Good Lord - FUMING! - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 96 Old 02-14-2011, 12:13 AM
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About the babymoon, I do understand you (although did you say no photos for the grandparents? Why?). I wish I could have had a longer babymoon, it just so quickly spiralled out of control. And it wasn't even that bad, everyone was really nice, but I think I'd have needed more time off from the world to get over the birth and having a baby and getting into better headspace, with just DH and DD. Most people around us seemed upset we didn't allow any visitors at the hospital (and we left the hospital as soon as was possible, the day after the birth).

About organic, wooden safe etc. stuff. Well, it was really important to us too. Now she's nearly three, and we've relaxed a bit, and she has a few plastic things, and a few pieces of non-organic clothing (and plenty of great hand-me-down non-organic stuff!).

But I think about what a friend of mine said a while back, when she came by with a bag of old cloth diapers (for me to hand on to a friend with a little baby). I said something about it being great that they were hand-me-downs, well-washed etc. And she said that new mums can sometimes be a bit precious about everything being perfect for their baby. I agreed, and recalled that I hadn't been keen on hand-me-downs when DD was tiny. My friend (a mother of three) laughed, and said that every first-time mum had a right to be a bit precious about these things!

So that is what I say to you. It is ok to be a bit precious bout these things, for now. But try to keep it a bit low-key. Yes, keep all of that from your baby. Yes, do tell your family (in a nice way) what is important to you, and what you want your baby to be exposed to. But try not to get into fights over it. It isn't worth it in the long run. (And in the end, you might change a little bit how you feel about it, and they might come around a little bit too! smile.gif )
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#92 of 96 Old 02-14-2011, 04:07 PM
 
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I can understand a babymoon.  I just couldn't possibly have gone 30 days without my mother to help me with being a first time mommy myself.  Perhaps you are not close to your mom in that way?  We planned on not having anyone at our birth either.  My mom just showed up to the hospital though without asking or calling while I was still in labor, and I am ever so grateful she did.  I regret not inviting her myself instead of her coming herself.  With my second, I made plans to have her there.


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#93 of 96 Old 02-14-2011, 04:26 PM
 
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This may be a fun/light read for you right now OP ;)

 

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2007/01/29/what-ive-learned-in-a-decade-of-parenting-2/

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#94 of 96 Old 02-14-2011, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AislinCarys View Post

Ab
But I think about what a friend of mine said a while back, when she came by with a bag of old cloth diapers (for me to hand on to a friend with a little baby). I said something about it being great that they were hand-me-downs, well-washed etc. And she said that new mums can sometimes be a bit precious about everything being perfect for their baby. I agreed, and recalled that I hadn't been keen on hand-me-downs when DD was tiny. My friend (a mother of three) laughed, and said that every first-time mum had a right to be a bit precious about these things!

 


this is said so sweetly!


Reluctant 'Sconie, chassid and mama to sweet toughie Ada Bluma 9/9/09 and loving pittie-mix ("Judge the deed, not the breed!")
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#95 of 96 Old 02-14-2011, 09:51 PM
 
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I really started my journey as a mother with a chip on my shoulder- sure that everyone else was going to judge my "extreme choices". It really affected my perspective and I was very defensive from the get-go and unwilling to give up any control. It was my right to act this way but my perspective has really changed. Facilitating loving relationships between my children and their relatives is one of the best gifts I could ever give them. Far more important then worrying about the meaning of the "crappy" gifts.

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#96 of 96 Old 02-15-2011, 03:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkinmaker View Post

This may be a fun/light read for you right now OP wink1.gif

 

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2007/01/29/what-ive-learned-in-a-decade-of-parenting-2/


Wow, that was awesome, thank you so much! I know I can be too rigid and controlling, for example about what goes into my son's mouth (all organic, whole food, etc)...but sometimes I do have a flash of insight, for example yesterday as I realized the cheese I just gave him was not organic, that you know what? He will survive this, and it won't even cause any damage if he sometimes has non-organic cheese.

I think plenty of us new mamas on MDC could use to read this! redface.gif

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