SOS! Exhausted Mom sinking.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 10-08-2009, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
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Hello Ladies and Gents...

Y'all on this board have been so helpful to me through the parenting of my first born and I want to start my plea for help with a big appreciative thank you.

I am seriously at a complete loss with my nine month old.

He's always been a challenge for me in that he's incredibly hard to read. When he was a newborn he was so loud and fussy I believed he was in pain and took him to innumerable doctors. He had tests for pyloric stenosis, ultrasounds etc...and it was discovered he was lactose intolerant. I didn't follow the advice to stop breastfeeding and instead took the advice of BTDT Moms on this board and changed my diet. He thrived and is still thriving. ( thank god)

I'm at a point now where I'm ready to start running the gauntlet again. He used to sleep well and now he's up almost every twenty minutes. He doesn't want the breast and yells at me (not crying so much as hollering) He rolls about in our bed, trying to get comfortable...his poor little bum in the air, tossing and turning. I've tried water, advil, rocking him, singing to him and eventually he goes down. Sometimes for three hours sometimes for another twenty minute. Seriously...he's exhausted and so am I.

During the day he's a generally smiling boy, but like the night time, he goes through periods where absolutely nothing makes him happy. I wear him almost constantly. I've noticed some exzema on his elbow and a red ring around his little bum this morning.Food allergies? Teething? He's got two teeth but the rest of his gums are swollen. Is it developmental? Separation anxiety?? GOOD GOD I HAVE NO IDEA!!

I despair that he's just unhappy and I'm doing something wrong. I spend my time running between his beautiful hollering face and my fireball three year old and seriously, I don't know if I have anything left. My mom helps out and so does my husband but in the dead of night/afternoon it's just li'l ol' me...holding it together.

Long, frantic post aside. (sorry) Has anyone had this experience before?? Did your little ones survive and become at peace at some point?? I just want him to feel relaxed and comfortable and at this point, I'm willing to do anything.

Sorry again for the rant.
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#2 of 6 Old 10-08-2009, 07:17 AM
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Oh mama!

I wrote an SOS post once, too. When DD was 8 1/2 months old, and I couldn't get her to sleep in the daytime, and nights were dificult too. I was desperate. But, you know what? It changed. There were a few really difficult weeks, and then it just slowly got better!

In the meantime I got support from mamas on Mothering, and friends IRL, as I reached out and asked for help. Mums in the groups we went to rallied around us, offering babysitting, and delivering cooked meals. And one friend leant me her Ergo, which turned out to be a life saver! I could get DD to sleep in it by listening to music and dancing around with her on my back.

By the time DD was 10-11 months I loved being a mama, and I still do!

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#3 of 6 Old 10-08-2009, 07:43 AM
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I just have hugs to offer and, like the pp said, this is hopefully a very temporary situation and resolves soon!

You are not doing anything wrong--you are being there for your kids and it sounds like you've been amazing! Maybe next time your mom or dh is around to help, you can use the chance to do something relaxing to recharge yourself?

Diana, homebirthing, homeschooling, homemaking wife and mother of two (plus one more coming this Spring)!
Wrap Your Baby Comfy, versatile baby carriers and lots of wrap instruction.
Preparing to move our family of five into a motorhome and live on the road fulltime at Free Range Dreams.
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#4 of 6 Old 10-08-2009, 06:12 PM
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if my memory is correct, i think a big growth spurt is due around 9mos. could be that.
whatever it is, i hope your LO finds some comfort soon, and you do too!!

keep us updated!

SAHM (32)  Married to a bearded hunk (28) , DS  11/00, DD  06/09, two  in 2013,the final piece to our puzzle   is due 12/14
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#5 of 6 Old 10-08-2009, 07:34 PM
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Have you ever tried chiropractic care for your lo? It's really helped all three of my kids. Also, you were so smart to follow your intuition about he dairy allergy and bfing. What is your gut telling you? How does he like a warm bath and a long, loving massage? How about music? Have you tried any Bach Flower Remedies? Hang in there, mama. Things do change!

Me : living with and loving papa and the kids: Dd1 8/97 , dd2 8/04 and my sweet baby ds 5/09 : :
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#6 of 6 Old 10-09-2009, 01:42 AM
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The first thing I would try is gripe water, that was a life-saver for us, DD was as you describe, every day all day, from about 3 weeks on. She was not lactose intolerant, she was, and still is, allergic to garlic. Do you know how hard it is to find food with any flavour besides salt that doesn't contain garlic? She had eczema as well but it took longer for me to pinpoint that to milk (I eat a LOT of dairy and it was really hard to cut it out!) It sounds like there is still an allergy/intolerance that you haven't addressed. The red bum could be allergies, teething or even worms? (got a cat?)

And as someone who has been there done that with the screaming baby for hours with no support, please, continue to be aware of when you're at your breaking point. It is better to leave your LO crying in his crib for 10 minutes while you sit on the front steps to calm down than for you to do something you'll regret to him. That's hard to say, harder to read probably, but it is a reality unfortunately. Does your DH know that those long stretches of crying in the night are so hard for you? Make sure he knows and I bet he'll take a turn with your little guy on those really rough nights. I can remember feeling guilty about waking DH to take DD because I knew he needed to sleep, but him losing a few hours of sleep was the better of two evils.

It gets better, soon he'll be old enough to tell you what is bothering him and will still keep you up all night... I'm not sure which is more frustrating!

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
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