Which was a harder jump....0 to 1...or 1 to 2? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Which was a harder jump.....
0 to 1 child 85 58.62%
1 to 2 children 60 41.38%
Voters: 145. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 73 Old 09-13-2013, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am the OP and bumping for fun.....because now I have gone from 1-2!!!! And for us, going 0-1 was the hardest by far. It's tough having two-- for sure-- but because we already identified as being parents and were in that parenting groove, it feels less insane. smile.gif
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#62 of 73 Old 09-13-2013, 08:22 PM
 
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I think going from carefree adult to parent was quite a shock. The second time around seems so much easier, but different spacing could change the experience greatly.
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#63 of 73 Old 09-13-2013, 08:57 PM
 
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Definitely 0-1! My kids are only 15 months apart but it was an easier adjustment from 1-2. Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.


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#64 of 73 Old 09-14-2013, 08:30 AM
 
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Thanks for updating!!

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#65 of 73 Old 09-14-2013, 07:08 PM
 
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I'm also in the 0-1 camp. The hardest was the change in sleep patterns. I never bed shared really with either but get up to tend to kiddos. Getting used to interrupted sleep was HARD but it's just the new normal now. 2.5 year old and a 7 week old isn't easy but I'm so much more experienced and confident. I trust my instincts and feel secure that my girls' needs are met so it feels a lot less nerve racking
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#66 of 73 Old 09-14-2013, 07:49 PM
 
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1-2 was definitely harder for me. 0-1 is a bigger life change, going from not being a parent to being a parent but I am very confident with young babies, I was confident about our parenting style and, as luck would have it, our baby responded well to it. I could sleep when she slept. I got free time when she was out with DH or grandparents. I had more hands than children. There were more parents than children.

*None* of that applies to the second child (except the baby confidence and parenting style stuff - we were lucky again there). Until recently I *always* had someone with me. DD2 is almost 10mo and I can start leaving her for brief periods now that she doesn't need to feed so often. Someone always needs something or wants something or is getting into something they shouldn't. It's a constant juggling act to make sure DD1s need for activity and stimulation are balanced with DD2s need for sleep. I'm sure it doesn't help that my baby confidence is equally balanced with my toddler completely-at-seaedness. I find it incredibly hard to parent this 2.5-3.5yo. Give me a Newborn any day!

I'm not sorry I had two. I wanted two for many reasons and they all still hold now I have them. But, yeah, definitely waaaay harder than one for me.

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#67 of 73 Old 09-16-2013, 09:21 PM
 
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Peony, 

 

Yes! Same experience here. Makes me think again if I want a third! 


Please ignore my spelling-- I think faster than I type.
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#68 of 73 Old 09-17-2013, 07:35 AM
 
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I voted 0 to 1 was harder, though for me I was comparing it to 1 to 3. Some of it was because it's a huge adjustment from no kids to having a kid, but most of it was because my DD1 was (and is) so high needs. More kids is tough too because one kid is pretty easy to take places, afford childcare, etc. but 2 or 3 kids makes it all much more logistically and financially complicated!

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#69 of 73 Old 09-18-2013, 11:50 AM
 
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1-2 was harder for me. There was of course an adjustment in first becoming a mom, but I just loved the experience altogether. When I had my second he was really high needs and I also had a 2 yr old and I basically didn't sleep for a year or more. 


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#70 of 73 Old 09-19-2013, 07:25 PM
 
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0-1 My first was and is high needs, spirited, etc. He took all of my expectations and shattered them into a million pieces. If it wasn't for me (mistakenly) thinking that I couldn't get pregnant without fertility treatment, there would be no second yet as he still often has us reeling. But I am so glad she came along. It has been so much easier to parent her. I already learned with ds how to live without sleep, so even though dd is not a great sleeper, I don't mind. It is tough to juggle both of their needs, and I do feel sometimes like I can't give them all the attention they need at specific moments in the day. But they also are beginning to entertain each other. He is not quite 2.5; she is 10 months. I can see their bond solidifying and imagine a future in which I am not needed every single second of the day and night. And I know now that I wasn't doing it wrong with ds. He is just tough. So even though it is more work, it is less of an adjustment and easier on me in terms of my level of confidence as a parent.

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#71 of 73 Old 09-26-2013, 12:19 PM
 
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1-2 was by far the hardest for us, and she was my easiest baby.  DD1 was still fairly high needs at 2.5, and I wasn't able to give her as much as I wanted while wearing a baby (because she wasn't THAT easy of a baby).  That was really hard for me.  Time with my first went from ordinary all the time to a really big deal.  And with 2 waking me up all night, I was exhausted.

 

0-1 is a bigger life change, but with just one, you can lie around in pj's all day and just take care of your baby.  Two was a lot of chaos and feeling like I couldn't meet anyone's needs properly.

 

2-3 has been surprisingly smooth.  Of course, DD1 started 1st grade when DD3 was 1 week old, so I don't often have all 3 of them with just me.  For most of the day, I just have 2 kids at home, which I've already done before, and this time with a calmer and older child.  However, there has been NO rest with school and preschool.  DD3 has a routine like the others never did; I'm not sure if she takes to it naturally, or if it's been forced on her.  Usually when I hear people say 2-3 was the hardest, all 3 were really small.

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#72 of 73 Old 09-26-2013, 12:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by llwr View Post
 

2-3 has been surprisingly smooth.  Of course, DD1 started 1st grade when DD3 was 1 week old, so I don't often have all 3 of them with just me.  For most of the day, I just have 2 kids at home, which I've already done before, and this time with a calmer and older child.  However, there has been NO rest with school and preschool.  DD3 has a routine like the others never did; I'm not sure if she takes to it naturally, or if it's been forced on her.  Usually when I hear people say 2-3 was the hardest, all 3 were really small.

Thanks for weighing in on 2-3! I completely agree with your assessment of the 0-1 vs. 1-2, as we had the same exact situation in our house. And, we are expecting #3! DS1 will be in K already, so I guess they are not all 3 really little! Hoping it's not harder than the 1-2 was, and expecting it to go a bit more smoothly!


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#73 of 73 Old 09-26-2013, 01:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DuchessTergie View Post
 

Peony, 

 

Yes! Same experience here. Makes me think again if I want a third! 

 

LOL! I know! I did have a third.

 

2-3 was by far the easiest transition. Nothing in my life comes without a price tag it seems, eventually we learned he was so "easy" because he had/has many medical issues, delays, autism, etc..,  he was a easier baby though then I've ever experienced because he just didn't care about so many things. Because I am insane, we ended up with a fourth unexpected child when #3 was barely 2 years old and functioning a year behind. #4 is a carbon copy of my first, very high needs child. Again, to say it was hell would be exactly correct. It's been two years since I've had a baby, no more will ever emerge from my body. Baby is now considered a bad word in this house. :wink 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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