What advice would you give to a new mom? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 39 Old 03-20-2011, 12:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by macy View Post

if you think your baby is a high needs baby or needs to nurse *constantly* he or she might just need more sleep, and don't expect them to sleep through lights and noises like a newborn forever.


Just have to say that I agree so much with this statement, but I have yet to find this in any baby book! It's taken me weeks to realize that my babe was tired and not so hungry. She over-nursed, cried at the breast, got really gassy...then I realized what might be happening and now things are much better! I offer comfort measures other than nursing once I notice that pattern beginning. Although, with a toddler, it's tricky to give baby a quiet atmosphere;)
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#32 of 39 Old 03-20-2011, 07:02 AM
 
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Slow down.  Balance will naturally find it's way. 


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#33 of 39 Old 03-20-2011, 07:07 AM
 
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this parenting thing is really hard and there will be moments that you feel you absolutely cannot go on, but you will go on and it really does get better.
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Me: almost 40, RN DW: 38, CPD Boy: born 4/2/2007 Girl: born 8/23/2010
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#34 of 39 Old 03-20-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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You can read all the parenting books on the shelfs of all the libraries in the world and see all the videos that have been made about having children, but you really don't know what is what until you are living it and you are there in that moment, having your child look up at you

 

Do not let anyone put fear in you, about any situation in parenthood. We all deal with things differntly, because EVERY child is diffent in their own way.

 

Be happy that you have a child, not everyone is given this blessing....because all children are a blessing, no matter what they are doing right now!!

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#35 of 39 Old 03-22-2011, 10:43 AM
 
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I would tell her to listen to her instincts, and not to what family or doctors have to say.  my doctor was very insistant that I not sleep with my baby or even hold her often, and told me I should leave her alone to cry.  I felt that this was so wrong and inhumane, and couldnt help but wonder how many parents had ignored their own instincts and listened to this Dr.  I switched Drs and I listened to my instincts and am so happy with our lives now!

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#36 of 39 Old 03-22-2011, 06:30 PM
 
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I'm going to advise something a bit different.  All the warm and fuzzies are great, but it is OK if you hate infancy.  My advice to any new mom is do not worry if you spend the early days in misery.  Hang in there!  IT DOES GET BETTER!  Give it three months.  Seriously.  Nature knows what it is doing.  Just when you are contemplating handing the baby off to the nearest loving relative and running away to join the circus, your baby will wake up, look you dead in the eyes, give you a big, toothless grin, and you will realize that motherhood is amazing.

 

No one warned me that it is possible to hate the infancy stage.  No one said that there is a place in between new-baby bliss and post partum depression.  It is called, "This Sucks."  It will pass.  My screeching, unhappy-all-the-time infant has turned into a giggling, loving-life, fun 11 month old.  Being a mom to my hilarious DD is such a joy that we are actually talking about getting pregnant soon with #2.  At least this time, I know that I'm going to hate the first three months, and that's ok.

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#37 of 39 Old 03-23-2011, 12:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sorin View Post

I'm going to advise something a bit different.  All the warm and fuzzies are great, but it is OK if you hate infancy.  



OMG THIS.

All the ladies at my church (who have pre-teens) were so gooey over Silas when he was a few weeks old. They all said, "Oh, I just love this baby stage when they're so cuddly and helpless." I didn't feel like I could say, "Really? Because I wish he would acknowledge my existence!" 

 

On a related note, just when you feel like you can't take it (waking a zillion times per night, needing to be held for naps, whatever) they grow out of it. Magic!

 

Oh, and everything past about 12 weeks is so much fun. :)


Mama to Silas Anansi, born 9/9/10 and Petra Eadaion, born 10/1/12.

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#38 of 39 Old 03-23-2011, 02:17 PM
 
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1. Immediate post-partum hormones are HARD. People warned me about the "baby blues," but didn't warn me that it can be WAY more than that for a few weeks (and not ever develop into PPD, though of course that's something to watch for). Between the physical recovery (which, for me, after an emergency c-section that was probably medically warranted but not wanted, included a blood transfusion, hallucinations from narcotics, and mastitis), sleep deprivation, and general adjustment to having a newborn, wow.

 

2. It's really OK if, for that first little while, you're taking care of your baby out of a sense of obligation rather than love or maternal instinct. You both will get through it. If you feel like you won't get through it, there is absolutely no shame in asking your doctor, midwife, doula or other caregiver for a referral for someone to talk to.

 

3. "Cluster feeding" doesn't always mean a baby will nurse for two hours straight then sleep for two hours--sometimes, it means the baby can nurse, quite literally, all night. Unfortunately, this may coincide with the sore-nipple stage and the still-recovering-from-birth stage. The good news is, this phase is short-lived, and if it happens again in a couple of months, you'll probably be better able to sleep through nursing and you probably won't be in pain anymore.


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Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
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#39 of 39 Old 03-28-2011, 11:45 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nilatti View Post





OMG THIS.

All the ladies at my church (who have pre-teens) were so gooey over Silas when he was a few weeks old. They all said, "Oh, I just love this baby stage when they're so cuddly and helpless." I didn't feel like I could say, "Really? Because I wish he would acknowledge my existence!" 

 

On a related note, just when you feel like you can't take it (waking a zillion times per night, needing to be held for naps, whatever) they grow out of it. Magic!

 

Oh, and everything past about 12 weeks is so much fun. :)


clap.gif  Right there with ya

 


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