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Old 02-22-2011, 10:38 AM
 
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I regret...

  • telling people my real due date. It was sooooo annoying to get a million phone calls and Facebook messages at 40 weeks. In July. In Georgia. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my extremely large cotton dress, thank you very much. :)
  • telling people the baby's gender. The horrifyingly gendered clothing we got at our showers was the complete opposite of what we wanted (i.e., cute clothes that didn't scream "I'm a boy" or "I love football").
  • having an out-of-town baby shower. It was fun, but we got a lot of useless crap (see above) & we spent a bundle on the flight. Kind of a waste.
  • not being able to take more than 12 weeks of leave...working for an employer (the U.S. government) that offers only UNPAID leave...and having an unemployed husband (I don't regret the husband, but I will be sad forever that he couldn't/didn't find a job before the baby arrived).
  • not asking for more help!! We really, really needed it during those first months. This is probably the most important one. If someone wants to visit, let them & ask them to do something for you!

 

Boy, this has brought up a lot of old (sad) feelings! :(

 

By the way, this is a GREAT series of articles on baby stuff you don't need...it helped steer us in the right direction, and we skipped a crib & stroller, tried EC'ing, did baby-led weaning, etc.:

 

http://ecochildsplay.com/2009/01/15/baby-essentials-that-arent-1/

 

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Old 02-22-2011, 11:35 AM
 
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I agree about the photos~I love looking at the pictures of me with my baby, even the ones where I think I look awful!  My brother helped me get over my vanity about photos this year after I noticed he was always so willing to smile at the camera; he pointed out "that's just what you were doing that day".  It's so much more important to just be able to have a glimpse back into those moments.

 

I also agree with a few people that posted about enjoying a babymoon.  I ended up in the hospital after planning a home birth, but it turned out to be a great experience being there for the first couple days after our birth.  I have such lovely memories of being able to lie in bed with my baby.  The room was warm and so we could just lay skin to skin the whole time, the bed moved up and down (!), people brought us our meals, the nurses did some diaper changing for us, etc.  It truly was a wonderful time and I never expected that.  Of course, it definitely helped that we had wonderful nurses who were supportive of the ways we wanted to be with our baby during that time.

 

We're going through a pretty traumatic bottle refusal right now and I'm heading back to work in less than 2 weeks.  We already postponed my return by over one month because of this.  I was and am still pretty devoted to breastfeeding and was a little stunned when we had to give our baby expressed milk in a bottle after every feeding for the first couple weeks of her life because she was born under 5 lb.  Once her growth took off, we let the bottles drop off.  With my next baby (or babies?), I will undoubtedly continue to offer a bottle at least every few days to avoid this stress and sadness for everyone.

 

Cosleeping has been great and my husband and I wouldn't have changed that part for anything.  One possible adjustment that would have made it even better would have been to buy a king size bed before baby's arrival!

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Old 02-22-2011, 11:37 AM
 
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On the fourth baby now joy.gif

 

The one and only "wish" I have is to be present with my babies, children, kids, pre-teens, teens, young adults, adults... everyone, really.

 

To enjoy each and every moment... even when it's not enjoyable.

The "stuff" is important and the experience of the stuff makes it all worth while.  grouphug.gif


The peace within becomes the harmony without.
www.innatewholeness.com
 
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Old 02-22-2011, 11:38 AM
 
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hi there~was just reading that you used the beco for carrying your baby on your back starting at 3 months and you said you could get a lot done around the house?  was it hard to learn to do that?  i used the moby and now ergo but you can only do so much with the baby on your front.  i'm probably past the napping-on-my-back stage now with my baby past her 5th month, but i might try that with the next one.

thanks

susan

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Old 02-22-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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in error~was trying to reply directly to someone~anyone know how to do that?

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Old 02-22-2011, 11:54 AM
 
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yes- you click on their user name and then you have the option to send them a pm (private message)

Also- if you have a question about babywearing there is a whole section on MDC devoted to the details of babywearing! You can look or ask there too.

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Old 02-22-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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My DD is 3 months today and I can honestly say there have been few regrets so far. Let's start with what I think I did right...

 

- got an M coat as a shower gift - couldn't live without it here in Canada with a winter baby and no car! It's honestly the best baby thing I own beside my sling!

- Using a sling early on - she's already doubled her birth weight in under 3 months and I've had zero problems carrying her all the time.

- Starting EC at 3 days old - it's addictive! I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. I've found most of the time DD fusses it's related to her bowel movements and I love being able to respectfully help her feel better.

- Home birth with awesome midwives in our cardboard walled apartment - awesome, and DD came out just 15 minutes before everyone got home from work so they didn't hear a thing!

- Watching 'Birth into Being' a gazillion times before baby arrived - I spiralled my hips like a mad woman!

- Not working during pregnancy - very little stress and enjoyed spending tons of 'me' time before the baby so my cup was filled when I had to switch over to 'baby' time all the time.

- Breastfeeding through the challenges. For me it was never an option not to, but with an overactive letdown (still to this day...) and oversupply we had our fair share of issues and trying times. We also learned how to nurse in about 20 different positions! And now she's a nursing champ and it makes me so happy to have this relationship.

- Camping out in the living room for the first month - re: cardboard walled apartment... The bedroom is connected to the other apartment and it stressed me out to think about waking the neighbours every time DD cried at night. It was kind of fun to feel like we just lived in this little box of a room. 

- Napping with baby when she napped. I love napping so this wasn't so hard, but I really think it helped me recover faster and deal with the nighttime feedings better. I spent most of the first 6 weeks in and out of sleep with baby. 

- Placentophagia - I ate mine tartar style and I swear it actually tasted good! As a result my hormones were and have been very stable since her birth. I had no PPD, no random crying... Other than of joy! I also take herbs to support female hormones. 

- Red Raspberry Leaf Infusions - I drank about 3 cups of infusion daily(1 ounce herb/quart boiling water + 4 hours) for the last 3 months of pregnancy and I had a productive labour with little to no stalling. 

 

Things I wish I would've done differently...

 

- Gone to the chiropractor during pregnancy or at least earlier in the post-partum period. My upper back is pretty messed up from carrying DD in my arms constantly and sleeping in weird positions.

- Learned about traditional foods and the potential harm of a vegan diet prior to conceiving. I began my pregnancy raw-vegan and ended it with a diet rich in animal fats and nourishing foods. I feel blessed to have switched over - my teeth are severely de-mineralized due to the cleansing and pregnancy and it will take a while to get them back to the point where I'm not embarrassed to smile... Let alone what could have happened to my unborn baby from a lack of key nutrients. 

- Tried to meet more sling-wearing walking mamas in my city prior to baby. I have a few great friends but being the only one without a car and walking the city in the middle of winter can be a bit lonely at times.

- Attended LLL meetings or read more about BF before baby. I had worked in the nursing 'industry' (nursing apparel) and witnessed so many moms nursing and learned a bunch - but I thought I knew everything. I learned a lot since. 

- Purchased a sling during pregnancy - I knew all along I wanted a basic long wrap sling but didn't want to dish out the money at the time. The first 2 weeks were rough on my arms as DD was very tiny and way too small for the Ergo I had.

- Believed it when people said that having a baby would change my life forever. I had somewhat deluded fantasies of being and doing the same things with a baby strapped to my chest happily following along. Instead I've had to drop everything and forget my 'plans' and just enjoy mothering and know that I will come to miss these days and that I have my whole life to devote to creative expression and personal fulfillment. But at the same time that I don't have to give up everything - some things are just done differently now and my expectations are different.

- Frustration is a function of expectation. I don't 'expect' DD to do anything now (sleep long, not cry, co-operate) and am therefore way less frustrated when things don't go my way!

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Old 02-22-2011, 12:13 PM
 
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My dd is now 5 yo. Looking back, I WISH I HAD:

 

-Used a midwife instead of trying UC

 

- NOT started the Elimination Communication when dd was 4 mos. It really sux having to get up 4 times a night because they need to pee in the sink!

 

- allowed myself to be photographed even tho I thought I was fat. I'm a lot fatter now!!

 

- trusted my friends to babysit. I thought they wouldn't know what to do. We NEVER went out until she was over a year old! Really strained the ol' marriage!

 

- started working out shortly after birth. I gained 100 lbs in the next 2 years due to stress from quitting my job to be the perfect Mom and financial stresses.

 

-used the co sleeper instead of sleeping with her. I thought I *knew* that co-sleeping was how it had to be. She was often not fun to co-sleep with and often would not go to sleep unless someone went down with her.

 

-used a bottle more often so she could be babysat.

 

-gone to a chiropractor after the birth instead of ignoring my back pain.

 

-not taken attachment parenting so seriously.

 

I AM GLAD THAT I:

 

-Used disposables when I needed them.

-Persisted with the help of a lactation consultant for 7 weeks until she learned to nurse. I thought I was losing my mind and shed many tears, but it was worth it!

-Used slings

-got rid of the tv after she was born


Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...:
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Old 02-22-2011, 12:25 PM
 
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Wished I would have...

-Wish I had tried harder to breastfeed DD1 after I went back to work @ 6 wks. I'm breastfeeding DD2 and working full-time, it's hard but not impossible and I wish I would have at least given it a shot, instead of assuming I had to wean.

-Practiced more gentle parenting earlier on with DD1, she is a very "spirited" toddler & maybe this is why?

-Wished I would have told my doctor (or someone!) about my PPD with DD2, I'm just getting out of the funk now and she's almost 6 mos. I convinced myself that since I didn't have it with DD1, I must be doing something wrong.

-Wish I could just ask for help when I needed it instead of getting to "the breaking point" because I feel the need to "do everything myself."

-Wish we didn't have 3 strollers collecting dust in our basement - we never use any of them.

 

Glad I did / do...

-Glad I listened to DH and met with a LC after DD2 was born. I have a successful breastfeeding relationship with DD2, I was not successful with DD1. I was embarrassed to tell the LC that I had only nursed DD1 for 5 weeks.

-Glad we buy everything used.

-Glad I ran up until 7 mos with both pregnancies, I had easy births/recoveries, and it think some of was attributed to running.

-Glad I found MDC - so much help / advice. Our friends do not parent like DH & I do, it's nice to find out we are not crazy.

-Glad I do not listen to everyone when they tell me, "If you just switch to formula, DD2 would STTN! She's almost 6 mos. old she should be STTN!"

-Glad I bought a good pump, since I work FT, I use it every.single.day.

-Glad I have a baby bath tub! Both babies liked it.

-Glad I have a DH who things nothing of taking 2 kids under the age of 2 hiking, snowshoeing, camping, etc. & only sees the joy in it & not the work ;-)

 

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Old 02-22-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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Things I wish I did:
  1. I wish I cloth diapered from the day she was born, we started at 6 months and the entire time before that she had a rash with disposables that wouldn't go away. 
  2. I wish I has a snap 'n go from the beginning because it made food shopping and errands infinitely easier. I also wish my first stroller didn't weight 26 pounds! (Kolcraft 3 wheeler), I wish I got the City Mini from the beginning. 
  3. Wish I didn't buy a wooden cradle on craigslist, she slept in it twice!
  4. Wish I had a doula for the birth. I couldn't afford one and couldn't find one in training in time. But regardless I had a drug free hospital birth that went pretty well, thanks to my husband's support.
  5. Wouldn't have registered for all this STUFF that I never used. Why did I get glass bottles even though I knew I would breastfeed? I never used them. Sold them on Craigslist later for like half the price. I wish I would also realize that just because something is organic, it doesn't mean I should automatically register for it ;)
  6. Wish I knew how hard milk protein can be to digest for newborns in mom's milk... Wish I didn't eat any dairy for the first six months - we would have avoided 3 days at the hospital and having her on formula for 5 days while my system was cleansed of all dairy. (we ended up diagnosed with milk protein allergy when she was only two weeks, spitting up with blood and blood in her stool)
  7. Wish I knew about the Woombie before she was born! discovered it when she was 3 months and she finally started sleeping peacefully without waking herself up.
  8. Wish I knew more about the option of home birth or birth center birth, I didn't really know all my options up until a month before I was due - at that point I didn't want to go through changing all the plans.

 

Things I don't regret:

  1. Having professional pregnancy photos taken a week before due date! Actually, they were taken by a photog. school student, they were free - but look very professional.
  2. Carrying my baby in an Ergo all over the house.
  3. Getting outside for a walk with the stroller nearly every day.
  4. Co-sleeping in our bed
  5. Not ever giving her a bottle (except when she was at the hospital with allergy)
  6. Sticking with breastfeeding even though it was extremely painful for the first two months.
  7. Having a baby tub, because at that time our bathroom was old 1969 yucky blah, I wouldn't want to put her in that tub (or myself)
  8. Having my mom come over every week to make a huge pot of soup that would last us at least 4 days for lunch!
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Old 02-22-2011, 01:56 PM
 
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If I had to do it over again I would:

 

not hesitate early-on to co-sleep.

 

not take away the pacifier after a LLL girl thought it was causing a clicking sound at nursing.  The clicking wasn't problematic, and we sure could have used the paci at bedtimes a couple of months later.  He has such a difficult time falling asleep (even two and a half years later!)

 

try harder to continue breastfeeding my first DS during my second pregnancy.

 

not even attempt cloth diapering.  We gave up at month 5 because he had recurring diaper rash and the diapers became waterproof from what was supposed to be an approved diaper cream.  Stripping, sun-drying etc... the whole ordeal was just too much work.  Sposies work just fine for our needs.

 

take care of my own nutrition better.

 

hire a doula for my first delivery.

 

continue to exclusively breastfeed past six months.

 

trust my instincts better.

 

use a Pikkolo or a mei-tai from day 1.

 

 

Things I'm really glad for:

firing my OB and switched to a recommended family doctor.

taking a Bradley class with my husband.  It affirmed my beliefs and put DH on the same page.

opting to use AP principles,

staying at home,

buying everything, especially clothes, second-hand,

having read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding",

 

 

Things I wish were different, but will not be:

having a good support network

 

 

 

I'm sure there's more to add to these lists.

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Old 02-22-2011, 03:06 PM
 
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I'm only 4 months PP, but I'll share what I've learned.

 

I'm thankful I:

- Bought almost all our baby gear and clothes used.  We saved a ton of money.

- Didn't have a registry or a baby shower.  I loved being able to get exactly what I wanted for the baby, plus people gave us a bunch of gifts anyway.  I imagine our house would be much more cluttered if we'd actually asked people to get us stuff.

- Co-sleep.  Friends and family were so surprised at how well-rested we were and continue to be as new parents.

- Breastfeed.  I had several issues early on that made it incredibly painful, but I never considered any other option and I'm grateful I was so stubborn.

- Cloth diaper.  I love it, and they work so well!

- Had a doula and a midwife for my hospital birth.  I was 10 days "overdue" with a large baby, and my labor stalled out after I reached 10 cm.  I don't even want to think about how ds's birth would have gone if I'd had an OB.

- Found MDC well before getting pregnant so I had time to read up on so many topics!

- Stay at home with ds.  This is the most unexpected thing I'm thankful for as I've always been focused on finishing grad school and getting a good job.  Dh's job allows me to stay home and I feel lucky I won't miss any of ds's babyhood.

 

Things I'll do differently next time:

- Have professional maternity and newborn pictures.  I'm another one who HATES being in pictures, but I need to remember that ds will not see me the same way I see myself, and at my current rate he's going to wonder what I looked like when he was little.  That's not okay.  I'm sure when I'm 50 I'll look back and think I was crazy for being so vain.

- Take tons more pictures during baby's first couple weeks.  Even the reject (slightly blurry, poor composition, etc.) pictures I took in the hospital are priceless to me now.

- Work out during the whole pregnancy.  I did great up until 20 weeks, then I totally slacked off and gained too much the rest of the pregnancy.  I sincerely hope my butt goes back to its normal size some day.

- This goes with the one above, but I'll eat better next time too.  No, baby does not want another ice cream sundae.  yummy.gif


9/2011 items decluttered
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Old 02-23-2011, 12:52 PM
 
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The only thing I would do significantly differently is:

 

Not worry so much about "teaching her things" and "establishing bad habits".

 

The amazing thing about babies is that they don't need to be taught in order to develop normally.  Just give them love and attention and they will do it all by themselves.  They don't need enforced tummy time in order to learn how to crawl. One day they will just flip over and do it. They will pick up vocabulary as if by magic.  They will learn to eat foods if you give them a no-pressure environment.

 

Babies want to grow up, so don't stress it, just enjoy them as they are right now :-)

 

Along those same lines, I will not attempt any "Ferberizing" or other traumatic "sleep training" with #2.

I finally conceded to try this out with my first one around 9 months old because it was so important to my husband.  He wanted to be able to put her to bed himself but she was used to nursing to sleep.  I strongly feel that it only made her more likely to sleep lightly and wake up when I left the room since she wasn't sure if I would come back. There are much gentler ways to drop this suck-to-sleep habit, see ideas in the No Cry Sleep Solution book.  Even better, wait for her to grow out of it if everyone is relatively happy with the situation.

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Old 02-23-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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I wish I had not procrastinated. LO was 2 months early and we had not taken any classes, or finished buying nursery gear.

I wish I had stood up for me and my baby - my mother in law would not leave the room ever - I should have told her how uncomfortable I was breastfeeding and pumping and showering infront of her.

I wish I had told the nurse not to give my LO a bottle!  when I wasn't around - breastfeeding never worked although I still try everyday every hour - she hates it.

I wish I had bought a video recorder - taped the birth and all those special first milestones that have happened in the last 6 months - they happen so fast and you just don't get them back.

Finally I wish I had had professional baby bump pictures taken - especially with my hubby.

 

Having a baby has just made me realize how much of life I have taken for granted. Never again.

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Old 02-23-2011, 01:56 PM
 
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I'm really glad I...

 

didn't put my entire life on hold because we got pregnant unexpectedly.  I know I was really lucky to not have any problems and to have so many people around us who celebrated us having a baby together instead of abandoning us for straying from the approved religious path.  (there are still some old grudges being held against certain family members...)

 

told my mother (and sisters) and mother-in-law that they could buy us all the baby and kid clothes they wanted, just PLEASE avoud extreme pink.  they all have been petty good about the pink and we haven't had to buy clothes for either daughter yet!  and dd1 is 3.5 yo. 

 

made my own wrap.  i get comments on it EVERY time I use it, it has just the right amount of stretch, even for a tiny baby.  It is perfect for wearing even my 16 mo baby for hours at a time, is perfect for traveling around tons of people when just me and my 2 girls and it can do anything carrying and do blanket duty too!

 

accepted a really used ring sling from some friends.  it wore out really quick but i dissected it and sewed a new one that I like even better.  it was invaluable and still is, especially for errand trips in and out of the carseat all the time.

 

coslept and breastfed.  (still am w/ dd2! )  I'm also glad that i nightweaned/weaned my dd1 to a paci at about 6 mo prego w/ dd2.  i felt so much better and dh helped a lot w/ putting dd1 to bed when we transitioned her to her own room.

 

accepted the old crib and toddler bed from my parents that they had kept from me and my sibs.  yeah we didn't use the crib much, didn't even set it up with dd2 (though there were times i wish i had...) but allowing my dad to paint it up for us i think made him feel better.  and i might set it up if we have space for dc3 eventually...

 

stuck with our parenting gut even though we have no friends with kids (well now we do...) to lean on and both our parents had different experiences with us... being of a different time

 

glad I learned to validate others' birth, breastfeeding and child experiences and just not let on that i might think they're wrong and really DID have enough milk and just didn't try, etc. 

 

glad I did a "homebirth" with a midwife at her clinic-home with dd1 and stuck with it despite arguments about safety with brothers in law and mothers.  it was wonderful and i had no problems and i still feel that it kept me from being forced into a medicalized birth unnecessarily.

 

glad i found a good family doc here (different midwife culture here...) instead who was willing to let me do a completely natural birth. (even though dd2 took over 30 hours of actual labor).

 

stuck with school.  and that I decided to just do daycare.  although it is an amazingly wonderful place.  and that we spent the $50 for the high quality single hand pump breastpump.  I didn't need more, especialy having to haul it around with me at school and I'm bl;essed by my milk quantities.

 

call things "immunity builders"  like eating sheep poop and crawling on dirty floors.  yes not great and prevention is applied.  but kids do gross things and i'm glad i don't freak about it.

 

always encouraged independence.  less whiny do-everything-for-me moments.  i despise watching it in other families.

 

kept every issue of mothering.  they all have something worthwhile in them.  i loaned them to a friend when they got prego and she loved it and devoured them.  I love being able to support friends and family that way.

 

I wish I had...

 

taken more photos of my dd2.  and family pics.  and of dd1 after dd2... etc

 

put more emphasis on a schedule for dd1 especially but for our whole family.  our girls suffer from not always having one and so do we.

 

felt comfortable asking my own mother to come stay with us for a week after dd2 was born.  as much as i love my mil, she wanted to sit and talk rather than do chores for me or apologized so much for not doing them i ended up having her hold the baby and watch dd1 while i got up and did work.  which was really ok, i felt up to it and was going a little stir-crazy just sitting.  I woul have felt better in more familiar care, so to speak.

 

been a little better about kid food stains on clothes.  the next time around i'm feeliong a little self conscious about the stains and such, like it'snot fair tp dd2 because she'll always be getting hand-me-downs and to her they shoul feel just as new as big sisters clothes (used or otherwise)

 

been more upfront with my folks about things wanted and not, granted they did try some.  they got us with dd1, the graco travel system.  I wish we had told them we had a nice bob stroller, )thanks rei staff deals!) and just wanted the bucket seat and maybe a set for making the seat fir the BOB. 

 

more i'm sure, lambs to check!


Farming mama to DD1 (10/18/07), DD2 (10/3/09) who are always DS born 8.21.14 and wife to loving hubby (6/23/2007).
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Old 02-26-2011, 06:19 AM
 
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Glad to have:
found an online AP community. Looking for another in the western Ma area
I'm a healer. Was a lot freer to let me baby take risks knowing I could heal her.
Nursed for 15 months even though. I had fibromyalgia in my breasts.
Waiting until she had 4 teeth before introducing solids.
Knew we were going to co-sleep so didn't have to deal with a crib or side sleeper.
Wore her for most of the first 2 years. She is a securely attached almost 6 year old.
Went with most of my instincts even if they weren't AP or what others thought.
Jonney jumper not she is still a great jumper with well developed body.
Giving her as much power as was age appropriate.
Being able to take two patients a day @ home
Having her cord blood, blood typed so I could guess easier what foods or supplements to remove from my diet when she reacted to the milk. She is a different blood type the me and this diet at least gives my a rough idea of where to start eliminating in addition to the top 7.
I loved the bath chair
Glad I splurged on the double medla pump, I've been able to lend it out
I did the placenta thing as well. Ate it raw in a smoothy, made pills and even had a homeopathic made out of it. Very effective for all the blood I lost.
To have a home birth, with my 45 hour labor I would have been sectioned for sure
Realiized after 5 minutes not all babies should be swaddled
I have a 2 door Rav4, from the drivers seat I can easily reach a backward facing baby. Just touch her face calmed her.

Regrets:
Not moving to family. I have now and suddenly I'm pregnant again.
Having my immediate family fly out for the home birth. My Dad is still traumatized.
Not being strong enough to over ride some of my husbands ideas.
Not having a swing of some kind
Fear of not making enough milk and made too much by diet and pumping after feeding her.
I leaked constantly. Plus side, I had enough to share.
Started working out way too soon. It took a lot longer to heal my pelvic floor.

T Tarail
Iahp.cpm/ttarail

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Old 02-27-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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Glad that I:

-prepared for pregnancy & birth

-had professional newborn pictures taken

-had my mom at the birth (even though I didn't want to originally)

-didn't buy a stroller

-bought a cosleeper

-didn't buy a lot of baby gear

-went to acupuncture and the chiropractor during pregnancy (especially my last trimester)

-had my placenta encapsulated

-have maternity pictures, even though they aren't professional I love them

-chose a diaper service, I never would have stuck with cloth diapers otherwise

-saw an LC to help with BF

-didn't buy a crib or prepare a nursery

-started out with a convertible carseat

 

wish I would have

-taken more pictures of us as a family, especially in the hospital/first few days - I really wish we had those now

-organized/cleaned/nested - my house still needs this done and DD is almost 6 months

-cooked some freezer meals - even though DH knows how to cook & my mom was here, this would have been a life saver

-started bathing with her from day one - there was no need for the tub

-gotten a wrap instead of a ring sling - I still don't love the sling

-not worried so much about the "horrible" sleeper/napper I was raising and just followed her cues better - we both would have been happier for the first 2 months.

-not read all those sleep books that told me she SHOULD be sleeping X amount every day.

-met more AP moms during my pregnancy

-started EC when she was tiny. I'm just figuring it out now

-slept more when she slept

-quit my job to stay home with her for at least a year (it wasn't feasible, but I wish that it was an option)

-not fought with DH so much the first few days because of sheer exhaustion and hormones


Erica
DD September 2010, m/c October 2009
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Old 02-28-2011, 02:49 PM
 
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Great thread!

 

I'll start with the positive first!

 

I'm grateful that I:

  • trusted myself to birth naturally at home
  • chose a midwife/doula team that was amazing
  • was/am able to take 18 months maternity leave
  • didn't set up a nursery - she has always slept with us so now we can design it as a "big kid room" for when she's ready
  • had amazing breastfeeding support...it was hard for the first few days before my milk came in...now we're still going strong!
  • joined a facilitated mom/baby group - we still get together every 2 weeks, nearly a year later! we are a small group of 5 and these women have been such amazing support to me

 

I wish I had:

  • known that breastfeeding was hard work for the first few days!
  • invested in a good chair to nurse in...my back was a wreck for awhile while I was learning positions
  • prepared the house a bit more for those early days (clean, food, etc.)
  • slept when the baby slept!
  • known how sleep deprivation and the intensity of being a new parent is hard on a relationship
  • trusted my instincts more quickly - eventually I got/get there but I often got swayed

Me joy.gif, DP treehugger.gif, S bikenew.gif and L babyboy.gif
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Old 03-01-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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Glad that I:

  • Stuck with breastfeeding even though it was SOOO hard and I thought it could never get easy- I was wrong, it was worth it, and I love breastfeeding DS now!
  • Made a birth plan, had DH as my vocal partner to enforce my birth plan and made sure everyone in the birth centre knew what we wanted, what we didn't want!
  • Exercised during pregnancy- it made my (long) labour pretty easy and my recovery pretty smooth
  • Co-sleep- I love waking up with DS and DH, love hearing his sleepy noises and love that he knows mummy and daddy are always nearby to help him
  • Didn't get any newborn shots, vax or eye goop
  • Kept DS's sex a surprise
  • bought these things: boppy, comfortable glider, Ergo, books about breastfeeding, lots of books to read while nursing, lots of books to read to DS

 

Regret that I:

  • Had my mom come before and after the birth- it wasn't bad, but she wasn't too helpful and I wish it had been just me and DH for the first 2 weeks
  • Didn't know that I could/should nurse DS just to soothe him! For the first little while I thought "I just fed him- he's not hungry, I'll soothe him another way" and all he wanted was the boob! It would have been so much easier.
  • Didn't hold DS more in the first few weeks- he spent too much time in a bassinet and bouncy chair.
  • Gained a bit too much weight during my pregnancy- still working off those last 5 lbs.
  • Didn't look around more for used baby items, even though we bought every thing cheap we could have saved a bit more
  • Didn't take more newborn photos with ME in them- I felt so big and cruddy I didn't want to be in any photos
  • Didn't get the good double medela pump FIRST- i bought the hand pump, then bought the crappy electric one-sided pump
  • Didn't sleep more before the baby was born!!!

Me dreads.gif 32, loving him fuzmalesling.gif33, more each day. Rad boy, jog.gif 7/12/10 & Cool gal baby.gif  4/28/13

I'm a biracial, atheist, humanist, pacifist, anarchist, bibliophile, and educator. Rainbow.gifgd.gifwinner.jpgnocirc.gif

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Old 03-03-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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I wish we had cloth diapered from the start. I would have save a landfill and $2900.

I wish I could have stayed home longer.

I wish I had known that temperaments can change. I would have enjoyed my sweet 2 year old even more if I knew what was coming.

 

I pump for a long time at work (18m+) but I wish I had known with my first that stopping pumping would cause him to self wean. Everyone always says that oh, they'll adjust but some don't.

 

I am so glad that I made co-sleeping a priority for #2. I love it, she loves it, and I am less of a zombie. Too bad DH hates it and sleeps elsewhere but more room for us! I am glad they start potty learning early (16-18m) it makes it all so much easier.

 

So grateful that I found MDC. I think I was really moving in the right direction but these boards have helped me so much. I am a much better and more confident (and more stuborn of my choices) parent as a result.

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Old 03-03-2011, 02:08 PM
 
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My DS isn't even 6mo yet, but I have a few things already. 

 

Things I DIDN'T NEED - 

 

- Bucket seat, stopped using at 6 weeks, its just too bulky for a short person like me. 

- The Swing, sitting around gathering dust...

- An entire SET of bottles. I only use 2, when I go out once or twice a week....

- TONS of baby clothes, he has never worn all his clothes, some stuff we gave away NEW. 

 

Things I'm Glad I had/Did

 

- I'm glad we used a bottle occasionaly starting at a month old, he switches from bottle to breast very easily, allows me to catch a break once in a while!

- I'm glad I got differant baby carriers for me and DH. He uses the ergo, I use the pikkolo! Worth the extra money to get one we each like! 

- I glad I have a stroller, some people don't like them, I'm glad we have it! It's come in handy several times! 

- I'm glad I have pump, when I had over supply early on I was able to pump and donate the milk to a baby who wasn't able to breast feed. Her momma cried when I gave it to her around X-Mas. Said it was the best present ever, I'll never forget that. 

- I'm glad we have lots of baby toys! Now that he's old enough to care, he like having differant things to play with! 

- SO GLAD that we co-slept! It has kept me sane through bouts of fussiness and waking hourly! 

- SO GLAD That we cloth diapered! Took a while to get DH on board but now he won't ever go back! 

 

 


- Mom to Baby Mark (9/18/10) and 4 wonderful dogs!
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