evaluating a play therapist--i like some things, irked by others - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-10-2008, 10:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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i had a 35 min chat with her, and i felt really good about her. but then DD came in for her first introductory 10 min. (initially the therapist said DD will be seen on the second appointment only, because there would be no time at the first as she wanted to talk to me first. and i said that if DD needed to meet her as well, obviously).

so DD (6) comes in, and the therapist turns on this fake "i'm talking to a kid" voice and persona. and i think, okay, maybe this is actually what kids like? maybe she's doing it on purpose?

but the voice wasn't the only thing. she was also firing in a rapid succession all the "correct" things one is supposed to say to "bond" with a child, only she wasn't bonding, because DD wasn't answering to any of her questions, and the therapist kept on going, rather than trying to give DD some time / space.

example: i see you are drawing. you are drawing really fast. wow, you are using such great colours! oh, you are pressing really hard. what are you drawing? will you tell me? can i guess? (all pretty fast, dd doesn't say anything and keeps on scribbling and making lines) oh, this is really fast? oh, you are taking more colours!

so basically she was rapidly commenting on every DD's action--i do get the technique. i do it myself. but her speed was way too fast, imo. and her voice was rather fake.

now, DD said she liked her, and that she'd love to play with her again.
the therapist was also very AP, which is somewhat rare, i think, and this is why we chose her.

yet, i can't rid of the feelign that she's simply not experienced with this age. she has no kids herself, and is pregnant now. that's another concern, actually--in 3-4 months she might take a full mat leave. her behaviour actually prompted me to ask whether she had experience with kids , and she said sure, yes, from 3 year old and up.

another possibility was that she was too nervous in front of me--i did say i had background in psychology, i read many books she read, and part of me thinks maybe she was trying to unsuccessfully show of? but that's not good either.

oh, and there was one thing that irked me--she kept saying "all this kids" in a bit of an overwhelmed tone, when i showed up with my baby in a sling, DD, and DS. DH stayed with DS in the waiting room, obviously. so the only place where she's seen "all these kids" was in the waiting room when we came in. and yet she said it as though i came in with a dozen, and right into her office.

should i try one more session or just cancel now? i'm thinking to cancel, but maybe someone with more experience things otherwise, and i should give her a chance?

thanks!
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Old 11-10-2008, 01:17 PM
 
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During your 35 min chat you said you really liked her. What did you like? Is it going to be possible for you to remain present in the room during the second session? I was thinking about the possibility she was sort of "showing you" her child relational "skills". Doesn't sound like she's highly experienced. Is she experienced with your daughter's diagnosis/ reason for seeking therapy?

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Old 11-11-2008, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mommydancer View Post
During your 35 min chat you said you really liked her. What did you like? Is it going to be possible for you to remain present in the room during the second session? I was thinking about the possibility she was sort of "showing you" her child relational "skills". Doesn't sound like she's highly experienced. Is she experienced with your daughter's diagnosis/ reason for seeking therapy?
hmmm....good questions...she seemed understanding / supportive of AP...but i think if i remain at sessions i'll get too annoyed with her. yes, i think she could've been showing off, but that's not a good sign. i think i'm better off reading some books myself and being more proactive in how i play with dd to address the issues. cheaper. and i don't need to show off

the more i think about it, the more certain i'm that i should call and cancel.
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