Leaving older baby - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-18-2010, 03:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel like lately people want me to leave my baby. I don't mean for a couple hours during the day but for an entire evening. I have no interest I also don't know how well others would do with my 11 month old for a prolong time. I still nurse on demand and he doesn't take a bottle.

I have other kids so I know he will be fine I just don't really feel like it. Am I missing out on something?
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Old 03-18-2010, 09:22 AM
 
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Hi,
I recently posted a similar question "Am I obsessed with motherhood?" and recv'd many beautiful, insightful replies. You should search that post and read what everyone said.

I think it is perfectly normal that you don't care to leave your baby for the whole evening. I have no interest in doing that either. And I totally understand the struggle of dealing with people who expect/want you to want a night off! It is hard to explain choices that differ from the "norm."

That being said, of course it would be perfectly normal too, if you DID want a night off. Really, whatever mama needs, others should support her in getting! And that includes WANTING to be w/ the babe.

Ok, I wish I was more eloquent. Sorry. I get what you're saying and I think it is normal. You sound like you know inside what you and baby want/need. Keep on listening to that inner voice.

Good luck!
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Old 03-18-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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I have a friend who recently emailed me an article called 31 Reasons You Shouldn't Feel Mom Guilt and included things like *Enjoying your work. You can love your kids and still have that "Thank God It's Monday" feeling, well, every Monday.*

and *Closing the bedroom door in their little faces. You did not magically lose your need for privacy when you gave birth. If someone's bleeding or not breathing, by all means, they can knock.* (Uh, seriously?)

*Finding aspects of motherhood incredibly tedious. *

I could not relate at all. I think I am obsessed with motherhood. I love every minute of it. I work full time, and even though DS goes to sleep around 7:30, I like being home and peeking on him while he's sleeping and knowing I will be there to nurse him if he wakes up. I don't miss girl's nights. If I get together with my friends, it's at a playdate. And that's the way I prefer it.

You know, I don't feel like I'm missing out at all. My life is so fulfilled now that I have a baby.

Mom of 2 feisty boys and 1 busy business --Tmuffin--where we help moms connect through birth, babywearing, play, and parenthood.

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Old 03-18-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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While I would love to have a dinner out w/my partner now and then, I have no desire to leaves my son either. (Dinner would take 2 hours max which is about as long as I can be away w/o getting antsy.)

It drives me a little nuts when people give me these "knowing looks" and say, "I'm sure you could use a break!!" I'm like, "Uh, I could use a maid, or a personal chef, but I actually enjoy the time I spend with my child. It's all the other crap piling up that's driving me nuts!" I think it's absolutely fine if/when mamas do take time off but the assumption that I'm desperate for it is offensive.

mom to DS born 5/29/09, DS #2 born 5/2/2011, partner to a PhD (finally!), pleased to be co-sleepin', lovin' our 3 cats and 4 dogs and raisin' our LOs vegetarian.
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