Things your mother says. - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 125 Old 02-28-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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My mother, bless her heart, is just so oblivious to our way of parenting that it is sometimes funny. When I told her I was pregnant she didn't ask "When are you due?" She said "When are you doing the c-section?" She was pretty mad when I told her there would be no scheduled section because "How will arrange travel?" !!!

Then she flew (from Ohio where she lives to Colorado where we live) the minute she heard I was in labor. She got to the birth center about 12 hours in to a 22 hour labor. I had told her before hand that if she started talking about epidurals/sections I was going to kick her out. So instead she kept asking my midwife all these ridiculous questions like:

"All the babies in our family have been 9+ pounds, will you just tell her (me) that you just can't push that big of a baby out?" (I later delivered a 9 lb 15 oz baby vaginally).

"Have you ever seen someone move around so much in labor? Not normal, right? She doesn't believe me that she should just lay down and save her strength." (I was laying down for a total of 2 contractions during my labor: lots of walking, swaying, squatting, etc.)

"Don't you see her EATING?!?!" <-- she was "tattling" on me because she didn't think I should be eating during labor.

And then after ds was born I started nursing him and my mom just VANISHED every time. The woman watched me dance around naked and push a baby out of my vagina and she just "can't handle" being in the same room as me when I breastfeed because it is "so unnatural!" Oi vey!

The woman has a lot to learn to say the least. (:

Alissa: married to dh since 05/2006 and mama to Solomon (08/2009) and Ezra (04/2012).

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#62 of 125 Old 02-28-2010, 11:44 AM
 
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my former hippie, homebirthin', breastfeedin' mother stands by her "when they can ask for it, it's over" theory in relation to BFing past 12 mos.

Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#63 of 125 Old 02-28-2010, 06:18 PM
 
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My mom is fantastic, totally supportive. Probably in part b/c I'm doing most of what she did, anyway; she breastfed, carried us, etc. Sometimes she worries about me carrying DS so much, because she's worried about me hurting my back--- "You're still MY baby, you know!" Apparently her doc found bone spurs on her shoulders that she can only attribute to intensive parenting. Anway she is a gem of a first-time grandma in that she pretty much never offers advice, and when she does, is very polite about it.

Ah, whatever. I just wrote a 4-inch-long rant about everything my MIL says, but heck. The other posts here remind me that it could be ever so much worse.

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

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#64 of 125 Old 03-01-2010, 01:04 AM
 
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I am assuming this is the venting thread....

My favorite lately has been,
"I don't know how you expect to get a baby interested in food if all you give him is vegetables."
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#65 of 125 Old 03-01-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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For me it is my MIL.

"Maybe it is time for you to stat giving her water in a bottle" (when DD was a newborn)

and how when she finds out about an AP thing that I am doing (not vaxing, homeschooling, home birthing) she asks DH "do you want me to talk to her" like she can talk some sense into me

but the worst one of all is "you know, it's ok to hit kids." which she said randomly one day when I pregnant with our first and we were talking about baby names.... weird!

Kimberly, Mama to DD (8/22/05) and DS-UC! (8/10/08)
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#66 of 125 Old 03-01-2010, 01:48 AM
 
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How about MIL:
"I don't hold cryng babies" when she was staying with us and DD was SO colicy and DH was working nights. I eventually phoned my mother to come and rescue me because I was in TEARS every night, trying to comfort a baby that could not be comforted!
"Sometimes they just need to cry" no mention of it being exercise, just that it was an emotional need. *sigh* I just smile and nod. Yes, sometimes, when momma is at the end of herr rope and can't take it any more it is safer for baby to cry, so yes, sometimes I guess they DO need to! If everyone held crying babies then maybe ..... well, you get my point I'm sure

Really, she's a nice lady and she lives with us now and tries so hard. She's so supportive of breastfeeding (to the point of refusing to feed my kids solids before a year ) and babywearing and all that stuff. But she still drives me around the bend.

MY mother is perfect of course and is supportive of our breastfeeding (she was a LLL attender when I was born) and babywearing and co-sleeping, etc. She has issues with our vax ideas and makes them known in a passive agressive way.

In the end, I just know that they could both be SO much worse!

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
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#67 of 125 Old 03-01-2010, 09:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tracysroberts View Post
I am assuming this is the venting thread....

My favorite lately has been,
"I don't know how you expect to get a baby interested in food if all you give him is vegetables."
That just made me LOL.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#68 of 125 Old 03-04-2010, 07:36 PM
 
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My mom when Sophia was tiny "you should breastfeed her for a long time". Now (DD is almost 10 months). "Wow you're still breastfeeding?".

Me: Sophia loves carrots
My mom: Dont give her too many carrots she'll turn yellow
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#69 of 125 Old 03-08-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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It was pretty windy on Valentine's Day when we had a family get-together at my grandmother's house. We all were sitting on the porch and I had my daughter in my lap, snuggled up against my chest. My mom got up and ran inside and came back out with DD's blanket. She handed it to me and told me to cover Emma's ears with it as "getting wind in her ears can cause colic".


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Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
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#70 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 01:56 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Well, my mother told me that when five o'clock came around I should put my feet up and drink a glass of wine while nursing my baby. "Millions of Frenchwomen can't be wrong," she said.

I figured if it worked for her back in the day (she nursed three kids) it was good enough for me.
French women don't generally nurse. Only about 10 percent are nursing beyond 6 weeks and I don't think that 10 percent drink wine every evening (few French do, anymore).

That being said, it takes 12 minutes for the alcohol to reach the bloodstream and most of baby's milk intake will have taken place by then.

Roman Goddess, mom to J (August 2004) and J (April 2009).    h20homebirth.gif signcirc1.gif
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#71 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 05:58 AM
 
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Oh man. I love threads like these.

I get flack from my step mother about breastfeeding. "Its a private act. No ones comfortable with you showing that much breast." She makes it sound like I'm ripping off my shirt. I asked my step-sister to please cover up her low cut shirt, she was showing too much and making me uncomfortable. My step mother left in a huff. *shrug*

"I'm sorry your mommy is so mean, I'll give you ice cream one day" said my mother when DS was 3 months old. Needless to say, she's never babysat, and never will. I won't leave my child with someone who won't support MY parenting choices.

I retort to most comments with "Just because you did it doesn't make it right."

While in labor, I chose my younger sister and MIL to be in the room (along with DH) and my mother said "Maybe I'll ask your sister to switch places with me" and I had to tell her "They didn't draw straws, mom. I chose her." But hey, I had to choose supportative people.

My ILs is amazing when it comes to supporting our decisions. They feeds him what we say he can eat, doesnt pester me about still breastfeeding, nothing. They babysit all the time.

Michelle, wife to Ken, momma to Noah
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#72 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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While in labor, I chose my younger sister and MIL to be in the room (along with DH) and my mother said "Maybe I'll ask your sister to switch places with me" and I had to tell her "They didn't draw straws, mom. I chose her."
Rotfl!

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#73 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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I am assuming this is the venting thread....

My favorite lately has been,
"I don't know how you expect to get a baby interested in food if all you give him is vegetables."
hilarious, haha. I wonder what they expect you to feed him/her?

My mom, who lives with us, tries her best not to meddle but still comes up with some great ones. I ended up having an epidural but I was very vocal when giving birth and they kind of "insisted" on it, and I guess because of that it makes the rest of my AP parenting invalid? Anyways these are some of my favorites.
Me: I need to start making and freezing some food for him so I'll have it ready when he starts.
Mom: You not going to feed him pre-jarred baby food? *shocked expression like I was an idiot*
me: no
mom: God, Carey. *sigh and shrug, with head in hands*

DS is being fussy all evening, I think because we took him out a lot, and I am not totally sure what to do so I try nursing him often and calming him, etc.
Mom: get that baby a bottle with some rice ceral in it. He'll calm down.
me: he's not hungry. If he were hungry he would be trying to eat when I nurse him.
mom: I'm just saying. I started you guys around this time (DS is 3 months when this happened)
A month later the rice cereal in a bottle thing continues... I generally tell her that since I can't mix cereal in my boobs, it's not even an option. She looks at me with the "you're being an idiot" look again.

My mom's friend Sue's comments:
"Put some sugar on that paci!"
"Put some gravy on that paci!"
"Put some pudding on that paci!"
"Give that baby a rice ceral bottle!"
"You want a popsicle for him?"
All when he is under 4 months, lol

My ILs:
"You want a bone to suck on?" to DS
"You want some eyeball?" to DS.
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#74 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 06:03 PM
 
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My ILs:
"You want a bone to suck on?" to DS
"You want some eyeball?" to DS.
are you serious?! that's definitely a new one for me...

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#75 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 06:45 PM
 
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my mom comes up with some great ones:

Mom is from the school of putting rice cereal in the bottle at 6wks (cutting the nipple) because that's what she did and we (my brother and I) turned out fine.
When my EBF DD was 3-5 months old, "When are you going to feed that baby?" Implying that I wasn't feeding her??
Now that she is 8 months and has been doing BLW for a couple of months, "Are you sure she should be eating all that?" DD eats all kinds of food now..carrots, zucchini, squash, broccoli, peas, green beans, potato, sweet potato, shredded chicken & pork, ground beef, pear, apple, banana, etc. and I offer her bites of whatever we are eating if it is "baby friendly". And last week, my mom shows up with about 20 jars of baby food level 1, no less....

My mom always asks me when I'm going to get DD on a "decent sleep schedule" DD sleeps from anywhere from midnight-2am through to 8-11am. That's about 8-10 hours usually! I'm not complainging Mom just thinks that DD should be in bed by 8pm and up at 6am...umm, that doesn't work with our schedule, thanks anyway.

I also hear the "You're still breastfeeding?" one alot. Yes mom, I am.

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#76 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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are you serious?! that's definitely a new one for me...
Yes, well... She's palauan, she eats whole fish- heads included- and I guess eyeballs are baby food over there, haha. At least she supports extended bfing.
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#77 of 125 Old 03-09-2010, 11:00 PM
 
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Yes, well... She's palauan, she eats whole fish- heads included- and I guess eyeballs are baby food over there, haha. At least she supports extended bfing.
My white-as-can-be Americam MIL once asked if she could give my nephew a chicken bone to suck on. My nephew was 7 months. At least she asked first, right?
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#78 of 125 Old 03-10-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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My white-as-can-be Americam MIL once asked if she could give my nephew a chicken bone to suck on. My nephew was 7 months. At least she asked first, right?
We give DS chicken bones to suck on from time to time. I just make sure it's free of choking hazards. he's not strong enough to break a legbone. He loves it. lol

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#79 of 125 Old 03-10-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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mom: God, Carey. *sigh and shrug, with head in hands*
Haha this is so my mom. She does this exactly over all kinds of stuff.... Non-circ, natural birth, the idea of BFing a toddler, etc.

DH is currently worked up over HFCS and GMOs in food. We are planning on planting a huge garden this year, and made some other food goals for the grocery store. We told my mom about it last night (we all live together!) and she did THIS EXACTLY, just insert our names LOL.

Then she was like, well if we cant have HFCS, what are we going to eat?

-sigh-

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#80 of 125 Old 03-12-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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Here is one my mom told me on the phone yesterday. Baby DD was crying, and I went to get her, and my mom was telling me the old "crying is good exercise for the lungs" and then the next one was, "make sure you let her cry sometimes; she needs to learn she has to wait her turn too, just like the other kids" Um, yeah, if she was a toddler throwing a fit because she did not get what she wanted, I could see your point, but for a 6 week old baby?? If you don't respond (at least talk to them) they eventually lose hope. Yeah, sometimes she does cry for a few minutes if she starts while I am in the middle of going to the restroom, driving, or helping an older sibling with something that I can't put down for a minute, but sorry, I am NOT leaving her to just cry to "wait her turn" at this age!

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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#81 of 125 Old 03-12-2010, 03:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday I told my mom that my back has been hurting, and I think it's because of holding/wearing DD so much. Of course, my mom's response was, "Well of course, you have to stop doing that!!"


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#82 of 125 Old 03-13-2010, 01:24 AM
 
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My mom is great! My MIL is alright (except for the part where she keeps asking me if I'm pregnant again -- DD is 10 months). But my husband's grandma? Drives me up the wall. She has some comment every 5 minutes, but she says them quietly enough that only I hear them. At first I tried to explain what was going on to her. At 3 weeks, she thought since DD kept wanting to nurse, maybe she wasn't getting enough. I explained that at 3 weeks she was due for a growth spurt.

But then I got tired of defending myself every 5 minutes, and decided to stop talking to her if that's all she had to say. I kept telling DH about her comments, but he never heard them! The last time we visited, *he* was the one defending our choices every 5 minutes! He was like, "OMG! Is that how she always is??" Yes.

At 7 months DD was munching on apples, and she said, "Oh, she'll be ready for solids pretty soon, won't she?" (Um, what are apples??)

She wanted to know why I hold DD so much, and suggested perhaps she was spoiled.

Overreacting when DD tries to stand up/walk and falls down on her (fluffy cloth-diapered) bum.

Wants to know if DD can eat some of her box mix strawberry cake. "No." "Really? Just a little?" ::happy voice::"Nope! Cake's not for babies!"

GAH! Shut up, woman!


Oh, and MIL says DH weaned himself at 6 months. That just makes me sad. She didn't know! No one told her about nursing strikes.

SAHM to Lucy energy.gif, born 4/26/2009. Etsy shop owner. sewmachine.gif  Lover of internet memes. geek.gif  Current and future unschooler.

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#83 of 125 Old 03-13-2010, 10:50 AM
 
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At 7 months DD was munching on apples, and she said, "Oh, she'll be ready for solids pretty soon, won't she?" (Um, what are apples??)

She wanted to know why I hold DD so much, and suggested perhaps she was spoiled.

Wants to know if DD can eat some of her box mix strawberry cake. "No." "Really? Just a little?" ::happy voice::"Nope! Cake's not for babies!"
1) Didn't you know it only counts as solids if it's from a jar?

2) I always answer this one with "Yep, he sure is"

3) We were at a friend's daughter's birthday and her grandmother walked up and asked DS (who was 5 months at the time) "Did Mommy give you some icing?" I just LOOKED at her and said, "he can't have dairy" And she laughed and said, "Aww, maybe next time."

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#84 of 125 Old 03-25-2010, 08:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Step-MIL "I can't hold her when you have her in that THING."

(it's a Pikkolo, by the way. And, no. You can't. That's part of the plan.)

Mama to Fenergy.gif(06/11/09) and baby boy C baby.gif (06/09/11) 

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#85 of 125 Old 03-25-2010, 11:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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from Step-MIL (currently visiting...ugh!)

"Well, (deep Southern accent) you stay home and don't have to work because your husband goes to work and brings home the bacon." (While this may be true, it was still weird to hear from her.)

and, when the subject came up (ugh) that DD doesn't STTN...

S-MIL- "Weeeelll...she'd sleep through the night if she were in her own room down the hall."

me- "Well, no, she'd still wake up, we just wouldn't *hear* her cry, which isn't the same thing." (an attempt to fight the good fight...)

S-MIL- "Well, you're just rewarding her for waking up, is all I'm saying."

I'll probably have more because she's staying until Saturday.

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#86 of 125 Old 03-26-2010, 08:41 AM
 
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Well, my FIL tried to tell me that I "have to let him cry sometimes" when DS was 3 WEEKS OLD!

But I also wanted to post something that my own mother says that I think is really great advice. In response to my worrying a while back about DS's bedtime routine (what if I'm making it so that he'll never go to sleep without me... what if... what if...) My mom told me not to worry, keep on doing whatever was getting both me and DS the most sleep and that

"Whatever you do now can be undone later if you want"

I love it because I felt like my mom was giving me the "permission" I was looking for. AND she's been totally supportive of us co-sleeping, even though she never did that (unless we were sick or scared from a nightmare).

Finally, she apologized to me for letting me cry it out when I was a baby.
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#87 of 125 Old 03-26-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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from Step-MIL (currently visiting...ugh!)

"Well, (deep Southern accent) you stay home and don't have to work because your husband goes to work and brings home the bacon." (While this may be true, it was still weird to hear from her.)
I had someone say this to me. My response: "No, I stay home because I breastfeed, use cloth diapers, clip coupons, cook from scratch, and keep us from having to pay for daycare." That irks the hell out of me. Yes, my husband goes out and works. But raising a baby and running a household full-time, on a very tight budget (we are not well-off), is work. The money I save through the aforementioned activities allows me to stay home as much as the money my husband brings home. As in, I bake all of our bread because it saves 3-5 bucks a week, for one example.



/rant, sorry

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#88 of 125 Old 03-26-2010, 11:12 AM
 
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We;re thinking about maybe putting DD1, now 3.5 in pre-K in the fall. There's a free program through our local school district. We're not decided, for a variety of reasons.

When I told my Mom we were thinking about it and had reserved her a spot just in case we decide to do it, she said "Wow, I didn't think she was that independent yet!"

Huh? You're constantly telling me how surprised you are that she's as independent as she is, since I nursed her for soooo long (19 months, she weaned when I was PG with DD2) and since I always just pick her up and since I never just let her cry, and...

What do ya know? Now, despite all of my parenting, she's grown "independent" to you. Whatever that means!
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#89 of 125 Old 03-27-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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"Where did the walker I bought you go?"



I lied and said it broke............

Dirt worshiping, creatress Mama to Rowan and Alden - home birth loving, no circ, no vax, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, cosleeping

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#90 of 125 Old 03-27-2010, 01:37 PM
 
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Utah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEastMomma View Post

"Whatever you do now can be undone later if you want"
I love this, your mom sounds awesome!

Mama to Xavian, born 11-24-09
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