What have you learned since having your new(est) baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 06-08-2009, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On a serious note, I've learned that I am truly getting stronger and stronger as a person and learning more about myself as a mother and wife. And that the guilt I felt initially about replacing my ds1 with ds2 and mourning our special relationship never being the same has been lifted gradually... I love to watch them interact and learn to love each other. And that the heart really does make room to love another just as much, but also differently.

It also makes me laugh though...

I've learned that I can be covered in spit up, pee, and even sometimes poop for more then a few minutes without even being totally disgusted or having a need to change right away - there is sometimes just too much going on to care!

I've learned that my 2 month old sleeps easier and better than my 3 year old most nights.

I've learned that my 2 month old is mostly content with being an accessory all day.

I've learned that one minute I can feel like I am becoming much more patient and then the next minute completely lose all that patience with my 3 year old - especially if baby is fussing.

I've learned that I can sling baby and do almost anything else at the same time - eat, play wiffleball, take walks, stick fight, get ds1 dressed/tie shoes/carry him, whatever!!!

I've learned that for some reason I CANNOT nurse comfortably in a sling like I did with ds1. hmmm, still can't figure that one out....maybe they are just bigger? They are pretty huge! And so is he, which ds1 was not.

I've learned that its really not fun keeping on post partum weight, cellulite, stretch marks - I never experienced this with ds1, but I am now! For the first time in my life, I am seriously unhappy with my body - and knowing that only one of those things I can fix (weight) is discouraging and makes me realize I am not young and sexy anymore....how sad. I will come to terms with some of it eventually, but I am vowing to work hard to get back to a weight I am happier with and feel more "in shape".

Please share with me what you have learned...

Already!?!?! cold.gif  ~ Lori, doula, childbirth educator, wife to Jermaine 6/04, and mom to two happy and energetic boys - Tatum 6/06 and Keegan 3/09

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#2 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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Hi Lori,

Interesting topic.

For me things are a little different. DD (3 yrs old) has special needs and my mothering experience was radically different from almost day one. It has been a tough, tough road to watch other children reach and surpass milestones while my DD is still pretty much a baby developmentally.

Having Miles (3 mos old) has taught me more than words can say. I will say this. I feel like I am slowly healing from some of the pain from mothering a sn child. As much as I love my DD, it breaks my heart to see her sometimes. It hurts to see that she is so aloof from the world and there is very little I can do about it. Having a typical child (so far everything is pointing that way) is teaching me that mothering can be more than a "caregiving" experience. I am reclaiming some of the joy and innocence that was stolen from me.

And too, I feel I am a stronger person.


Mary:

[FONT="Tahoma"][B]Mary:::, mommy to Devon girl: 3.30.2006 and Smile Miles 2.24.2009, a funky little monkey!
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#3 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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I have learned just how important sleep was to me. I would hawk my wedding ring if it meant I could have an uninterrupted 8 hours!

Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

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#4 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 04:24 PM
 
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I have learned that a baby who is exclusively breastfed actually *can* sleep several hours at a stretch during the night! My first two children woke hourly to nurse, especially during the 0-3 month period of life. I assumed it was just because we co-slept and I nursed on demand. My newest, at 8 weeks old, is regularly sleeping 3-4 hours in a row and occasionally, even five! I am not parenting differently, to my knowledge.
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#5 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 04:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post
I have learned just how important sleep was to me. I would hawk my wedding ring if it meant I could have an uninterrupted 8 hours!
I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in 16 years. LOL

SANDRA, 41 year old VERY laid-back mama to VERY free range kids Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla (1)... four perfect NCB's! :::
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#6 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SandraS View Post
I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in 16 years. LOL

You just made my heart drop. All hope just went completly out the window......
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#7 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SandraS View Post
I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in 16 years. LOL
You made me cry!

Seriously though, I'm already plotting my sleepcation. Mother's day, 2010, DH is watching the boy and I'm renting myself a cabin for two days. I'll be bringing my foam mattress topper and some ambien! It's the only thing that's getting me through the -4 hours of sleep each day...

Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

"There are words for people like me, but I don't think there are very many."

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#8 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 10:12 PM
 
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I've learned:
  • The best part of my day is seeing that big, toothless smile on my daughter's face , and hearing her coo and babble with such a serious, grown-up look on her face.
  • You can make up songs about anything: spit-up, poop, pee, etc.
  • I have never valued "me" time more in my life. It's very rare - maybe a few minutes a day while DD is napping, but it's better than nothing.
  • I actually CAN get 8-10 hours of sleep a night with co-sleeping. Sure, it's usually not uninterrupted (have to latch her back on or change a diaper every once in awhile), but OMG do I feel more sane than when I was only sleeping 2-4 hours a night!
  • I'm amazed at how quickly she's growing. I am excited to see how she grows as she gets older, but I am also a little sad thinking that she will be a big girl before I know it.
  • I have to be really creative with entertaining my DD sometimes. If she's been fed, changed, and burped, I have to go back and forth between talking, singing, reading, walking, and playing (blowing raspberries, tickling, etc) with her. She gets bored pretty quickly for such a little one. At least her attention span is longer than when she was first born - now that she can see pretty well.

More to come...

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#9 of 11 Old 06-09-2009, 11:52 PM
 
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I've learned that the best parenting philosophy out there is ww (whatever works).
I've learned that it's necessary to let go of your ideals and expectations sometimes, when they don't provide a happy baby or sane mama.
I've learned that my heart has much more capacity to love than I ever dreamed.
I've learned to relax, and in doing so, have nurtured such a chill, laid back baby. I can see a huge difference in her when I'm stressed out or unsure about something.

I actually got out of the house last week for a few hours of "me" time and while out, realized that I had spit-up on my shoulder and drool spots on the front of my shirt....and didn't care at all.

: single mom extraordinaire, keeper of eew since 02/09
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#10 of 11 Old 06-10-2009, 01:39 PM
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I learned that the horrible pain and years of depression due to infertility were NOT me being a big baby and I DIDN'T need to "just get over it." Having DD is so much better than any dream I could ever imagined. Years of beating myself up because "I should count my blessings" and "some people just aren't meant to have kids" is vindicated! Women suffering through infertility need the same support we give someone with cancer but we often have to hide it and "pull it together."

I learned that I was born to be Aellyn's mother. I'm not afraid of every little decision because I feel a peace that this is what I was meant to do and that my internal wisdom will guide me.

I learned that I love my husband 100 times more now that I see him father our baby. /sigh

I learned that "yucky" is in the eye of the beholder. Spit up, poop, drool are damn cute when you love someone so much.
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#11 of 11 Old 06-10-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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Ive learned that other people lie about how much sleep the get. ;p
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