How long will this phase last? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-25-2010, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD (almost 8 months) has suddenly come down with a bad case of separation anxiety . She has to be able to see me when she's awake, and she has to be able to touch me when she's asleep. It's been about 2 weeks, but is getting noticeably worse. This morning she bawled when I got out of bed (she had been in a seemingly sound sleep, but the second her hand feel off my arm, she woke up).

I know this is just a phase...and one day I'll miss the time she spends sitting on my lap...but it would be nice to be able to shower, eat, or pee without an eruption of tears. I feel like a bad mommy for being frustrated, but I'm on my own with her for 12 hours a day, I'm working from home, trying to maintain the house (chores, bills, etc.) and I do 90% of the nighttime parenting because she wants to nurse every 2 hours. I need a break or I'm afraid I'll burn out.

How long can I expect her to be like this? She just figured out crawling, she can pull up, cruise a bit, and seems to be working on walking actually (she likes to try to stand on her own, and can balance for 3-5 seconds before falling). She's teething too. It's been a huge month developmentally. Does that play a role? When she can move more will she be less interested in me? Any one else in the same boat?

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#2 of 11 Old 01-25-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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I've no real advice except to say I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment so .

My ds2 is 10 months it started around 8 months and no end in sight! He has stopped napping on his own, he'll only sleep in the sling or in my arms he will only sleep for an hour at night without me and wakes every 2 hrs to nurse when I am there and I can't leave the room/walk towards the door/pee/shower/anything without him crying or bringing him with me. I'm also on my own at home with him and my very high needs 4yo for 12+ hrs a day sometimes 6 days a week and I do all the nighttime parenting for both kids. I'm exhausted

Me and the boys; Dh, ds1 10/05 and ds2 03/09
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#3 of 11 Old 01-25-2010, 12:54 PM
 
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All of the developmental stuff plays a huge role. She's figuring out that she can move herself away from you - and *gasp* you can move away from her! ACK! Scary!

It lasted around 2-3 weeks for my DDs, and once they figured out whatever physical thing they had been working on, it got better. We had it bad at crawling and again at walking with both girls.

It won't last forever, Mama!

You do sound like you have a LOT on your plate, though. You're right, you need some time to yourself or you'll burn out or get sick. Take care of yourself!
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#4 of 11 Old 01-25-2010, 05:54 PM
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It lasted about 3 weeks or a month for us... right before Christmas. I didn't get a shower alone as long as she was awake, and if I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, she'd wake up and scream. I cleared my schedule and resigned myself to spending all my time with my baby. I held her during my showers. I wore her to cook dinner. I spent a lot of time playing with her on the floor. I layed with her for every nap, sometimes getting up if she let go of my boob on her own. I cuddled her and laughed with her a lot, and we got through it.... and so will you!
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#5 of 11 Old 01-25-2010, 06:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dora - It's hard to be on your own for so many hours out of the week, particularly with another LO to care for! I hope you're able to get some time for you at least once during the week.

Betsy - It helps to know it may be tied directly to what she's learning to do. She can crawl fairly well, but I've noticed she never crawls out of my line of sight. Maybe I'll work on play peek-a-boo more often to emphasize that when I go I always come back!

JMJ - Your post reminded me that I have to let some things go. I hadn't considered just jumping in the bathtub with her!

Thank you guys for the encouragement.

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#6 of 11 Old 01-26-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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My 11 month old has come out of this phase. She still needs to be held a lot, but she'll play independently.

Mother to R- 2/09, & C- 5/11

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#7 of 11 Old 01-26-2010, 10:39 AM
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I can't say when it will end but I am right there with you. DD has decided that not even daddy is good enough for her anymore. I will hand her to him to so I can run to the bathroom and I hear her erupt in wails of concern at my sudden disappearance.
She will be 8 months soon and I know it is perfectly normal but is really frustrating when all she wants to do is climb mommy all day. Toys aren't even interesting to her!

Like everyone else said it's normal but it certainly doesn't make it more fun does it? Good luck, I keep telling myself the same thing you do, I will miss this when she is older!
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#8 of 11 Old 01-26-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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I think it lasted 1-2 months. It was a frustrating time but then it was over before I knew it.

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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#9 of 11 Old 01-26-2010, 09:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _betsy_ View Post
She's figuring out that she can move herself away from you - and *gasp* you can move away from her! ACK! Scary!
What a WONDERFUL way of putting the clingy phase. I hadn't really thought of it like that before. Such a great explanation!

Wife to DH geek.gif, mom to DS (4/09), and DD (8/11)fly-by-nursing2.gif, and crafty and hardworking in my own right!  In my parenting journey I've  delayedvax.gif, signcirc1.gif, familybed2.gif, h20homebirth.gif, andcd.gif.  To each family their own!!

 

 

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#10 of 11 Old 02-01-2010, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to update this thread in case others find it useful. It's the beginning of the 4th week and things are much better. She still prefers me, but I don't have to hold her for naps anymore and she's happy to play independently as long as we're in the same room. I walked into the kitchen this morning and instead of crying, she just followed me. So now I have a shadow - but at least I have use of both arms again!

WAHM to Ladybug (13 months) and Bumblebee
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#11 of 11 Old 02-01-2010, 07:35 PM
 
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holy moly thank goodness it's just a phase!!

we're going through the same thing over here (i'm alone with her days and most evenings, too, and wah p/t... and do all the nighttime parenting b/c she's an eating machine). dd is 6 months, though. she's usually so happy and content wherever and with whomever. but now, if i leave the room (even if daddy's holding her) she cries. she cries when someone looks at her. grandma came over yesterday (to give me a break) and she burst into tears every time she tried to engage her! so much for that deadline i had to sit with her the whole visit... if i tried to go in other room, she wailed. even when we're alone it's like that now. and she wants to be held all. the. time. it's exhausting.

but this too shall pass......... my mantra for 2010
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