The Need for Baby to Fall Asleep on His Own? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 40 Old 02-03-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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Thank you for this...nicely said.
 

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Originally Posted by flavorfull1 View Post

I know exactly what you are talking about. The longest stretches of sleep I got after DS turned 3.5 months was 45 min with maybe one two hour stretch one night a week. I am not exaggerating!  This lasted until about 12 months where we are now.  I really felt like I was going to lose my sanity with the up every fifteen minutes and literally nursing more than 24 times in a 24 hour period.  I know the amount because I was reading NCSS and that is part of what you document.  I think you have gotten some good advice in this thread.  Currently, DS is going back to sleeping in two to three hour segments with a 3-4 hour segment at the first of the night.  The key or answer to everything?  They just have to grow and mature into it.

 

DS is a light sleeper so there are things I can do to have more of a sleep conducive environment but when he is figuring out something developmentally, it just will not happen.  I really think it was crucial that DH was/is involved.  Right now, I nurse DS and then DH walks him to sleep in the Ergo at night.  I LOVE this because it is a guilt free break where DS is going to sleep without me!  This could not have happened three months ago.  I guess what I am saying is to be gentle with yourself and your LO.  This is a short time and just like figuring out rolling over and walking, your LO will figure out sleeping.  It is really hard and please find little outlets throughout the day to keep your sanity.  It won't last forever, they grow up super fast! Hang in there and yes it sucks!



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#32 of 40 Old 02-03-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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I honestly believe sleep has so much to do with the baby's personality, and aside from possibly CIO, most methods aren't going to completely "rehabilitate" a poor sleeper.  DD1 needed intense parenting to help her fall asleep until 2.5.  DH used to walk in circles around the house with her for 20 min.-over an hour until she was about 16 mo. old.  Then it was laying with her until complete sleep.  It's just been in the past month or so that we can read a book and pretty much say goodnight (she'll be 3 in a few weeks). 

She's doing so well with sleep now and I'm SO glad that we always met her needs (although there were many, many nights when I just wanted to let her CIO) when she was younger. 

DD2 however is a nurse and lay down type and she always has been.  She doesn't sleep very well through the night, but she's 8.5 mo old and in a classic regression period.

 

I don't really know what my point is, just know that it will pass and eventually you WILL be able to lay them down and they WILL sleep.  All the way through the night.

 

Good luck!


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#33 of 40 Old 02-03-2011, 06:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. It's always interesting to come on to this forum and read about how everyone figures out sleep with their particular little one. It just shows what a huge range of sleep personalities there are and how we do our best to guide them into a healthy night. The more I read the more I think I understand that DS's sleep issues are on the extreme end of the spectrum. Tonight is the great swaddling experiment and he only lasted 15 minutes, then another 15 min. I should clarify that when the little guy wakes, he is 0 to 100 in seconds. There is no whining or whimpering but screaming standing up in the crib with his arms outstretched in the dark. He is really such an active baby. Ever since he rolled over at 11 wks, it's been like this at night. Ironically his longest stretch occurred on a night when I was home alone and I thought we might have a gas leak. I called the company, took DS out of his crib, wrapped him in a blanket, took him out into the snowing freezing night across the street to a neighbor's house, sat there with him on my lap for an hour, walked back into snowy night and put him back in the crib. Never woke. But then after that, he woke every 30 min all night long. Go figure. I guess it's just hard because nothing is really working. Last night he woke in the middle of the night and I was up with him for 2 hours. I have no interest in sleep training, though-lol-I have certainly been trained through all this! Somehow it's not terrible, and somehow I cobble enough sleep together, and if I feel overtired, I do not drive that day and try to nap with him. But, he will outgrow this, right??? 


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#34 of 40 Old 02-04-2011, 07:34 AM
 
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Hi mama, I can relate to a lot of what you're dealing with... (nak btw). When you do cosleep w/him, does he still wake as often and does he still do the 0-100 screaming? If not, I'd say stick with cosleeping for a while. But if he"'s just as upset, maybe it is food or gas related. Is he on solids/how much/what kinds? I have to watch how many gassy foods myDD eats, as it def affects her nighttime rest (not easy as we're vegetarians and she loves broccoli and beans!). With her on her back, I'll playfully jog, pedal, jump, hop, etc. her legs, gently pushing her knees towards her belly. If she is really upset or having a hard time sleeping, this often results in a TOOT! (or two...)
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#35 of 40 Old 02-04-2011, 07:48 AM
 
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In my grand experience of 2 - I would say you can also just give it time. I KNOW it feels like it's going on forever and ever...but starting around 4 months a lot of babies go through big developmental spurts that can last a while, and the pattern you are describing is quite common. Frustrating and exhausting as anything, though!

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#36 of 40 Old 02-04-2011, 08:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Lucy, I think it is better with cosleeping, thank goodness. He'll wake and start to cry but I'm right there and it's easier to get him back on track. Every once in a while he actually falls back asleep on his own which he never does in the crib. I think he might be wakinga little less in the bed too, and I am finding that I can use my body like the function of a swaddle for him with a hand across his body or tucked under his hip and it seems to help. He needs that stability and steadiness to really get calm and I am more effective than a swaddle which he just fights with. I think I have to accept that he is not going to be an independent napper or sleeper for a while and that is okay. t is too bad he wakes sooo much in the crib. It would be great to have an uninterrupted hour or so at night, but I think I can work with the cosleeping and hopefully see a little improvement with consistency. Thanks everyone!


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#37 of 40 Old 02-04-2011, 10:39 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slgt View Post

In my grand experience of 2 - I would say you can also just give it time. I KNOW it feels like it's going on forever and ever...but starting around 4 months a lot of babies go through big developmental spurts that can last a while, and the pattern you are describing is quite common. Frustrating and exhausting as anything, though!


And again at 8 months, so it seems. I finally got DS STTN at around 7 months just to have him hit the 8 month "regression". Joy. Then he got sick & has been up almost every hour for the past week. Last night was better, so we'll move forward again.

 

One thing that I was reminded of (again) though this, was that, even though our preference is to have him in his own crib, sometimes co-sleeping is the best for both mama and baby. When he has rough nights (or weeks), I don't hesitate to bring him to bed with us. Once he seems to be sleeping soundly with us, then I start transitioning him back to his crib. He always starts the night in his crib.. it's staying there that is our struggle.

 

Hope things are going better. I think the first year or two (from what I've been told) is a lot of one-step-forward, two-steps-back as far as sleeping is concerned. Just remember, there is an end to it. :)


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#38 of 40 Old 02-04-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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Ha! Your ds & my dd have a bit in common. smile.gif The 0-100 crying is just what she does too, and I feel like i'm wrestling her sometimes while being her swaddle. My dd is 11 mos, and there was a bright spot at 9 months---I was finally able to put her down in the crib without her waking and screaming. Then i bring her into bed after her first waking. Naps are another start though... eyesroll.gif But I just keep reminding myself that I'll miss all of this soon enough, and enjoy every minute, even the tough ones.
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#39 of 40 Old 02-05-2011, 06:56 PM
 
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8 month regression? really? hmmm...I'm really hoping that explains our current situation and it will get better!

Just jumping in as I can relate. We have just gone from co-sleeping to my ds sleeping in his own crib. I can't say it has gone wonderfully but he is adjusting. I knew it would be rough initially. I have read some of the baby whisperer stuff and the NCSS. I agree that every baby is so unique. I initially started with one strategy but my methods have morphed into a blend of the two with my own additions as well. My ds also was pretty ingrained in the habit of nursing when he would waken. I still nurse him when he wakes initially. And there are times that I put him in his crib asleep straight from the breast. there are other times when I put him in his crib sleepy. If he starts to get worked up or reawakens minutes later, I don't get back in the rocking chair with him as he will expect the breast. I find if I stay standing, he is more accepting of comfort rather than insisting on the breast. There are nights when there are tears but I stay right there with him, comfort him any way I can and we get through it. He's doing well 2 weeks into it...well, considering he's teething and quite miserable at times. For us, he would have likely preferred to stay in bed with me but it was getting unsafe to be using the side-carred crib. But giving him his own space has meant 2-4 wake ups a night rather than the 4-6 or more as it was before. I'm not saying this is the solution for all. I think co-sleeping is often the best for babies. But for us, it was time to make this change. and I think it has benefited him. Once these teeth break through, I'll see if we can cut the wake ups to twice a night using the NCSS stuff. right now, I'm ok with things being as they are...sometimes you just need to get through it/survive, you know?

it is nice to know we're not alone in this nighttime journey...and nice to hear from moms of older babies to remind us that is DOES get better!


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Infertility has been part of this journey - no more littles for us, but so grateful we have two happy healthy boys and we can now begin to heal from that experience

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#40 of 40 Old 02-05-2011, 10:00 PM
 
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We are also in the no sleep camp with our 9 month old DD.  I've spoken of it in other threads, not going to go into it here, but I'm definitely with you all. 


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