May '09 Mamas - Feeling Lucky in March! - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 223 Old 03-25-2010, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Madalyn View Post
On the shoe topic...I wish we could find some. Everything I try his foot is too fat for. I've tried the knock off robeez at Target but they don't fit either. I guess we're sticking with socks for now lol.
Try Soft Star Shoes, you can email them exact measurements of his feet and they'll size the shoes to fit him. They're like Robeez but totally customizable. That's what I ended up doing with Liam because his feet were so wide and even XXW weren't wide enough.

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#182 of 223 Old 03-25-2010, 03:48 PM
 
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Katie- That's what I thought to. I have to check the lease, but it's in our bedroom and Sophia is napping so it's a forbidden zone.

Cheryllynn- I keep telling myself not to complain so much about the place where I live, because I feel language is so powerful and the things I say make me feel worse about it, but it's like a suburban ghetto where I live. Seriously the cops have come to my neighboors about 4 times over a drunk fight, yelling curse words and insanity. I feel bad because DP and I come from very different social backgrounds. I grew up in a rich people neighborhood in downtown Santo Domingo and when I complain about the people around us I kinda feel like a snob, but it has nothing to do with money. It's about having manners and being respectful of one another. I want to meet people and dont hear in the conversation "oh yeah when I was in jail", also I dont want people who think is ok to curse 20 times in front of kids or people who light a cig right in front of their child and people who are NOT racist. Im tired of people being rude to me and looking at me weird. I mean there is a few nice people around and I know everywhere we go there will be all kinds of people, but there's so many things that bother me. One day I searched for sex offenders and I was immensely suprised with the number there are in the area, in our old apt, a child molestor lived right next door and I always got a VERY weird vibe from him if you know what I mean and whenever dss would be like hello, I'd be let's go inside. I mean I know, they're are people too and again I was never disrespectful to him, but at the same time dont want any kid to be talking to a pedophile.. right now my biggest concern is to live in a SAFE and nice enviroment. And Mt. Airy is a little more urban, which I like, I like having things to do and places to go. Actually a mom from here talked to me about that place and said she used to live there and she misses it and I've been pushing to move there for awhile.

And the swim lessons sound fun. I want Sophia and I to do something like that, she loves water so much. If I were you I'd postpone it, because I dont know Im a little paranoid.

Shoes- Sophia has long, skinny feet just like her daddy and I.
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#183 of 223 Old 03-25-2010, 06:39 PM
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Hi mamas
I once again wasn't able to keep up with the thread (sigh) apologies because I don't know what everyone has been up to! As always I will try again for next month which is so soon anyway.
It's funny the last 2 posts were about shoes though. I just bought della some Robies soft soled shoes over the weekend. This after the woman working at striderite told me 1. Della has "really" fat little feet. All babies do thanks! And 2. that because she is cruising she can't wear soft soled shoes anymore and should be in "cruising sneakers" aka glorified sneakers with really hard soles. I rolled my eyes but she kept insisting DD should be in hard soled shoes and I should really get her out of the soft ones. This is totally contrary to everything I have read but you know the 16 year-old at striderite knows everything I was laughing by time I walked out of the store. I also bought Della the Stonz booties for next winter already because htey are so awesome!


I hope everyone is enjoying their first week of Spring.
I was in maine over the weekend JPI and it was sooo beautiful out. We spent all day outdoors. I know anyone in that area was lucky last weekend!
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#184 of 223 Old 03-25-2010, 10:51 PM
 
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Pottying--we got Luke a potty about a month ago because he kept peeing on the floor while I was rinsing out his CDs. He started peeing in there right away & then, DH got him to poop in there too. Now, he's backing off from the peeing (still does it about 50% of the time), but poops in there every morning. I don't know that this will necessary help with actual PLing, but I am SOOOO grateful for every poop that goes in the potty instead of a diaper (that I then have to rinse & wash)!

Cheryllyn--we took a water aerobics class this past winter and Luke loved being in the water. I think it was pretty similar to a beginners swim class. I hope you guys enjoy!

Loving life with DH DS1 (5/7/09) and DS2 (7/23/11)
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#185 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 02:34 AM
 
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Try Soft Star Shoes, you can email them exact measurements of his feet and they'll size the shoes to fit him. They're like Robeez but totally customizable. That's what I ended up doing with Liam because his feet were so wide and even XXW weren't wide enough.
I'll have to check those out. Ugh and I found out today I'm about to join your ranks. The AF has been wishy washing us about a deployment. Last we heard it was possibly June if at all. Now today DH comes in and says he's leaving in a few weeks. I can't believe how short of notice we got. I feel sick to my stomach but it's happened so fast I haven't even had enough time to process it and be sad yet. I had been so happy he was going to be home for Jonas's first birthday.

Madalyn military wife to Chris & proud momma to Jonas 5/17/09
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#186 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 10:14 AM
 
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I'll have to check those out. Ugh and I found out today I'm about to join your ranks. The AF has been wishy washing us about a deployment. Last we heard it was possibly June if at all. Now today DH comes in and says he's leaving in a few weeks. I can't believe how short of notice we got. I feel sick to my stomach but it's happened so fast I haven't even had enough time to process it and be sad yet. I had been so happy he was going to be home for Jonas's first birthday.
mama! Sorry to hear about the short notice, I think it's a shame when it doesn't give families enough time to prepare. I went on two deployments and we always knew months in advance... we'll be here to support you in any case!

~Erin~ totally in with Olivia! 5/31/09
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#187 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll have to check those out. Ugh and I found out today I'm about to join your ranks. The AF has been wishy washing us about a deployment. Last we heard it was possibly June if at all. Now today DH comes in and says he's leaving in a few weeks. I can't believe how short of notice we got. I feel sick to my stomach but it's happened so fast I haven't even had enough time to process it and be sad yet. I had been so happy he was going to be home for Jonas's first birthday.
I'm so sorry that they just sprung it on you. Can you say where he's going and how long for? I don't know much about AF deployments but would it be possible for him to take leave around his birthday? You can PM me if you want. I can't remember if you said your family was nearby, but do you have spouse support while he's gone? I'm pretty sure you've posted in the military mama's tribe before but please do join over there as there are several of us in the midst of deployment right now, it's nice to have others to relate to. I'm here if you need to talk about anything!

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#188 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 01:53 PM
 
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Madalyn - That's too bad it couldn't wait - any chance of moving the birthday party up?

Cheryl, mom to Olivia Grace (May 2009), Zackary James (Jun 2012)

both hypnobabies births

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#189 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 03:26 PM
 
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madalyn so sorry!


Haven't got to catch up on everything sincemy last post, just wanted to stop by and say Anna is taking 3-4 steps at a time now She's growing up and there's nothing I can do but watch, kind of sad to think she might be my last baby.


Highlights this week - Chopped off part of my finger, DD2 and Anna are both still trying to fight off this sickness, Found out I have a hyperthyroid and my cholesterol is high, DH has high BP and his cholesterol is high (but better than mine ), DD1&2 have been testing my patience all week and all in all it's been one of those weeks that is leaving my head spinning. What just happened??

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#190 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 03:39 PM
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OceansEve ouch!!! I hope it wasn't the kind that needs stitches? Maybe better if it is just a little chunk? I don't know how it would be better but maybe?
madalyn, I feel for all the military mamas here who have their S/Os have to go away for sometimes long periods of time!

I'm glad that there is a tribe for you mamas because I honestly can't even imagine what it must be like!

We are moving this weekend and I still have a ton of packing to do. Della has been so extremely clingy that it makes it really hard to get anything done and while the ring sling is great it is hard to carry her in it and pack (I haven't even tried a back carry with it yet)...
I just ordered my babyhawk though and I am literally babbling about it to DH every 10 minutes. I am so incredibly excited about it.

Now I must go pack more, every day we get closer to staying with DH's mom for a few months before the apartment in Maine is done, I feel a little bit worse about the decision to stay with her...Giving up so much independence and plus she drives me crazy...Ah MIL's I know I'm not the only one who feels that way!
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#191 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 04:09 PM
 
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OceansEve sounds like you've had a tough week!

LDavis - good luck packing and on the move! Olivia has been extra clingy lately too, not sure what's up with that She's super fussy but I think I can feel one tooth almost through and two others close behind, so that would explain that!

Anyone else have a "shoveler"? As in, she just shovels food bits into her mouth, sometimes chews them, sometimes just sucks on them and spits them out, and sometimes (this is where I feel concerned), she tries to swallow, kind of gags and then spits up a bunch! I have to put one or two pieces of food on her tray at once, let her deal with those, and then put a couple more down. Which is fine, though sometimes she stores them up in her cheeks anyway! I'm asking because I see lots of pictures on here of babies with a ton of food on their tray, and I think if I did that with Olivia, she would just shovel it all in! We do blw for the most part, she's not a fan of purees (likes yogurt though) and she loves to self-feed.

~Erin~ totally in with Olivia! 5/31/09
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#192 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 05:39 PM
 
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Thanks for all the support guys. *hugs*

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Originally Posted by KatieJD View Post
I'm so sorry that they just sprung it on you. Can you say where he's going and how long for? I don't know much about AF deployments but would it be possible for him to take leave around his birthday? You can PM me if you want. I can't remember if you said your family was nearby, but do you have spouse support while he's gone? I'm pretty sure you've posted in the military mama's tribe before but please do join over there as there are several of us in the midst of deployment right now, it's nice to have others to relate to. I'm here if you need to talk about anything!
I'll have to pop back into the military mama tribe. The deployment is 4 months so I know it's nothing compared to what other branches have to deal with so I almost feel bad for even complaining. I'm going to go on a for lack of better words 'extended vacation' back home and swap off staying with my parents and in laws. I don't have a single friend or even an acquaintance here so there's not much point in staying. I think in a way our families are excited they'll get to have Jonas for the entire summer. DH plans to be a lifer so I know this is only the beginning and at least Jonas is too young to really know right now. I just hate how they sprung it on us so fast! At least the sooner it starts the sooner it can get over with.



edit: j_p_i I do the same thing because Jonas stores it all up in his chubby cheeks too. Lol like the other night he had peas and I could only give him maybe 5 or 6 at a time.

Madalyn military wife to Chris & proud momma to Jonas 5/17/09
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#193 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Madalyn - It's hard no matter how long it is, don't feel guilty. So much pressure is put on us to repress the emotional difficulty of it and it isn't necessary. That's good that you'll have the support of your families, but it's also a good idea to stay in touch with military folks (even online) because we understand it better than most people and can give you pointers for getting through it. My FRG fell apart doing this deployment due to mismanagement so it's been nice to have the online support. You'll figure out a routine that works for you and I'm sure you'll be busy over the summer so that should help a lot, it will be over before you know it! As I always say, you don't get over it but you can learn to cope with it, use this as an opportunity to learn about all your wonderful strengths as a mother and wife

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#194 of 223 Old 03-26-2010, 08:50 PM
 
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I'm starting Jay Gordon night weaning tonight. Figured it was better to start on the weekend so that I don't have to worry about my husband missing sleep.


I know it's early, but she'll be a year old in a few weeks and I'm getting bigger and bigger and getting her to night wean and sleep better during the night is the first step to transitioning her out of the bed so that 1) my big pregnant butt can sleep comfortably, and 2) the new baby can co-sleep.

I think we're ready. So, wish me luck.


ETA: Random pics:

At the park, with my mom:
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9.../032610001.jpg
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9.../032610002.jpg

Passed out in the mei tai while I was washing dishes:
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h9.../032610005.jpg

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#195 of 223 Old 03-27-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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Kelly--good luck with the nightweaning. I hope it goes well and that she adjusts easily.

Madalyn--I'm glad you'll have the support of your family, but I'm sorry you got such little notice.

Luke has a cold and now, I have it too. He's only been sick a couple of times, but I'm always amazed by how well he takes it...I'm a lot grumpier right now than he is. That's what happened last time, too.

Loving life with DH DS1 (5/7/09) and DS2 (7/23/11)
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#196 of 223 Old 03-27-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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Luke has a cold and now, I have it too. He's only been sick a couple of times, but I'm always amazed by how well he takes it...I'm a lot grumpier right now than he is. That's what happened last time, too.
Eeek... Em's only been sick twice, and it's been a while... *knock on wood* Hope ya'll feel better.




Well, we made it through the first night pretty well actually... she only woke once and was up for 45 minutes... nursed her for a few minutes and then popped her off when she started looking drowsy, THAT was not a popular action. What ended up working was doing what I used to do when she had evening colic as a little baby, just snuggling belly-to-belly with me laying on my back, and softly going "shhhhhhhhhhh" with every exhale. That settled her down after a bit and then she just dropped back off to sleep. Yay!


Hoping it goes as well tonight.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#197 of 223 Old 03-27-2010, 09:45 PM
 
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Madalyn, Im sorry to hear about your situation. I cant imagine how it must feel! I like the idea of maybe having a early bday party, it might not be the same, but it'd be nice to celebrate, take pics, enjoy his last days before his deployment.

Kelly- I love the pictures of the park and OMG I love her outfit! SO CUTE! How is your pregnancy going BTW? Im excited for you, but at the same time I remember how TIRED I was in the early months and how crazy and active Sophia is now and well I just feel like hugging you.

Today we went to DP's Aunt bday party. She turned 50 and it was a surprise party at a restaurant. I had fun with DP, dss and Sophia. I was scared because I thought she was going to be grumpy, she fell asleep last night like at 6:30 and woke up in the early morning hours. I got her back to sleep and woke up at 7:30AM, we left around 11-12 so I thought she was going to be tired and cranky. She took a nap on the ride there, DP's sister came to get us, her baby Mckenzie is so cute. She's 14 months and just started walking recently, it's fun to see Sophia and her interact because they seem to be developmentally the same. They were playing crawling, but Kenzie was grumpy. I tried to tell my SIL because she was saying that she walks sometimes, but falls a lot and she was wearing sneakers, just like a regular kid sneaker and I told her that might not be helping, but she didnt really listened.

Sophia did great, taking her out in the Boba has been fabolous, she just is more happier. She still hates my MIL, so does Kenzie and so did dss when he was little lol, I dont know what's up, but then again my MIL is not the most pleasant person. We were all so hungry and since they were paying I felt weird about ordering stuff, she was talking to the waitress right next to me ordering a million and one appetizers and they all had meat. I was asking if she could order something without meat for DP, DD and I (she knows we dont eat meat) she completely ignored me and ordered like 15 meat appetizers and then when they all came and I asked is there anything without meat, she just said no. She didnt say no, but you can order something. Later on we all ordered food though, DD had some celery, broccoli, carrots, a french frie given my MIL some gratin potatoes and salmon(so far she's given her whipped cream, a french frie and a popsicle argh!). We were out for like 5 hours and she even napped while we were out. Im happy she was asleep when they sliced the cake or that would've been another episode. DP was very helpful with DD, without me asking him, taking her outside to play and getting her food/water. It was nice.
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#198 of 223 Old 03-27-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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Oh another great one by my MIL, Mackenzie and Sophia would always cry whenever she would come near. But overall they were ok, happy and smiling and playing with people, specially Sophia. So she says "I never went anywhere with any of my kids until they were 5, it's too hard, they get all whacked out".
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#199 of 223 Old 03-28-2010, 07:32 AM
 
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Kelly - good luck with the nightweaning. I'm planning on doing Jay Gordon when Darcy turns 1, so I'll be interested in hearing how things go for you. I'm not pregnant, so I really don't have any excuse, but I just can't handle the sleep deprivation for much longer. And I feel like I owe it to my nearly-3 yr old to have some energy for him during the day.

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#200 of 223 Old 03-28-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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What (or who?) is Jay Gordon? Details please
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#201 of 223 Old 03-28-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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Kelly - good luck with the nightweaning. I'm planning on doing Jay Gordon when Darcy turns 1, so I'll be interested in hearing how things go for you. I'm not pregnant, so I really don't have any excuse, but I just can't handle the sleep deprivation for much longer. And I feel like I owe it to my nearly-3 yr old to have some energy for him during the day.
Blessed Mom, he should show up if you Google him. He's a ped who's "into" the family bed and APing, basically.
THANK YOU for telling me that he has a night weaning protocol. I'm going to try it with DS2, I think. I am SO tired between waking up for DS3 AND waking up for DS2. I seriously feel insane from lack of sleep some days.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#202 of 223 Old 03-28-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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Kelly- I love the pictures of the park and OMG I love her outfit! SO CUTE! How is your pregnancy going BTW? Im excited for you, but at the same time I remember how TIRED I was in the early months and how crazy and active Sophia is now and well I just feel like hugging you.
I'm 15 weeks today and a lot of that icky first-trimester stuff is going away, so I'm starting to feel better... bring on that second tri and springtime!

Quote:
We were all so hungry and since they were paying I felt weird about ordering stuff, she was talking to the waitress right next to me ordering a million and one appetizers and they all had meat. I was asking if she could order something without meat for DP, DD and I (she knows we dont eat meat) she completely ignored me and ordered like 15 meat appetizers and then when they all came and I asked is there anything without meat, she just said no. She didnt say no, but you can order something.
Oh man, sounds like you have a real winner there.

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What (or who?) is Jay Gordon? Details please
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html




Last night was amazingly good. Like too good to be true. She woke up twice, each time we nursed for a minute, then broke off and I rubbed her back a little and put her belly-to-belly on top of me, and she went right back to sleep with little to no fussing. I feel like this has to be a fluke.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#203 of 223 Old 03-28-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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Kelly--glad it's going so well!

So I went out to a friend's house last night and got back at about 11:30. Luke is usually asleep by 8:30, so of course, I expected him to be in bed. Instead, I walked in the door to find him sitting with DH...watching Terminator

Apparently, his cold was keeping him up, so we finally got him to sleep at about 1 in the morning, and then he was up nursing every hour...luckily, I slept through most of it. Here's hoping he's feeling better tonight.

Loving life with DH DS1 (5/7/09) and DS2 (7/23/11)
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#204 of 223 Old 03-29-2010, 11:18 AM
 
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OceanEve - hope your finger is doing better - that sounds like it hurts.

It's going to be a great week here weather-wise and I'm stuck at work. DH has today and tomorrow off. It's sunny and 60 / 70 degrees out which is extremely nice for Minnesota. Although we could still get a snowstorm for the next few weeKs. I think the latest snow storm we've had is April 15th or so.

I went through Olivia's clothes and pulled out all the ones that were too small. It's so sad to see these cute outfits being packed away. However, I pulled out the tub of 12 - 18 month clothes and she has a stack of adorable outfits. A few pairs of 9 month pants were mis-placed with the 12-18 month clothes and that's too bad. We needed pants two months ago. Now I think they're too small.

Olivia crawling is just the cutest thing! If we want to show off her crawling all we have to do is pull out a cell phone. She is on all fours and making a beeline right for that phone. Nothing else gets her to move that fast. She is spending more time standing without holding on to anything. Yesterday she stood and clapped. It was sooo cute! We posted that video on fb. I might put it on YouTube so my non fb friends can see it. I wish I knew how to edit those videos so I can cut off the first part and/or the last part.

Olivia is officially weaned too. She doesn't seem to miss the breast at all. I'm still torn, missing b/f but excited to get healthier again. I need to start taking herbs and cleansing protocols that I could not while b/f. We also have been extra-blessed with donor milk, so I know she'll be on the good stuff until she is one. YEAH!

and we're dealing with colds, cough, runny noses too. It's heard for Olivia to sleep sometimes. We put her in the car seat for naps. She is able to sleep there for about two hours.

Cheryl, mom to Olivia Grace (May 2009), Zackary James (Jun 2012)

both hypnobabies births

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#205 of 223 Old 03-29-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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Just jumping in, its hard to keep up with this thread!

Samara is almost 10.5 mos old now and she is taking steps between furniture and yesterday she took one step to me without falling but the next step she was back down on her bottom. SHe has been standing unassisted more and more and like you said Cheryl, will stand and clap. SOooo cute!

The big thing is that the baby weight for me is finally starting to drop! I spent like 30 minutes in my closet today just trying on my old jeans and running back and forth to the mirror to confirm that they did in fact fit. They are still a little tighter than I would normally wear them but Its not too far off for them fitting. The thing is I finally got AF and it seems like when I did all of a sudden my appetite went back to pre nursing and pre pregnancy. Its crazy! Samara is still nursing quite a bit and still at night so I was surprised to get AF back but if my weight going back down is a side effect Im all for it! Has this happened to anyone else? I thought I just held onto weight til I was done nursing because of dd1 but I realized with her that AF came back about 6 mos before she weaned, so maybe what I thought was weight loss because of weaning was weight loss because of AF. I don't know, its crazy but Im happy to feel back to my normal self.

I used Dr. Jaygordon to nightwean dd1 and it worked out great. A few rough nights, but she was ready. I think she was closer to a year and a half though... but I can't remember anymore.

Shelley, married to my wonderful DH and mama to DD (11) DD (5) and  DD (2)
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#206 of 223 Old 03-29-2010, 11:54 AM
 
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OceansEve Sorry for the finger. Hope it heals quickly. Please feel free to join us over in The Thyroid Thread. I know we have some people with hyperthyroidism over there. Have you been tested for antibodies? Are you supplementing iodine?
Marius has been taking 2-3 steps now intermittently. He's so cute. He likes to "beat up on" his big brothers- he grabs them by the hair and then tries to bite them. That's not so cute (well, everything he does is cute, but we discourage that because it won't be cute for long ). He also likes books. I'm so in love with him.

eta: I've lost about 15 lbs in the last 3 months, despite my thyroid levels being messed up. I've been doing The Bottoms Up workout twice a week.
And still no AF here.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#207 of 223 Old 03-29-2010, 06:43 PM
 
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Help!
Someone stole my baby and replaced him with a toddler!!

Okay, not quite... but close!!

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#208 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 10:38 AM
 
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Jacqueline! I've been feeling that way too! It's exciting and scary at the same time, like where did the time go?! But it's so much fun too

Something not so fun - Olivia has both eye teeth coming in... One might be through and the other right behind it. She has been super clingy and fussy the past few days, poor girl.

~Erin~ totally in with Olivia! 5/31/09
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#209 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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I know what you mean Jacqueline. Has your baby started throwing tantrums? Sophia gets mad and throws herself back and goes "a buuuu buu buuu buu" when she's mad because she wants something, like go get grown up books or eat dvds. I usually try to distract her with being silly, a song, a dance, let's jump and play, swing, spin.

These past days have been rough! I think I've told you before that I had a toothache where I had a root canal done, but I was ok, it hurts, but Im gonna wait until Im done nursing or whatever. Well on Sat night it started REALLY hurting, it's the last molar on my bottom right and it's now lose and it hurts so much. I got an appt on Thursday, it's the closest they could squeeze me in, but on top of that both Sophia and I have a cold and she's so congested. Yesterday she couldnt nurse and it even made me cry, because she would try but couldnt. I made another thread about that. And everytime I sneeze I hurt my tooth and then last night I got the worse cramps and then got my period and Im like "nooooo, what is with this pain cocktail?". It wouldnt be so bad if DD wasnt sick too, but that makes everything so much more difficult.

Also I feel kinda resentful towards DP. He had a meeting with dss's mom last night she was saying she needs more financial help with dss. It's not that I dont want him to help, but I just think what he agreed to, to avoid conflict is not fair. Her alone makes more money than DP, her husband works and they live at her husband's dad house and pay no rent. He now has agreed to pay 150$, that's what daycare would be if he'd go everyday, but I usually watch him 2-3 days a week and will continue to do so. She will still claim him on her taxes every year. I know she does spend a lot of money on dss (because she buys him a million and one things, he probably owns more things than DP, DD and I combined) and I think DP should definitely provide financial help like he has always done and continue to be very involved with dss but not the point that we'll have no money for anything, but he doesnt make that much money every month
. We were already always struggling to get by and Im not sure about what we're gonna do now. I guess Ill have to start looking for a job real soon. And maybe if we do move and start saving money on rent and bills. I dont know, I've been like scrambling for money to get DD clothes for the past weeks, to buy her used clothes on ebay. I dont know, I've been on the other side too. My dad always paid for our everything, but my dad is rich and I know what he gave us didnt affect his lifestyle at all, on the contrary it was probably very little and he had nothing to do with us. There was no going there every weekend or every other weekend. Maybe on a holiday he'll invite us or something, but that was it. DP is now practically giving a third of his paycheck every month. Maybe that is what people spend on child support? But since it's not a legal arragement I dont think we can even claim that as an expense every month to get more help from the goverment or can we?
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#210 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraji View Post

Also I feel kinda resentful towards DP. He had a meeting with dss's mom last night she was saying she needs more financial help with dss. It's not that I dont want him to help, but I just think what he agreed to, to avoid conflict is not fair. Her alone makes more money than DP, her husband works and they live at her husband's dad house and pay no rent. He now has agreed to pay 150$, that's what daycare would be if he'd go everyday, but I usually watch him 2-3 days a week and will continue to do so. She will still claim him on her taxes every year. I know she does spend a lot of money on dss (because she buys him a million and one things, he probably owns more things than DP, DD and I combined) and I think DP should definitely provide financial help like he has always done and continue to be very involved with dss but not the point that we'll have no money for anything, but he doesnt make that much money every month
. We were already always struggling to get by and Im not sure about what we're gonna do now. I guess Ill have to start looking for a job real soon. And maybe if we do move and start saving money on rent and bills. I dont know, I've been like scrambling for money to get DD clothes for the past weeks, to buy her used clothes on ebay. I dont know, I've been on the other side too. My dad always paid for our everything, but my dad is rich and I know what he gave us didnt affect his lifestyle at all, on the contrary it was probably very little and he had nothing to do with us. There was no going there every weekend or every other weekend. Maybe on a holiday he'll invite us or something, but that was it. DP is now practically giving a third of his paycheck every month. Maybe that is what people spend on child support? But since it's not a legal arragement I dont think we can even claim that as an expense every month to get more help from the goverment or can we?
I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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