Dealing with judgment. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 11-16-2008, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
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This is more of a personal growth thing but since it deals specifically with mental health, I put it here instead.

I was wondering how you deal with people judging you based on your functioning as a mentally ill person.

Here is an example in my personal life:

My mom is coming to town.

She is going to wonder why I dont "just clean up my house." (Everyone wonders that probably.)

No one really understands my lack of housework. I haven't been through treatment for my illnesses (bi-polar/ADHD) yet, and my cleaning issues have been there since I was a little girl. I can remember being completely overwhelmed by my messy room and not knowing what to do. I am right now actually.

I just lack the skills to deal with my brain right now.

I am nervous about my mom coming to town because she is going to be horrified by my house. Its just not going to get completely clean by the time she gets here. (Even if it were, she has higher standards than me and would still be like "Why dont you just clean it up?!?!")

Like its that simple.

How do you deal with issues you havent tackled managing and people judging you like you are just "lazy.?"

I just dont want to feel upset by it, and I really dont want to retreat into "I must just be a good-for-nuttin lazy person." That is not a good place.
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#2 of 2 Old 11-17-2008, 01:09 AM
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I grew up with a mother who was depressed on and off, and I heard my dad and grandmother say she was lazy a lot. But it was depression, for sure, that kept her on the sofa reading romance novels and sleeping, withdrawing.

How do you deal with the judgement? I don't know. It's hard not to internalize it...... but understanding yourself and surrounding yourself with other people who won't judge you, who understand what it's like to be depressed helps.

I simply don't invite very judgemental people to my house. Or I just shrug off their comments. I know there are a lot of other people like me who at times have trouble staying on top of housework, etc.

Does your mother HAVE TO come to your house? Can you get a cleaning lady for a little bit?

Me + Dh = Dd1(9.5 yrs) + Dd2(7 yrs) and Ds(4.5 yrs)
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