10 month old discipline - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-05-2010, 07:26 PM - Thread Starter
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So my sweet ems is gianormous .... just turned 10 months and is weighing in over 10 months. Put an exuberant personality and he's turned into the play date bully. He is still at the touch and pull everything stage to see what happens and well.... he's like really really unusually strong. He can take down a 3 year old standing.

I'm sure this is going to get easier as he becomes more understanding of behavior but I'm struggling right now with what to do. Thankfully, the moms I do hang out are pretty awesome all around about it but I can't help but feel like I'm not doing what I need to be doing. Sometimes I simply take him away but of course he wants to interact with the other children. I do try distraction by introducing other toys, or talking directly but that works 50 50 as usually once he sees another child he's pretty intent in going over there to maul (lovingly of course to him!) the other child. I even tried one with one mom and child maybe having the other kid sit on ds as maybe he just needed the contact and then the other kid would be on top out of harms way.. actually wasn't that bad of an idea and worked probably best but really... can i ask other moms... if you just have your child sit on mine he'll get over his wanting to grab yours?

We are using words like gentle and no with him in certain situations but he's not there in really understanding them yet at all.
Any ideas appreciated!
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#2 of 4 Old 02-06-2010, 12:55 AM
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For ds it was mauling the dogs all. the. time. It is only really recently (he's 15 months now) that is really understanding & responding to my pleas of "gentle!". I just had to separate him from the dogs constantly or sit right with him & hold his hands & show him how to be gentle.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#3 of 4 Old 02-06-2010, 10:26 AM
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Discipline doesn't really work at that age because they don't really understand cause and effect. It's exhausting but constant removal and distraction is really the best way. You also might want to think about when in the day you're doing your play dates. Are there times of day when he's a little calmer?

Stacey teaching teens to read & write... Daddy plays ska, DD1 (7/05) loves trees & princesses, & DD2 (3/10) loves mommy-milk! Please get your kids tested for lead.
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#4 of 4 Old 02-06-2010, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
Discipline doesn't really work at that age because they don't really understand cause and effect. It's exhausting but constant removal and distraction is really the best way. You also might want to think about when in the day you're doing your play dates. Are there times of day when he's a little calmer?
What she said. Just remove him from the situation. The good news is that he is only ten months, so he still has a long time to socialize with other kids before schooling starts. Right now the socializing is just curiosity. He doesn;t really want to play WITH other children yet, just near them.

My ds was very "affectionate" and also very strong compared to his peers. He got bit by my niece on their first encounter (at one year) when he tried to hug/tackle her, and it certainly taught him a lesson with HER, but he was not able to transfer that lesson very well for years to come.

Now at almost five he is still very rough with bigger kids and adults, but he has learned to be gentle with littler people. I can't really discipline him for being himself, but I do remove him from the chance to hurt people if I see he is being too rough and the other kid or adult being accosted need help, which now at this age feels very much like punishment to him, but we just explain that he needs to calm down sometimes.

I have found that letting him do some physical activity (e.g. swimming, bike riding, or a romp in an indoor play gym) BEFORE social outings helps A LOT, so...maybe wrestling with him at home before you go to play group?

Rebekah - mom to Ben 03/05 and Emily 01/10, a peace educator, and a veg*n and wife to Jamie.
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