Anyone have an Explosive Child?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 07-08-2008, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm SO at the end of my rope and am ready to take my 10 YO DD in for therapy. She is destroying the family with this horrible explosive rage behavior. Holy crap, she is totally mental. I'm pregnant now and am afraid one of these days she will kick me in the stomach and kill the fetus. I wish I were joking.

Anyone have experience with this kind of beastly behavior?? It goes way beyond just being a spoiled brat, and enters the realm of extreme rage and violence, when just about ANYTHING does not go her way.....or even when she just happens to be awake and walking around the house.

Right now she is torturing her little sister. She is also grounded, and I'm taking her out of her favorite activitites. I cannot for the moment let her horrid behavior go unpunished. But I know it takes more than punishment---she needs help. Definitely therapy and probably (gasp) medication. And this from me, when I won't even give the kids so much as a Tylenol, we don't vax, etc. it is scary to think of pouring drugs into a growing brain....but scarier still to live with a little nightmare who damages property and harms people. I mean, it's bad enough that if there were a place I could drop her off for a couple of months, I would probably do it. Let them treat her and send her home repaired. But I know it has to involve everyone. But OMG I am SO SICK of dealing with this disgusting, spoiled, and totally mental behavior. It is part spolied rotten behavior (typical firstborn, and NOT enough limits and boundaries), and partly I think a really messed up brain. Whatever it is, she is UNFIT to live with.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

AND I am super stressed bacause our mental health coverage is CRAP. And psychiatrists around here start at like $300 an hour. Only half is covered by insurance, and sometimes less than half. OMG what will we do?
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#2 of 9 Old 07-08-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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Have you read the book "The Explosive Child"? It is really good and very helpful.

I can't write more at the moment, but I wanted to suggest the book.

Hugs to you. I know what you are going through.
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#3 of 9 Old 07-09-2008, 12:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've read it (twice) but have not found that applying the stuff has decreased her frigging outbursts. It is dreadful.

And no, it is not dietary. Just in case anyone was thinking that. Been there done that, too.
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#4 of 9 Old 07-10-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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I just got the 'diagnosis' from our son's new psychologist (since he was very mush the same way as your dd is, maybe on a milder scale but he's also only 5 1/2). I'm guessing this didn't develop overnight. My son is apparently dealing with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (fancy way of saying deliberate disobediance though I don't much like the term 'disobedient' anyway), some mild ADD and some aspects of (gasp) childhood-onset bipolar disorder. He can thank me for the bipolar, it runs in my family and I haven't escaped its wrath. I knew from a young age that I was 'weird' and I always felt out of sorts. I ASKED my parents to get into therapy and they always said I didn't need it, I was fine. That changed when I developed an eating disorder. Suddenly I'm in therapy, in and out of hospitals, diagnoses flying at me left and right.

Take your daughter to a psychologist for a diagnostic evaluation. Not cheap (we spent roughly $500 for three appointments) but necessary. I can guarantee she's just as happy with her behavior as you are.

I understand the fear of pouring medications down your daughter's throat. I am the same way. Sometimes they're necessary and sometimes there's dietary changes that can be made. I know you said you tried them and I totally believe you. For me, I know that a high-fat diet helps me stay more even-keel and the same goes for my son. Have you heard of the Feingold Diet? It has helped my son stay level enough to be a bit more rational (though he is still prone to terrible rages). Pain in the rear? Yes, most definitely. Worth it? Yes, most definitely.

If you think your kid needs help, get your kid help. I am writing a book about my own bipolar issues and see that the more I look into my past the further back I see where I could have been helped. My parents were ashamed of professional psychiatric help and I believe this is why they just shoved me into the world the moment I turned 18 instead of getting me help when I asked for it at 10 and again at 12.

I'm not saying your dd is bipolar. I don't know her or what she's going through. But it would be a good idea to get her evaluated and then when you have a better idea of what it is she's dealing with, by all means, take her to a therapist. She may need someone to talk to privately that ISN'T mom or dad. Best of luck to you.
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#5 of 9 Old 07-11-2008, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dad and aunts were bipolar and committed suicide. My brother is bipolar. I escaped it, thank goodness. Maybe she didn't?
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#6 of 9 Old 07-11-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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My ds1 (6) is so explosive. I will look into that book. He wouldn't get out of bed this morning for over an hour while he yelled and sceamed every kind of obscenity you can imagine. When I came in his room he would throw things at me. The other night he destroyed his bedroom, kicked, punched, etc. me. He gets a look on his face that scares me. It's complete defiance. But I also sense there's depression in there.

It's good to read this thread and just know that people do take their kids to get diagnosis of behavioural issues.

Sorry I don't have any advice, just
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#7 of 9 Old 07-11-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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I agree with much of what has been posted, I am an explosive child grown up - once I was off all the allergy meds (drowsy) The explosive me came out. I didn't get appropriate help until I was 31!!! And, unfortunately it has done some irreversible damage. I have worked very hard to regain some ground, but I am still disabled. I showed symptoms as early as 12 of bipolar disorder. It turns out, I am also borderline personality. I feel the way you do about drugs. This is part of why it took so long to get what I needed. I tried homeopathy, hair analysis, all kinds of supplements, reiki, etc. If I hand the funds I think I could have achieved much healing with a combo of these modalities, but alas, can't keep a job = not much money. I was sure it was hormones for so long, and I finally went to a doc who tried everything I asked, including trying to get oral progesterone for me and I still 'failed' the treatment ( It didn't have the desired result and it made my breasts so sore!) I finally accepted that medication was something I had to try. I went through absolute hell but I am finally feeling functional. Please do get evaluations and testing, it is well worth it. Then you will have info to research and you can make an educated decision about what will help her the most.

Heather, mama to Harriet, Crispin, in with Tom and 2
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#8 of 9 Old 07-16-2008, 08:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freestyler View Post
My dad and aunts were bipolar and committed suicide. My brother is bipolar. I escaped it, thank goodness. Maybe she didn't?
BINGO.

Absolutely bring this up to a mental health professional. Do be prepared to read yourself to death. My sister can not get a offical dx of bi-polar on her step children their mom is bi-polar and not in the picture. She has a doc treating the kids w bi-polar meds, but the dx is unoffical. It is extremely hard to dx in children, they cycle differently in adults. She has a boy who cycles in seconds and minutes and a girl who cycles more bi-montly.

The rages might be cyclical, start writing it down from now until you get to an appt.

I took a child to a mental health professional for similar type behaviors. The ins limits their testing, 10 hours of testing yielded he is a sweet child with no malic tendencies with a possible language comprehension delay.: No therapy, no help, "give it time". Already did the diet thing too.

The world of mental health is exasperating. Just be prepared to fight it all the way.

HUGS -- yeah, I get the danger feeling!
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#9 of 9 Old 07-16-2008, 10:24 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freestyler View Post
My dad and aunts were bipolar and committed suicide. My brother is bipolar. I escaped it, thank goodness. Maybe she didn't?
Bipolar is highly genetic. My grandfather had it, my mother has it, I have it and my DS has bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. Please get her seen by a medical professional.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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