So we all know how much we don't like getting random unsolicited advice. BUT...if you had to...what is the one piece of advice you would offer to a new mom if she asked for a suggestion from your experience? Mine would be to encourage her to find other moms to connect with, whether it be through a mom's group, La Leche, whatever is available. Can't wait to hear what you think!
I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brother.
To not give up on breastfeeding. It's tough in the beginning (at least it was for me, can you say sore nipples!) but once we got it figured out it became a wonderful bonding, quiet, relaxing time for us.
Remember, If your baby is:
1) Happy at least some of the time
2) Gaining weight steadily (even if it's small amounts)
3) and Learning new things every day (i.e. showing mental development)
S/HE is doing just FINE!
There is SO much obsessing early on and it's draining. New mama's just don't have the energy for all that!
(obviosuly, getting advice about things is great, just don't OBSESS)
Also, at some point, no matter how careful you are you will probablly drop your baby, or he'll roll off the changing table, or crawl off the bed.... It's a rite of passge. You're still a good mother.
I give this piece of advice to every new mom I know.
Whatever worked for Susie down the street and her 10 kids might not work for you. Trust your gut as a parent. Do what feels right for YOU and YOUR baby. You are going to get so many tips and tricks and "you have to do this". What it comes down to is you doing what you think is right not what someone else does.
Expect there to be times when you will feel overwhelmed and terrified of the responsibility/challenge. Also expect there will be times when you are high on love, feeling joy like you've never felt before. As long as you experience both, things will be just fine!
Take time for yourself even if you think you don't need it. Trust me, if you don't make it a habit NOW you'll regret it later on when you really need your own headspace.
Take care of yourself, make sure to get space for just you. And that also means: you can probably trust other people to be with your baby more than you might think at first. In one sense, it is just that much more love and care he/she will be getting. It takes a village.....
Mama since 2010
Multicultural living in Europe
We all go into parenting with an idea of how things will go or how they should be. Don't be dead set on any one thing and allow changes to happen because it may end up that it either don't work for you or it don't work for the baby.
Also it is okay that daddy or even grandparents or other close people, do things that you might not do. I say if its not harming the baby or goes against your core parenting then let it be.
Uh oh - careful with the 'stick it to the mother-in-law' thing - with boys, you'll be one some day ;>)
But wouldn't it be nice if all mothers-in-law could keep their well intentioned comments to themselves! I have two boys, and vowed that I would be the BEST mother-in-law on the planet. I know all too well, that when it comes right down to it, that momma is the gate keep to the kids - no matter how good the relationship is with the son. I got REALLY lucky and got GREAT girls - THANK GOD!
Take lots of pictures and videos... because even when you savor every moment, they still grow too fast.
But those pictures and videos will help your memories of baby time stay sharp. Plus, when they are parents themselves, they will love comparing their pictures/videos with their children.
As some PP said, it's most important to remember that this is YOUR baby, who is really a part of YOU, and therefore YOU know best! Others may offer great or stinky advice, so listen politely, maybe take it into consideration, and then do what FEELS RIGHT, because if it feels right it won't be WRONG! It's really hard to screw this up if you practice mindful parenting.
Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, just completed my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & (3/15)
Wow!! What great advice:-) I agree with everything here, as a new mom myself! My relationship with my daughter is 6 weeks going strong! I would have to say the top three for me so far are:
1. Meet other moms! Even if in the beginning it's just online:-)
2. When they say baby SHOULD eat every 2-3 hours, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be eating every 20 minutes. That is a definite possibility some days!
3. Trust yourself and trust your baby. We've been doing this for thousands and thousands of years without books and doctors and strangers on the street telling us how. Sure, great advice and some guidelines are super helpful, but in the end, every relationship is unique and special!
I would tell her to cherish the time she has with her first child. The first child stays a "baby" so much longer than the next one who will probably be in a rush to grow up. Looking back, I am so happy I stayed home with my first son and was able to savor having a baby. Ignore people who will inevitably think your child should be more independent, that's something that comes with age and shouldn't be forced.
Get as much sleep as you can! Sleeping with your baby is snuggly and helps the whole family to get a good night sleep.
Hanging with other mamas is key too.