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January 2012 Whatever Ladies Are All Done Having Their Babies!

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17K views 509 replies 12 participants last post by  pokeyac 
#1 ·
Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/10) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012

Here is the January 2012 Pregnant thread:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1340508/january-2012-whatever-ladies-having-babies-waiting-on-the-last-one#post_16809188

Here is last month's thread:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1337786/december-2011-whatever-ladies-having-babies-we-are-down-to-one
 
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#152 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

what vitamin and mineral drink? I'm curious, b/c I think DS could use additional vitamins, but most of what I see is primarily sugar. He doesn't need more of that.

We all are rarely sick; maybe because we are down south? and therefore get a good bit of sun; I mean, last week we were out in shorts and flip flops. Even today, it's not really cold, it's the wind that kicks up and chills you.

Only DH is sick often during the winter, but he has an essential oil regimen he kicks in when he's feeling yucky. I am thankfully rarely ill, and even then it's not bad.
http://annie2186.vemma.com/next/ - this is the one I use. It has nothing like that at all in it.

Yes, I bet where you live and getting so much sun helps alot! We only get to go out in clothes that allow our skin to see the sun a few months out of the year. Plus, that is the BEST way to get it, straight from the sun :)
 
#153 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninejessica View Post

A nice compromise might be to have the out of house parent have a set time- say 20 minutes, so decompress once they get home... but then they have to take the children for another set amount of time, say an hour, before they can bring them back to the SAH parent.
See, this is the type of thing that really irks me. Why is that the WOH parent gets a few minutes before having to interact with anyone, which leaves that at home parent still doing what s/he has been doing all day without a break. Job stresses are not the same as taking care of children stresses. I will never believe that it's as hard or harder. I've done both and worked a few different types of jobs as a single parent. You get breaks at work or you have short enough shifts that you don't need breaks. You don't ever get a break at home. Even if all the kids are sleeping, it's not really a break because you have to be ready for them to wake and need you at any time. It's just not the same and I think it's totally unfair that the WOH parent gets preferential treatment. They can get their few minutes on the trip home from work. I mean, I don't get a few minutes to ease into my day in the morning before I have to start taking care of everyone else.
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I'll have to look up the info on vitamin D in my LLL book. I was surprised to read that it said you don't need that much sun exposure to get enough. I also doubt it's something that has to be continuous or every day. Like I said, vitamin D is a fat-soluble chemical, so extra that's synthesized from extended hours or days in the sun can be stored for use during those times when we can't get in the sun. I'm not saying that no one is ever deficient or that there isn't any health benefit to taking it. I'm just saying I'm not buying that it's the health crisis that's being propagated atm.
 
#154 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by annie2186 View Post

I was totally going to respond to this and I forgot. A doctor who goes to my church is very naturopathic, delayed/selective vax, was talking one time and he was saying something along the lines of "checking to see if the CHILD is immune rather than following a said vax schedule. For example - when your kid is going to kindergarten, instead of just giving them the booster, they will check their blood to see if they are still immune. Or, instead of giving a shot 4 times like the schedule says, they will give one or two and check the child themselves to see if they are immune. (and of course, I am just assuming they check the blood).

I mean, they say to give them 4 shots because 1 out of 1000 kids actually needs all 4 KWIM?

I don't know if this is something you have the time, resources, or desire to pursue but I thought I would throw it out there!
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Unfortunately, the Synagis medicine is not really a vaccine so the benefits get filtered out of the body within 28-30 days. It's not causing the baby/child to build an immunity to RSV. If the baby/child hasn't gotten the next dose by day 31, they could get sick with RSV. The reason why there are 5 doses is because that's all the insurance will pay for. RSV is around year-round but more prevalent from November-March. Since it's so expensive, most insurance companies will only pay for the doses during the most prevalent months.

MW, big hugs. I'm not saying this lightly, but it sounds like you are experiencing some mild depression. Are there any supplements you can take while BFing? I know you had good results with St. John's Wort before but not sure if you can take that while BFing. Do you have any placenta caps left?

Annie and akind1, I'm the same way. When I walk in the door, I make a bee-line for DD. I can't *not* take care of her when I am home. Same with the other kids. If I am home, I'm cooking, doing laundry for them, watching them play, overseeing shower time etc. DH can come home and sit on the couch and not do any of that.
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I am a big proponent of Vit D as well. I give DD 400 IU of Vit D daily as well as probiotics. After reading some other stories of babies w/ToF and seeing how they battle repeated illnesses, it's making me wonder if my persistence in giving her those supplements has kept her so healthy so far. Since we determined that her "stomach bug" back in December was actually a response to the Synagis, she has not been sick ever. Sometimes she gets a little stuffy if it's dry in the house but she's never had a cold or anything like that.

One of the best things about DH working during the day and me working at night is that DH is forced to be DD's caregiver. He can't get off the hook because I'm not there to rescue him. It's definitely changed his perspective on me getting stuff done when I'm home with DD because he knows how hard it is to even eat dinner when he gets home with her. The week after DD had her first surgery and he was responsible for the four older kids all on his own, I thought he was going to lose his mind! By the end of the week, he said to me "It's hard to constantly meet their physical and emotional needs!" And I just looked at him and started laughing. I said "Yeah, and I've been doing it by myself during the day, 9 months pregnant while working 8 hrs a day on the computer. It is hard!"
 
#155 ·
Oh and on the topic of being done vs not being done, my current position is that if DD's next surgery is pretty much going to be her last open-heart surgery, I would be willing to consider another child when she's around 3. But that would only be if DH agreed to another one as well. If DD is going to need more open heart surgeries after this one, I don't want to have any more kids. I just can't see asking a little one to live at my mom's or something for a couple of weeks at a time while I'm at the hospital helping DD recover from surgery. I just don't think it's fair. I may change my mind as she gets older but right now, that's how I feel. We will not do anything permanent though because of our religious beliefs.
 
#156 ·
I don't get the whole decompression thing after coming home either. To me, once you're home, you're on. I don't really care how hard your day was. That said, I also don't really like to bow out the second DH is home from work. I hate passing the kids off. I'd rather hang out for a bit, talk about our respective days, and then be like, "Ok, can I grab a shower/run/go to the store?" Kind of like sharing the responsibility rather than taking turns. It just feels nicer and more respectful of both our times. Plus it does give DH time to grab a snack or something before really taking over, without him getting "a break" or something.

Our sitch is weird tho b/c he works from home. Idk if that makes a huge difference. He isn't upstairs holed away all day, but most of the time honestly I prefer it that way b/c it really messes with DD. She doesn't know when/if he's working and it confuses her, and she gets very angry at DH at odd times.

Mw -
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#157 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

That said, I also don't really like to bow out the second DH is home from work. I hate passing the kids off. I'd rather hang out for a bit, talk about our respective days, and then be like, "Ok, can I grab a shower/run/go to the store?" Kind of like sharing the responsibility rather than taking turns. It just feels nicer and more respectful of both our times.
ITA. I don't usually want to just pass the kids off, either. It's not like I'm standing at the door waiting to hand him the baby, bitch about how tired I am or something like that, and then disappear. Some days I might want to do that but those really are rare. I just want dh to get involved as soon as he walks in. The boys usually run for the door when they hear his Jeep and jump all over him when he walks in. I say, if we are both home, we both should be taking care of the kids equally.

Another thing that gets me going is the idea that it shouldn't be a problem if dh wants to get up early and go workout most mornings when he could be home to help out. If I even mention telling Sean I need him home, I get flack from lots of people about how he needs time to exercise and destress or whatever. Now, with Sean it's a little different because even if he didn't leave at 5 am to go workout, he'd still have to leave before we usually get up so it's kind of a non issue. He doesn't have a choice. Also, staying fit is an important part of his job, not just as a requirement to keep his job but also as a literal life saver. If his unit has PT at 6:00 am, he has to go. But on the weekends, no way! If he wants to go for a run, he needs to make sure he's back in time to help with the kids when they get up. And, if he could be home in the mornings even for a half hour after the kids got up to help with breakfast, I'd expect it. We'd have to work something out about when he would have time to workout.

I left Ethan home alone (sort of) for a little over an hour while I went shopping for his birthday presents. He wasn't really home alone, though. Ryan was here sleeping. I didn't tell Ryan I was leaving or ask him to watch Ethan so Ethan was still in charge of himself. He was fine. He called me once to ask me to pick up food on the way home. I think that was just an excuse to try calling me. hehe

He got a chance at a shot at his basketball game tonight. He didn't make it but he was close. Unfortunately, I missed it because Kellen wouldn't sit still so I couldn't pay attention to the game. He actually fell backward, hit his head on the bleacher behind us and then fell to floor in between them. He wasn't hurt bad but everyone else gasped. I was just mad because I had told him countless times to sit down and be still.

Which leads me to my next problem. I feel like Kellen is completely out of control. He's constantly just going crazy, running, jumping on and off furniture, yelling and screaming. He bothers everyone until they get so mad that they yell at him but it doesn't seem to phase him. The other night I lost it and screamed at him. Afterward, I felt so bad that I just hugged him and cried. When I finally put him down after he asked me to, he had a smirk on his face, one of those smiles he knows is inappropriate so he's trying to hide but can't quite completely. It looked like he thought me being that upset was funny. I just don't know what to do with him.

I've tried talking to him. I've tried making him sit on the couch next to me. I've tried making him sit in a chair by himself. I've sent him out to the backyard to just run and yell and play. I've tried just loving on him. He never runs down. I hate that everyone else is angry or annoyed with him a lot of the time. Even Ryan, who was just like him as a kid, gets really annoyed with him. I'm at my wit's end.
 
#158 ·
Annie ~ i forgot to respond to you. i may have mild depression. i had seen a new counselor a few times but things didn't work out because of the kids. they are too old for me to talk freely in front of and i can't afford childcare costs and counseling fees. i'm definitely not comfortable taking antidepressants after the recent news about them causing birth defects while all the docs were smiling and saying they were perfectly safe. i do have some placenta caps and a tincture. i've been meaning to ask the woman who made them if they are still safe since i didn't freeze them and how to take the tincture again. i just haven't gotten around to it. honestly, the idea of using either now kind of grosses me out. i thikn consistent good sleep would help a lot but who knows when i'll get that.
 
#159 ·
Hugs again MW. DSS 11 is usually wide open too and drives his siblings crazy. I try to ignore the crazy-making behavior but when I'm tired, stressed or otherwise not operating at full capacity, it's hard to take. He does a lot of sensory seeking though so when he starts pushing me over the edge, it's usually pretty helpful to take him to the indoor pool at our gym and let him swim for a couple of hours. Something about the water on his skin and going underwater and holding his breath over and over helps him feel better.

I know what you mean about therapy and the kids. DH thinks I need to go to a therapist and I'm sure I do but I don't want to take DD with me and I don't want to have her spend any more time than necessary at the babysitter. So it's not happening right now.

I know that E doesn't like to be separated from you for any length of time but how does K do with it? Would he enjoy a morning play time at a preschool/daycare center? Or like a Montessori program? That would probably be helpful to help him focus on one activity at a time.
 
#160 ·
I don't mind talking to a counselor with the baby with me. I figure he can't really understand what I'm saying. Kellen may not quite understand everything I say but he could probably get the gist and could certainly repeat. Ethan would understand and I'm afraid it would be very upsetting for him, as I'm sure you would understand. I don't want my 7 year old hearing all the horrible stuff that goes on in my head.

I've actually just set up a trial at a gymnastics class for Kellen. It's only 1 day a week for an hour but it would give him something of his own to do. We were all ready to start him back at TKD but Ethan's practice was moved to Mondays and he has games every Tuesday and Thursday. I just didn't see the point of pay8ing $50 a month to take Kellen to TKD one night a week. But, now that I say that, that's about how much his gymnastics class will cost.

I appreciate the suggestions about daycare/preschool but it's just not an option for me. I'm sure you all think I'm crazy for not doing that. But, as good as some programs may be, I honestly believe that any type of structured schooling like that is not good for kids. I have avoided going into the details about that because I don't want to offend anyone. However, I've been around a lot of homeschool groups and people online and IRL now and I've read a lot on the case against any type of schooling and I am fundamentally against it.
 
#161 ·
i want to add that kellen has been doing a lot better when we've been going to all the homeschool outings. things slowed down over the holidays but they are starting to pick up again. hopefully, that will help, too.
 
#162 ·
No, I don't think you are crazy to have the opinion that structured schooling is not a good option. I have that opinion a lot too, especially with young boys. Buuuuutttt, I also don't think it's healthy to have a stressed out mama all the time so I think it's important for you to find a way (that you are comfortable with of course!) for you to get some "me" time to recharge your batteries. (I know you won't be offended by me being so direct about this!) As a fellow introvert, I absolutely have to have some alone time to let my brain get back in order. Even if it's just driving by myself to the grocery store and back!

I'm not comfortable taking DD in to therapy w/me because I always end up a blubbering mess and she's very intuitive and it would upset her for me to be so upset.

I think I'm going to hold off a bit longer on solids. She's very close to sitting on her own so I'm just going to wait until she can do that well. Did I tell you all that she has been sleeping from 12:30 AM-7 AM every day this week? Normally, that would be a good thing but with her crazy week from the Synagis medicine, it has me concerned. I mentioned it to her nurse and she said she would talk to her doctor about it. In the meantime, I think I'm going to try to do a dreamfeed at 4 AM which is the time she would normally wake up. I'm not comfortable with her dropping that feed and her weight gain this week has been very poor.
 
#163 ·
no, i'm not offended at all by your dircetness. i appreciate it. i agree, i wish there were a way for me to get some time for myself. that's one way the homeschool outings are so nice. the kids play and i get to talk with the other mamas or just sit. they like to pass dylan around. there's even a really nice 13yo girl who likes to hold dylan.

i do need to adjust things. this happens every few months. i've decided the boys can't turn the TV on or play video games until after noon. we've been spending the mornings doing more activities. ethan always did really well with free play/time. he does science experiments. he spent this morning looking up holidays and other dates on the calendar and wrote an email to his dad. but kellen needs more direction. i haven't found what he's really interested in yet. he doesn't like to draw or write much. i've asked him what things he would like to do and all he comes up with is video games. he's not quite old enough for most sports or homeschool activities since he's not compulsory school age yet.

Thanks for talking this out with me. It helps me come up with more ideas of things to try.
 
#164 ·
MW: Does K like any more physical art? like clay/sculpting, building, etc? I wonder if there are more basic kits that allow kids to take something apart and put it back together . . .

on the unschooling front, I think that is how you and DH have a mutual FB friend. You shared something via him the other day, and I was like, how do they know each other?? since he is more local to us. I mentioned unschooling to DH, and he said that must be it, even though the mutual friend doesn't have kids old enough for school yet - his is just a little older than Gabe.

I don't know that structured school works well for everybody - esp boys - In SC (I don't know if they do this in NC?) they do a public version of homeschool, with web classes and a lot more self direction. I have one friend whose son really thrives with that. The only thing I very much disagree with is that they can't continue to do extracurricular activities through the school, like band. If your child wants that, you have to find outside private tutoring (which you of course are responsible for paying for). When my sister homeschooled in Okinawa, she was welcome to take a class or two at the high school and participate in sports, etc through the school if she wanted. She did do math and science there because Math wasn't working from home (cue DRAMA), and science stuff can be expensive, even though we got some goverment $$ for homeschool supplies. I don't see why they can't continue to accomodate that.

I know we intend to homeschool our kids - I don't know if it's because SC in general has such low test scores - but they really focus on testing here, and I very much disagree with that. Then kids learn how to be good test-takers; they don't necessarily LEARN anything. Exactly how we go about it (will we buy a curriculum? which one? or go on a subject by subject basis? or just kind of DIY?) I will figure out later.

One thing I love about where we are is that nearly all the "educational" places - the zoo and museums - have a set homeschool day where they cater to homeschoolers and welcome them with special programs and stuff. That sounds like a great opportunity for the locals and also to meet other homeschooling parents.

DD is so funny, she'll fuss, but doesn't want the paci or anything, just wants you to talk with her - it makes her soooo happy! I wish I could just do that, but I have to work too!

Not good sleep for us. DH (I can blame him - he was on the computer and watching Harry Potter right next to me) let me sleep until 2 on the couch, and then I fed DD and went to bed, and I'm up at 6:30 to work. ugh. I don't count couch sleep as "sleep". oh well. And DS took nearly 2 hours to get to sleep. (from 9:30 to at least 11) ugh.
 
#165 ·
Kellen sounds so so much like my friends son - although she just calls him "all boy" and makes derogatory comments about gender - but he's got the same personality. Just constant go-go-go. She often takes him to the mall indoor playground just to "run him", or lines the living room floor with pillows and they either wrestle around or he just climbs all over. He will play with cars or trains but only for a few minutes at a time. Mostly all activity has to be physical. He is also 3.

She "warned" me about boys. She was all like, Finn will NEVER sit like Nora does. You'll never get a shower again (do you guys remember all this from when I found out I was having a boy? I was so upset b/c I felt like she couldn't be happy for me, she was just spoiling the whole thing with warnings!!). Anyway, just know you aren't alone. I'm guessing Ethan and Ryan were more introverted like you are? I don't think there's anything wrong with Kellen. He just has more energy to use and finding a way to harness that energy can be tricky.

Anyway, I hear you on the school thing. I have to say you have planted a bug in my brain about the whole concept of public school. I still can't say I personally would home school or unschool, but you really have opened my mind to possibilities other than what is "expected". What else can you do to just get a break? I wonder if there are any good babysitters around. Even that 13 year old girl you mentioned. Maybe you need a mothers helper? Just someone to entertain or run Kellen while you feed Dylan, or someone to play with both while you grab a nice long hot shower. Or anything! A mothers helper is not something to scoff at. So many of my mama friends with ONE LO have a helper, especially if they are home by themselves most/all of the time.

AFM - I'm starting to get worried again about Finn's head shape. In pictures, its starting to really show up pronounced that something isn't quite right. He looks so cute and adorable (and normal) from the front, but as soon as you see his profile, it's obvious (to me) that something is off. The nurses at the ped office laughed at me when I mentioned it. They said babies spend a lot of time on their backs, and "don't worry, mom, it's normal" but I can't let it go. I think I want to get him evaluated. I don't want a helmet baby but OTOH I don't want a flat head baby either. I know it's all my fault. With his reflux I let him sleep in the swing too much. I agonized every damn night before I put him in that swing, and some nights the guilt was so heavy I let him sleep on me in the most uncomfortable positions. Sitting up in the recliner for months. But I still feel like it happened anyway.

It might be enough to just take the swing away and never use it, and encourage more tummy time. I don't know. I won't know until I have him checked by someone. And I'm kind of a wreck about it. I cried a little last night, though I think i was just also overtired and overwhelmed.

DH comes home tonight!! At like 2 am, but still. I'll take it. I'm so so so ready for him to come home!!
 
#166 ·
Carrie: It is NOT all your fault! I do think some babies are more prone to having a flat head than others. Can you post a profile pic and we'll give honest opinions?

FWIW: Norah has a total bald spot on the back of her head. She spends a lot of time in the baby rocker, but a lot of that is because it just the safest place for her, what with Gabe running around and dogs and stuff. - she turns her head from side to side in it a lot, and I think the friction is what causes it. I feel bad - she loves tummy time! - but well, I figure the hair will grow back . . .

Gabe is definitely all boy too (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense; he just loves to do "boy" things and run around like a crazy person): but he does sit still. well, mostly when playing with an electronic device. Finn is such a happy mellow baby - hopefully he will continue that as he gets mobile!
 
#167 ·
I know. It's just hard not to feel guilty. Here are a few of the troubling shots.

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Compared to Nora at the same exact age:

20090314_131241_k10d.jpg

To me Finn's head looks rounded but almost cone like. Pointy. Like this description, which is brachycephaly:

brachyside.jpg

Thing is that baby is looking straight ahead. When Finn looks straight ahead and not down like he is in those pictures, his head does NOT look like that. It looks normal. Like this:

400

2012-01-13103659.jpg?t=1326469079

Ok. Be honest. What do you think (but be gentle)!
 
#168 ·
I don't think it is as extreme as in the picture. my DH's head looks like that. and he's ok. I think.

I'd take pics to the doc; some things are clearer in pictures than in person.
 
#169 ·
Carrie ~ I think it looks normal. The only photo in which his head looks a little misshapen is the first one but that might just be the angle the photo was taken. He looks perfectly normal in all the other photos and certainly nothing like the diagram you posted. My babies heads weren't all shaped the same. Ethan and Dylan have very round heads. Ryan and Kellen had more elongated heads. Oh, do you remember the baby I told you about that I saw when Dylan was only a week or so old, the one who's mother is a teenage family friend? I mentioned then how flat his head was. I mean, it was completely flat. He was about 5 months old then. I saw him last week (at about 10 months) and his head looked normal and he hasn't had any intervention or treatment, no helmet. That being said, if you are really concerned, have a doctor evaluate him. I'm sure s/he will tell you Finn is fine.

I have tried over the years to find a reliable babysitter or mother's helper and I just can't. I have given up on that.

Kellen got a lot of building and banging toys for Christmas. We have tons of various types of building blocks. We don't have clay or playdoh because I'm not good at putting things away right away and it would get dried out. The mall is tiny here. There's no indoor play area. There's Chuck E. Cheese, Chick-fil-a and Mcdonald's. We got to the Chick-fil-a sometimes but I can't take him there every day.

And, Carrie, don't believe your friend about all boys being wild. Ethan is not like that at all. He is very chill most of the time. He likes to wrestle and run and play just like other kids but he doesn't take it to an extreme like Kellen does. He stops when he's told to stop. He recognizes what's dangerous and what isn't. Ryan was actually very much like Kellen. He was also diagnosed with ADHD when he was around 8. He's not hyper any more but he certainly lacks impulse control and he's very forgetful.
 
#170 ·
Kat ~ I forgot to ask who our mutual friend is. There are only two guys I can think of who are unschoolers. One is an online friend who lives in the UK or Ireland or something like that. The other is not really a friend. He's someone I've subscribed to so I can follow his posts. I bet it's that guy, Justin Stout. He has a toddler and a new baby. He has several public FB pages devoted to unschooling, breastfeeding, nonviolent parenting, libertarianism, atheism, and I'm sure a bunch of others I don't know about.
 
#171 ·
Finn has flat -spots-, but I don't see the flat head alltogether. I think if you look, so can see that while there are 'angles' to it, he doesn't have the whole back of his head flat like the picture. My guess is it's just his head changing shape still and he'll outgrow it. Could you place him on a flat surface and look at it from that angle? I think you'll see that where his head actually touches the surface, it's not flat at all. I really don't think it's anything you're doing, and is just normal baby head changing shape.

MW-- is there anyone in your schooling groups that you would trust to do trade off mornings? Do for instance monday mornings at her house, and wednesday mornings at yours, that way you have a bit of time for yourself, but the boys are with someone who you know shares the same ideals? It's a tough spot to be in. Even with DD this young, and much less to consider, I have a hard time thinking of anyone I would feel completely confident about leaving her with. Not that she wouldn't be safe, but just that I don't feel our wishes would be 100% respected.

Maybe Ryan would care for them for an hour or two? It sounds like he's been better about helping out around the house, and maybe with a payment incentive, especially if he understood how much you needed just a bit of a break.

Would K do a workout type video? It sounds funny for such a young guy, but I've seen a lot of young ones who really enjoy following those, and seeing if they can mimic what's on the tv. It's a challenge, and it makes them feel very adult. You can get some exciting kick boxing type ones, or try to make it more calming and do a yoga one. Could be worth a shot!

AFU-- DD had SUCH a good evening/night last night! We sat and watched a hockey game at night, which she loves because of the colors and shapes moving, and then I was nursing her at about 930, and we remembered we had to go to my fathers to feed his cats, so we ran the quick errand, which broke up her concentration, and then when we got home, I nursed again at about 1030, and she fell asleep, and DH and I had a chance to have a really good long serious tlak from like 11pm until 130am. Then he went to bed, I finished on the computer and went to sleep at 2am. I put her in bed beside me, because I figured she'd be up in the next 30 minutes or so, but she slept until 3:30am! 4.5 hours, and that's including a move in location. Then she slept from 4 until 7 in the bassinet, fed, etc, and then slept again in the bassinet until just after 9. She got up for the day, we changed her, fed, she puked everywhere, so we gave her a bath, and then played, and now she's napping again in my lap at 10:30! And it actually feels like a solid sleep! If I can somehow manage to keep her asleep for 90 minutes or so, I think we could have a good day on our hands! She just usually gets so overtired she doesn't know what to do with herself.

AND, I pumped yesterday just before a feeding for 5 minutes or so, just to take some off the top because I was leaking all over the place, and then I pumped while she was feeding as well. Soooo awkward, but worth it. I got 3.5 ounces in the total of about 15 minutes. Usually in about 25-30 minutes I -might- get 2oz, but I feel like I'm fighting for every drop. I want to start building up a bit of a freezer stash, so I feel much better about this. There's been a couple times where I've been exhausted, and DH has offered to take her to his sisters and 'play' there for a few hours, so I can sleep uninterrupted, but I've never had enough milk to send with her, so we couldn't. If we get a few feedings worth in the freezer, then we can do that if I need.

Guys, it's been like... 15 hours without a screaming fit! I'm torn between being in shock, and being in heaven. She's fussing like a normal baby, without having looooong bouts of uncontrollable shrieking.

Oooh, and she's been wearing her necklace now for 5 days I think? I don't know if I've noticed a difference in the reflux (maybe that was last night though...) but she woke up this morning and I realized her baby acne, which had gotten pretty bad, is almost gone. Yay!
 
#172 ·
JJ ~
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There is at least one person in my homeschool group who I would be fine leaving Ethan and Kellen with for a few hours. I won't leave Dylan with anyone, though. He's too young. I don't leave babies who are EBF or almost EBF with sitters or friends, although I will leave them with my dh or my mom for an hour while napping to run a quick errand. Plus, that 13yo girl could babysit but she lives kind of far.

I've never asked anyone to watch my kids because I don't feel comfortable trading. I have never felt comfortable watching other people's kids. I'm really not much of a kid person. Ha! I don't know what to do with them (other than my own, and even then I'm sometimes at a loss).

The exercise video is actually a good idea. We have Just Dance Kids for the Wii. I should encourage him to play that more often. I think it was kind of hard for him when we first got it but that was at least a year ago so I bet he's better at it now.

We're having a really strange morning/day. Dylan woke up around 8 but was happy to stay in bed and just cuddle while I dozed some more. At around 10 he wanted to nurse and fell back to sleep for his morning nap without ever getting out of bed! It's now 12:30 and he's still sleeping. He keeps making noises but every time I go to check on him, he's asleep. I hope he's not waking, finding himself alone, and then going back to sleep because he's given up. He hasn't been fussing or crying. Yesterday, I went to check on him after he'd been napping for a while and he was just laying in the bed with his eyes open. He wasn't doing anything, just laying there. Is that weird?

So, wish me a lot of luck tonight. Ethan wants to go to Red Lobster for his birthday dinner. It will be the first time I've taken all 3 kids to a real restaurant by myself. I'm planning to go early so we won't have to wait, since it's Friday night and payday. Oh crap! I just realized that.
 
#173 ·
Baby_Cakes, his head is not flat. Is it changing shape? Yes. But his whole body is changing! My DSC's baby sister that is 3 months older than DD had a flat head for a while. She spends a lot of time in her infant carrier. But I saw her recently and it's going away on its own without intervention. The pic you posted today on FB of Finn trying to crawl, that baby's head is not flat! But definitely mention it to the doc next time if you are still concerned. One of the big lessons I have learned from DD having a CHD is to trust my mama instinct. If something feels off with her, even if she looks fine, usually something is up.
 
#174 ·
Just the fact that none of you are like, "oh my goodness get him checked" makes me breathe a HUGE sigh of relief!! Oh thank you, thank you. I'm always afraid people are staring at his head.

Maybe my guilt is making me see things? I think that's possible. I can't shake the huge knot in my gut I have over the swing sleeping. I think this weekend I'm going to have DH put the swing away. We will figure out how to live without it.

alysia - do you guys have the wii fit plus? DD really enjoys the running game and last year at 2 she could barely do it but is good at it now. Good luck out with the kids. I bet you'll have fun and enjoy yourself even!

JJ - Hooray for a good night!! And you know what, the first thing that the hazelwood did for Finn was clean up his skin. All his white heads went away. He had tragic acne, I was always picking, but once the necklace went on it cleared right up. Awesome that it's doing the same for Tenley!!

Oh, alysia, about the staring - Finn does that from time to time. I think all ppl do. I bet he was just zoning out! Did it seem odd to you or just like he was being thoughtful?
 
#175 ·
I think I must have missed something about swing sleeping. Why do you feel bad about it? What's wrong with it if it's what works for everyone as long as Finn isn't left in there alone and upset?

I do have the Wii fit something or other. I moved the Wii upstairs. I spend most of my time downstairs so I guess that just wasn't even entering my mind. Ethan used to like to do the exercises with that. I will get that set up so they can both do that, too. What great ideas! Thank you all.

I guess Dylan zoning out wasn't odd. He was just laying there quietly. I felt bad because I was afraid I'd left him alone too long. But, like I said, he wasn't fussing or anything. Maybe he was enjoying some quiet alone time.
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I guess it seems odd to me that a baby would want to be alone. Why wouldn't he call for me as soon as he woke up?
 
#176 ·
Finn does that too. He is so mellow and so reserved (when he isn't doing his wonderful high pitched scream/screech to get attention) that sometimes I forget he's there. I don't have to entertain him. He's happy watching, observing, looking. I'm so curious to see how he will be as he gets older. This is so different from High Needs Nora who needed constant attention and redirection and to be held or fussed over or SOMETHING.

The guilt over the swing sleep is just mine. I know there's nothing wrong with it in general, but when he was smaller he was spending 8-12 hours a day in the swing. I'd put him in at 8 or 9 pm, he'd sleep til 12 in it, I'd feed him, put him back in. He would sleep another 4 hours in it. He took all his long naps there, so another 2-3 hours at a time. I didn't know what else to do, and it worked for the time being b/c everyone's sleep needs were being met. But I agonized over it b/c I wanted him to sleep with me. I wanted him next to me, I wanted him to be able to side lie nurse so he wouldn't wake up fully. But b/c of his reflux, he would just puke everywhere. He still can't side lie nurse all the time. Milk comes out his nose, congests him, makes him spit up. I know if there IS something wrong with his head shape, it's b/c of that swing. But for normal use, I don't see any issues with swing sleep. Like I said, Nora took all her naps there as a baby and her head was/is fine.

I think I'm going to just stop using it as a crutch, and get him taking all his naps in the cosleeper. That's on an angle still, but he sleeps more on his side, and moves his head back and forth.
 
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