I am increasingly convinced that STBX has narcissistic personality disorder. I don't want my daughter to live through what I did -- trying to meet his needs only to find that they were unmeet-able and have him criticize her for failing. So far he has shown few signs of directing his narcissistic behavior at her (she is 28 months old) but there have been some signs. For example, when he was depressed and she came in the same room to play, he would ask for a kiss. If she did not want to give one, he would say "OK DD, leave then." These are VERY small incidents so far & fairly rare. Meanwhile the disorder was on full display toward me.
We have split up & are divorcing. Everything is still to be determined re visitation schedule, residential schedule, & legal decision-making authority. I still have a chance to set things up so they give DD the best chance to have a healthy relationship with her dad. Any thoughts or suggestions? I have read not very good prognoses for narcissistic PD but if there is anything we can put in place that will mitigate its effects on their relationship, I want to take those steps now.
Of course, this is not a diagnosed disorder (that I am aware of). He is in individual psychotherapy as of recently, & we are thinking of seeing a specialist in toddler development about the impact of conflict btwn us on our DD, & I am considering asking that he be required to attend therapy oriented toward battering spouses. However, it seems to me that if he really is a narcissist, other approaches to therapy are likely to be only minimally helpful.
Will anything help???? And is there anything I can do for my DD apart from her dad to strengthen her to withstand the impact of his narcissism?
Loving Lucy Amelia
"light makes it better"