Does your LO have a "lovey"? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Xposted in Toddlers...

 

I have been trying to introduce a "lovey" to my 11 month old LO for quite sometime. I tried stuffed animals, pieces of cloth from my clothing, blankets, etc...but he hasn't attached himself to anything.

 

I know this is normal- and I certainly can't force an attachment to anything-- but I was just curious, does your LO have one...and if so, when did he or she attach to it?

 

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#2 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 05:00 PM
 
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DD is almost 8 months and she does'nt have one. She's not particularly attached to any one thing at the moment.


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#3 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 06:02 PM
 
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Ds is two now & I tried introducing a lovey a few times. NO interest.

 

A friend of mine said her kids didn't really become attached to something until they were 3, or close to.


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#4 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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my little guy is only 6 months...and isn't even remotely attached to anything. my family thinks it's a little strange as my nephews all have their special blankies that they can't sleep without.  it's an interesting question though...i don't understand the logic behind getting them attached to something...is there something i'm missing? should we be trying to find something?

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#5 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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She does, but she is only sometimes attached to it (she is 7 months old). She will actively seek it out amongst her toys and cuddle it sometimes, and other times she throws it aside in favor of more interactive toys. Her lovey is a Bitty Bu from Tickety Bu.

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#6 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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J is 6 m.o. and isn't attached to anything (except us of course orngtongue.gif ). I'm fine with that, means no trauma when it has to be washed or gets lost or whatever.


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#7 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 07:29 PM
 
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We tried to intro one when we started the NCSS, but with no luck.

 

Then DS attatched to one all by himself, its a small foam bug, out of a foam type book about colors. It must be near at all times now! Even in the tub. When he plays with other toys, he must 'check' on it to make sure its nearby. This is my DS w/ his lovey bug.

 

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#8 of 23 Old 11-12-2010, 08:08 PM
 
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DD has her bunny that we started to give her at bedtime and naptime around 4 months old. She loves it and it's come in handy at times. Of course, when she started daycare, I had to get a 2nd one (to leave at daycare) on eBay for 4x what I originally paid since they don't make them anymore. Lesson learned. With DS, we have 3 elephants. Now we'll have to see if he takes to it.

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#9 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 03:44 AM
 
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DS gravitates towards anything minky or soft fleece. his official loveys are the angel dear small blankeys (we have the giraffe and the frog) but any soft, minky fabric will do in pinch. Our blankets are a plush sort of material (the Target plush blankets they sell every winter) and he always reaches out to cuddle that when in bed with us.  My mom noticed one day when he was only a couple months old and sucking his thumb, that it looked like his other hand was searching for something to cuddle. So we introduced a lovey then.

 

He only uses his loveys in bed or in the car (we have a lovey that stays in each car) but if there is a similiar piece of fabric around on the floor, he will curl up with it for a minute and suck his thumb and move on once he has got his "fix" it is too cute!


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#10 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 08:48 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaladd View Post

my little guy is only 6 months...and isn't even remotely attached to anything. my family thinks it's a little strange as my nephews all have their special blankies that they can't sleep without.  it's an interesting question though...i don't understand the logic behind getting them attached to something...is there something i'm missing? should we be trying to find something?


Me either. Can anybody shed some light on this?
 


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#11 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 09:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cocoanib View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaladd View Post

my little guy is only 6 months...and isn't even remotely attached to anything. my family thinks it's a little strange as my nephews all have their special blankies that they can't sleep without.  it's an interesting question though...i don't understand the logic behind getting them attached to something...is there something i'm missing? should we be trying to find something?


Me either. Can anybody shed some light on this?
 

 

Well for us it's about situations where we can't comfort him, for example in the car if I'm alone with him (he hates the car!). Right now we're about to attempt to transition DS into a crib for naps, and for the last month or so I've been trying to get him into a lovey so I can put it in his crib for naps and maybe it'll help him sleep better. But no such luck. I tuck it in between us when we nurse sometimes, and bring it to bed with us, but he doesn't seem to even notice it.
 


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#12 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 09:57 AM
 
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DS would suck on cloth things to soothe himself to sleep starting at around 5 months...he has a certain blankie that he liked to suck and out on his face.  Then I got him an Under the Nile buddy doll and he liked that for a while (especially sucking and chewing on the stuffed hands!).  Now he is fairly attached to his monster fluffie.  He loveds to suck and play with the ribbon and puts the minky side on his face and sucks it to fall asleep. 

We cosleep but DS goes to bed before us so it is nice that he has his fluffie to soothe himself with if we are not in bed with him.  And it helps him go down for naps too.  He isn't crazy attached to it...it's ok if it's in the wash but he does like it a lot and goes to sleep more easily when he has it. 

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#13 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 09:57 AM
 
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I've never understood trying to get a kid attached to something.  I hate having to keep track of such things.  My eldest became attached to an old t-shirt of mine that I often slept in. This was at about 14 months until about 3.5 years.   My second needed to hold my hair, even after I cut it short!  My third also likes to sleep holding my hair.  My 4th has a whole bunch of silk scarves.  We actually tie dyed these for her (and her twin) while pregnant with them.  She calls them her "rubbys" and like to have all of them.  I started using them at about 4 months to keep sister from pulling her hair while nursing (and to cover my bell roll!)  and she just took to them.  She still needs them at 3.5 years.


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#14 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 09:59 AM
 
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The reason I would like for Cecilia to feel attached to a lovey is because of what a previous posted stated-- self-soothing, especially in places like the car where I can't pick her up and snuggle her. Cecilia doesn't really like being in the car for very long, and in every other aspect of her life she is snuggled when she is sad, so something to help soothe her is not a bad thing. Her loveys came in a set of two--so smart! That way there is always one around if the other one is in the wash, or one can be in the house and the other in the car.

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#15 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 04:05 PM
 
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my guy has a snugglebug (little cute bug nestled in a silky sleeping bag - Manhattan Toy) that he loves to hold against him in bed.  we only use it to soothe him when he's been down for a nap or for night.  he's had it since birth, but he only now in the past 3 or so months will be soothed by it to the point of not crying when we put him down if he has it.  so it's been a gradual attachment.  it is very useful when we travel with him, as it signals that he is bundled in FOR SLEEP even in unfamiliar hotel rooms, in planes, etc.  it's small, it's cute, and it's easy to wash, and  i'm very glad we have it.   he won't carry on if he DOESN'T have it, it just eases that transition from wake to sleep very well.  sleeping.gif


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#16 of 23 Old 11-13-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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My DS at 10 months doesn't have a lovey, but is very attached to nursing. I have a toy dragon that we keep in the carseat but it's really my lovey because I think it's so cute. DS does like it but is not attached. I honestly enjoy being his lovey though. loveeyes.gif


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#17 of 23 Old 11-14-2010, 09:32 AM
 
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My kids never had a lovey for self-soothing.  It ended up being something they needed in addition to nursing, hugging, snuggling, playing with my hair, holding my hand, etc.  So it was just one more thing to keep track of!  I never lost my hair or my breasts in the chaos of my home!


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#18 of 23 Old 11-15-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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Honestly with ds 1 it was his binky. Even if he didn't put it in his mouth he was much happier just holding it and playing with it.... I kept trying to introduce something to help him nap better without me, like my old nightshirt. But no luck. Funny now at 5 he is very attached to his baby doll and needs it every night. We've even had to come home and get it after running out on errands without it. Same thing with stuffed animals, never really cared for them until he was 3 or so.

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#19 of 23 Old 11-15-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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Honestly, I think my hair is her lovey.  In the past week or so DD suddenly likes to fall asleep on the bed with me curled up facing her.  She grabs my hair and rubs it against her face until she falls asleep, as many babies do with a special blankie, etc.  It's...weird.  But whatever works, right?

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#20 of 23 Old 11-15-2010, 05:24 PM
 
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My DD is 14 months and has no lovey. The theory is that if they have a lovey they will attach to it and be able to soothe themselves to sleep. I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, I always had a stuffed animal to sleep with when I was a kid, and in fact I still have it somewhere. But, I also think that some kids get too attached to their loveys. I personally don't want DD to get too attached to an inanimate object, not sure why I feel this way. At any rate, she has stuffed animals in her crib, but doesn't show much interest. She also has blankets and such, but nothing she really loves to play with or carry around all the time. Frankly, I think my boob is her lovey for now, and I am happy with that. love.gif


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#21 of 23 Old 11-15-2010, 09:46 PM
 
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Yes. Well, kind of. I made some homemade blankets with the silky ribbon around them. I keep them with him all the time. Nursing, sleeping, in the car, at the store. I have some smaller ones for when he's in the crib but usually he's in the swing so I'm not worried about him putting it over his face. My reason for a lovey is just from my experience with my own and other kids. Both my daughters sucked something. DD1 sucked her fingers, DD2 sucked her blankie (burp rags I used). DD1 also had blankies (burp rags). DS1 had nothing. It was hard. He was fairly sick. Allergic colitis. Lots of screaming. Anemic by 6 mths. BAD separation anxiety. Nothing soothed him. I needed a break sometimes and there was nothing to help him. I finally kind of forced a cotton blanket on him. He still sleeps with those and they did end up helping soothe him by around age 2. I decided to give DS2 a pacifier. We started from day 1. No luck. I've tried every kind I can find. He just doesn't like them. AT ALL. SO, I've done the blankets. For me, I need them to have something that helps when I can't be with them. I co-sleep. I rarely am away from him. But, when I am, I want something familiar there. I work in the church nursery and have for several years. I've done daycare. I've nannied. I've just found that, most of the time, it helps kids to adjust when they have something to help them. Some kids seem to do fine without anything, but not many. Some kids don't mind whose it is or where it came from-a stuffed animal, a blanket, etc. But, I like having one that he always has, anywhere and everywhere, and I've made several so that if one gets lost it's okay. If ones dirty, no problem.  But, all this said, to each his own. Every family is different. Every child is different. Do whatever works for you. 

 


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#22 of 23 Old 11-15-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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My kiddo has a blankie my friend made her.  It is a fleece blanket with ribbon tags on it.  She got it when she was 2 or 3 months old.  I didn't intend to force attachment, but it was cute and a gift so I kept it around her as something she could hold and to keep her warm in the car.  I guess she naturally just eventually attached to it.  She has since made up a sign just for it (and it is the same sign for nursing for her... made up obviously haha)  I'm happy she attached to it.  It helps her sleep and it gives her something else to cuddle when she is unhappy or hurt.  I do think it helps calm her down more than if it were just me.  I hold her and she holds it.  She loves to play with one specific ribbon, especially when nursing to sleep.  She also uses it to put her toys 'to bed' and to pretend to clean.  It has monkeys on it and she loves monkeys.  Its just all around a good thing.  I very rarely forget to make sure it comes with us.  Its just part of the routine of making sure we have what we need... plus she often grabs it on her own anyway.  I keep track of it like I would another child.  No big deal to me.

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#23 of 23 Old 11-16-2010, 10:21 AM
 
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My daughter is almost 1 year old and she does have a lovey but it wasn't because I tried for it. She has been sleeping with her little pink, glowing seahorse since she was a tiny baby (maybe 3 or 4 months?) and it really helps her drift off to sleep. Anyway, she loves that silly thing and gets really excited when she sees it. It calms her down if she's really upset also. It's pretty cute, honestly.


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