Where are the Sept '10 babies? - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 658 Old 05-06-2011, 07:46 PM
 
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I chose to be a SAHM because I can... and because I couldn't with the first two and I hated leaving them every day. 

I agree, you can always work later... you can't make your children be babies again though.


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#362 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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I am a SAHM and while there are certainly positives and negatives to any choice, overall I'm happy.  I essentially left work for my maternity leave and then never went back.  We had decided this would be the plan well before I even got pregnant.  Our reasoning was that we were fortunate enough to be able to do OK with just my husband's salary, and realistically with the cost of good daycare being what it is (we'd have wanted a very small private daycare if not personal, in-home care, so the cost was pretty high) I would have been working 'just' to cover the costs of daycare.  Not that that isn't a valid choice if working is very important to you---I have plenty of friends who may not 'need' the finances but honestly really enjoy their jobs and it makes them a better mom in the long run to be doing something they love while also getting an opportunity to parent.  But for me, my career wasn't really going where I wanted it to go so I wasn't walking away from something I was terribly passionate about.

 

I also knew that I wouldn't be a good working mom.  I just didn't think I would balance it all well.  I find childcare and managing the basic household 'stuff' very time-consuming these days---for me, I think it would just have been too much. 

 

I love that I am with my child every day.  My husband works incredibly long hours, often months (literally) go by without him taking a single day off.  he works at least 12 hours a day, so in many respects I'm a single-parent in that it's all me, only me for 99% of my son's waking hours.  My husband tries to come home for an hour or so during the day to see/play with him/feed him but then has to go back to work.  So, for us, it was important that at least one of us 'got' to be there as much as possible since we knew my husband's schedule will be like this for at least another two years. 

 

I won't lie---some days I desperately miss being able to be in an office.  I miss being able to eat lunch when I want to (or at all!) and i miss being able to just jump online and pay bills or kill time.  I miss being able to take a sick day.  I miss being able to go to the gym and see other adults.  I still haven't been able to find a good balance in my life yet, but in the long run when I look back on these days I honestly don't think I'll remember the bad days when I'm just dying to have some alone time as much as I'll remember the joy of spending as much time as possible with my first-born son.  I do wish I could work out having some type of babysitter/mother's helper for 1 or 2 days a week though as I really miss the gym :)

 

 

I am shocked by the negative response I have encountered from so many about my decision, though.  Just the other day a doctor commented to me that it was a shame that I was so highly educated and staying at home, didn't I feel as if I was wasting opportunities, etc.  I never know what to say to people to say things like that.  Except that no, I don't feel like I'm wasting anything.  It also bugs me when people insinuate that I'm not working at all.  believe me---and I know I don't have to tell anyone here this---being a SAHM is work.  I'm working from the moment I get up (and I never get a sleep-in day :) ) til the moment I go to bed.  Sneaking time to be online is only accomplished when my son is sleeping and I can sit down a moment and grab a quick bite to eat.  But, like right now, those moments are fleeting, so off I go again :)

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#363 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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Thanks for your responses, everyone.  It always really helps me to hear the thoughts and experiences of others, even if I'm the only one who can make the final decision!

 

Financially, we can swing it...it's actually *costing* me to work right now (about $30/month) although it won't with the increase in hours in Sept.

 

My gut tells me that I'll probably decide to SAH, even as my brain panics at the thought.  I so feel like I'm doing a crappy job at balancing work/parenting, and, like angelinamerica, my DH works incredibly long hours, including weekends, and pretty much never takes time off.  So most of the parenting and housekeeping also falls onto me...I have no idea how single mamas and mamas with spouses in the military (or who travel frequently for work) do it!

 

Thanks again!


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#364 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 10:34 AM
 
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I've been toying with the idea of being SAHM.  I'm probably not going to do it though.  The reasons I currently want to stay home are less about wanting to be a mommy and more about being really pissed about my job.
  I want a break, and quitting to be SAHM would not be a break. ;)

 

 


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#365 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 12:09 PM
 
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angelinamerica - I have a masters degree in engineering, and I expected more people to mention the "wasting my education" stuff to me, but I'm thankful to not really get that from people. But I always just say that no, I don't feel like I'm wasting anything. Really, any more explanation isn't their business, and judgy people just like to judge anyway, no matter what you say. :)


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#366 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 01:09 PM
 
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Hi Ladies-

Hannah and I are doing very well.  She is a little over 8 months and started to crawl on Easter.  She is so much smaller than DD1 was, so it is cute to see her crawling.  We are waiting on solids until some allergy tests come back, which should be any time.  Big sister loves her most of the time, but has occasionally hit her or pushed her.

 

I was working (part time from home) when DD1 was born and continued until she was a year and I just decided that I was not doing a good job at either and stopped.  I understand what you ladies are going through.  I am very happy with our decision, although I have several friends that do not like being at home, so it has to work for you.

 

Here is a photo of Hannah about a month ago and one of me wearing both girls...

 

IMG_1077.JPGIMG_1241.JPG


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#367 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 01:17 PM
 
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Also, pretty funny, Hannah has 3 BOTTOM teeth and nothing on top.  So funny looking.  We will see if #4 is a bottom or top.  She seems to be teething up a storm.  All three came in within 2 weeks.  (just after 7 months)  Yikes.


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#368 of 658 Old 05-07-2011, 02:37 PM
 
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Mae still has none. Got her two new teethers though in anticipation, by high request. I'm currently listening to her squeek her Sophie the Giraffe constantly... she loves that thing! Also, a RazBABY... which she loves the texture of on her gums.

 

So at least when she does start to teeth... she has those.


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#369 of 658 Old 05-08-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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Hey! Love all the beautiful pics everyone is posting! We have some photogenic babies and great photographers!

 

I just want to say to angelinamerica and anyone else that I totally agree that it is awful when people under value the very difficult and important job of raising children. What better than an educated mother to provide the best possible education for my child? Our society seems to think that children are not so important and that the task of raising them can be done by anyone. They think that if economically you can make more than you would have to pay to a childcare provider, then you should work. Well, children get an incredible amount out of being with their mother for the early years of life (assuming that mom has no mental or substance abuse issues). They will learn a ton, and the more educated you are, the more they will probably learn from you. Furthermore, you will produce strong, productive, healthy individuals to society, who will eventually be running this country, paying taxes to fund programs, etc. Not to mention, you probably get a lot out of being with your children too! As hard as it is some days, there are so many moments to treasure.

 

By the way, I am not a SAHM, and I hope I don't offend any non-SAHMs. I work/study part-time. I sometimes wish I could stay home full time, and other times am glad to have a life outside of my children. I think it is important that they get the right care and am very careful about choosing care providers for them. It is not an easy task!

 

I love hearing everyone's point of view on this topic! :)


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#370 of 658 Old 05-08-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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First, happy Mother's Day, everyone!

 

Second, I love what you had to say below, porcelina!  Just a very lovely, thoughtful posting!  (And I agree, it really is wonderful to hear everyone's opinion on the topic.)

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Originally Posted by porcelina View Post

Hey! Love all the beautiful pics everyone is posting! We have some photogenic babies and great photographers!

 

I just want to say to angelinamerica and anyone else that I totally agree that it is awful when people under value the very difficult and important job of raising children. What better than an educated mother to provide the best possible education for my child? Our society seems to think that children are not so important and that the task of raising them can be done by anyone. They think that if economically you can make more than you would have to pay to a childcare provider, then you should work. Well, children get an incredible amount out of being with their mother for the early years of life (assuming that mom has no mental or substance abuse issues). They will learn a ton, and the more educated you are, the more they will probably learn from you. Furthermore, you will produce strong, productive, healthy individuals to society, who will eventually be running this country, paying taxes to fund programs, etc. Not to mention, you probably get a lot out of being with your children too! As hard as it is some days, there are so many moments to treasure.

 

By the way, I am not a SAHM, and I hope I don't offend any non-SAHMs. I work/study part-time. I sometimes wish I could stay home full time, and other times am glad to have a life outside of my children. I think it is important that they get the right care and am very careful about choosing care providers for them. It is not an easy task!

 

I love hearing everyone's point of view on this topic! :)



 


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#371 of 658 Old 05-08-2011, 05:47 PM
 
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Ah, for Mother's Day, Caitlin had me awake from 3 until 6 this morning, got me some lovely gifts, then just as I was getting her to sleep tonight, she woke up crying and vomited massively all over me and the rocking chair. Lovely. Still, I'm overjoyed to be able to enjoy this day as a mama for the first time ever. :)


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#372 of 658 Old 05-08-2011, 05:48 PM
 
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Ah, for Mother's Day, Caitlin had me awake from 3 until 6 this morning, got me some lovely gifts, then just as I was getting her to sleep tonight, she woke up crying and vomited massively all over me and the rocking chair. Lovely. Still, I'm overjoyed to be able to enjoy this day as a mama for the first time ever. :)

 

Oh, and now post-vomit she's wide awake and happy. Could be a long night.


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#373 of 658 Old 05-09-2011, 07:08 PM
 
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Hey all, Happy Late Mother's Day! 

 

M is doing well, besides bumps and bruises, from constantly trying to stand and then falling down! In the last week he got 2 teeth! They are coming in very slowly so he looks kinda funny, the first is probably about half way in, the other is just barely sticking out. :D He's already learned to use them on apple slices. He LOVES solids! I only give him fruits, veggies, and meat/eggs so I have to always make sure we have some of those for him as he gets really upset about missing a meal! He's a funny boy who knows what he wants. :) 


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#374 of 658 Old 05-10-2011, 09:13 AM
 
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Been sick a few days but Mae is just fine... She stands unsupported for a few seconds at a time and seems to get braver and braver. Also, we have a push toy she has no problem walking holding on to... just a matter of getting the confidence not to use it!

 

Still no teeth... but she's been trying to rip off my nipple the past few days!


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#375 of 658 Old 05-12-2011, 05:34 AM
 
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We have a TOOTH! Finally! That would be why, if Sophie and the Razbaby weren't in her mouth, my nipples were her favorite chew toy.

 

Also, last night I caught her climbing on a box to reach higher up. Seriously? Her brother and sister were at least a year old when they figured that one out :(


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#376 of 658 Old 05-12-2011, 08:50 AM
 
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So is anyone else going a little crazy CONSTANTLY keeping an eye on their mobile baby? Caden crawls and climbs on anything he possibly can and eats every little speck on the floor. I think I need a cowbell for his neck so I can actually leave the room!

 

sk8boarder, C has lots of bruises too! When he started crawling, I had to remind myself cruising was causing the bruising, not some terrible disease he'd suddenly gotten!

 

On Mother's Day, I got to wake up at 5:15:) Babies just know when a special day is and want to celebrate it starting VERY early:)

 

And no, no teeth here yet! I guess that's a good thing: less biting of me and less chance he'll fall and break one? 

 

Glad to see everyone is doing well and I love looking at the baby pics:):)

 


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#377 of 658 Old 05-13-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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Also been MIA - i read on my phone but can't really post. Tiisetso is nearly 8 months old and had two teeth (got them at 6 months). He doesn't have much of an appetite, but loves to feed himself and join us at the dinner table. :)

 

He's trying desperately to crawl, and ends up scooting backwards which frustrates him tremendously. He's recently started bathing with his big brother and practically leaps out of my arms into the bath. It's very cute.

 

The SAHM question. I am a SAHM, it was meant to be for a limited time, but I'm really struggling to find a job - it makes me happy that I'm home with him. But we need to eat too lol! I'm hustling though :) I feel if you can afford it - then do it! You can't rewind your child growing up - but there's time for everything else :D

 

 


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#378 of 658 Old 05-13-2011, 05:21 PM
 
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*cough*  Remember this?  LMAO.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sere234 View Post

S8boarder- love the pic of baby M! So cute!!

 

Caden has just started sitting up too. And dare I say this: I'm actually looking forward to when he can crawl. Me coming in every couple of minutes to move my whining and bored baby is getting a bit old eyesroll.gif.  I'll get hims started playing on the floor and then run off to do/get something. While I'm gone, he always rolls to his tummy and scoots around for a bit, and then just generally gives up on life and whines. But CRAWLING!!! He'll amuse himself to no end! Get every toy he wants! Explore everything and never be bored!! Right?  :)

 

Moms who have 2+ kids may now tell me I'm crazy. 



 


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#379 of 658 Old 05-14-2011, 04:19 AM
 
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YES!!! I was thinking about that the other day and when I posted! HAHAHA!!!

To be honest, C loves crawling and is happier mobile but yep, you all were right to not wish it here quickly:)

A baby that only rolls. Sigh. What will be next??? WALKING?!?!? Talking back to me??? Screaming in anger?!?!

Oh dear...

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#380 of 658 Old 05-14-2011, 05:29 AM
 
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Mae is just getting too big. I took her outside the other day while the big two ran through the sprinkler... and she got up on her hands and feet and "baby bear"ed it over to where the sprinkler would hit her too... and just sat there and held her hands out every time the water would go over her.

 

We finally know about when Daddy will be home! Its a couple weeks sooner than we thought :D


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#381 of 658 Old 05-14-2011, 08:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Miss I hate headbands!

007.JPG

 

Best big sister ever!

 

009.JPG

 

Here she is climbing the stairs.. very pleased with her baby self! 

 

002.JPG


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#382 of 658 Old 05-14-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sere234 View Post


A baby that only rolls. Sigh. What will be next??? WALKING?!?!? Talking back to me??? Screaming in anger?!?!

 


Yes, yes, and yes, hahahaha.  But it's all very awesome, too.

 

And good news Mae!


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#383 of 658 Old 05-16-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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226862_10150183982026400_709041399_7470861_8301038_n.jpg baby... please don't walk til daddy gets home!

 

227170_10150183671761400_709041399_7467275_1064892_n.jpg Talking to daddy!!!!!!!!!


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#384 of 658 Old 05-16-2011, 02:14 PM
 
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Ozzy is cross-crawling.  Help.


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#385 of 658 Old 05-17-2011, 04:42 AM
 
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Ozzy is cross-crawling.  Help.



lol its all downhill from there! wasnt long after that that Mae started pulling up, cruising and practicing standing without support


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#386 of 658 Old 05-17-2011, 05:06 AM
 
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Caitlin really wants to crawl, and at this point, I think I'm ready for it to happen. Not because I think it will be easier during the day, but because maybe she'll finally decide sleep is OK again. She's never been a great sleeper, but the last week or so has been pretty awful. She slept last night from 8 until 9:30, then was up until 1:30 and only slept (not without waking) until 7:30 this morning. Dear daughter, please work this crawling practice out of your system so that we can get back to some semblance of sleeping at night!


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#387 of 658 Old 05-17-2011, 05:12 AM
 
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yeah, days when Mae gets down and moves more (like yesterday when I found her in the kitchen multiple times, thankfully it is baby proofed!) she sleeps like a rock all night. I actually leaked last night for the first time in months because she only woke up once to nurse... and then didnt wake this morning until after 8am!

 

She's currently standing at her piano dancing ("jumping") and singing (usually ma ma maaaaa or ah ah ahhhh) while mommy laughs. She got daddies show-off-ness for sure!


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#388 of 658 Old 05-17-2011, 11:22 AM
 
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Goooo Ozzy!!!
 

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lol its all downhill from there! wasnt long after that that Mae started pulling up, cruising and practicing standing without support


T is pulling up and trying to cruise but CANNOT get cross-crawling down for anything.  He gets maaaaaad!

 


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#389 of 658 Old 05-18-2011, 06:39 AM
 
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And then yesterday he started going belly to sitting.  YESSSSSSS!  I am not crazy about mobility milestones, but belly-to-sitting is the best.milestone.ever.  It saves him so much frustration.

 

 

And, sweet story:

 

Yesterday the kids and I were in the play room and I had to go pee. Ozzy is playing and seems distracted so I sneak off to the bathroom. Of course as soon as I start peeing (sorry for the TMI) he starts howling because he realized I'm gone. But then as soon as I'm leaving the bathroom, he suddenly stops crying. I peek in through the door, and Emma is sitting beside him giving him a hug, patting his back, and saying "shhhhh ah [she calls him "ah"], shhhh ah."

I just about cried, it was the sweetest damn thing I've ever seen.


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#390 of 658 Old 05-18-2011, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1101 View Post

And then yesterday he started going belly to sitting.  YESSSSSSS!  I am not crazy about mobility milestones, but belly-to-sitting is the best.milestone.ever.  It saves him so much frustration.

 

 

And, sweet story:

 

Yesterday the kids and I were in the play room and I had to go pee. Ozzy is playing and seems distracted so I sneak off to the bathroom. Of course as soon as I start peeing (sorry for the TMI) he starts howling because he realized I'm gone. But then as soon as I'm leaving the bathroom, he suddenly stops crying. I peek in through the door, and Emma is sitting beside him giving him a hug, patting his back, and saying "shhhhh ah [she calls him "ah"], shhhh ah."

I just about cried, it was the sweetest damn thing I've ever seen.




First, I am super jealous of the belly to sitting thing.  Ellie still hasn't figured it out, and it causes us all sorts of DRAMA over here.  Oh, the tears, the wailing, the humanity of it all!

 

Second, what a sweet story!  What a great big sister!


I before E, except after C.  Weird.
DD: 8/2010.
Laurski is offline  
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