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#211 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kelly1101 View Post
I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.
That's exactly what I think. Well dss' mom claims she's losing her job, but she just started her maternity leave, so I dont know what that's about.
And we do receive WIC and Medicaid Insurance.

Im gonna make a thread there and see what they tell me.
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#212 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 01:09 PM
 
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I agree with Kelly. It needs to be a legal arrangement. And yes, she could go for back-pay if it's not legally arranged and recorded.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#213 of 223 Old 03-30-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1101 View Post
I would make it a legal arrangement. If he's paying that much, it should DEFINITELY be counted. I mean, if it's not legally arranged, she could always get mad and go a legal route and claim she wants back child support for all the years he wasn't "legally" paying it, or something whack like that. I can't imagine that legally he would pay any more than he already is, especially because her husband's income would be taken into account.

I'm not an expert because I've never been in a relationship with kids on the other side, and my dad never paid child support, but I would definitely be wary of this situation.

Maybe make a thread on this in Blended Parenting or something, to get some more knowledgable advice, but it seems off to me.


ETA: Especially if you have Sophia on WIC or Medicaid Insurance, or any thing like that where you are counting income and expenses, I know it would be REALLY helpful to be able to list the child support he is paying out.
I was going to say the same thing here. I would definitely make it legal, and then perhaps a more fair arrangement could be made. It seems like you and DP have an amicable relationship with DSS's mom, but you just never know. My DH has kids from a prior marriage. They lived with him for several years. At one point his ex got angry and filed for back child support. He couldn't prove that the kids didn't live with him, and it took him YEARS to pay off the thousands of dollars... we actually just finished paying it a few months ago.

Not that this is something that would happen to anyone else, just a bit of experience (maybe you could share with your DP if he doesn't think it's necessary) to please be careful.

Good luck with everything, sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now Auraji!

~Erin~ totally in with Olivia! 5/31/09
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#214 of 223 Old 03-31-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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If I remember right, I think we used a modified Jay Gordon plan when I night-weaned DD when she was 2. We would give her a sippy of water, and DH would walk with her. Lots of screaming for a few nights, but DH pretty much took over night-time parenting for her at that point, which was great. It was nice getting full-nights of sleep for a while, before DS came along!

Crazy how our babies seem to be turning into toddlers overnight!

DS has been saying a few more words, although not nearly as verbal as DD was at this age. He says "ah-doo" for Thank You, and calls his sister Jubilee "oo-wee". He has been practicing his walking skills, but he still only walks about 5 or 6 steps before he falls down on his little bum.

DS is super cranky, but I think it's more due to me being gone a lot lately for some cross-training at work than to teething or anything. I'm really looking forward to going back to very PT at work like I was before. Unless of course DH's work keeps going downhill, in which case I may have no choice other than to look for FT work. I'm really hoping his work will pick up again this summer.

Auraji, have you posted on Frugality and Finances about the child support thing? I have found a lot of good advice on various issues over there...

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
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#215 of 223 Old 03-31-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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We're also dealing with child support issues. I think the laws depend on the state.
In Minnesota, child support for one child is 25% of an adjusted figure - so you can take out 401k and some other expenses, then support is 25% of that number.
It does not depend on how many days spent where.
If step parent is remarried the new spouse's income is NOT included in anything. It is just the bio mom & dad's income.
Arguing over who gets to claim child on taxes isn't pretty. Technically it is the parent who provides > 50% of cost, but determining costs can be highly subjective, especially if one parent lives in a very expensive house.

No tantrums here yet. At least not from DD.

No teeth either ... I am still in love with her toothless grin. I must take more pictures before teeth start appearing. (no toothless big smile smiley).

Jacqueline - great job on the weight loss!

DD is doing more standing & cruising. No independent steps yet. She still has a cold and stuffy nose. We use essential oils and chinese medicine and changed it up yesterday. Here's hoping the new oils and tincture will clear out this cold.

Cheryl, mom to Olivia Grace (May 2009), Zackary James (Jun 2012)

both hypnobabies births

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#216 of 223 Old 03-31-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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Luke still has his cold too. The only symptom he has is a runny nose.

And he can throw quite the tantrum...so not looking forward to the toddler years! I mean, how do they even know to let their body hang like a limp noodle when they're throwing a fit???

Auraji--sorry you guys are dealing with all this. I have no advice, just hugs.

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#217 of 223 Old 03-31-2010, 06:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post
Now I must go pack more, every day we get closer to staying with DH's mom for a few months before the apartment in Maine is done, I feel a little bit worse about the decision to stay with her...Giving up so much independence and plus she drives me crazy...Ah MIL's I know I'm not the only one who feels that way!
At least she is a supportive MIL. I have my isues with my MIL but she really is a thoughtful person who wants to be involved. So it could be worse, you could have a bump on the log MIL, my sister's MIL went to my niece's recital and congratulated the wrong kid at the end thinking it was my niece

Quote:
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Anyone else have a "shoveler"? As in, she just shovels food bits into her mouth, sometimes chews them, sometimes just sucks on them and spits them out, and sometimes (this is where I feel concerned), she tries to swallow, kind of gags and then spits up a bunch!
Yep, Anna is a shoveler. It's fun to watch, but since I'm on my third now the gagging doesn't scare me as much. Somewhere I heard/read that as long as they are making a noise when they gag it up, don't worry, they'll learn how to do it properly. If there is no noise and they are gagging, that's when you need to step in and help.

Kelly1101 - the pics are awesome! I wish I was secure enough to back carry more

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Originally Posted by Auraji View Post
"I never went anywhere with any of my kids until they were 5, it's too hard, they get all whacked out".
I hate when people say that. I personally find it easier, then again I'm not phased by the people who have a problem with the meltdowns

Quote:
Originally Posted by Novus View Post
So I went out to a friend's house last night and got back at about 11:30. Luke is usually asleep by 8:30, so of course, I expected him to be in bed. Instead, I walked in the door to find him sitting with DH...watching Terminator
that is so my DH!

cheryllynn - send me some of your clothes organizing energy! I need to go through my girls' DESPERATELY!

ReadingRenee - for weight loss!

Quote:
Originally Posted by JacquelineR View Post
Help!
Someone stole my baby and replaced him with a toddler!!

Okay, not quite... but close!!
thanks for the thyroid info! Iodine is tasty, Selenium is worse than I remembered

Auraji - no advice just

tantrums - yes, Anna can and will throw a tantrum at any time, most of the day I have no idea where she gets this stong willed opinionated personality from

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#218 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 12:11 AM
 
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Thanks everyone for your advices and your support. I got very overwhelmed, still am, but been thinking a lot of ways to make this new situation work. I was going to tell DP that giving Dss mom 30$ more every week didnt sound bad at all, because that's how she put it "since daycare is 120$ (when he goes 4 days which RARELY happens), you can give me 150$ every week", but that I didnt think it was fair if I watched him must of the week to still give her 150$, specially since Im the one watching dss, like I dont watch him just because of money. I prefer him coming here than going to his daycare which I dont like at all, but at the same time it's kinda frustrating to know that he's here and the money we could be saving wont be for me to be able to buy better food or get my daughter some pajamas, etc.

Either way next month I was planning on getting a job either way. My MIL is supposed to take to get my driver's permit and all that. Im looking at cheaper apts to live in, in this same area. Our plans to move to Mt. Airy will have to wait since we'll only have one car available for now. Once I start working their arragement will no longer work, so I dont know if she'll expect DP to give her even more money. Im sure she'll be like "It wont be a problem now that Aura's working", but I'd hate to be working and STILL be struggling to get by every month, YKWIM? Dss also turns 5 in October, so I dont know if he starts school this fall or next one?
I'll go to the frugality and finances. I do need to be better at our economics. I need to make a new budget and manage our money better.

And OceansEve I'd never understand people who dont want to be out with their kids. It's like how are they gonna learn about the world if you dont take them anywhere?

Sophia was really sick, but she's doing much better. Tomorrow I have an appoinment at the dentist. Im a bit scared, I always get nervous.

Dss's mom had her baby yesterday and dss has been here ever since. Today he went to see him and he was telling me all about how Sophia was tiny like him, but now she's growing up like he is, but not quite lol, both her and the baby are doing well. He's going again to see them tomorrow. I think he's gonna be here for 1-2 weeks because she had a c-section.
She ha
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#219 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 12:12 AM
 
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Oh and shoveler too hahahahaha, never heard the term before lol
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#220 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 01:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Haven't posted in a bit but I'm reading I had a big long post done yesterday and somehow closed out of it.

MIL's - I have a reformed monster-in-law, she really had no choice. We had a smack down, drag out fight a few years ago and she realized she either needed to shape up or not have a relationship with us. The first few years with DH were absolute hell because she was constantly sabotaging our relationship. Every once in a while we still have issues but it's much easier to get it out in the open now. It has helped the entire family to be more honest about everything, as they're the type to shove things under the rug. My IL's are like my adoptive parents now since I don't have a relationship with my own.

Teeth - 4 teeth now and working on some more, it seems after the first the rest are a little easier.

Tantrums - Laine is very predictable with meltdowns. In the late afternoon she's very particular about what she wants to do, she either likes sitting in her high chair or being held but refuses to be on the floor playing. She doesn't like clothing or diaper changes for sure.

I finally got Laine's SS# in the mail today. It took so long because I was waiting on paperwork to prove that she's actually my baby and she came out of my vagina and not someone else's Good to finally have it and just in time to get taxes done.

Also went today and got good blackout curtains for both kid's rooms, hopefully that will get me a little more sleep. I ordered a white noise machine for Liam's room and if I like it I'm going to get one for Laine as well to replace her giraffe. Every night is such a struggle with Liam because he's in and out of bed for hours even though he's half asleep. It doesn't help that my back is in extreme pain lately from carrying Laine after her growth spurt.

Andrew will be leaving for home very soon, we'll either see him in about a week or a little less than two, all depends on what his travel schedule is like. I really won't know anything until he's on his way. Super excited, I really can't wait to have somewhat of a normal family again

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#221 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 05:03 AM
 
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It looks like we're a "go" on peanut butter!

Gave her some this afternoon and all seems well. Yay. I'm going to watch her for a few days to be sure but it looks like we'll be fine.

Which is awesome because I LOVE peanut butter.


Only food left to test is shellfish. Which I'm really crossing my fingers for because in the summer I eat a LOT, LOT, LOT of crabmeat. But hopefully my dad will start catching some soon (he's a commercial fisherman in the Chesapeake, just started his crab pots a week ago), so I can test her out on that.

Woo hoo for no food allergies.

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#222 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 05:30 AM
 
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It looks like we're a "go" on peanut butter!

Gave her some this afternoon and all seems well. Yay. I'm going to watch her for a few days to be sure but it looks like we'll be fine.

Which is awesome because I LOVE peanut butter.


Only food left to test is shellfish. Which I'm really crossing my fingers for because in the summer I eat a LOT, LOT, LOT of crabmeat. But hopefully my dad will start catching some soon (he's a commercial fisherman in the Chesapeake, just started his crab pots a week ago), so I can test her out on that.

Woo hoo for no food allergies.

Wife of Michael , SAHM to Aristotle 09/99 Raphael 06/07 and Marius 05/09 Known only in dreams but never forgotten: Euphrates Decluttering 290/2010
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#223 of 223 Old 04-01-2010, 09:29 AM
 
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April Thread, not sure I like the title, but its all i can come up with this morning - suggestions?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...6#post15249456

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