Feb 2010 DDC May chat thread! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, gals, time to sub to our new thread since our DDC is closing. Everybody here?

Homeschooling mama to DD 3/28/06 reading.gif,  DS 2/27/10 coolshine.gif, Belle the Orange Dog 03/11, and DD babygirl.gif 10/03/2013.
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#2 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 04:53 PM
 
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#3 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 05:01 PM
 
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hi. thanks for setting this up.

Well, my friend Not a close friend but a friend was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and my mom killed(euthanized) our dog of 16 years. That was this weeks news.

I found out about the latter and the former via facebook.

At any rate, Still asking for prayers for us to be able to build our home here ASAP. Thanks.

Hope Chessa is feeling better.

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#4 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 07:12 PM
 
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Aww sorry Jul. Sounds like you've had a rough week.

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#5 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 10:20 PM
 
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hello!
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#6 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 10:32 PM
 
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Hi, y'all!

I can't STAND the thought of sex lately, and even kissing on tv is grossing me out. I have trouble switching off mommy-mode, and we haven't worked out a satisfactory method of birth control. We worked out a compromise bc my husband is as happy with a massage as with sex--whew! I still enjoy giving massages; I guess bc I can stay in mommy-mode for that.

Tamara: Aspiring doula, partner to Brazilian musician, mom to THREE GIRLIES!
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#7 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 11:02 PM
 
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Hi Everyone!

I can't believe we our DDC is closing! The time went so fast.

Baby news, twice this evening DD (11 weeks) has tried to sit up. She is obviously nowhere near it, but I put her a boppy in our bed so I could get DS into bed. We went in so DS could say good night to her and she has both arms out in front of her and it using her stomach muscles to pull her head and back off the boppy! She looked at us, smiled and layed back down once we got in there. Then, just now, I put her leaning on a pillow next to me on the couch and she did it again...weird.

Sex: We still haven't DTD. I feel kinda bad, but DH doesn't seem to mind too much. Our wedding anniversary is this week, maybe we'll bust out a condom and celebrate.

Mama to three

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#8 of 107 Old 05-22-2010, 11:14 PM
 
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Hmmm...we've DTD maybe 4 time since baby was born? More for DH's sake than anything else - takes me a long time to switch off mommy mode and half the times we've tried we've gotten interrupted...DH keeps asking how the Duggar's manage to find time to make 19! LOL

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#9 of 107 Old 05-23-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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Yay for the new thread!

We've DTD about once a week since 4 weeks PP. To tell the truth, I am interested daily, but DH's work schedule makes it near impossible. Although, I forgot to ask-for those who had small tears, does it irritate you for the first few minutes of DTD and then go away? I've been having that experience with the one little tear I had at my perineum. How long before it goes away?

Kara: on a journey with DH, Mama to DS 2/2010
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#10 of 107 Old 05-23-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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Joining in!
Thanks HappiLeigh for taking the initiative
postpartum dtd - nada

Sara - Mum to C (10/02) ; m/c 10/07; 7/08; 3/09; Lucy Olive Feb 28, 2010 !
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#11 of 107 Old 05-23-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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I can't believe our DDC is closing It feels like that was so fast! DH and I have DTD and we waited a long time because it took a long time for my tailbone to heal. I am not too interested since I am so tired but I do get the urge every now and then.
Ambystoma- I did have a 2nd degree tear on my perineum and labia and I do feel a little ache at first that goes away pretty fast. I am hoping this isn't for too long b/c it randomly gives me a small flashback to pushing....not really a mood enhancer
Malachi isn't really trying to roll over. He will try for a little bit and then just be content to talk and laugh or grab things. He does try to sit up too but he is no where close. He will just resist lying flat and loves when we help him stand up. I love him so much!

married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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#12 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 05:38 AM
 
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#13 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jul, that's terrible!

My little guy is entering the Big Cheeks stage. They are huge! I just want to pinch them.

Re: the deed. I've been getting fertile-quality cervical fluid, which makes me think my cycles are returning , and the desire to DTD kind of comes along w/ that. But we've only managed to get both kids asleep at the same time and in their own beds once.

Homeschooling mama to DD 3/28/06 reading.gif,  DS 2/27/10 coolshine.gif, Belle the Orange Dog 03/11, and DD babygirl.gif 10/03/2013.
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#14 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 12:45 PM
 
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Argh, there are some days where I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

I'm sure you all have heard about the BHG article. I joined the "boycott" page, and some of my less-crunchy friends were like why, what's so bad about it? Well, besides the extremely offensive suggestion that I should BF my child in the restroom, I thought the whole tone of the article was derogatory towards parents - to me it made it seem like parents had no common sense. Ugh.

But then I had to politely bow out of a conversation with some crunchier friends today because they started on how evil and poisonous chocolate toddler formula was - I actually just bought a can of it for my 3 yearold. At this point she is so underweight I'll feed her just about anything to get her to eat, so it hurts me for people to insinuate that I'm causing her lifelong harm. It's not really any worse than the Pediasure we've been giving and works out to a lot cheaper per ounce.

I just do the best I can, but I swear some days I can't make ANYONE happy!

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#15 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 01:28 PM
 
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But then I had to politely bow out of a conversation with some crunchier friends today because they started on how evil and poisonous chocolate toddler formula was - I actually just bought a can of it for my 3 yearold. At this point she is so underweight I'll feed her just about anything to get her to eat, so it hurts me for people to insinuate that I'm causing her lifelong harm. It's not really any worse than the Pediasure we've been giving and works out to a lot cheaper per ounce.

I just do the best I can, but I swear some days I can't make ANYONE happy!
If it makes you feel any better, my 3-yr-old drinks boxed chocolate milk EVERY EVERY EVERY morning and often other times a day as well. (I have an excuse -- my husband got her addicted against my advice, and my in-laws insist we not take away something that makes her so happy! :P) It's embarrassing for me, but she's such an amazing kid and so healthy; how wrong can it really be? I'm still super-crunchy in other ways so not feeling too bad about it. (Although I don't recommend it and do plan to avoid it with poor Juju!)

Tamara: Aspiring doula, partner to Brazilian musician, mom to THREE GIRLIES!
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#16 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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Hi, I'm here!

I have a giant baby. He turned three months old yesterday. He's about 14.5 pounds, and just looks so big! There's a little baby at church who's smaller than he is, and she's seven and a half months old.

This week he's been making great strides in getting his fingers in his mouth.
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#17 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 02:47 PM
 
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nak. luv me baby!

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#18 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 03:09 PM
 
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I saw the BHG article and was really offended. I usually try to "see the other side" or whatever but I really think they could have said what they meant without being so derogatory. I really HATE when the bathroom is the place that is suggested to nurse. REALLY? People poop and pee in there. Would you take your meal in to the bathroom and sit on the toilet to eat? or even just make it in there? We have all of these rules and procedures to make sure that we do not have fecal matter in our food or people fixing our food with dirty hands and yet we push moms into the bathroom to feed their babies who have an immature immune system. sigh, sorry to rant.
re: chocolate milk critics...I think parenting is such a weird world to navigate. People are so quick to offer up criticism and slow to offer praise. I hate that that is the dynamic of the parenting community. I try to keep in mind that a) I don't know the whole story about anyone else's life but mine b) I am not that child's parent and c) unless a child is being physically harmed, it is not my business to provide "advice" unless asked.
I am still shocked that people will just come up and give their opinions w/o knowing a person or even being asked. It is really just an interesting social dynamic to me.
my baby is huge too, specifically his cheeks love to pinch them and I love how they scrunch up when he smiles! 4mo sleep regression hitting hard here. Last night and night before we were up nursing every 1-1.5hrs. I am about to fall over asleep! He just has so much to say and do! silly boy. Oh, and my hair is falling out everywhere!
fertile quality cervical fluid here too. think I have had my second AF but it was kind of a pseudo AF b/c it was really short. I have been getting it though after all of the normal signs etc. oh well.

married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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#19 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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i totally missed the BHG article. ...off to google.

2nd week back at work for me. if anything this Monday was harder. I had spent weeks mentally prepared myself for my "first" day back but neglected to get the thought process for each additional week going. But I'm ok now.

my wrist is still really bothering me. I had numb fingers in one hand and my wrist hurt on my other hand/arm. I chalked it all up to PG induced carpal tunnel, but now the wrist pain lingers. I guess I need to figure out what to do about it. I wear a brace at night and that seems to help but I still don't have a full range of (pain free) motion, especially when I move my thumb. At least it's on my left (non-dominant) hand.

Thanks for the blanket wedge tip I got on an older thread, I built a better system and DS seems to be waking up less, if anything he will get to his side (which he is ok with) and then stop because of the rolled blanket by his legs. He sleeps next to me so I'm not worried about them being in his co-sleeper and it's nice that he doesn't get stuck on his belly.
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#20 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 03:32 PM
 
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Oh, and my hair is falling out everywhere!
yep. me too. I treated myself to a hair cut before returning back to work, but now that my hair has started to fall out I wear it in a ponytail every day or else I would be picking hair off myself all day long.

But the hormonal shift is also a good thing because my dark skin patches (mostly under my arms) has decreased. And the hair growth in places hair should not be has stopped, and maybe started to fall out.
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#21 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 03:52 PM
 
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Argh, there are some days where I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

I'm sure you all have heard about the BHG article. I joined the "boycott" page, and some of my less-crunchy friends were like why, what's so bad about it? Well, besides the extremely offensive suggestion that I should BF my child in the restroom, I thought the whole tone of the article was derogatory towards parents - to me it made it seem like parents had no common sense. Ugh.

But then I had to politely bow out of a conversation with some crunchier friends today because they started on how evil and poisonous chocolate toddler formula was - I actually just bought a can of it for my 3 yearold. At this point she is so underweight I'll feed her just about anything to get her to eat, so it hurts me for people to insinuate that I'm causing her lifelong harm. It's not really any worse than the Pediasure we've been giving and works out to a lot cheaper per ounce.

I just do the best I can, but I swear some days I can't make ANYONE happy!
All you gotta do is make yourself happy.

I don't think I know anyone IRL or online who is all "crunchy", everyone just has different issues that are important to them.

My first thought about chocolate formula was "ugh, what's next?" but then I talked with some people, who use it like you do, and realized that it does serve a purpose for certain kids. I still think it might be abused by some parents, but most just want to get nutrition into their child anyway they can. I encourage you to tell naysayers why you are not against using it and open some minds.

Same for the other side when your non-crunchy friends wonder why you care about certain things. I got some toothpaste for DS before I realized it had parabens in it. After I read about about the 'evils' of parabens, I decided not to use that toothpaste on my son. So I asked a friend if she wanted it, after she asked why I didn't want it, I told her it had stuff in there I didn't want on his teeth. Then she asked more, so I told her about parabens. I hope she doesn't think I was being pushy on her, but I don't think there is anything wrong with informing people, especially parents, about what they might not know about.

Mama to three

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#22 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 05:27 PM
 
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W
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#23 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 06:31 PM
 
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Love reading this thread! So reassuring to hear others going through the same kinda things....

dtd - we've done it once - and that was just to shut my dh up, lol! I have zero interest, zero desire.

NicoleS - everyone has to find what works for them and go with it! I've found, since having kids, just how judgemental I was before....and now realize, that whatever works for some won't work for others and we all just need to figure out what works for our own situations. That seems to be the most ap - baby-led as opposed to following someone else's ready made schedule. As for the choc formula, I definitely thought horrible thoughts about it when it came out, but those were thoughts about a newborn being fed it, not a 3 yo!

Katie - did you ever make it to the new moms group? It is so hard to feel isolated after having a babe!

: mama to 3 sweet boys, 10/21/03, 2/23/07 and 1/20/10
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#24 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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Katie, I don't live in a rural area, but I can see what you mean. Even living "in town" I felt isolated at times when I was at home with the baby.

A couple of things helped me. I really liked having stuff to do on a set schedule because I would wake up and think I HAVE to go walk at 1pm or eat lunch with DH at noon or whatever so my whole day would be centered around it, and I felt like I had to do it (in a good way) and looked forward to it. If left to my own devices I would sometimes just think it was easier to stay home, but almost all the time getting out felt sooooo much better. It also makes a difference if you have someone with you. My grandma would come hang out with me some days and I would get so much done with just a tiny amount of help, suddenly going to the post office didn't seem like such a big deal because she could stay in the car with DS while I ran in or she could fold clothes because even that small task seemed overwhelming.

I think your situation could improve if you had some set stuff to do and getting a mothers helper (I think you were considering that last week?) could really help. Can you connect with a mothers group or find someone else with a baby near your son's age, or even a friend to set a lunch date with?

Things are just so different with a baby, it's the random things that catch me off guard. I never realized how much I liked going to the gym with DH - we didn't work out together and were not even in the same room but now that we have to stagger our trips there I find that I miss that time together.
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#25 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 06:38 PM
 
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Hi mamas!! Thanks Happleigh for starting this!

Baby news: W is awesome. I mean just flat out awesome. So in love with him and all is going well.

Me: working my butt off, it seems. Constantly on the go! Starting a new workout program this week. Still have some stubborn pounds sitting around that need to hit the road! I'm back in my pre-preg size, but still not 100% satisfied.

DTD: We've done it once since we received the green light from my OB. So once in the past 4 weeks and that was on our Anniversary. I'm so not in to it as I'm exhausted once 9pm rolls around that all I want to do is lay in bed with DH and watch our shows that we record. We snuggle, kiss and it's lights out. But DH seems fine with it as am I.

One happy mama to 1/06 , 3/10 , and married to my best friend
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#26 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 06:52 PM
 
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Speaking of DTD - I seem to have bright red spotting afterward for about 24 hours. Never had that happen before?

Nicole, Mommy to Jasmine (7/05) , Athena (2/07) , Shane (3/08) , Caleb (1/10), and 2 angels (4/06 & 4/09)
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#27 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 07:14 PM
 
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DTD - we've done it maybe three or four times? The first few times we tried it and it just hurt me too much so we stopped. Then the last time it hurt at the very beginning - what a previous poster described - then felt good. So I thought 'finally, we'll be able to get back into this.' But, since we're using condoms, and will be for the foreseeable future since I've had bad experiences with hormonal methods, DH is having all sorts of issues with getting used to those. And mostly I'm just too darn tired and have no libido. I thought maybe I'd gotten my period way back at 6 weeks, but it turned out to be just random bleeding. But a few days ago I started what really is my period, I'm pretty sure. Blah.

Switching gears...I have a nursing question for y'all. Alex has been a champion eater, but sometimes he'll go through a mini-phase where he has a lot of trouble eating - he's in one now. He'll get on the breast and do great on one side, then not want to have anything to do at all with the other side. I think in the past gas has been the culprit, and I've been able to help the situation by watching what I eat and using gas relief drops. This time, he's even fussier than usual, and sometimes will barely get started nursing before he starts crying and squirming. He does this with the bottle, too. It's really hard because it means feeding him almost non stop, and has meant he'll wake up more at night too. Our pediatric nurse thinks he's swallowing air when he cries, and recommended a little rocking exercise to help; haven't tried it yet, since he's napping now. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
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#28 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 09:19 PM
 
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Malachi was arching his back and crying when he would start nursing. It seemed to be gas related. I cut out dairy too bc he was also spitting up a lot more and seemed to be in pain. DH is sensitive to dairy, like has an allergy to it. Burping him often and cutting out dairy has completely eliminated the arching his back at the breast and crying. Hope this helps!
on another note, I just gave malachi his first bottle. We haven't needed to before and he has refused it the couple of times we tried. My sister is getting ready to have a baby and I wanted to be able to have food for him while i am with her in labor. I don't know exactly how I feel about him taking the bottle. He took it well and then refused it and asked to nurse to sleep. It was breast milk so that isn't why I have mixed feelings. I don't know, he is getting older and our relationship is just a little changed now. I was sad and excited. It does mean that I can go out with out worrying about if he will get hungry. A part of me mourns this freedom and a part of me really likes it. oh the joys of motherhood I really can't explain this well.
oh and hugs katie, it is so hard to figure out the balance of getting out and socializing with the effort that it might take. sorry you miss your family and I hope you are able to find some good mommy friends!

married to my love , in love with MJ born 1/18/10 and PJ born 4/6/12 waterbirth.jpg and now due with a surprise 11/14!
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#29 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 10:13 PM
 
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For those of you with arch-backed, crying, fussy nursing babies. Adding baby probiotics once a day fixed this almost instantly with DS. DD hasn't had anything like that yet, so I haven't used them with her.

Mama to three

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#30 of 107 Old 05-24-2010, 10:13 PM
 
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thanks! sorry to whine!!
I reached out to a few folks with new babies that I sort of know to see if they want to do a group- waiting for responses. AND I am looking for a mom's helper for a few hours- have people interviewing- only cause I need a few hours once in a while cause I have this whole big house and all this stuff.
Anyway- baby is getting to be so much more fun- especially since we went to grandma and grandpa's. He is so much more interactive and I just love the little talking noises he makes! He looks a lot like my dad right now which is adorable. My parents just went nuts over him- totally adore him- and that really helped him to blossom and us to blossom. I need to get off this computer and go to sleep with my dh and baby who are up there in bed already. I am so tired I should be sleeping. blah blah blah.
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