I can't sleep! I always think someone is breaking in! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 06-20-2007, 02:41 AM - Thread Starter
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Its 1:30 am and all day all I could think about was going to bed. I tried to sleep in my bed till 1, and dh was snoring so much I had to leave to the guest room. The problem with the guest room is I was scared to death in there. I am scared of the dark? I think I need my teddy bear, (ds) LOL. I always fall right to sleep with him next to me. I am going to be the poster child for why not to co-sleep because I feel selfish-but its a symbiotic relationship.

I have gotten out of bed 5 times, heart racing, SURE that someone mean was breaking in and going to steal my baby, or kill me or something. In a complete panic. It happens once a month really bad, my heart races at least 2wice a week at bedtime. (When I am not thinking about anything at all-i just have heart attack thingies for no reason)

I have dealt with this crap my whole life, I still dont really know how to manage it. It seems rediculous, right? I feel like I am insane, and when I wake up dh in the middle of the night to check all the window locks, he thinks I am crazy.

I usually just finish having my heart attack for 30 minutes and go to sleep. I try not to wake him up.

Can anyone shed some light on this? Or am i crazy? Anyone else crazy?

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#2 of 8 Old 06-20-2007, 10:21 PM
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If we're calling it crazy then I'm crazy. I am an insomniac to begin with and my BF falls asleep 10 seconds before his head hits the pillow, so I end up feeling very anxious and "lonely" at night. And, he also snores like crazy - I often sleep in a guest bedroom myself - if I haven't convinced myself that someone is breaking in or lurking in a room somewhere.
I know why I feel this way (past incidents), but I don't know what to do about it. I can't do sleeping pills - I end up endlessly tired. I did put a nightlight in our bedroom hallway, but I find I lie there watching the light for movement in the hall.
Sorry I can't offer advice, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.
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#3 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 06:30 AM
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I am right there with ya ladies, and even worse my DH works nights and I am so scared shitless to sleep at night. I am always afraid someone is gonna break in and kill my girls. On nights that Dh is working( 3-4 nights a week) the girls sleep with me. I feel alot safer to have them in my arms. I too can't sleep with a nightlight on in the hall because I am afraid to see movement. SO most nights I stay up until the sun comes up and then get about 4 hours of sleep, luckly my girls sleep in. I am still soo sleepy all day, until naptime (what a life saver!)
On the nights my DH is home, my oldest sleeps in her room and I am always waking up in the middle of the night thinking someone has opened her window. My biggest fear is that I won't wake up, and then when I go in to her room in the morning, her bed is empty lot of nights Dh will go and get her and let her sleep with me and my baby while he goes and sleeps in her room. I don't know how to deal with this. I love my babies SOOO much
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#4 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 06:42 AM
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I have this too, and we did not cosleep. I blamed it on my parents making me be in my own room at too young an age.

I have gone so far as to reconcile bad relationships just to have a man in the house to make me feel safe.

In my case, I had some truly scary experiences, just stalkers as a young woman and one actual night time break in as a child. So I think for me the fears had to do with something really scary happening.
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#5 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 07:54 AM
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You probably know this, but that's anxiety. The heart racing is usually a panic attack. Or maybe sometimes it's a proto-panic attack. I have the exact same phobia.

If you feel a need for medication a psychiatrist should be able to prescribe something for you, whether it's a daily med (like paxil) or an as-needed med (like klonopin).

Do whatever you need to do to feel safer where you are. Keep a nightlight, or whatever lights make you feel better. Turn on quiet music. Have a big snuggly blanket. Anything at all.

Try taking soothing herbs before bed. Take a valerian extract, for example. Passionflower, hops, and kava kava are also recommended for anxiety. You could take them via pill, tincture, or tea. Some forms will be more effective than others. Both the mild & strong forms have their uses... for example you could take mild forms for more of a non-drowsy influence, also although teas are often medicinally mild, simply drinking the hot tea contributes to the soothing effect.

Baths that are not too hot with epsom salts and a few drops of lavender essential oil will be soothing.

Nutritionally, try a Vit B complex supplement and a Calcium/Magnesium (together) supplement. Magnesium deficiency in particular can set off anxiety.

Try listening to relaxation tapes before bed. These can help give you techniques to deal with anxiety. Also they can be part of a coping routine, something which helps to ground you.

I find that the degree of anxiety reflects the degree of my general health. When I'm less healthy overall, I'm more prone to anxiety. When I'm more physically healthy, I'm much less prone to anxiety.

Do what you can to make your general life less stressful and high-strung. Let it be slower, enjoy things more, savor your life, take it easy, adjust your priorities and expectations, let the unsupportive and stressful parts of your life go their own way.

I recommend Edmund Bourne's books on anxiety.
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#6 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 03:30 PM
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Thanks Sphinxie. I like the tea ideas and those books. I'm still trying to gauge it with my moods and overall health. I said I keep a nightlight in the hallway - sometimes that's the best thing, sometimes it makes me more afraid to watch for moving shadows. If I forget to turn it on, sometimes that's the best thing, sometimes I wish I could turn it on, but I don't want to go into a dark hallway.
But, I do like the tea ideas, thank you!
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#7 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 11:37 PM
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i have this problem too, but only when i'm alone. right now we live in a top floor apartment so i feel pretty safe, but if i am alone on a first floor, FORGET IT!

two things that have helped me are to sleep with the phone near me and to sleep with bat or something heavy that i could easily knock an intruder out with. also, i hope this doesn't sound totally nuts, but i will map out an escape route in my brain.

it makes me feel happy to know that i'm not the only one who has this fear!
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#8 of 8 Old 06-21-2007, 11:56 PM
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LOL.. you guys are so sweet to your hubbies! My hubby is a LOUD snorer as well but you won't ever find me in our spare room! I just elbow and nudge or wake him up and tell him that he needs to move cuz he's snoring too loud!
I've lived with this same fear my whole life! I have to check, or more accurately, make my hubby check ALL windows and doors to ensure that they are locked. And he's so sweet he sometimes does it a couple times a night for me, even if he's in a dead sleep..
I finally did something the other night that totally helped me! I'm especially concerned about the door leading downstairs to the lowest floor. So I had a thought that I'd lean the broomstick up against the door, that way if anyone opened the door, it would smack against the hardwood really loud and wake me up! I'm a really, really light sleeper!
So knowing that I'd set a booby trap helped me sleep! Best of luck to all of you!
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