Why is my 10 month-old suddenly so clingy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So my Little Guy is 10 months old today. He has been walking for about 2 weeks.

He is suddenly so clingy!

He's had separation anxiety off and on, but this seems a little different then the usual "can't let mommy out of my sight," style of clingy behavior. Even if I am just walking around in the same room he wants me to carry him around...

Before he would happily crawl around and play for long stretches of time, but now he is walking around, and gets scared easily!

Is this just a developmental stage.... or?

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#2 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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You answered your own question! It's the walking. Until they are about this age, they really have no concept of you being a separate person, but walking reinforces that new notion that he is an individual, and thus, you can LEAVE OMG !!1! and that is scary. Separation anxiety gets intense around a year old, but then fades through the second year. Give him as much reassurance right now that you can that you are not leaving, won't leave him, won't forget him, etc, and hopefully it will be a quick phase.

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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#3 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the reply and reassurance!

But it is odd that it would be walking since he has been crawling for so long, and really happy to crawl about, exploring things.

Now he gets *freaked* if he looks around for me and I'm not there, and wants to be with me all the time. So strange. We've had separation anxiety before, but this is like a freak out panic.

Yeah, let's hope it doesn't last that long. I am aware of the separation anxiety around 12 months to 15 months, but this seems just random and out of the blue....

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#4 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 05:54 PM
 
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Well, if he's walking now, it stands to reason that he is a bit ahead of things on the mobility/separation front. DD had massive stranger anxiety from 3-5 months, way before it is suppose to happen, and hasn't had it since. Babies do things at

It could be now that the novelty of walking has worn off a little, he's realizing the implications? Or could he be teething? My DD wants me all the time when she is uncomfortable.

mama to Rassa, born 12/9/09
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#5 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 07:11 PM
 
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Ohhhh, you've got Valentine's twin! (Same birthday, same physical adeptness, same not saying "I love everything you do for me, momma"!!!)

She started to get real huggy and clingy at 8 months when she got a cold, and as soon as she was well, she was stepping. I'm praying it's an overall, permanent shift in her personality, as she was NOT a cuddly girl before this. So far, I think my MOST favorite moments are her walking halfway across the room and then hurling herself onto us for hugs. It's nice to finally feel needed!

And yeppers, developmental stuff can absolutely impact how much they need us physically. Typically the big sep. anxiety hits around a year, but that's when most kiddos are starting to walk, so as others have said, you hit one milestone early and it starts an avalanche!

Doctors aren't out to kill you or your children. Childbirth isn't inherently safe. Science is actually smarter than your intuition. Lighten up. Use sunscreen.

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#6 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 07:24 PM
 
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I've read that clinginess is mother nature's way of making sure the newly mobile baby doesn't wander off.. it's totally ingenious.
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#7 of 14 Old 10-12-2010, 11:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiago View Post
I've read that clinginess is mother nature's way of making sure the newly mobile baby doesn't wander off.. it's totally ingenious.
This is what I was going to post. It is actually quite brilliant when you look at it that way. One of the best physiological baby/mama facts I have ever read.
Also, this is when my son's biggest separation anxiety kicked in. I though 10 months was a common age for it, but I might be wrong. Now, at 13 & 1/2 months, he is SO much better. Unless he is teething, that is.

Michele married to Dh since Dec 2000 and happily sharing a home with 3 kitties, 1 doggy, DS R born 8/25/09 into the arms of his mama, and DS E born 2/25/2012

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#8 of 14 Old 10-13-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Asiago View Post
I've read that clinginess is mother nature's way of making sure the newly mobile baby doesn't wander off.. it's totally ingenious.
Dude, that is awesome. I need to make myself a sticky note reminder of this. Sometimes seeing the 'reason' behind their need makes it so much easier to bear. They aren't just doing it to make us crazy!

Ivory, partner to Tom, mama to Ella (12/9/05), Alice (12/8/07), and our newest addition, Rebecca (4/1/10).
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#9 of 14 Old 10-13-2010, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, mamas!


What I find so strange, though is that he didn't really go through this with crawling... he prefers me, and if I were out and returned he would fuss a bit, and then crawl over to me.

But this is like *Don't Ever Put Me Down*! He wants me to carry him everywhere. Even if I put him down next to me, he freaks. I'll sit down on the floor and he climbs on me! He *has* to be touching me.

I do wear him for at least 3 hours a day, but I have to go to the bathroom sometimes, you know? :

He is better when his siblings are home from school, he'll play a little with them as long as I am in the room.

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#10 of 14 Old 10-13-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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My little one has been in the phase for a couple of weeks now too, also 10 months. He's also been sick with a cold which I think has made him extra clingy. I keep thinking he's on the verge of walking.... but we'll see. He's somewhat content if I sit with him on the floor and actively play with him, but then sometimes that does turn into him playing on me. I keep thinking I should wear him more, but then he still wants to be down on the floor exploring so much.

I do enjoy the cuddles though, as he has not been a super cuddly baby until recently.
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#11 of 14 Old 10-13-2010, 03:13 PM
 
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agreed that it's developmental. But also - did anything happen - like family gathering where he was "passed around" or a big festival where he might not have seen you the whole time? It does pass - just hang in there and enjoy that you don't "embarass" him like when he's older.

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#12 of 14 Old 10-14-2010, 12:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
agreed that it's developmental. But also - did anything happen - like family gathering where he was "passed around" or a big festival where he might not have seen you the whole time? It does pass - just hang in there and enjoy that you don't "embarass" him like when he's older.
We went to a big play date, but he was with me the whole time, and most of the people he knew :

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#13 of 14 Old 10-13-2011, 05:12 PM
 
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Carmel23, I am so happy you posted this.  It was like you posted for me.  My daughter is still crawling but nearing walking.  She just turned 10 months this weekend.  She prefers for us to hunch over and let her hang on to our hands to walk around.  She even prefers this over being held.  When we sit down for dinner, she screams and cries until I put her on my lap and once she is on my lap, she wiggles her way down with her little hands wrapped around my fingers so I can walk her around.  I feel like she is too scared to let go of me when she walks.  

 

I do like what Asiago posted though.  Makes it a little better, but man, I would love for her to give my back a break! 

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#14 of 14 Old 10-22-2011, 05:41 AM
 
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BK Mommy, I know what you're saying about your back! My whole left side has been killing me since three days. I'm constantly carrying around my 23-24 pound 8-month old on my left hip and it's affecting everything from my wrist, to my elbow, to my foot, to my shoulder, etc. I try switching to the right side but I'm not as comfortable that way. I guess I should try using the Ergo as much as possible but for some things it's impossible not to have to lift him - for ex: bathtime, putting him in his crib and taking him out (which is anywhere from 3-7 times a night), or just quick getting him around the house.

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