Is there such thing as a 9 month old who can fall asleep with out being nursed? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 07:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wondering? shrug.gif

3rd baby, and still no luck with that.

 

As newborns and up to about 5 months I could walk them around in the front pack and they'd eventually pass out.

I just wish I could go to the movies or something. DH has NEVER once been able to get any of them to sleep.

It's like the milk has a sedative.

I can't even have a teeny tiny social life.

1st kid and 2nd kid, I could care less about getting out. Now I'm a seasoned mom, and with 3!!!!! I just need to get out for like an hour or two!

 

Don't get me wrong. I love it and know this will pass- I just have fleeting moments that I would like to feel wild and free again with a glass of wine in my hand!

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#2 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 07:47 AM
 
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I am right there with you mama. 

I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday. I told myself that I would "shush/pat" this baby to sleep as my 1st and 2nd always fell asleep at the breast....but the problem is that the breast is just too darn effective!! 

I believe there is a sedative as well.  

This too shall pass, this too shall pass. :) 


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#3 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 07:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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 I told myself that I would "shush/pat" this baby to sleep as my 1st and 2nd always fell asleep at the breast.



 This is exactly what I told myself about this one too. How the HECK is that done anyway?

Why do know like 20 people who say they put their babies in the crib at naptime and they just fall asleep for two hours?

They say it so matter of factly- like it's so normal. I guess all three of mine are abnormal?

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#4 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 08:13 AM
 
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My ds didn't go down for the night nursing- pretty much wouldn't.  He'd sit with dh and fall asleep on his shoulder (in the dark- dh playing on the computer lol)  BUT ds was also one of those freaky babies who probably would have gone down if put in a crib in the dark.  Apparently they do exist.  Dd never would have.

 

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#5 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 08:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2happy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ABMama View Post

 I told myself that I would "shush/pat" this baby to sleep as my 1st and 2nd always fell asleep at the breast.



 This is exactly what I told myself about this one too. How the HECK is that done anyway?

Why do know like 20 people who say they put their babies in the crib at naptime and they just fall asleep for two hours?

They say it so matter of factly- like it's so normal. I guess all three of mine are abnormal?



I would hazard to guess that those babies are sleep trained.

 

If you are serious about trying to end the breast-to-sleep correlation but want to do it in a gentler, non-CIO way, you might want to check out The No Cry Sleep Solution and The No Cry Nap Solution. I would only do one at a time, though, personally.


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#6 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 08:53 AM
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i'd nurse but not nurse to sleep. so technically she fell asleep on her own.....does that count?


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#7 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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My baby isn't sleep trained  and goes down on her own without nursing, I know she is an exception though. She's in her bed fully awake and falls asleep by herself and if I didn't see it myself, I probably wouldn't believe it. It started when she was about 2 months old and every night after she went to sleep I'd say to DH "that is just amazing", it worked though so we've gone with it. For the longest time she preferred being in her bed on her own to fall asleep. She'd be so fussy in our arms but when put down she'd stretch out and go to sleep. Now she'll sometimes nurse until she's almost asleep and cuddle in for a bit but she's still awake when she goes into bed and usually just drifts off. There are exceptions and it probably won't happen now that I dared to write this.

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#8 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 09:32 AM
 
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DS always nursed to sleep at that age.  DD didn't she would nurse and then pop off and fall asleep about 10 minutes after she was done nursing, sometimes a bit shorter or longer.  That being said it was nothing we did, and we could get her to sleep carrying her in a carrier as well, since she didn't nurse to sleep.  I really think it depends on the child, some just need to nurse to sleep and some don't.


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#9 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 10:02 AM
 
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I lay my 10.5 month done "awake" and she falls to sleep on her own. Saying that though nursing is deffiently a part of bedtime I nurse her fully till shes drops off ttoally filled to the gills and sometimes that meansfallign off dead asleep and I certainly wont wake if if this happens... However its rare she is ussually jsut super drunk content. She'll sit up and coo at me and kinda lay her head on my chest and I know that our signs shes is ready. I go lay her down in her crib where she at least starts the night. She wiggles her little bum till she finds her sweet spot, no tears no crying nothing.. I tune on her violet puppy for the 10 mintues of bedtime music not caus I need it to distract her but more jsut a mama thing she'll smile wiggle her head gently and close her eyes.. I leave the room I leave the door open and IF she does wake I respond imediently but most times shes fast asleep with in a minute or two.

 I never sleep trained my kids but both have been like this. Trying to nurse rock carry etc totally to sleep has proved a disaster everytime so has trying to start the night cosleeping. Getting them comfortable and then allowing there bodies to take that last step safe but alos "alone" simpily wokds best for us.

 

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#10 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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Same thing here, 8 month old.

I DO go out some, and I just trust DH to find his way with the baby and sleep. He sometimes hates it though, and has had varying luck getting him down. He just walks him around and sometimes he'll just fall asleep that way, but it often involves some level of fussing, and that has meant screaming at times. I don't think ever for more than maybe 5 minutes, until he konks out. It does bother me when it comes to that, but he is crying in-arms and honestly I don't see that as being a major trauma, just expressing his frustration that he wants some boob and isn't getting any! And then ther are those amazing times when DH can just soothe the baby down no problem. He feels so victorious at those times!

So with DH its not an issue really, but we now have some outside childcare(in home, very PT), and as of yet I haven't dared to let her even try to get DS down. Don't know if I ever will to be honest...or at least not until she and he are well bonded and he fully trusts her.

Yeah, this is a kind of annoying side-efffect of nursing to sleep. Other than that I love doing it, and man is it ever like a magic pill!

Some tips if you feel like letting your DH have a go: pump and have him give the baby a bottle and do a routine like singing and/ or rocking, walking, etc. Give it a few times to see if they can find a way together. It might just be worth it for you. Good luck mama!

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#11 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 10:44 AM
 
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sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, for us. i don't think it's fair at all to make generalizations about sleep-training, just because a baby does go to sleep easily. my DH can get my DD to sleep most times when i do go out. it's not often, cause honestly i'm usually too tired to make the effort to go out at night, but when i do, he always figures it out, and usually with minimal tears. if you are really feeling the need for some evening leisure time, then go! your DH is a super experienced parent by now, i'm sure they will figure it out.

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#12 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 11:52 AM
 
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#13 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 03:57 PM
 
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Quote:
It's not always a good thing. Sometimes I'd like to be able to nurse her right to sleep, especially when we're not at home and she's sleepy. But, she wont have it anymore. So, it can be a curse as well as a blessing.  

 
 

 

 Yup goign to say the same thing.We have the same thing concerning the crib. Mine has always taken well to her own space were very pro cosleeping and we have our moments but honestly both my kids have done best in a crib.. It can be nice I always get a few hours to "myself" or with my oldest when she naps or at start of her bedtime. As an introvert myself I do relish this time and apreciate it... BUT on the flip side it means she does NOT settle well if we are away from home she semi sleeps and nurses but gets startled and over stimulated. 

 

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#14 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 06:22 PM
 
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we don't use nursing to sleep or cio. we do more of a swaddle and sing and pat method.

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#15 of 21 Old 01-30-2011, 06:33 PM
 
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There is.  My first was a nurse to sleeper.  My second is this magical baby who falls asleep when she is tired.  I have no idea how I lucked out.  She's just started sleeping in her crib and she prefers I put her in there awake...instead of rocking on me to sleep.  It's seriously crazy and I feel so fortunate.


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#16 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 10:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama View Post


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2happy View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ABMama View Post

 I told myself that I would "shush/pat" this baby to sleep as my 1st and 2nd always fell asleep at the breast.



 This is exactly what I told myself about this one too. How the HECK is that done anyway?

Why do know like 20 people who say they put their babies in the crib at naptime and they just fall asleep for two hours?

They say it so matter of factly- like it's so normal. I guess all three of mine are abnormal?



I would hazard to guess that those babies are sleep trained.

 

If you are serious about trying to end the breast-to-sleep correlation but want to do it in a gentler, non-CIO way, you might want to check out The No Cry Sleep Solution and The No Cry Nap Solution. I would only do one at a time, though, personally.


My 9 month old goes right to sleep with no nursing and has definitely never been sleep trained:) He just loves sleeping! As soon as he looks sleepy, I set him in his bed (which is a montessori style floor bed so he is able to crawl right out if he wanted to), and he lays his head down and passes out for 1-3 hours. 3 times a day.

 

I understand that he is a freak of nature in this regard:)

 

I happily nursed him to sleep and bedshared from birth, but around 4 months he just started preferring to put himself to sleep. We moved him from our bed to a crib at that point, then a crib to a floor bed at 7 months when he started crawling. His room is babyproofed and all toys are at his level so all he has to do is crawl out of bed and all sorts of fun is right at his fingertips yet he happily puts himself to sleep. If I try to nurse or rock him, he will thrash and cry. If I lay him down wide awake, he just goes right to bed w/o a peep. Sometimes I lay by him and rub his back (when he'll let me).

 

He has definitely never had to CIO or anything close to it. If he doesn't go to sleep, he gets up and plays for awhile then we try again in 30 minutes or so if he's looking tired. There have been a few days where he has only taken one nap because if he doesn't want to sleep, I don't make him.

 

As nice as that sounds, he refuses to nap ANYWHERE besides his bed. If we are out and about he will not nap at other people's houses, or even in a carrier. VERY RARELY he will fall asleep in the carseat when I'm driving. Even at home he isn't one of those babies that will pass out playing on the floor. He will only fall asleep in his bed. If I try to get him to fall asleep with me or my DH in our bed, no dice. Although when he wakes in the middle of the night about 10% of the time he will fall asleep in our bed after nursing, but the other 90% of the time he'll start fussing, then crying and working himself into a rage until we put him back in his bed (he's fine with one of us laying in HIS bed with him).

 

Anyways, its nice that he falls asleep easily at home, but sometimes I wish he were a little more flexible and I didn't have to always plan our days around being home for his naps. It really makes eating over at family/friend's houses difficult because he will just start crying at 6:30 and nothing will make him happy except being at home in bed. My SIL's kids will just pass out anywhere and it seems kind of nice.

 

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#17 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 10:34 AM
 
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I wish I had babies who would fall asleep nursing. Both of mine have needed motion to sleep. Rock/walk/carrier, etc.. which makes it REALLY hard if I am somewhere that doesn't have a rocking chair.. for example, this weekend I was at my sister's (she lives a state away) for her wedding shower, and I had to walk DS2 around or put him in the carrier for naps. My feet were aching after 2 days of this, I couldn't sit down all day. And he is heavy, 15 1/2 lbs at 10 weeks old. I would LOVE to be able to sit down and nurse him to sleep when he is tired.

 

I also have OALD so nursing is never very comfortable or fun for my babies either.. I think once Liam got older and could keep up he would nurse more peacefully but Ian hasn't reached that stage yet and every feeding is a struggle for him. :(


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#18 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 04:24 PM
 
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I have heard of this type of baby, but I don't think I have one.  Only six months old right now, but he has been nursed to sleep every single night of his life except for Dec. 17th when I went to my company Christmas party and DH managed to get him down with a bottle.

 

Lately I have been trying sort of a modified Pantley pull off from No Cry Sleep Solution.  I hadn't had any luck with this for a long time because I would un-latch him but then try to have him fall asleep in my arms.  Now I un-latch after 5-10 minutes of nursing and immediately set him down (he is VERY drowsy at this point).

 

The problem?  I can only put him down in this.  If I try the crib, eyes fly open and he starts screaming.  And he is about 1/2 inch away from outgrowing the rock n play.

 

He only stays asleep for an hour or two anyway, then we cosleep for the rest of the night and I let him nurse to all the way asleep... again and again and again, all night long.

 

Sometimes it gets to me.  SIL gave us a gift card to our favorite restaurant (non-kid friendly) and offered to babysit so we could go out.  I'd like to take her up on it but I'm so afraid she won't be able to get him to sleep.


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#19 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 07:52 PM
 
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Note sleep training does not always equal happy baby that sleeps better. My SIL 5 kids were all sleep trained before there first year. 3 out of 5 of them are still horrible sleepers. there 4th cried for years and is still  waking up multiple times a night she is 7 there last is probably their best sleeper and the one that CIO the least cause by then there were siblings old enough to respond.

  Just like not all non CIO/cosleeping parents have bad sleepers. My 10.5 month olds sleep pattern

bedtime around 7-8pm (watch her cues) nurses and goes down sleepy but awake puts herself to sleep she sleeps in her crib

12amish wakes I get her and nurse her in the living room

sleeps from around 12:30amish-8am in her crib

We do cosleep but I've always had my LO start out bedtime in something else we used a Cradle rocker (like posted earlier) for the first 6ish months then made an seemless transition to the crib and thne after I go to sleep and she'd wake I'd just bring her over to me... As she naturally started dropping some feeding she naturally went longer. As of now she is pretty much going all night in her crib I get plenty of sleep or at least I can't blame her though we still co room.

 My first was sleeping through the night by 8 months and had a darn good stretch even before that. Neither CIO

 

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#20 of 21 Old 01-31-2011, 11:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stephbrownthinks View Post

Anyways, its nice that he falls asleep easily at home, but sometimes I wish he were a little more flexible and I didn't have to always plan our days around being home for his naps. It really makes eating over at family/friend's houses difficult because he will just start crying at 6:30 and nothing will make him happy except being at home in bed. My SIL's kids will just pass out anywhere and it seems kind of nice.

 


I think this is kind of the answer for me. I have "trained" my child to sleep on the breast and in the carrier...he will flake out anywhere. My friend still has a 4 year old that naps...because it has been the same room/same bed/same routine for all those years.

:P 


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#21 of 21 Old 02-03-2011, 08:38 AM
 
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I DO go out some, and I just trust DH to find his way with the baby and sleep.

This. OP, your husband will figure it out without you looking over his shoulder and frankly it's about time he did!

And yes, my DH and my mom were both able to get my baby to sleep with singing and rocking (although I nursed him down into toddlerhood).
 


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