I have to preface this by saying that in my heart, I truly feel that the best way is to integrate the baby into your daily life and just take him/her around everywhere. However, we did that with my first baby, and at the age of 4 weeks he contracted RSV, which led to antibiotic-resistant bacterial pneumonia, and was hospitalized for three weeks with chest tubes and ventilator support. It was a truly horrific nightmare experience, and therefore this time around we're being more cautious. So far we have only taken Stazi to her great-grandmother's house, and to my aunt's house for a family gathering. We're holding off on other public places like the library, grocery store, restaurants, etc., until she's a bit older.
Anyway, she's 3 weeks now and I'm already going stir crazy. I'm just wondering, for those of you that did choose to wait a bit before introducing your babies into public, how long you waited? We were thinking maybe 4 weeks for the library and other low-risk places (she'd be in a sling the whole time) and then 8-9 weeks for places like restaurants and my older son's day care for pickups? I don't know if I can last that long, though. But I don't want her getting sick like Zeke did. (He had other problems as well -- even though he came at 38.5 weeks I believe he had signs of prematurity, he was badly jaundiced, and I think all of that led to a weakened immune system. But still.)
I think you should just go with your instincts, and when you are out, keep her in a sling; usually people are less likely to come right up to a baby that is tucked in a sling. I know a lot of midwives that recommend 6 weeks that you try to keep the babies out of the general populace. I also really love the idea of following the lead of some cultures that have a 40 day "lying in" period where the mom and baby (and family) stay in their home and recieve help from their community. I do think the biggest benefit of this is that the mom and baby get to really just stay in their "bubble" and really tune into each other, and that the mama gets to fully rest, heal and recharge from the work of having a baby. That being said, when my son was a week old my daughter had a small dance performance, lots of kids around, but I couldn't miss it. So I just tucked my little guy in the sling and went. I think that what happened with your first baby (sounds like a hard thing to go through!) had a lot of factors that will not be an issue with your daughter (i.e. immune issues). I guess what I am trying to say is that you should use some caution if your instincts are telling you to, and hang in there for the next few weeks.
Well, with my 1st he was 5 weeks early so I didnt go out with him until he was about 2 mos old... I was going a little CRAZY but I also was SOOOOOO SCARED!
Now with my second son, I waited until 4 weeks I would have waited longer but my dad was down, dont see him much and he offered to take us to dinner MY CHOICE I couldnt resist! :LOL
Also he was so big I really "wasnt so scared"
You feel comfy when you are ready.. I think the libary might be germy cause of the kiddos.. jmo though. what about a walk in the stroller? at least you wont be touching anything! :LOL
have fun when you do get out.. weathers getting nicer!
I waited an entire month before I took my daughter out to lower risk places. She was born September 12 2003. I felt it was the safest choice to wait. I've read of places in the world where it is traditional to keep mother and baby in bed for a full month.
I also know of "old wives tales" that reccomend 40 days isolation.
During the big flu scare we did not take the baby out at all and my 7 year old son only when he had to go out. I prefer to err on the side of caution.
I know others will advise you otherwise, but that's my opinion.
But, I hear you about going stir crazy. I though I'd lose my mind not going out for so long. My husband would keep the kids while I would run out to the store, but then I would just worry about the baby during those brief outings!
We're wait-ers too! Usually try to wait 6 weeks, and we never take them out until they're baptised (those kooky Catholics
). This time I've been more nervous due to the Flu stuff (didn't get any of us vaxed
), and so we haven't been to any Mom's Club stuff or LLL(the most likely places for my kids to pick something up- which they would then promptly pass to baby). We actually quit going to that stuff 3-4 weeks before I was due- so no one would be sick for the birth, and- it worked! We all got a slight cold from sick people at his Baptism ironically:LOL
I also agree that keeping the baby in the sling should help greatly- I got my sling specifically for the fact that we have a wedding to go to, with around 200 people, in about a week, and ds will only be 8 weeks old- I don't want random people touching him!
my ds was 4 weeks early and spent time in the hospital for severe jaundice....so we were very nervous and unsure about going out. We took it slow, maybe going to lunch when ds was about 4 weeks, and going to somewhere quiet and small. We kept him either in our arms in a blankie (he was soooo tiny the sling kinda swallowed him up until about 8 weeks) and kept him close. We didn't let anyone touch him, get too close or hold him in public, and really discouraged any visits until he was 8 weeks. The family that did come over was diligent about hand washing, as were we. I think that is really the key to keeping germ free. Wash your hands lots! I think we just had to listen to our hearts and balance keeping him in quiet, clean places with our sanity. Tucked close with mom while she reads in the library is probably not much of a risk, passing him around at the library would be. So since I doubt you would do that
Uhm........I *didn't* wait with my dd........I needed diapers when she was 4 days old and, well, I was single.....I didn't really have an option, so off to Target we went........
I'm of the opinion that if you birthed in a hosptial, you've all be exposed to everything under the sun anyways. I was never sicker than when I worked in a hospital.
:
This time around, I'm homebirthing and I'll probably wait a week or two but unless this one comes REEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY early, I will probably be out and about with him within a week or two.
I agree anothermama! I have 6 kids. I can't stay home for a month or even a week. I was out of the house this time when DC #6 was 5 days old. We went to Outback Steakhouse. It was great, and she was good. Best time to do things is when they are really young.
Knock on wood, but DD is now almost 6 weeks old, and no colds or anything yet. We have been to Walmart a half a dozen times, been to numerous places to eat, been to church, friends home, been to my parents for her to "meet" all her aunts, uncles and 16 cousins. We are going next week to have her "meet" the in-laws.
I have a friend who had a baby 3 weeks before me. She hasn't taken her baby out once. Her baby has been sick 2 times! She has 7 children. I guess she thinks if she stays home, then he won't be exposed. Exposed to what?? She has 7 children!! 4 are in public school, and her DH is in his resident year (of medical school). I think that baby is getting exposed to more then what she thinks.
Crazy to stay home!! Even my preemie was at the mall the day after she was released.
I don't think that is a kind thing to say to those of us who chose to be cautious. Besides, this thread was directed to Moms who waited to take new babes out in the world.
Shannon, Mom who stayed home & am proud of my choice!
Crazy to stay home!! Even my preemie was at the mall the day after she was released.
I'm really glad that worked out for you, but I think I mentioned in my first post that we did that with my firstborn, and he wound up hospitalized for three weeks with chest tubes and ventilator support. I have seen my precious month-old baby with a tube in his chest wall, hooked up to a machine to help him breathe, because of a virus he picked up somewhere in the world. I did not want to repeat that experience, and that's why we're being cautious this time around. I hardly think that's being "crazy" but of course you're entitled to think that if you wish.
Thanks to those who posted about their experiences and how long you waited. I think we're going to go with six weeks and then I'll start taking her out, but only in the sling. I figure being tucked in close to Mama will help prevent grabby hands from reaching out and touching her, and will also limit her exposure somewhat.
You know, it's funny, I remember reading VBAC stories where the moms talk about how when they progress past where they did in their Cesarean birth, they feel suddenly empowered (like if they stalled at 5cm in their first birth, then when they get to 6cm in their second, they feel like "Yeah, I can really do this!"). I feel almost the same about my experience with Zeke. He came down with RSV when he was 3.5 weeks old, and at 4 weeks we wound up at Children's Hospital when he almost stopped breathing. Stazi is now 3.5 weeks old, and I feel like if we can just get through this week, we'll have passed a huge milestone and I'll feel so much better. Now... that really *might* sound crazy
I took my DD out right away, but she was 2 weeks overdue and, I figured, well-cooked. And really we didn't go out the first few weeks much except short walks around the apartment complex w/ her in the sling, maybe 2 trips to public places. I was recovering from a C-section so wasn't up to much myself.
Had she been preemie, and were I in your shoes after the first experience, I have no doubt I'd have been MUCH more cautious than I was.
I would start w/ walks out in the fresh air, around your home. That way you don't really even have to set your child down for a diaper change outside the house, but you can get some exercise and, well, fresh air. This is assuming you're not someplace where it's still COLD, lol. I just thought of that.
I think yo must take a lot of factors into consideration, such as the climate, flu season, size of baby, place you are going etc.
I have a coworker who brought her 5 day old baby to the elementary school we work at on a day in February when the weather was 7 degrees below 0-while kids were there. She, in my opinion was crazy. However, if it were a warm summer day, and the baby was a healthy full-term, I see no problem-as long as it is away from kids an crowds.
My babe was less than 6lbs at birth and was too small for the carseat. We waited until she was 8lbs, so she was 8 weeks.
I should have said...I go crazy staying home. I know each person is different, and if any of my babies were sick (from birth) or anything like that, I almost guarantee I would be staying home too. My preemie was just a preemie. Nothing wrong as in a sickness or anything like that.
Sorry!
But, I do know 2 moms who did stay home with their babies, all preemies, for months!! One was born in July, and she didn't bring him out, except dr. appt., until March!! I don't know how she did it with a 2 yr old either. And the other mom had twins in June (following that March), and she still hasn't brought them out yet except for the appts. She also has a 3 yr old. I just don't know how they do it. I would go stir-crazy!
It's OK LDSMomma, I think I was just feeling a bit touchy... let's chalk it up to postpartum hormones.
July to March would make me go totally crazy, too. I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to last the next few weeks! But, I do think it's worth it, at least in our case.
I'm struggling with this issue as well. DS was born two weeks ago.
Of course, I gave birth at 38.5wks because I had the Norwalk virus - and was terribly sick before and after birth - so my little guy at least has those antibodies.
We ended up being in the hospital for 9 days because I had a couple of other complications - and now that my IV mid line is out (today yay! - had to get IVs at home for a couple of days), I kind of want to get out and stretch my legs a bit.
I was thinking about a quick jog to Sears tomorrow because I'm shrinking out of my maternity pants and don't have anything else that's really comfortable yet.
Perhaps I should wait a bit longer - doc said today I'm probably more prone to infection than normal because of my experience.
Ok, perhaps I'll order something on line and wait two more weeks.
I agree with most of the people here that when you first take the baby out will depend on various factors (temperature, environment, manner in which you will be transporting baby, etc) and most importantly, how you feel. For DD, we took her out for a 10min walk in the stroller in front of our house, all bundled up (it was the end of fall, beginning of winter), just for the fresh air and some sun, the first week she was home. I don't think we took her out to a mall or anything like that until she was several weeks old. I know I wasn't ready to take her out to do errands and such until she was 2months old, then thereafter, we probably went out to the mall, to the community centre and all twice a week. My SIL, OTOH, does not take her DD out at all (not even for a walk around the neighborhood) unless it's the w/e and my brother is there to help her--and my niece is 9mos old. My SIL does not stay home because of fear of infection, it's just that she is still not ready to take the baby out on her own. The poor baby is not comfortable in public places or places where there are lots of people (ie >5), even if it's just family. I think you do have to balance it and take the babies out to accumstom them to more than just the 4 walls of home. Even if you do not get stir-crazy, the babies do! Anyways, I think that balance is important and that you should not take babies out to where you know there lots of sick people/kids, but you should expose them to the outside world in safe doses. (Sorry for the novel, but I just feel badly about my niece)
I have to second going out for a walk. Even though we did not take our daughter out in public when she was a newborn, my son and I did take her for walks in our neighborhood. It was last fall and the weather was quite comfortable here.
We try to take the children outside to play and for walks whenever the weather is cooperating. I think the fresh air sunshine and other things to look at are good for them. We are lucky, though to live in a "walkable" neighborhood.
Shannon
PS Cassiemommy, I, like your SIL, was also apprehensive about taking my first child out in the world by myself, I was afraid something might happen and I would be alone and not know how to handle it. I had ZERO prior experience with babies.
Have you tried talking to her about what she's afraid of? Nine months seems a little old to still be unsure of herself.
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