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"Crying it out is good for baby's lungs"?????!!!

2K views 21 replies 16 participants last post by  zaftigmama 
#1 ·
OK, I am sooooo against letting my babies "cry it out," especially under 6 months old... But i am also very lucky, i have had two babies that don't really cry much at all...

I have been having an issue with my baby not taking a bottle, so i have a friend, (who first of all never breast-fed a baby and is the opposite type of parent as me in EVERY sense) say to a friend of mine that I should "force Chloe to take the bottle, let her scream it out, not breastfeed her, she will live, and screaming is good for baby's lungs"

This is obviously perposterous to me, but i would like to show her some written information about how crying it out is not good for babies, especially under 6 months old. Incidentally, She never breastfed, believes in letting her babies cry without picking them up, is against co-sleeping, and really the opposite of attachment parents...

Does anyone know of any links, or articles i could print out that discuss how crying it out is in fact not good for babies???

 
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#4 ·
my baby girl's pediatrician said "it's okay for them to cry sometimes..it helps develop their lungs" but..he's older and i dont listen to him...she gets so mad when i take her there and she has to get weighed and checked up lol ... has my attitude towards docs i guess... in her ultrasound we caught her flipping the bird... sometimes i wish i could just stop taking her when she's perfectly healthy but my husband probably wouldnt be thrilled with that idea...he wants reassurance i guess
 
#5 ·
I want to just clarify that i understand that babies generally cry, but i am talking here about how I personally wouldn't just "let her cry" when i know she is hungry or wants to be held... There are times when Chloe will fuss a bit when i must put her down to assist my other kid for instance but that is different... she doesnt really ever scream and cry, but if she did, i'd drop everything and pick her up...

I am sure there are some babies out there that scream and cry all the time, and maybe those mothers get tired and i can see that they may just let them cry for a bit longer than i would... but i think that doctors made that up about it being good for their lungs to re-asssure mothers that crying doesn't hurt the baby. I just think it is neglectful to stick a young baby in a crib and let them cry when you know they are hungry or needing to be held.
 
#8 ·
Are you trying to give the baby a bottle for occasional use such as returning to work or going out to dinner? Or are you weaning from the breast to the bottle?

It might be easier to leave the room and have someone else try to give the bottle.

I get good mileage out of my patented stare, blink, wait, blink again and then say "why".
 
#9 ·
The only person I ever heard advocate this was dh's 90-year-old Grandma. I didn't mind her telling me that I should let ds cry for the good of his lungs because she's old and frail, she felt good to be able to offer some advice, and because she's of the generation that was routinely told this by doctors. Of course I had no intention of taking her advice to heart!
 
#10 ·
Thanks everyone for the info...

Victorian i am not weaning, just for the occasional night out... but if that's not an option, so be it! I have tried to not be home for the feeding, but that didn't work either.

Today, i gave her a bottle of cold prune/apple juice, which she took, so maybe she is having some teething issues already and maybe that's the reason she's rejecting the bottle in the first place, i will try cold breastmilk tomorrow.

I'll try to find my mothering from this past issue, i lent it out and didn't have a chance to read it completely yet...Thanks!!
 
#15 ·
My MIL gave me the "crying is good for the lungs" line too. I think it came from the Dr Spock book that was popular in the 70s. Here are some other of her "jewels":

- Formula is healthier than breastmilk
- Infants (less than a month old) need water
- Rice cereal in the bottle helps babies sleep through the night
- Babies want their own beds
- Holding a baby too much spoils them

Of course, this is the same woman that my 7 month old Sophia bursts into tears at the very sight of. MIL's answer to that? We should leave Sophia with her overnight and after she stops crying she will have "learned" that Grandma is okay.


And this woman thinks she will EVER babysit???
 
#16 ·
sophia's mom - You are too funny! But Every single thing you listed here is what my friend says all the time... And when i sent her a link to the Dr. Sears website, do you know what she said?
"I am not a fan of Dr. Sears, he supports attachment parenting, which i'm tottally against, we believe in letting our babies cry and are against co-sleeping" She actually admitted that? I'd be too embarrassed!! She is VERY cold towards her kids and everyone actually!
 
#17 ·
Sorry to hear about your friend. I guess some people are not comfortable with physical and emotional closeness.

I have a friend (of 13 years) who lets her kids CIO (in their own room). She told me that she can't let a baby sleep in her room because they are "too loud" and she'll never get any sleep.
: I guess she would rather get up and go into the next room to get her baby several times a night when it's hungry.

She also doesn't like breastfeeding, so she gives up and formula feeds everytime (in her defense, she did pump for several months with her first). I had to listen to her 2nd baby scream on several occasions (over the phone) because the formula made his tummy hurt and it took her about 2-3 months to figure out what was wrong with him (she used to just say "that's it" and put him in his crib to scream by himself while she ignored him).

Now that I'm having my own, I have very little tolerance for that type of parenting. IMO, there is no excuse for it (right up there with not breastfeeding because it's "gross" or something equally foolish).

Oh well.
 
#18 ·
here's a fact...bedridden and elderly adults are often given breathing excericses and devices to blow to help keep their lungs clear by fully inhaling and exhaling more often...fluid can collect resulting in pneumonia if you're in bed too long. When I was on bedrest they had me do them. For normal babies it is not an issue at all.

So, tell her you hope when she's old and in a home they let her scream and cry plenty...she'll live longer, begging for someone to bring her a bedpan.
 
#20 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by mommymushbrain
Whenever I was told "crying is good for their lungs" my retort was "Should I give her a knife to play with? I heard bleeding is good for their veins too."

That usually shut them up.
OMG that is priceless! I'm going to have to remember that one.

I have heard all the same things from my relatives. Naturally they're preposterous and I have no intention of listening. I have passed that Harvard.edu link (the one that someone already mentioned) around and it at least shuts them up.

But I guess the bottom line is, you believe what you want to. Sad, because this woman's kids will be the ones that ultimately pay the price.


(psssttt... hi Shay!
)
 
#21 ·
I got a really nice paper when I went to see the LC at my peds office when my son was 3 days old. It had all the reasons a new born shouldn't cry, I wish I had a scanner so I could post it on here. It says for babies in the first few days of life.

"The Effects of Infant Crying During the First Few Days of Life:
-Increased in blood pressure
-Intracranial pressure increases
-Poor Oxygenated blood flows back into the systemic circulation rather than the lungs
-Large fluctuation in blood flow occur
*increasing cerebral blood volume
*decreasing cerebral oxygenation
*a fluctuating pattern of cerebral blood flow is associated with intracranial hemorrhage

The effects of Infant Separation During the First Few Days of Life:
-More than 10 times more cryuing and startling than infants with stayed with their mothers
-Seperation delays stabilization of
*temperature
*pulse
*respirations
-Less sucking pressure when feeding
-Less maternal breast stimulation at night when prolactin levels are 10 times greater leads to depayed lactation

The lungs are as fully expanded at 30 minutes post birth as they are at 24 hours"

I think this is ment for just the first few days of life, but you could list a few of these things and maybe it will make her think? Anyways, it was very refreshing to reread this (almost 3 months later) and see the benefits of not letting my baby CIO in any form.

I second the letting someone else feed your baby, I am so very fortunate with my son. He hardly ever cries when he doesnt need something (granted that sometimes that something is me
) and he took to the breast / pacifier / bottle with very few problems. So maybe I am lucky and that is why I refuse to let my son cry but I still think it is horrible to go to someones house and have to listen to their child scream to be put to sleep. I actually start to leak when I hear other peoples children so it personaly effects me.


Anyways, stick with your parenting and hope that someday her kids can come to you when they need someone to give them some TLC.
 
#22 ·
Here are two things I got from Sears attachment parent website. Also, the introduction to The No Cry Sleep Solution does a good job explaining how terrible and confusing it feels to the baby who is left to cry.

I hate when people (read: my in-laws) say crying is good for babies. Please! Hope this helps:

Respond Promptly to your Baby's Cries

Every baby comes wired with an ability to signal his needs. Adults call this unique language the cry. Every mother develops the "wiring" necessary to receive her baby's signal. This is a special communication network designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the mother. Promptly responding to your baby's cries increases your sensitivity to your baby. Sensitivity helps develop your parental intuition.

Be Open to Trying Various Sleeping Arrangements
Beware of Detachment Parenting

This is a restrained style of parenting that warns parents against taking cues from their child. The advocates of detachment parenting preach: "Let the baby cry it out. He has to learn to sleep through the night." "Don't be so quick to pick your baby up. You're spoiling her. "Get your baby on a schedule. He's manipulating you." "Don't let your baby in your bed. You're creating a terrible habit. " Besides being full of negatives, this style of parenting also features quick and easy recipes for difficult problems. For example, when a baby repeatedly awakens during the night, detachment parenting advises, "Let him cry one hour the first night, forty-five minutes the second night and by the third night, he'll sleep through the night."

Parents, let me caution you. Difficult problems in child rearing do not have easy answers. Children are too valuable and their needs too important to be made victims of cheap, shallow advice. In my experience, parents who practice detachment parenting are at risk of losing their intuition and confidence and are less likely to achieve those two important goals of parenting, knowing their child and helping their child feel right
 
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