Separation anxiety in 9 1/2 month old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-29-2010, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone dealing with this? I'm not quite sure what to do. I've never been one to let Asia cry. She's always been somewhat of a high maitenance baby.. But a couple weeks ago it got much more intense, she is at the point where she literally does not want to play with toys on the floor at all during the day, she won't do anything on her own. She is not happy unless she is being held, and if she isn't, she is crying. I hold her allll the time but I continue to get people telling me I need to let her fuss a little bit on the floor. People tell me how she is isn't normal, like it's an extreme case of separation anxiety. Obviously me leaving the room or even going to the other side of the room is out of the question, I bring her everywhere.

Let me just say, I don't mind holding her. I rock her to sleep for all her naps and she co-sleeps at night. I am just wondering if other babies get the separation anxiety this bad and if they grow out of it, and how you mama's deal with it. A lot of people in my real life are not about the AP way of parenting and constantly make me feel like I am going to mess Asia up/make her co-dependent from holding her so much. It's really confusing and frustrating!

I'm a first time mom. I don't know what I'm doing. Advice, please!!

Happy mama to Asia born 07/15
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#2 of 6 Old 04-30-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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our 9 1/2 month old DD is the same. It is a good day when you can go to the bathroom for 1 minute without her having the be held at the same time.

And people are always telling us we have to do this or that and telling us that we will have a co-dependent child and adult.
Basically, we nod and then ignore their advice. We have a co-dependent baby! But babies and small children are supposed to be able to depend on other people. I do not believe that holding her will make her worst. I believe (hope) that our DD will outgrow it, but if she doesn't then it is probably just her nature and not because we held her.
We do everything wrong in the eyes of people who believe in instilling independence in infants. But that's OK, we would rather do it all then have an unhappy baby who feels alone in the world.

Me 40 eat.gif. Partner to mamacolleen 33 superhero.gif. DD born July 2009 blahblah.gif. Twin boys born Nov 2012.

We are a family that loves cold.giftreehugger.giffamilybed1.giffemalesling.GIFcd.gif

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#3 of 6 Old 04-30-2010, 12:20 PM
 
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DS is exactly the same right now at 9.5 mo, except I can sometimes put him on the floor with a toy for 2 minutes at best. The mommy-clingyness is very tiring! He is only like this with DH & I and he has been sleeping worse at night. His interest in eating solids has also tanked. I wear him a lot and just go with it, but I don't think that letting him fuss accomplishes anything- in fact my guess is that it is counterproductive. It is just a phase and we will miss it (maybe) when they are always running away from us!

Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

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#4 of 6 Old 04-30-2010, 12:52 PM
 
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DS1 was the same way and DS2 is getting there - he's generally OK as long as I'm in the same room, but gods forbid I have to goto the bathroom or take ds1 to the bathroom or something They get over it, I promise!! Not sure when exactly, but DS1 was certainly over it by 2. Good luck!!
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#5 of 6 Old 04-30-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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op...your dd is completely normal!! My dd is 11mos and has had a severe case of what I call Mommyitis for months now. For whatever reason she needs to be near you/in your arms and you are doing the right thing by responding to her needs. All babies go through some degree of seperation anxiety. Please ignore people trying to tell you what to do. My now 3yr old ds was very clingying for the first 18mos of his life and I always held him when he wanted and now he is very confident and independent. I am so sick of people trying to put value on making infants and young children independent...they are meant to relie on us...we are their mommies. Keep up the good work. Your dd will grow out of this just hang in there. I know how hard it is to have to pee with a little one on your lap!! Its hard but it will end.
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#6 of 6 Old 04-30-2010, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah, thanks everyone! This makes me feel much better. That's all I wanted to hear, is that this is normal, and they do grow out of it eventually! I'm not going to worry about it and I'm just going to continue doing what I've been doing.

Thank you!

Happy mama to Asia born 07/15
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