DS (7mos) and I had a lovely afternoon with one of my dear friends today. She happens to be single and was wondering when I'd be free to go "out on the town" with her and leave DS with DH for the night. I breastfeed, but work part-time and have a small frozen milk stash that I could dip into. Thing is, DS isn't the best sleeper and goes down in fits and starts until it is time to take him into bed with us. And he'll only accept soothing from me, no matter how hard DH tries.
I left our outing today feeling kinda funny - like I'm strange for not being able to just leave DS w/ his Dad and a bottle and call it a night. Strange for being okay with having to be there for DS. I actually thought to myself, "Wow, she thinks I'm obsessed with DS!" But ladies, I kind of am...
Thoughts? Is it "normal" to want to put certain aspects of life "on hold" indefinitely? Am I getting obsessed?
If you've read this far, THANKS!
As a working mom also you have some separation time already built in, so you don't have that feeling of "really needing a break" from your kiddo either. This makes it even easier to want to be needed and around him.
You are one of the most important people in the world to your little man, it's only natural that you should be focused on him! Sounds like you're a great mom.
Breeder Mama: = wife to an amazing man + mama to J-Bear (07/02) and E-Train (06/08), nanny to Little Bird (07/10).
To be honest, I think if I went out without DS, I'd just be wondering how he is & probably not have as much fun as my friends. Oh well. I'd rather get to experience all the joys of motherhood than be able to drop everything for a night out. Eventually, there will be a happy medium, but for now, my son wins!
Erin - mama to my happy little guy, born April 09
and my sweet baby, born July 12
DS:15 DD:12 DS:7 DS:5
Surrogate baby born: 9/17/12
Surrogate baby due: 12/14/14
Thank you so much for helping me to feel "normal" and positive for listening to my instincts. I truly, truly appreciate it. And so good to know I'm in such good company!
that said, i'm sure there will come a time when you do want to go out, and that will be normal too, and ok.
Lizbiz, wife to my man who makes me smile, and mom to one bouncy boy (08/07), one sassy girl (12/09), and one sweet new boy (08/12).
It was a beautiful day, and I really needed to get out of the house. On one hand, I needed some downtime badly. On the other, I felt negligent for leaving the baby at home, especially as we've both been cooped up due to poor weather. I went off on my own, and it was marvelous, though I did still feel pretty guilty.
Mom assured me that it's a struggle that never really ends- balancing the need to be alone and take your own time with being with the baby/kid. In the long run, I know it's important for Valley to spend alone-time with her daddy, and for me to spend alone-time with me, but it's still hard!
Doctors aren't out to kill you or your children. Childbirth isn't inherently safe. Science is actually smarter than your intuition. Lighten up. Use sunscreen.
I personally chose to have a child and be there for him until later. Not going out for a little while is not a sacrafice to me, but an investment in him. He is only this age once and I dont want to miss a minute. I know I may go out eventually, but I dont feel the need now and I wont let me pressure me.
I think we have these instincts for a reason.
My little guy doesnt let DH put him to sleep either.
Oh, my son doesn't let anyone else put him to sleep either. It's annoying sometimes, but that's just how it is.
Perfectly normal I'd say
Mommies and babies just need to be together. It's just instinctual.
I feel exactly the same way as you. I don't like to leave my DS for more than a couple of hours, and then it's usually just to go run errands while DS is with DH. I would just rather be with my family than out on the town right now, plain and simple. I do miss my friends, but they understand. Actually, a friend suggested we do monthly dinners at someone's home with our group of girlfriends and that way I can bring DS. It's been nice and still allows me to "get out." My girlfriends spend most of the time doting on DS and I get to sit back and relax.
Mommies and babies just need to be together. It's just instinctual.
I went out and did lots of fun things with my friends and husband. I just brought my DD with me! The intense attachment stage (on both sides) is temporary, and eventually, you and the LO will feel more comfortable spending time apart. You don't need to force it to happen early.
You all are so encouraging!
I didnt go anywhere without DS (now 13 months) for at least the first 6 months. Now I go to a knitting group one day a week, and most of the time I come home early!
I also have meetings for fire/rescue on Monday evenings, but I can see my apartment from the station, so that's not so bad.
There's no way I could leave him overnight though. 2-3 hours one day a week is about all I can handle.
I DO wish that the baby was a little easier in the AM so I could leave him with Daddy. I want to start working out again and the only time I have time is like 5 am. Well that is when the baby nurses the most (he is almost 9 months old and still nurses all night long). So I can't do that yet. I am hoping the time will come when I can, and really, I see nothing wrong with leaving for an hour a day and the baby getting to be with Dad, but even that can't happen yet.
Maria , wife to A , mama to DS M 8/09 and DS L 6/12
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end - Paolo Coelho
I hate leaving my DS. I have gone back to work 2 times so far to work on one specific client. Each time I was gone about 2 1/2 hrs, and it was AWFUL. I cried on the way home both times, and barely held it together through my appointments.
I feel pressured by my mom to go back to work, but I dont know if I can really handle leaving him, even for that short period of time. And I KNOW I could not handle being away from him for 'fun',because I would not be having fun, I would be missing my DS
I don't feel obsessed or like I am missing out.
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
We are all obviously missing out on a lot of things like going out with the girls, having the ability to go do things on a whim, manicures/pedicures...but do any of us really care that much? Probably not! Because we're in our own little world...*insert music from twilight zone*
Motherhood is a physical and emotional addiction to baby. This is mostly a good thing, but unfortunately i have "cradle thumb".
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