We are supposed to be traveling for Christmas...WWYD? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 12-21-2008, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so I'm feeling torn. We're supposed to be flying to Pheonix (2 1/2 hour flight)to meet up with MIL and FIL and then driving to Palm Springs (4 hour drive)to stay in a hotel and visit SIL's family for Christmas.

The plan is to fly out early in the morning on WEdnsday, drive immediately to Palm Springs, drive back to Phoenix on Friday and then fly back home on Sunday.

However, DS just got discharged from the hospital this afternoon (has pneumonia). The doctor seemed to think that travel would be okay, as long as we did lots of hand washing and were able to keep up with his breathing treatments. And we don't get to see DH's family very often. Plus, the plane tickets have already been paid for and we've rearranged the reservations multiple times (weird work situation). I'd really like to see the ILs. However, I'm just concerned about cross-country travel with DS so soon after hospitalization. DH thinks we should go... he felt okay about what the doctor said. But I keep thinking about how exhausting air travel can be (even when your immune system isn't dealing with major infection), and about all the germies floating around airplanes and airports and hotels.

wwyd?

P.S. ILs paid for the plane tickets and hotel reservation

maybe we could plan to stay in Phoenix instead of Palm Springs. That would cut out the 4 hour drive, and the germy hotel room.

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#2 of 26 Old 12-21-2008, 09:59 PM
 
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If it were my baby who just got out of the hospital with pneumonia there is NO WAY I would take him out to an airport or fly with him. There are going to be so many germs floating around and his little immune system is so stressed out he will pick up EVERYTHING and the last thing you need is for him to catch something else.

I would be staying home and recouperating ( yes you too ) you need to keep healthy for him.

My vote is NO dont go...

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#3 of 26 Old 12-21-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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I would not go. Even if you've already changed your plane tickets, you can change your reservations again and visit another time. The changes in sleeping schedules/arrangements are going to put extra stress on your ds, plus all the germs floating around on the plane. What are you going to do if ds needs to go back to the hospital? Not worth it, imho.

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#4 of 26 Old 12-21-2008, 11:41 PM
 
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DD2 has had pneumonia a few times along with many other respiratory illnesses. I'm not an overly cautious person, meaning I do things that others wouldn't but I wouldn't go on this trip. After she has been discharged from the hospital, it has taken her a while to feel better. Between the flying, the driving, and the fact that it is a very short trip, if it was my child, I would think it was too much too soon.

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#5 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 12:04 AM
 
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I wouldn't go.

I'm not overly cautious, and I'm not an alarmist-type person. Case in point: we just came back from a verrrryyyy long road trip (drove through stormy weather and all that jazz). We all did fine, but we were fine to begin with. BUT if the babe had been sick, I would not have gone. It would just be too stressful and not worth it, in my opinion.
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#6 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 01:33 AM
 
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Nope, I'd definitely skip it. Your in-laws should understand why it's not a good time.

Carey
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#7 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 01:39 AM
 
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No way! DS just had pneumonia this November (right around his 7th birthday) and we postponed his birthday party- it was originally scheduled for about 5 days after he came home from the hospital, but we put it off another week.

This was for a party inside the house- not flying anywhere or staying in any hotel rooms- and I still felt it was too much for him to handle a few days out of the hospital. Plus he's 7, not an infant.

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#8 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 02:26 AM
 
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I have to agree with the pp. I would not go. I know you may feel obligated because the in-laws paid, but your DS's health is the most important thing.
I would see if there is anyway to rearrange again.
Sorry your little guy has been sick

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#9 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 08:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I really agree with everything that has been said here. I am very nervous about the idea of taking DS on this trip.

DH, however, thinks that I'm overreacting. And he really wants to go. We got in this big argument over it last night. He kept saying, "the doctors said he'd be okay to go. Why don't you believe them?" I told him that I don't always believe everything doctors say (i.e. circumcision is not harmful, pitocin induced labor and epidural is safe, you have to have your child vaxed according to the aap schedule, etc.). And I told him that it didn't make sense that the doctor would say to keep him out of daycare for a week, but that it's okay for him to go on a cross country trip three days after getting out of the hospital. His response, "so, you'll believe them about daycare, but not about taking the trip?"

Basically DH is VERY VERY disappointed at the idea of not going to see his family for Christmas, and he thinks we should go. And I would like to see them, too... I just don't want to jeopardize DS's health in the process.

I talked to MIL last night and where we're at now is that I'm going to talk to DS's doctor about it today, and we'll monitor DS over the next couple of days. I said that if he bounces back real quickly and is feeling good then I will be more inclined to feel like it's okay. But if he's still acting tired and kind of puny that we probably wouldn't make the trip. I feel like that's the most I can give right now in this situation. Basically, I'm saying, we'll see, but I'm not making any promises.

ETA

DH requested that I add that both the ER doctor on Friday night, and the on call ped who treated him said that they thought the trip would be okay and that he considers that a second opinion, and that if our doctor says he should be okay to go that that will be a third opinion.

REally, I'm just trying to be as fair to all parties as I can be.

mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
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#10 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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I totally understand the pressure you're under. My mil was weeping on the phone when we told her we weren't coming for Christmas (we felt dd was too young for air travel right now). But seriously, have you traveled much with your ds? It is really disruptive and tiring, even under the best circumstances. If you've traveled recently, you already have an idea how ds will cope with new surroundings, but if this is your first trip in a while, it's hard to know how your ds's sleep schedule will be affected. I'm not trying to be overly negative, but travel is a lot of stress for everyone, and it's hard to recover from illness when you're under a lot of stress. Good luck with your decision.

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#11 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 11:27 AM
 
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Will you be able to do lots of handwashing and keep up with his breathing treatments on the trip?
Did you ask specifically about flying or just about "traveling"?
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#12 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 12:10 PM
 
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can you bring his nubulizer on the plane? I would make sure if he did get worsee you let your DH KNOW he is in a boatload of trouble.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#13 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Will you be able to do lots of handwashing and keep up with his breathing treatments on the trip?
Did you ask specifically about flying or just about "traveling"?
yes, we did tell the doctor exactly what the plans were (flying and driving, and hotel)

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Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
can you bring his nubulizer on the plane? I would make sure if he did get worsee you let your DH KNOW he is in a boatload of trouble.
I'm sure if we show security DS's prescriptions, they'll have to let us take the nebulizer on board.

And yes, IF we go and if DS were to get worse, I'm sure DH knows he would be in some major trouble. However, I don't think there would be anything I could say or do to DH in that kind of situation that would make anything better...

All in all, my mama instinct says no, and unless DS's doctor can say something pretty damn convincing, then I don't think that instinct is gonna change, and I would have a really hard time forgiving myself if I gave in and then DS got worse.

Of course, DH thinks that I'm going to go into the appointment with the DR and voice my concerns in such a way as to sway the doctor's opinion in my favor. So I told DH that he should come to the appointment with me, however, he is swamped at work today and might not be able to come. I personally believe that the DR's at the hospital said it "should be okay" simply because they thought we were looking for permission... does that make sense? DH doesn't think it does, but oh well.

mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
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#14 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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I wouldn't go anywhere. I'd just stay home and snuggle my baby and feed him and make sure he got his breathing treatments. Traveling sick is no fun for anyone and pneumonia is serious!!!!!
Have a holiday at home with just your family and use those plane tickets for Easter.
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#15 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 03:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shanniesue2 View Post
I personally believe that the DR's at the hospital said it "should be okay" simply because they thought we were looking for permission... does that make sense? DH doesn't think it does, but oh well.
Yeah there's a big difference between "if you have to go, it probably won't hurt your kid, if you follow these precautions" and "there's no problems with traveling."

My inclination would be to have your dh go alone if at all possible. (Assuming, of course, that your doctor doesn't think traveling is 100% okay.)

ETA: I asked about flying because that's a situation that's notoriously bad for anyone's breathing, let alone a kid who needs treatments still.
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#16 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 03:30 PM
 
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I bet if you asked the doctors what they would do if it was their child, they would all say that they would stay home.

Yes, it might be "ok" to go on the trip right now, but your son needs better than ok. He needs to rest and heal, and the best way to do that is to stay home. Traveling for the holidays is total insanity and incredibly stressful, we've gotten stuck or rerouted, we've even had a a 4 hour flight turn into a 20-hour nightmare...I would not risk that AT ALL with a child that was recuperating from pneumonia and in need of nebulizer treatments. It would be one thing if you were flying during a non-holiday week, but with the high volume of travelers as well as the possibility of bad weather, why risk it?

If he's had steroid treatments and/or antibiotics for the pneumonia, his immune system is compromised anyway...do you really want to expose him to the germy, enclosed, recycled air in an airplane?
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#17 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If he's had steroid treatments and/or antibiotics for the pneumonia, his immune system is compromised anyway...do you really want to expose him to the germy, enclosed, recycled air in an airplane?
This is one of my chief concerns. Plus the fact that we are scheduled to stay at a hotel for several nights. It's just lots of germy environments to expose him to. I keep trying to explain this to DH, and he just keeps saying that the doctors said it should be okay.

I have an appointment with our family doc at 2:00, hopefully DH can come... and we'll see what the doc says... I'm hoping that Dr can convince DH that it's not a good idea.

mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
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#18 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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I would stay home with the LO and send DH on without us. And it wouldn't matter to me WHAT the doctors said. Pneumonia is serious and mama instincts trump travel plans, IMO. Listen to your gut.

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#19 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 04:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newclementine View Post
I wouldn't go anywhere. I'd just stay home and snuggle my baby and feed him and make sure he got his breathing treatments. Traveling sick is no fun for anyone and pneumonia is serious!!!!!
Have a holiday at home with just your family and use those plane tickets for Easter.

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#20 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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For starters, I would call the airline and make sure you can take the nebulizer on board along with the medication and know exactly what documentation you would need (if any).

I would also ask the dr what they think would be best for your child's recovery...travel or not.

For now, all you can do is funnell all your energy to your child's healing. Create the calm and peaceful environment he needs to fight those buggies and get back up to speed so you can all enjoy the holiday (wherever it may occur).

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#21 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The verdict from the doctor is that travel should be okay... maybe even a little better for him than staying here because the weather in Oklahoma over the next couple of days is supposed to be yucky and the weather/air in Phoenix and Palm Springs will be warmer and drier.

He said that the chances of getting sick again because of the weather/air here were probably higher than the chances of getting sick from the airplane.

mommy to Christopher 2/29/08
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#22 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shanniesue2 View Post
The verdict from the doctor is that travel should be okay... maybe even a little better for him than staying here because the weather in Oklahoma over the next couple of days is supposed to be yucky and the weather/air in Phoenix and Palm Springs will be warmer and drier.

He said that the chances of getting sick again because of the weather/air here were probably higher than the chances of getting sick from the airplane.
Dry air is awful for people with respiratory issues. It usually exacerbates coughs and bronchial irritation.

It's not like you're going to be out and about in Oklahoma, he's going to be resting and recuperating inside your warm, cozy house.

I am floored at your doctor's advice. It totally goes against common sense.

Good luck to you, and I hope your trip goes well and your DS recovers quickly. As a pp mentioned, definitely check to make sure with the airline that his meds and nebulizer would be allowed on the plane. Is it a battery operated or rechargeable unit? I would also locate ER's and hospitals at both of your destinations just in case.
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#23 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think that one reason the doctor okayed him to travel is that he is looking and acting really well. Very playful today, happy, and a good appetite... and the only outward sign of illness is a cough.

I'm still nervous about it, but it's a lot harder to argue with DH over it when 3 doctors have said it's okay to go. I'm still holding out final judgement until tomorrow. I want to see how DS is feeling/acting tomorrow. If he's even the slightest bit puny or off in any way, we won't go.

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#24 of 26 Old 12-22-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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Don't go.
Worse case scenario if you stay home is DH is pissed for a while. Yeah, it will suck, but he's an adult and will get over it. And the IL's, if they are decent people, will understand. They might be disappointed, but they will understand.

Worse case scenario if you go is ds gets worse, you will be in a new town, not with your normal ped and will have to go to the ER, possibly be admitted.

Of the two, I would take the first over the second in a heartbeat. I would not be able to forgive myself if my kid got sicker over holiday travel, especially having his immune system suppressed already.
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#25 of 26 Old 12-23-2008, 12:00 AM
 
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I would stay home.

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#26 of 26 Old 12-24-2008, 02:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shanniesue2 View Post

Basically DH is VERY VERY disappointed at the idea of not going to see his family for Christmas, and he thinks we should go. And I would like to see them, too... I just don't want to jeopardize DS's health in the process.
Let your husband go if he is so disappointed, and you stay home with the baby. No offense to him, but I would put my foot down. I know that drive from Phx to Palm Springs very well, and with the change in climate and the deserted stretch of highway you will be on, I would not chance it. Your babe's comfort is paramount, and as his mother, so is yours! It may be technically ok to take him, but if you are worried, then it is not ok, and that's it!!

Please stay home Mama, I can hear in your OP how worried you are. You need to be in your home environment loving on your LO. xxx

Wife to Hank , Mommy to Gabriella 6.5 yrs Anthony 28 monthsand 3 angels wait for me in Heaven Praying to be a Proverbs 31 woman!!
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