Which was a harder jump....0 to 1...or 1 to 2? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Which was a harder jump.....
0 to 1 child 85 58.62%
1 to 2 children 60 41.38%
Voters: 145. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 08:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious what people think about this topic for the heck of it! Lots of pals said the shock of going from no kids to one was the toughest for them, and having two was no biggie...and others said the opposite.

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!
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#2 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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It was definitely more difficult to adjust when my first was born. 2nd was a little easier, and #3 is proving to be a piece of cake compared with the first 2 times around!

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
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#3 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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It was most definitely a bigger change and adjustment in my life to go from being childless to having a child than it was to simply add another child to my life as an already parent.

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#4 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:26 PM
 
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0-1, no contest here. My first as a baby was much more challenging as a baby than my second. And there are 4.5 years between my two children. However, once my second hit toddlerhood, she was more challenging than my first had been at that age, and I hit a point where I started to feel like my life would be easier if I just had one older one. But, you know, most of the time I don't feel like that. I feel like having two of them is more helpful than not, because they do play with each other and will go off and keep each other entertained sometimes, so it's nice.
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#5 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:32 PM
 
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Much much easier to go from 1 to 2. And my kids are only a year apart. I was under a tremendous amount of external stress when I brought home #1 which effected our bond/nursing/made sleep deprivation even worse. I didn't have the outside stress with #2 plus had run around the newborn block once before which made life with 2 kids easier overall. (even when both were still waking up at night so I pretty much didn't sleep at all)

So to answer the question correctly: It was much harder to go from 0 to 1.
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#6 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:32 PM
 
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0-1 for sure.

My second child actually made life EASIER, because he was a very mellow baby and his presence gave his intense older brother someone to focus on other than ME
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#7 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love hearing everyone's experiences! Keep 'em coming!
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#8 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:50 PM
 
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0-1 was more difficult for me! I think it's because we had no idea what to expect - and even though I've wanted children since I was little, it was still an adjustment. From 1-2 just felt natural! I can't wait to add more

Mama to three

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#9 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:50 PM
 
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1-2, without a doubt. I was able to devote all of my energy and attention into being a mom and coping with the changes with #1. With #2, there is no babymoon, you can't take a nap with the baby, and your older child doesn't care that the baby is crying, they need their mom (and thus, you also get to deal with sibling issues). 0-1 was a shock to my sense of self, but 1-2 was a challange of my physical and emotional limits (and then i went and had a third! Because I am crazy like that! )

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#10 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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I had to really think about this, but decided 0-1

My first kid was a tough cookie: she cried constantly, never slept, nursed horrible etc etc. It was really a struggle to maintain sanity, and of course I had all the first time mom nerves so I was constantly thinking "am I doing this right?"

Second kid is a breeze. Mellow, happy guy who just wants to watch he world go by, which is awesome. I also had kids spaced so my DD was just turning 3, and she's becoming way more independent which is nice. I think with a second child you are just more confident in your parenting, which (for me) made it easier!

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#11 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 11:42 PM
 
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0-1 is harder, for sure.

1-2 you can enjoy so many things you were too freaked out to enjoy with #1. You know baby's head isn't going to fall off, etc.

Except when people tell you to 'sleep when the baby sleeps,' and you're like, 'okay, what do I do with my toddler?'

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#12 of 73 Old 10-03-2010, 11:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommariffic View Post
Second kid is a breeze. Mellow, happy guy who just wants to watch he world go by, which is awesome. I also had kids spaced so my DD was just turning 3, and she's becoming way more independent which is nice. I think with a second child you are just more confident in your parenting, which (for me) made it easier!
my kids are spaced this way, too and I love it!

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#13 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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1-2 was harder for me for a number of reasons. Dd1 was 4 years old and jealous. Ds1 was horribly colicky which made us all pretty miserable.

Sara: Separated Mom to , DD (9), , DS (5), DD (3), , & 4/5/10 + 2 & 1
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#14 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 09:50 AM
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1-2 was much harder for me.
I had more support from family with #1 (somehow, the more kids you have, the less help they think you need, which isn't how it works!) He was a pretty mellow baby and I could take him pretty much anywhere. I didn't have to change my lifestyle at all; he was happy to sleep in until 10am or later, he liked being around people, he would happily go to work with his dad while I went to class.
Having my second was insanely difficult. My first was almost 3 and still a pretty easy guy, but taking 2 little kids anywhere is a challenge. The baby was an early bird who thought the day should start at dawn and the rest of us had a very hard adjustment to 7-8am mornings. He was and is an intense child. We adjusted, of course, and by 6 mos. it was my 3 yr. old who was giving me the most trouble but man, it wasn't easy at first.
My third is 2.5 mos. old now and adjusting to her has been a breeze! My boys are in all-day kindergarten and second grade, and they don't require the baby-type hands-on parenting (bathing, toileting, getting dressed, buckling up, etc). They help with the baby. The baby is pretty easy; she almost never cries for more than a minute and she sleeps well at night. I felt "adjusted" by the time she was a month old.
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#15 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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Funny to see this today - just thinking about posting about how hard it's been to go from 1 to 2.

I think for me it's b/c I waited a long time (dd is 7) and we were on the fence about having another one. I'll be totally honest and say that little DS is now 3 mo and pretty much every other day I wonder whether we should have done it or not. It doesn't help that he's a terrible sleeper & resists anything resembling a reliable routine.

It makes me feel pretty awful, even though I know I'm probably not the first mom to feel that way.

But from 0 to 1 - I always knew I wanted a child and while DD was not an easy baby, she was predictable. I bonded with her much easier and quicker than this guy.

Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned homebirth.jpg

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#16 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyleah View Post

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!
My first thought was... Um, going straight from 1 to 3 was pretty hard. So I didn't vote!

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#17 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 01:38 PM
 
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1-2 for me. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. My first was a piece of cake. Adding baby #2 to the family has been hard for all of us but our #2 has cried and not slept for almost a yr now. If he was a different baby my vote might be different.
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#18 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 03:25 PM
 
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0-1 and 1-2 where equally miserable train wrecks. #1 was a never sleeping, screamed the entire first year baby. I thought nothing could be harder then that and then I got #2 who had medical issues. I spend the first 6 months of her life ignoring my first child and attending to the 2nd's many needs, was in and out of the hospitals. It was really rough.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#19 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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nak- 0 to 1... becoming a parent was way harder!!

sleepytime.gifC.- WOHM, CPST Instructor, and all around busy Mama to  blowkiss.gifA.- 02/04, bouncy.gif I. 01/07,babyf.gifE. 09/10 and

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#20 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 11:03 PM
 
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1-2 much harder.


My first was a quiet serious baby that I took everywhere. She could even be snuck into art galleries and movies. I put a couple of cloth dipes in an oversized purse and kept moving... sling, baby, and breasts.

My second was fussy and loud from the get-go. He whistled and pinched while nursing. And by then you have to have toddler snacks for the first one and a change of clothes for both... its like having luggage. Sigh. It was easier to entertain at home than to drag two out.
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#21 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 11:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
0-1 for sure.

My second child actually made life EASIER, because he was a very mellow baby and his presence gave his intense older brother someone to focus on other than ME
Me too, DD loved her brother immediately and didn't need us so much.

Me Wife to T (14 years)Mama to Princess(4) and Monster Boy(my 1 year old ):
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#22 of 73 Old 10-04-2010, 11:11 PM
 
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I'm sorry to say that they were equally awful, just in different ways.
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#23 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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0 to 1 was great. dd1 was a super easy baby.

1 to 2 so far is very challenging. I feel like I'm failing dd1 all the time because I have no choice but to put the baby's needs ahead of her. There's no time to rest at all. I'm trying not to complain because dd2 is a desperately wanted miracle baby after many m/c, but the fact remains that this is really difficult.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#24 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 02:40 AM
 
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0-1 was easy peasy, having a child was a delight and a joy most minutes of most days and our marriage was the sweet sacred font of the new life we had brought forth.

1-2 nearly broke us. He was cute, but we were tired. Too tired. And there was a lot to do.

2-3, however, smooth. Seamless. Busy, but seamless.
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#25 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 03:01 PM
 
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Probably depends on the babies and also the parents' experience with babies... For me, 2-3 was surprisingly hard after 1-2 had been surprisingly easy, but 0-1 was still the biggest transition and therefore the hardest.

Tamara: Aspiring doula, partner to Brazilian musician, mom to THREE GIRLIES!
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#26 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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Neither was particularly rough for us, but our girls are 16 months apart and it was often a challenge to manage the needs of what really amounted to two babies at different stages of development.

Julie - Mom to Elizabeth (Libby) age 6, Penelope (Penny) age 5, Elliott age 29 months, and Oscar who is 1 year old!
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#27 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 03:44 PM
 
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0-1 was much harder.

I had to learn so many new things when I had the first baby. By the second one, I already knew what to expect. All I had to learn to do was juggle the needs of 2 kids at once.

mama to   broc1.gif DS 6/06 and banana.gif DS 4/08
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#28 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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1-2 simply because you have to figure out what to do with that first child when you're dealing with the newborn nursing schedule, getting out of the house becomes like 10x harder and you have to deal with a toddler while you're horribly sleep deprived (and in my case, that toddler may no longer nap, which means no sleeping while the baby sleeps!)

Mama of three.
 
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#29 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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For DH, it was hardest to go from zero to one. Granted, our first was a gigantic ball of constant energy who didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 years old.

For me, going from zero to one was about as difficult as going from one to two. My first two were less than twelve months apart and I'm sure that played a big part. I am now pregnant with #6 and it's gotten easier and easier every time.

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#30 of 73 Old 10-05-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
I am now pregnant with #6 and it's gotten easier and easier every time.


I know I hit my maximum capacity at 2 kids. I'm frazzled as is, I don't think I would ever make it out of the house with 3 (let alone 6).

mama to   broc1.gif DS 6/06 and banana.gif DS 4/08
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