How do you get to anything on time? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 11:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So I'm a little lonely- don't know other mamas in my area, and I've been advised is to check out LLL or a playgroup...

So LLL is at 10am today, and a local playgroup is at 10am next monday, and a sing-a-long at 11am- but my DD is always napping during these times.

So I know we could go late, but by the time she wakes up from her nap and we get out the door and arrive at the event, it would be over.

Alternatively, I could skip her nap or push it back, or hope she naps in the car (she usually doesn't) but DD is a very poor sleeper and life is miserable for everyone if we mess with the naps.

Do I just need to wait until she's older to go to events?

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#2 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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Cecilia and I just show up when we can to all of our playdates, and the mamas in our two groups are fine with that because they all do it too! I think when you find AP groups, you find a lot of flexibility. Now, Cece does sometimes let me push her naps around a little bit but only in certain ways. For example, she is napping right now at 7:30 AM. We have a playgroup at 2 today. So my hope is that she'll sleep to 10:00 AM, then be ready for her second nap at noon, so we can make it to playgroup. If she wakes up before 10 I will try to get her back to sleep until then. If she sleeps later than 10 I will probably wake her gently, and snuggle her on my lap for a while until she really wakes up. That's about the most nap-manipulation I will ever do!

Oh, and if it comes down to it, you can always shedule playdates of your own to fit your schedule better, even if they are at a park or somewhere outside of your house! So if she would do better with, say a 12 or 1 PM playdate, schedule one!

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#3 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 12:27 PM
 
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I think sometimes it's a time to weigh the benefits vs the risks. And your child might act totally different in those situations, especially if mama is happy!

And her schedule will likely change very quickly making it easier to make those 10am things.

Good luck and enjoy meeting new moms!
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#4 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 12:46 PM
 
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i generally wake my dd up so we can go out. we only have maybe one or two set events during the week though, so one missed nap isn't going to kill us, whereas mommy not getting out all week very well might.

honestly, i would hate 10 am events though. I'M not usually ready to leave the house that early! are there other options? i love that my friends meet at 1 or 2 pm... late enough that we've gotten at least one good nap in the day, and early enough that we usually have time for a nap before dinner. however, i would try and move that nap a little bit so i could get out if that was the only option, especially since it seems that a few different things are going on at that time.

if i can't move the nap, and she's still sleeping, i would get myself ready to go and pick her up last minute before i walk out the door. we have had good luck with having a catch-up nap at playgroup in my mei tai carrier.
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#5 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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Hahahahaha!!! Get somewhere on time!? That's hilarious!

Okay, kidding aside, here are my methods:

1. Start slow with one attempt per week until I find myself getting better at it.

2. Don't attempt to be showered, dressed in matching clothes (unless they're PJs), or attempt to put on make-up or eat properly before going.

3. Wear a hat if hair is gross, or if it's just bedhead, use the sprayer from the kitchen sink to wet it down so people think I showered.

4. Keep diapers & wipes in my purse, so I don't have more things to grab than necessary.

5. Grab a snack or protein bar, and hope there's food wherever I'm going. If there's not, I try to pack something quick like a bagel & cream cheese.

6. Print directions the night before and stick them in my car or purse, along with my cell phone. Otherwise I end up making several trips back to the car.

In all seriousness, I had to do these things before I had a child because with narcolepsy, I'm already sleep-deprived, having difficulty getting up and moving in the morning, and running on half a brain when I do. Afternoons are way better for me. Evenings are great, especially if I can have people come to my place.

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#6 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 12:58 PM
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Not sure how old your babe is but this challenge got easier for me as she got older. When my dd was young (under 3mo) she wouldn't sleep in the car so one trick I learned was to drive somewhere before her nap time, stroll the neighborhood with her in a carrier so she'd fall asleep. Then I'd arrive at the event on time with a sleeping or well-rested baby.

I agree that you definitely have to weigh the risks and benefits. I had days that I was willing to sacrifice naptime for adult interaction. On those days, I just made sure we spent the rest of the day quietly at home.

Hang in there, mama! You are doing a great job!
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#7 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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Other than doctor's appointments, I schedule things for the afternoon. Now that we've started at a Mommy & Me group, I actually make sure DD is up by 8 so she'll nap 11-11:45 and we can get out the door by noon. And I make sure EVERYTHING is ready beforehand: snacks, water, coats out, shoes on, bus money in pocket, diaper bag filled, wrap/stroller out, I mean EVERYTHING. All I do is wait till DD wakes from her nap, change her diaper, put on our coats and out we go.

Mind, I was like this before DD--always ready and always really early. Now I'm usually just on time.

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#8 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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Ya, I don't!!

It helps me to get ready first. Then nurse a bit less than William would like. Then I get him ready-ish...spitup free shirt, new diaper, diaper bag ready. Then I finish up nursing to get him relaxed enough to go into the carseat without crying. Then I finish up what I forgot about myself while holding William to prevent him from getting cranky. Then we get to the car where it'll be 100% good or will all go to hell because of the evil carseat.
If it's a carseat issue I'll nurse him in the backseat until he's dozing. Then if it's not too late I'll be on my way. Unless he freaks out on the way we might get to the destination at some point.

I think that it's so important for mamas to get out I'd say to try and work the baby into a different nap time or just show up with a napping baby (my LLL meeting are 100% napping babies at some point during the meeting). Could be that your LO loves the outright so much they skip the nap until later.

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#9 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I either do early naps or skip them if I have someplace to be during nap time. Baby will either fall asleep while out or not. Getting places on time for me, is all about prepping ahead of time. I have multiple places to be on any one day at a certain time, I lay everything out the night before, make up snacks, etc...

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#10 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 04:39 PM
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if i want to do something like that, i do. if her sleep gets all screwed up one or two days i just make an attempt to do a couple days that i dedicate to making all her scheduled naps after that.

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#11 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 05:23 PM
 
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I could have written this same post today, and at the same time too! We missed a music program at our library today because DD fell asleep in the Ergo 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave, and woke just as the event was ending. I'm also afraid to mess with her naps because they're so erratic, but in retrospect I wish i had woken her. We both would have benefited from the social interaction.
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#12 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 05:26 PM
 
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No, I never arrive on time, but it's not because of naps!

If it's just once a week, I would totally go out and see how it goes. I take DD places during naptime a few times a week. I used to be more stressed out about getting in every nap, but then I realized it's not worth the stress. And for sure, a LLL meeting will understand a fussy babe if she gets fussy.

Mama to three

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#13 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 06:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tzs View Post
if i want to do something like that, i do. if her sleep gets all screwed up one or two days i just make an attempt to do a couple days that i dedicate to making all her scheduled naps after that.
I think this really depends on the child. This would totally ruin Cecilia's nightly sleep if I did it too often, and when her nightly sleep gets ruined so does the next day's sleep, etc. So I think you really need to know if your child can handle having his or her sleep routine jacked around a bunch, and if not, plan to be late!

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#14 of 14 Old 09-17-2010, 09:28 PM
 
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Since my DD doesn't really nap on a schedule, I generally just pack her into the car when I know she's ready for a nap, even if it's way too early for the event. I let her take her whole 40 minute nap in the car, then take her to a park or something until the right time. And like, PPs, I definitely try to have everything packed up the night before. Still, DD does have a knack for going #2 or puking all over herself just as we're getting into the car...so we still end up late a lot of the time.

And, not to hijack your thread, but Cecilia's Mama, I cannot believe your child's napping ability!! I am sure you worked for it and I know I've read some of your advice in other threads, but, wow. I am still very, very impressed.
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