What advice would you give to a new mom? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 04:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
McGucks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: among the wildflowers
Posts: 1,245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So we all know how much we don't like getting random unsolicited advice.  BUT...if you had to...what is the one piece of advice you would offer to a new mom if she asked for a suggestion from your experience?  Mine would be to encourage her to find other moms to connect with, whether it be through a mom's group, La Leche, whatever is available.  Can't wait to hear what you think!

 


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

McGucks is offline  
#2 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 05:19 AM
 
mom2happy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 992
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

To live in each moment and soak it all in. They are little for such a short time.

 

mom2happy is offline  
#3 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 05:54 AM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,593
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Trust your gut.  You know your baby best.  Tell your MIL to stick it.


Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is offline  
#4 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 05:55 AM
 
woodchick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: North of Boston
Posts: 2,109
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Say Yes as often as possible.

holothuroidea likes this.

Pregnant and/or Breastfeeding since 2005
Mama to two girls: 5/06 and 3/09
woodchick is offline  
#5 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 06:53 AM
mra
 
mra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 205
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

To not give up on breastfeeding. It's tough in the beginning (at least it was for me, can you say sore nipples!) but once we got it figured out it became a wonderful bonding, quiet, relaxing time for us.

asraidevin likes this.

 
 
winner.jpg  cd.gif  femalesling.GIF  familybed1.gif

mra is offline  
#6 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 07:46 AM
 
newlyminted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 16
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Remember, If your baby is:

1) Happy at least some of the time

2) Gaining weight steadily (even if it's small amounts)

3) and Learning new things every day (i.e. showing mental development)

 

S/HE is doing just FINE!

 

There is SO much obsessing early on and it's draining. New mama's just don't have the energy for all that!

 

(obviosuly, getting advice about things is great, just don't OBSESS)

 

Also, at some point, no matter how careful you are you will probablly drop your baby, or he'll roll off the changing table, or crawl off the bed.... It's a rite of passge. You're still a good mother.

newlyminted is offline  
#7 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 08:19 AM
 
soccerchic21's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Burien, WA
Posts: 3,171
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I give this piece of advice to every new mom I know. 

 

Whatever worked for Susie down the street and her 10 kids might not work for you. Trust your gut as a parent. Do what feels right for YOU and YOUR baby. You are going to get so many tips and tricks and "you have to do this". What it comes down to is you doing what you think is right not what someone else does. 


Sarah - wife, mom to Riley 7/9/03 and Jacob 7/15/05 and Hannah 1/5/11 a successful vbac.gif
soccerchic21 is offline  
#8 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 09:09 AM
 
rachael07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 34
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Expect there to be times when you will feel overwhelmed and terrified of the responsibility/challenge. Also expect there will be times when you are high on love, feeling joy like you've never felt before. As long as you experience both, things will be just fine!

rachael07 is offline  
#9 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 09:36 AM
 
AFWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Take time for yourself even if you think you don't need it. Trust me, if you don't make it a habit NOW you'll regret it later on when you really need your own headspace.


 


Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
AFWife is offline  
#10 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 09:40 AM
 
Wild Lupine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New England
Posts: 2,093
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 26 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

Trust your gut.  You know your baby best. 


This, exactly.

 


Mom to DD 7 and DS 5.
Wild Lupine is online now  
#11 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Snowflake777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 616
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

If baby is fussy then try the boob, even if they nursed just 20 minutes ago. Most babies get hungry far more frequently than we're told to expect.


Mama to a preschooler and a baby.

Snowflake777 is offline  
#12 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 10:01 AM
 
kamikazismom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Trust yourself and your instincts.  You are the expert on your own baby and you know more than you think you do!


treehugger.giflactivist.gif h20homebirth.gif

kamikazismom is offline  
#13 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 10:10 AM
 
choli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,433
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Accept as much help as is offered. Remember that attachments to other people do not detract from attachment to Mom, attachment is not a finite resource.

isabchi, PatioGardener and AFWife like this.
choli is offline  
#14 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 10:26 AM
 
BigMamaJo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

There is no one moment in time that defines you, or your child. This too shall pass.

BigMamaJo is offline  
#15 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 10:27 AM
 
macy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

if you think your baby is a high needs baby or needs to nurse *constantly* he or she might just need more sleep, and don't expect them to sleep through lights and noises like a newborn forever.

strongrad likes this.
macy is offline  
#16 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 10:37 AM
 
DiapersNHeels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would say, don't be afraid to ask opinions, but realize its opinions.  Stick to your gut and you'll be a great mom! 

DiapersNHeels is offline  
#17 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 11:56 AM
 
strongrad's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Montgomery, Texas
Posts: 49
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

to make her own informed choices.


Kymberly, Mama to DD (08/22/05) DS (08/10/08) and
strongrad is offline  
#18 of 39 Old 03-11-2011, 01:01 PM
 
P.J.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Take care of yourself, make sure to get space for just you. And that also means: you can probably trust other people to be with your baby more than you might think at first. In one sense, it is just that much more love and care he/she will be getting. It takes a village.....


Mama since 2010
Multicultural living in Europe
P.J. is offline  
#19 of 39 Old 03-12-2011, 08:37 AM
 
new2this's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We all go into parenting with an idea of how things will go or how they should be. Don't be dead set on any one thing and allow changes to happen because it may end up that it either don't work for you or it don't work for the baby. 

 

Also it is okay that daddy or even grandparents or other close people, do things that you might not do. I say if its not harming the baby or goes against your core parenting then let it be. 

new2this is offline  
#20 of 39 Old 03-12-2011, 11:13 AM
 
LindaRachel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Join a new moms support group. It's a great way to meet other new moms and benefit from the shared experience as well as the expertise of the group facilitator. In Chicago, try the Chicago New Moms Group.
LindaRachel is offline  
#21 of 39 Old 03-12-2011, 11:48 AM
 
Asiago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,777
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)

Trust your maternal instinct. If something feels wrong- it probably is.

Asiago is online now  
#22 of 39 Old 03-14-2011, 04:50 PM
 
lauriecooper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Uh oh - careful with the 'stick it to the mother-in-law' thing - with boys, you'll be one some day ;>)

But wouldn't it be nice if all mothers-in-law could keep their well intentioned comments to themselves!  I have two boys, and vowed that I would be the BEST mother-in-law on the planet.  I know all too well, that when it comes right down to it, that momma is the gate keep to the kids - no matter how good the relationship is with the son.  I got REALLY lucky and got GREAT girls - THANK GOD!

lauriecooper is offline  
#23 of 39 Old 03-14-2011, 04:55 PM
 
MaerynPearl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Hubert NC
Posts: 14,540
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Take lots of pictures and videos... because even when you savor every moment, they still grow too fast. 

 

But those pictures and videos will help your memories of baby time stay sharp. Plus, when they are parents themselves, they will love comparing their pictures/videos with their children.


Artist, photographer, stay-at-home-mom and Marine wife. Mom to 4; a boy and three little girls.
MaerynPearl is offline  
#24 of 39 Old 03-17-2011, 05:06 PM
 
Yaliina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Hampton, Virginia
Posts: 625
Mentioned: 23 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

"CHILL!!  "

 

As some PP said, it's most important to remember that this is YOUR baby, who is really a part of YOU, and therefore YOU know best!  Others may offer great or stinky advice, so listen politely, maybe take it into consideration, and then do what FEELS RIGHT, because if it feels right it won't be WRONG!  It's really hard to screw this up if you practice mindful parenting.

 

 


Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, working on my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & 1 on the way (3/15)
Yaliina is offline  
#25 of 39 Old 03-18-2011, 10:01 AM
 
Neela0207's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Harrisburg, PA
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Wow!!  What great advice:-)  I agree with everything here, as a new mom myself!  My relationship with my daughter is 6 weeks going strong!  I would have to say the top three for me so far are:

1. Meet other moms!  Even if in the beginning it's just online:-)

2. When they say baby SHOULD eat every 2-3 hours, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be eating every 20 minutes.  That is a definite possibility some days!

3. Trust yourself and trust your baby.  We've been doing this for thousands and thousands of years without books and doctors and strangers on the street telling us how.  Sure, great advice and some guidelines are super helpful, but in the end, every relationship is unique and special!

Neela0207 is offline  
#26 of 39 Old 03-18-2011, 11:39 AM
 
violinear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 22
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Don't forget to eat in those first few weeks!! Have finger food close by at all times.

violinear1 is offline  
#27 of 39 Old 03-18-2011, 06:48 PM
 
MamaofLiam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: somewhere out there
Posts: 216
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

what a great thread! hmmm... get your sleep and trust your momma bear instinct. 

MamaofLiam is offline  
#28 of 39 Old 03-18-2011, 09:03 PM
 
Luvmy2Joshs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 82
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would tell her to cherish the time she has with her first child.  The first child stays a "baby" so much longer than the next one who will probably be in a rush to grow up.  Looking back, I am so happy I stayed home with my first son and was able to savor having a baby.  Ignore people who will inevitably think your child should be more independent, that's something that comes with age and shouldn't be forced.

Luvmy2Joshs is offline  
#29 of 39 Old 03-19-2011, 01:02 AM
 
katelove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,871
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 23 Post(s)

A relaxed mum and dad *usually* means a relaxed baby as well.


Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012  mdcblog5.gif

katelove is online now  
#30 of 39 Old 03-19-2011, 06:09 PM
 
seed17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Get as much sleep as you can! Sleeping with your baby is snuggly and helps the whole family to get a good night sleep. 

Hanging with other mamas is key too.


Anna....mama to sweet little Arlo, born 8/22/10 and partner to patient Eli
seed17 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off