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Old 10-19-2010, 08:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 8 month old daughter has started screaming and crying if you take something from her. Not that i make a habit of that but sometimes we have to put something away or she manages to get something she shouldn't have. Being a first time mom I am not sure how to deal with it. She also will scream and cry if she just gets mad ( i set her down, we walk into a different room, diaper change when she doesn't want it).
Is this developmental? Is it a problem? How do I handle it?
Any advice is welcome.
(I always pick her up when she cries just to be clear and i plan on doing that much but i'm unsure how to handle it when its over a toy or diaper change)
Thanks so much!!

Christine:: wonderful DH and precious DD(2/10)::
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:17 PM
 
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Well, if someone took something away from me that I was interested in checking out, that I had never seen before, I would probably get upset.

Because I can use other words then crying, I'd probably ask for it back.

But your baby doesn't have other words, her crying is her way to communicate with you--that she doesn't like something. It is totally normal.

Just try to distract her--give her something else she *can* have, when you put her down, give her something to play with, set her down, play with it for a minute your self, talk about it.

For example I'll pick up a toy , set my little one down and say, "ooo, look! It is speedy! Isn't he the best? You take care of speedy, mama will be right back."

Any time I take something from my little one, I say "thank you!" So it is a nice thing, like he is giving it to me, and is helpful. That plus giving him something he can have usually mitigates the fussing.

Except for last night-- he had a container of crayola fingerpaints that he really, really liked. It was time for bed, so I took it from him. He was *MAD* for a good 10 minutes. But that isn't exactly something we can take to bed, you know....

Normal.

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Old 10-19-2010, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your reply. sometimes i just need someone to tell me its ok and normal...
Unfortunately my family just keeps telling me she is spoiled and i better do something about it before it gets worse...

Christine:: wonderful DH and precious DD(2/10)::
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Old 10-19-2010, 11:10 PM
 
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Totally normal. If I must take something away then I try to replace it with something else interesting. This has nothing to do with being spoiled, which an 8 month old can't be. I bet if someone took away your family member's nice shiny, brand new cell phone, they would pitch a fit as well.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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Old 10-19-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaWojo View Post
Thanks for your reply. sometimes i just need someone to tell me its ok and normal...
Unfortunately my family just keeps telling me she is spoiled and i better do something about it before it gets worse...
No mama, your baby is not spoiled. You are doing a great job!

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Old 10-19-2010, 11:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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you ladies are awesome thanks for making me feel better

Christine:: wonderful DH and precious DD(2/10)::
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Old 10-20-2010, 12:58 AM
 
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I second the distraction/trade technique. I also think sometimes we forget to TALK to our babies. It actually really helps if you talk to her about what you are going to do before you do it. "Sorry, babe, you can't play with that, you could get hurt. Let's go find something else to play with." Try to treat her as you would like to be treated (if you couldn't talk or walk or feed yourself ).
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Old 10-20-2010, 04:13 AM
 
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Distraction and redirection are your best friends in this situation. My DS is the same way and I do this all the time and it works really well. He'll be screaming that I've just taken something away, until he sees the next exciting toy I wave in front of his face (I also say "look look look look look!!!") and then he goes from screaming to "oooooooh what's that" in a millisecond! It's kind of funny.

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