Lotusbeans: Thank you for your condolences
I currently take (are you ready?), Carbatrol, Lamictal, Lithium, Paxil, Provigil (for sleep apnea but also has anti-depressant qualities) and 2mg of Xanax/day. Around the same time I tried to take Tegretol, I was also taking about 3000mg of Depakote/day. The side effects got to be too much in that case, too, and I wasn't seeing any improvements in mood. (I lost almost all my hair, had tremors, diarrhea...the whole nine yards.)
I have always taken Lithium, but I felt like things really started getting better after my doc added Carbatrol and Lamictal. I also was helped by having my sleep apnea dx and using a CPAP machine at night that allowed me to actually get some REM sleep for the first time in a long time.
Anyway, I know how frustrating all this "medication bingo" can be... you aren't alone. Just keep talking with your doc and looking at sites like the one perl recommended so you can make informed decisions. As for your current state of memory, take it easy on yourself. Just remember that it isn't you, its a medication that you are taking that's causing you problems with your memory. The effects will subside whether through time or by you reducing or getting off the medication.