Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Western NY (I miss NYC)
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this is a hard and embarrassing and painful post to post.
I used to hurt myself when I was younger and under severe stress, anxiety, etc, or if I were having a severe migraine cycle. I"d scratch my arms, legs with my nails or a knife.
I am under an intense amount of stress again, and have been really stuggling not to start again.
I"d appreciate any advice/support you may have.
Nic, loving mama to 5 with a SURPRISE 6th on the way.
Been there, done that. How do you feel about anti-depressants? I was on them for awhile, off for awhile, really against going back on them, but I started again recently and I'm so glad I did. It's made such a difference in how I feel, how I handle stress, and how I mother. I'm taking Lexapro now, which seems to work for me much better than Zoloft (which I used to take). I know medication isn't the answer for everything, but I do think that sometimes the brain just needs a little 'help'.
Hang in there. I'm not sure what else to say.
Hey, RubyV - I'm not actually stalking you all the way from the working mamas forum, just saw your referral to this in TAO. I'm afraid I don't have any experience with SI to offer, but I can send support your way. Do hang in there. Hopefully if you can make some positive changes with the other stuff that is troubling you, it will assist with this as well.
Does your dh know that the issues with work and childcare (and whatever else, I don't know if it goes further) are leaving you puking in the morning and thinking of self-injury??? Quite apart from the stuff your daughter is going through, this seems to be a big, big sign that the status quo is not working and not worth it. I would hope that your partner in life would see that and that the two of you could work together on it. It's better to be on the same page about these things - but if you're not, please consider giving priority to your own and your daughter's mental and physical health and safety.
As I said, I do not have any expertise or experience with self-injury, but I know from your other posts you're feeling pretty powerless right now, and legitimately upset about the situation - maybe taking back your power to act directly in areas of your life where you're not happy will make it less tempting to enact power over your own body in this way.
Autistic pagan mama with five kiddos on the spectrum, learning through living life.
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