But why? How does their very personal choice effect you? I have happily and proudly BF in the past...but am making the choice to FF my twins from day one. Unless you know me personally and understand my story 100% you have no reason to be sad or judge.
NicholeMomma to 4,Twin Boys--Cole Ryan and Corbin Riley (6-13-2011), JoJo (07-12-2009) and Lil Jimmy (6-11-2008) I am a SAHM, Proudly retired breastfeeding, Proudly Formula Feeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, non-vaccing, Sposie diaper using momma.
While I am not saying you are "wrong" to make this choice it makes me sad as well. You might be making the best choice for your family, but the loss of breastfeeding as part of that is sad anyhow. It is always sad to me when a child doesn't get to nurse a generous length of time, even if it is not absolutely the most important thing or was part of a wise decision. It is a loss. Whatever else there is to the story. Being sad and judging you are quite different things.
Thank goodness my feelings are welcome and shared by many others here at Mothering.
ME&HE... loving our: dd(18) ~~ds(13) dd(13)~~ dd(10)
I agree, I cannot say anyone's choice not to BF is wrong, because everyone has to make their own decisions based on unique circumstances, but it does make me a bit sad to hear a mom say she won't even try to BF. It doesn't affect me at all but I still am allowed to have an opinion on it when I hear about it.
I think this is what my main issue is with the whole FF vs BF. If a person makes a choice to not do one or the other there is this sense of loss for those who chose not to BF. But why I don't understand it. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it. For something that is so natural people put it on this pedestal and really all that it amounts to is so what your feeding your child breast milk over formula. Just like every other woman did years ago. Now there is an alternative and while its not as great as breast milk it is a close second and the child is still getting fed. So I just don't understand the whole sense of loss for people. To me its almost condescending. If people stop caring and stop feeling sad maybe this whole mommy guilt that woman tend to put on each other would stop because bottom line all we do now(for infants/toddlers) only matters so much. Its when they are older that it really matters on who they become and even that stops mattering after a certain point.
This thread has been very interesting.
I have to say that I have this very visceral, emotional reaction to the whole BF vs. FF thing and I can completely admit that I do feel sad when I see babies, especially little ones, on a bottle. Ok, older babies too.
But I know my feelings are TOTALLY irrational. I have so many friends who adopted, or had twins (which, I can't even imagine nursing) or struggled for one reason or another.
I can't imagine BFing _ and especially exclusively and extended BFing _ unless you are emotionally motivated to do so. Intellectual reasons to BF are fine, but for me anyway - my main motivation is that it just feels like the right thing to do, regardless of whether it will make my kids smarter, healthier, better attached, or not, regardless of whether formula would be fine.
It's just not something that I can be logical about. So, I don't try to. I feel the way that I feel but I keep it to myself - or with people who know me well enough to understand it. I have said many times that if you don't want to nurse - don't do it. I can't imagine trying to do something so all-encompassing without really wanting to do it - not feeling like you "should" do it - but deeply wanting to do it.
Me (40) DH (49) daring DD (9) and darling DS - almost THREE! (born June 25, 2010 in an amazing, unplanned
i exclusively bf and love it! for me it was way cheaper than ff, and it just felt right for me. i only had to buy a nursing bra and got hand me down nursing pads - that's it! no pump was needed. so i spent maybe $60-70 total. i was very fortunate that bf came very easily and i have had no issues (i.e., mastitis, supply issues, latching issues, etc) for 15 months going strong. i don't really think that much about why others ff or bf - i guess i just assume they do what works for them. the only thing i have an issue with are those ppl that make comments like "eww that's gross" or "cover up" about me bfing. come on ppl, get over nipple phobia!
Mama to DS (March 2010) and DD (June 2012)