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#481 of 634 Old 01-04-2010, 11:42 AM
 
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Hey ladies I haven't checked in for awhile. I was doing good on AD for about 2 months but now I feel like I'm back to where I was. This is a hard time of the year anyway for me because I think I suffer from SAD too. I feel so defective and helpless lately. Add the holidays and family issues I feel like I want to just run away. My period ended yesterday. I was miserable the first few days before I started and now I'm just plain depressed. I am going to make myself get on the treadmill today and start eating good. I feel so only. I feel bad for my family. Sometimes my husband drives me crazy for no reason. It's nothing he does its just me My son who is 9 years old caught me just sobbing in my room. How do you explain this to children? I am sooooo over this shit. I want to be normal, I want to have a sound mind and body.
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#482 of 634 Old 01-05-2010, 01:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry you are having a hard time mamas, I know your pain...Don't forget it will pass and your families love you and that we are *All* flawed human beings

The feelings towards your DH's remind me of the internal family systems model and the part of the protector as it is called comes out to protect a vulnerable part of a person and I wonder if during this very sensitive time if there may be things triggered by your partners that you may not realize and that your protector may come in and get angry at the one stirring up the vulnerable feelings or exile as it is called in IFS.... I've posted about myself being triggered by my DP....the IFS and AD's have both been very very helpful in my journey.

blessings

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#483 of 634 Old 01-11-2010, 05:51 AM
 
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I'm sorry you are having a hard time mamas, I know your pain...Don't forget it will pass and your families love you and that we are *All* flawed human beings

The feelings towards your DH's remind me of the internal family systems model and the part of the protector as it is called comes out to protect a vulnerable part of a person and I wonder if during this very sensitive time if there may be things triggered by your partners that you may not realize and that your protector may come in and get angry at the one stirring up the vulnerable feelings or exile as it is called in IFS.... I've posted about myself being triggered by my DP....the IFS and AD's have both been very very helpful in my journey.

blessings
Hi there Mystic. Your thoughts sound very interesting and is something I can relate to. Do you care to elaborate - please....

Much love,
Anne
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#484 of 634 Old 01-11-2010, 07:44 PM
 
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#485 of 634 Old 01-16-2010, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hey mamas,

here is a web page which explains the IFS model and the different types of parts.

http://www.wisdomresources.net/IFS.html

when we are in relationship these parts come out and interact with each other and being in an intimate relationship can very much be a catalyst for triggering these parts and giving you a chance for healing...

I highly recommend a therapist that is experienced in this as well as knows the work of John Gottman. We are on our 3rd therapist and we are finally really making some real progress.

blessings

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#486 of 634 Old 02-03-2010, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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how are you doing?

Surfacing & Danish Mom, did my last post help you get more info on the Internal Family Systems approach?

Still on the AD and it is working great for me. Still have ups and downs esp around ovulation but it is mild comparatively.

DP likes to joke that I have "lost my touch"....I feel good that he is saying this : )

Hawaii was beautiful, I was just pre ovulation when the trip began so we had to work out some kinks, it helped bring some stuff out in both of us and brought us closer...I think when "you" are in a grounded place with yourself you can use those times of the month as a stepping stone for your growth.

hope all is well for you all

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#487 of 634 Old 02-09-2010, 01:56 PM
 
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how are you doing?

Surfacing & Danish Mom, did my last post help you get more info on the Internal Family Systems approach?

Still on the AD and it is working great for me. Still have ups and downs esp around ovulation but it is mild comparatively.

DP likes to joke that I have "lost my touch"....I feel good that he is saying this : )

Hawaii was beautiful, I was just pre ovulation when the trip began so we had to work out some kinks, it helped bring some stuff out in both of us and brought us closer...I think when "you" are in a grounded place with yourself you can use those times of the month as a stepping stone for your growth.

hope all is well for you all

Hi Mystic. I'm on 40 mg fontex and doing really really well in terms of PMDD. No weight gain on fontex as compared to cipralex. No sexual side effects either. I also take wellbutrin to reduce fontex side effects.

Relationship wise I'm doing ok. There is a lot of learning and growing on both sides. Loved the article. Makes so much sense so thanks for posting. Sorry about the short paragraphs - I got another herniated disc in my neck and the pain is insane. Take care mamas.
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#488 of 634 Old 02-09-2010, 02:48 PM
 
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Ugh, I'm back. I was on sarafem days 14-28 for a while but it makes me so drowsy and kind of zombie like for those two weeks and honestly it only helped a little bit. So I am trying a month off of it and it's not that much different. It makes me feel a little hopeless. I've tried so many things and yet here I am still suffering these high ups and low downs. The only thing that helped much at all was going sugar free....but that is sooooooooo hard for me. I'm feeling today

Tara - Mother to Curtis 12/04 and Clark 11/07
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#489 of 634 Old 02-09-2010, 02:56 PM
 
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Taradactyl3 - Hugs.

I would take it every day. The drowsiness should go away after 2-3 weeks. My second and third cycle on prozac was much better than the first. Good luck.
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#490 of 634 Old 02-09-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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Prob is it was only written for me to take it 2 weeks a month. I guess I could ask my MW to up it....I don't know.

Tara - Mother to Curtis 12/04 and Clark 11/07
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#491 of 634 Old 02-10-2010, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tara, it can take time to adjust to a med...you can find the right combination, and for your body to process it, also maybe you do need it all month long.

Anne,

sorry your in pain!

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#492 of 634 Old 02-17-2010, 02:00 PM
 
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For a long time I've suspected that I might have PMDD. It's time that I get some help so that I can function,for myself and my family. I'm in NYC,does anyone have any recommendations for Dr's?

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#493 of 634 Old 02-18-2010, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi Jannah, welcome,

I personally went with a Certified Nurse Practitioner....

first off, I wanted a womyn

second....I didn't want an MD...

also, a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner could be helpful as well

I'd recommend going to the tribal area for your state and posting there for rec's

~~~

an update about me:

things are going wonderfully in my life...I'm still doing a bit of experimenting with my med dose here and there...they are working great for me...

i still have a small storm during ovulation to contend with so of course life is not perfect....

but things are soooo good and I've been able to grow so much, like insanely much the past few months....I am pinching myself....

it is my personal journey of growth along with the help of the meds that has led me to where I am and I'm feeling like a beautiful colorful swallow tail butterfly bursting out of her cacoon!

blessings mamas

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#494 of 634 Old 02-18-2010, 02:10 PM
 
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glad to see i am not the only one who still has problems during her cycle. things are so much improved i really can't complain though.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#495 of 634 Old 02-18-2010, 07:59 PM
 
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That is so great to hear Mystic~Mama. If you reread your earlier posts and compare this one to how much you were struggling, the difference is very noticable. So glad for you.

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#496 of 634 Old 02-19-2010, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That is so great to hear Mystic~Mama. If you reread your earlier posts and compare this one to how much you were struggling, the difference is very noticable. So glad for you.

hey mama....yes, I can remember the struggles I posted about and there is a very noticeable change with me, my counselor could see it just looking at me...

i hit a bump in the rode and that is just bound to happen

I'm reaching deep dark dusty corners within and that can really really hurt sometimes... I do feel a more grounded strength and an ability to get up and keep on going on more than I did before

DP still triggers me, that doesn't just go away...but how I respond is changing although it is challenging right now with our current circumstances.......DP is on the other side of the planet doing some wonderful conservation work.....which is great but it also messes with my abandonment issues and I just have to dig in, feel the pain and get on with the healing.........and for those of you reading...just know,,,,I had an extremely colorful pallette of colors for DP and I's last chat.....you fall and get upset and get back up and "just keep goin on.......take every knock as a boost and every stumbling block as a stepping stone................"

thank the goddess for my dear friends!

blessings

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#497 of 634 Old 02-19-2010, 03:14 PM
 
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hey MM, check out "journey of the heart." i think it will resonate with where you are right now.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#498 of 634 Old 02-20-2010, 03:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hey thanks umami! I got myself a copy....blessings

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#499 of 634 Old 02-24-2010, 08:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well, even though Fluoxetine is helpful I am going to change meds to see about stopping the weight gain side effect...I cannot even believe what the scale reads, ugh

I am gaining muscle and feeling a lot stronger, working out ect... but the weight is not coming off at all and I know I am doing great with my diet and exercise so something has got to change

I guess i need to decide between Paxil and Zoloft....also my sex drive has dropped, it would be so great to find something that increased my drive...helped me lose weight and feel happy at all once!!

I'm going to start taking Shatavari for my reproductive system, that could help my libido and the ovarian tenderness I get...

any thoughts on the med switch would be WONDERFUL!!

thx mamas

love and light

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#500 of 634 Old 02-24-2010, 10:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so I'm thinking Zoloft, after doing some reading....

I have an appt for friday! : )

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#501 of 634 Old 02-25-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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Keep us posted. I hope it works for you.

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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#502 of 634 Old 02-26-2010, 03:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hey MM, check out "journey of the heart." i think it will resonate with where you are right now.
I started reading it today, you were so right, I LOVE it!!! thank you for sharing that with me, it is amazingly in line with my journey...I look forward to my partner reading it as well!

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#503 of 634 Old 02-26-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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it's a great book, i love it.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#504 of 634 Old 02-26-2010, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I decided on Wellbutrin XL....after reading

hopefully I'll get increased libido and weight loss

we shall see...just glad I got this part done...it was anxiety producing for me making the choice to do this,,,I start tomorrow morning on it...

which mama is it that is taking Fluox and Wellbutrin? Surfacing? would love to chat with you about that...

love and light

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#505 of 634 Old 02-28-2010, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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switching adding new meds sucks!

i'm not enjoying the funky nauseous feeling and I started second guessing that i am doing the right thing...

mamas taking Wellbutrin can we talk???

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#506 of 634 Old 02-28-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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Sorry I have been MIA a little lately with dh working the late shift and me working FT, coming home to do dinner, bath, kids to bed, etc. I have been asleep by 9 p.m. each night the last couple of weeks pretty much. 20 weeks PG so I think that contributes too. Sorry, I'm not keeping up with reading/posting very well.

Mystic~Mama, yes I am taking both Wellbutrin and Fluoxetine. As for side effects with going up and down -- yes, they suck. Only you can decide if it's worth it for you to stick it out. If you can hang in usually it just takes a little time and you feel better again. I don't remember nausea so much with adding Wellbutrin as crazy anger at times. It got better once my dosage stabilized. I needed to keep the fluox for anxiety control as I found Wellbutrin made me anxious a lot at the dose that was high enough for depression control.

Anyway... when I was having side effects it helped me to remind myself of where I was, and what was really happening. I felt afraid or whatever, but I reminded myself that I was safe, this will pass, it's just temporary, etc.

Is it the nausea alone that is uncomfortable?

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#507 of 634 Old 02-28-2010, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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surfacing so glad you wrote, wow, you are a busy mama!

i had a groggy dizzy slightly funky in the tummy feeling yesterday, better today.


I do have a lot of anxiety and the fluox does help with that a lot, I've been a lot more comfortable socially which I love...so I don't think I should stop it.

and I think I was up for a dosage increase as I was getting really anxious...it is not long till my moon and i'm feeling pretty good...

I want to be in control of my weight again and not have it up to a medication...did you have any experience with this?

Also I want my high libido back...

does this sound like a good approach to you?

my Nurse Practitioner I saw didn't know much and just left it up to me...actually I think I have read more about these meds than she has....

blessings

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#508 of 634 Old 02-28-2010, 11:52 PM
 
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Eeps! Not great to hear that the NP doesn't know what to do WRT dosage. !?!?!? Err, I'm on 250 mg/day Wellbutrin which is just right for me. I think the common therapeutic dose is in the 300-400 mg/day range. And the fluox --it was working well at first but then seemed to poop out on depression control. I had gone up to about 25 mg but that was too high for me (felt disengaged, like I was watching things from afar)... right now I'm on 15 mg/day maintenance. This is good.

Like you, I gained weight on fluoxetine. A good 30 lbs or so. I went on Weight Watchers for awhile which was very effective but after awhile I stopped. I definitely found it affected my sex drive and ability to orgasm. But I remember having come off fluox completely when I first started Wellbutrin and while I was able to have orgasms again with dh, I was COMPLETELY BITCHY!!! So on one hand he enjoyed that I was a kitten in the sack again but I was total hell to live with otherwise. So I just decided that it was more important for me to be "stable" for my family and children than for me to be orgasmic with dh. I do have to say that being pregnant has helped with the drive and sensation though! TMI? Sorry.

Wellbutrin is supposed to be great for not having sexual side effects for women. It may very well be the case, but I'm not totally sure because I still have fluox on board, which dampens it some.

It's not an easy answer. Sometimes I wonder how much of myself I'm giving up by being on these meds, but when I see how much better I am able to function in life, esp. in treating my family well, it's no contest.

Such a personal decision.

Given that we have such small children at home, both work FT, etc. (exhaustion!) we haven't exactly had the best sex life. So it's possible this could be working differently/better during the non-pregnant state when I am more "numb". I dunno. Sometimes I am just trying to put one foot infront of the other, and take it one day at a time. Yk?

Does your dh notice a difference with your sex drive? Does he have any comments?

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#509 of 634 Old 03-01-2010, 01:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oh yeah the drive has definitely slowed and DP notices...he misses it,,,get along is most important to him but our physical intimacy is also really important to us...

so, have you had any improvements in your drive since adding the wellbutrin?

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#510 of 634 Old 03-01-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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my DH is suffering too. he started on effexor, which kicked his ass and made him feel horrible. so he had to wean off it slowly using celexa. he's felt horrible for the last 3 weeks and now is feeling depressed again. i think we are done with meds for him. his nervous system is just too sensitive.

of course when he suffers we all do, since he isn't one to suffer in silence.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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