you do. I can't imagine being pregnant right now. I have taken meds in the past (Prozac and Effexor) and they definitely help, but I hate being on meds, and with the Effexor at least (which worked the best) it was so hard to get off it that I swore I would never take it again. Right now I'm doing counseling which is helping a lot.

I'm really sorry your husband and mom don't understand and are blaming you for the condition. That just makes it so much worse.
BellinghamCrunchie is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 09-16-2006, 02:35 AM
Snowdrift's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I also experienced a worsening of depression/anxiety when I was pregnant, although I only have one so far. It was pretty hard.

I've also struggled with depression and anxiety for years, as well as self-injury. It can be really hard when people just don't get it.

I stayed mostly off of meds during my pregnancy. I did get a prescription for xanax (generally not used during pregnancy, mostly becuase of dependency issues) and ended up taking it twice for severe anxiety episodes.

Other than those very acute episodes I mostly got through it by staying honest with my family and explaining to them what was going on. I reminded them my DH a lot about how depression works and how the things that helped were things like helping me get things done rather than telling me to do them. I tried to remember all the things I do do to keep depression in check, like walking and eating well. DH and I did *a lot* of walking this past winter when I was pg.

Finally, I don't know if this is possible, but sometimes when DH just doesn't get it and I'm too stressed/anxious/depressed to try to work stuff out with him about the stress/anxiety/depression, I have an older friend, a mentor really, who can talk to DH about it. I know a lot of people aren't really comfortable having someone else so close to what is going on in their marriage, but DH and I have found that letting this friend occasionally help us out in this way by reminding us how to take care of each other in times of stress can really prevent us from being less than supportive of each other. So perhaps if you have a discreet, sensitive friend he or she could try to talk to your DH about appropriate responses to this illness.
Snowdrift is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 09-16-2006, 01:34 PM
kimkabob5's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: upstate NY
Posts: 369
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You just described my pregnancy with Abby. I was beyond moody to the point of severe depression and anxiety. Any little thing could set me off. I was not a pleasant person to be around, and I was terrible to my older children during this time.

With my last pregnancy, I took fish oil. Not the pills, but the liquid kind. I got it at the health food store and it really wasn't that bad. It is mint flavor, and I took two tablespoons a day. As a result, I had a wonderful pregnancy. My mood swings were few and far between, and I was peaceful and happy. I truly belive that it was the fish oil that made all the difference. It's really good for the baby's brain development as well. He turned out to be a very calm baby.

On the other hand, pregnancy is going to bring mood swings, period. But I'd really try the fish oil.
kimkabob5 is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 09-17-2006, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
StrongSingleMama's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: OR
Posts: 605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you for the responses, it is so nice to hear that I am not alone and that others have gone through/are going through similiar issues. I have not heard about fish oil but I am def. going to try it out.

Some days are better than others for me. Today was an esp. bad day. I have been severely moody and emotional. DH and I have been fighting all day and I have just been in tears all day. I know it isn't good for my stress level or my health so I am trying to be as calm as I can. I just have times when I am pregnant where things just seem hopeless and I feel so sad. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
StrongSingleMama is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 09-19-2006, 05:04 AM
Pookietooth's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 5,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to add that there are studies that show the risk to the fetus from untreated depression in the mom is higher than the risks posed by antidepressants. At least, that's what I've read. Of course, those are probably funded by the pharmaceutical industry, but it's worth it to check out the research, and to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. Can you take a prenatal yoga class? That might help.

Jen 47 DS C 2/03  angel.gif04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09 DH Bill '97.

mighty-mama and her sister Kundalini-Mamacandle.gif

Pookietooth is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off